baby garbage

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I can relate

***VOLUME/OBNOXIOUS YELLING WARNING***
UGHHH i am so sorry. JUST… i’m speechless. words can’t describe how much i love this scene

Kingsman Aesthetics: Merlin

“My idea of ‘help from above’ is a sniper on the roof.”

Chicken emoji reviews

Barely a chicken, the wattles aren’t even right and the comb is too smooth, a bad chicken 0/5

A very stout but good hen, i like their small comb and correct wattles, they look a bit scared tho with those white eyes 4/5

Strong and sharp! This hen reminds me of a dragon, could possibly be a cockatrice, so watch out! The wattles are wrong tho 3/5

The fuck is this, who gave this marshmallow a beak and two twigs for feet? Also those fake eyelashes and blush won’t fool anyone buddy -2/5

Very large and soft gal, tho her head is too small and that neck doesn’t quite look right, nor are the wattles correct 2/5 

That’s just an egg with a face drawn on it and a ribbon put on top, you didn’t even try, very bad -2/5

You tried, tho the wattles nor comb look right, combs don’t work like hair silly facebook 1/5

A better version of facebook’s attempt, this hen looks a bit confused tho, probably because it seems barely anyone can get a chicken’s wattles right 2/5

This abomination is out for blood, don’t let it stare at you for too long or it might attack you 0/5

A nicer version of twitter’s evil hen, simple and kinda cute but still incorrect, would put my trust into her tho to protect me from her more frightening cousin 3/5

Amazing, beautiful! The best looking one so far, almost perfect, has a great looking comb but their wattles and feet are a little lacking, i can look past that tho and this hen will keep you safe forever 5/5

My poor darling, what the fuck are you even?? That’s not a chicken, not in the slightest, and if it is then it has been deformed beyond repair, i feel sorry for whatever this thing is -3/5

Single Dad AU

I have been writing almost 20K of angst and I’m in a need of some fluff. I love and protect all the Voltron HCs and AUs, but I especially love the AU where Shiro is an actual Dad™ and the others are actually little babies. But just imagine combining certain HCs with this AU:


• Single Dad Shiro and his little son, Keith, go to a daycare when Shiro has to work
• This makes autistic Keith very uncomfortable. All the loud noises, gross textures and kids constantly wanting to touch him makes Keith freak out more than usual
• Shiro worries about how much he has to take off work to get Keith. The whole point of daycare is to allow him to work more, in order to keep their house and keep Keith happy
• Lance tries to befriend Keith, as the friendliest kid in the class, but Keith is at a nonverbal point and lashes out at Lance instead. He realizes that Lance is just trying to be nice, but he’s too overstimulated to care
• Shiro has to pick up Keith early and learns that he got into a fight with another kid. Shiro constantly apologizes to the headmaster, but they don’t listen and kick Keith out for his behavior
• When Shiro leaves sadly with a stressed Keith, Allura (a secretary working her last day) recognizes him as a war Veteran, who saved his entire team from being executed and recognizes the autistic behavior in Keith
• She talks Shiro into bringing Keith to the daycare she has just opened, and states there will be less kids for Keith to worry about
• Willing to try anything, Shiro agrees but worries for Keith. Keith is his first priority and doesn’t want to see him stressed again.
• Allura’s daycare has several classes but her personal class only has 3 others kids besides Keith. Shiro hopes this works
• Lance is one of the kids
• Upon seeing Keith, Lance declares him as his “ETERNAL RIVAL, WHOM HE SHALL FIGHT.” But then he’s distracted by the dinosaurs that Pidge is playing with
• Lance has ADHD
• Pidge has OCD
• Hunk has anxiety
• Allura explains she made this class specific for children who require a different way of learning and have different needs
• Keith seems to make friends with everyone, though he doesn’t realize it. Pidge likes how quiet he is and appreciates how he doesn’t touch their toys or disorganize them. Hunk enjoys when Keith gets angry at other kids during one of his anxiety attacks. Despite being rivals, Lance likes Keith’s energy once Keith warms up to them
• Keith doesn’t understand the term “rivals” he also doesn’t understand jokes
• Shiro is the dad that waits until all the kids’ parents have picked them up. He’s waited on several occasions with Keith’s friends
• One time Lance waited for almost an hour and cried that they didn’t love him anymore. Keith was annoyed by the sound of his crying and told him so. Shiro went to scold him when he noticed that Lance had stopped crying to argue back.
o Shiro told Lance that his family loved him very much and would never forget about him and the smile Lance sent him was worth it
o Shiro didn’t realize so many people could fit into one car when Lance’s family finally pulled up. Dozens of people got out to thank Shiro and hug Lance. It turns out their other car broke down on their way to pick up Lance
o Shiro offered to fix it and learned how gracious Lance’s family could be
• Shiro has PTSD from his time in the army. He wakes up some nights with his hand reaching for a gun and sweat dripping down his back and screams ringing in his ears. Sometimes he stays awake all night just watching Keith sleep
o Some nights Keith wakes up and silently crawls into Shiro’s bed
• Allura suggests that Shiro look into a getting a therapy dog for Keith, that can help him calm down and stim
• Turns out Keith prefers dogs over people and instantly bonds with the trained dog picked out for him. The dog adores Keith and always alerts Shiro when Keith becomes overstimulated or is about to have an outburst
o The dog has also silently helped Shiro with his PTSD, waking him up before a nightmare gets bad, providing his fur against Shiro’s real hand when he’s experiencing a flashback, reminding Shiro to take off his prosthetic after a long day
• Lance, Hunk and Pidge love Keith’s dog (named Red by Keith)
• Lance has to be reminded that Red is not a play pet, but something that helps Keith and if Keith doesn’t want them near Red, they have to respect that
o Pidge understands this best
• Pidge learning from Allura that non-binary is real and a thing, thus Pidge starts referring themselves as they/them
• Keith helps to “pretend bake” with Hunk when Hunk gets too nervous around other kids. Both of them bond with just being with one another
• Lance and Keith get into many scuffles but non are as bad as their first encounter
o Lance introduces Keith to his family as his “boyfriend”
o Lance’s family coos and instantly takes videos of the moment; Keith is confused as he was promised a cupcake but he isn’t nervous around Lance’s big family as he is with others
o Shiro makes copies for himself of the videos
• Pidge and Keith usually silently sit together with Pidge building a tower and then letting Keith knock it over, only to repeat the process all over again

Just please, I love little kiddies AU and dad Shiro. Never let that AU die. Welp, I suppose its time for angst again.

Vegan Lena is always trying to make Kara eat healthier to the point where she cooks/bakes for her with the sole intention of sneaking vegetables in her food.

She puts avocado in chocolate chip cookies, zucchini in muffins, kale in berry smoothies, etc.

And when Kara finds out she is APPALLED and doesn’t speak to Lena for like, THREE hours

Diamond City’s littlest detectives