baby dirtbag

                                             Weekly Fic Rec

1. i’m just a teenage dirtbag baby, like you by icecreamandlarry

Words: 5k

Louis hits Harry in the face with a football. Pickup lines ensue.

2. That’s How I Know by @allwaswell16

Words: 17k

Louis Tomlinson has just landed his dream job, coaching soccer at Augustus University. When he moves into a new house near campus, he meets his very fit new neighbor, English professor Harry Styles. Although their first meeting leads to an instant mutual dislike, the more Harry gets to know Louis, the more he likes what he sees.

Or the one where Harry’s African grey parrot spills his dirty secrets to his very hot neighbor.

3. Curtains, Cataclysms, and Constellations by @thedarkestlarrie

Words: 30k

Harry doesn’t understand the boy next door.

People don’t normally send surreptitious messages through the form of symbolic emotion and quick glances if they want to be left alone. Right?

No. His new neighbour is trying to say something to him.

(And if Harry decides to devote his entire summer to figuring him out, it will be a summer well spent.)

4. pray for some sweet simplicity by @emperorstyles

Words: 237k

Louis is the only omega to ever make it in the cut-throat world of competitive motorcycle racing—that is, he would be if anyone actually knew about his identity. Now, his sights are set towards competing in—and winning—the European Grand Prix, the biggest and most difficult race of the entire year, so he can disappear underground for good. He’s close enough, too, until an alpha sports journalist is assigned to follow Louis’s every move as he prepares for the event of his career.

Or, an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

5. Lock Me Up With Love by @afangirlfantasy

Words: 9k

Harry had completed the juggling one, as well as waxing some of his body hair, but the task he has stupidly agreed to complete next is the one that scares him the most - slapping a Police Officer’s or Security Guard’s ass.

Fuck.

Or an AU where Harry’s in college, Louis’ a cop, and everything is Niall’s fault.

AKA The Scavenger Hunt Fic

HBO War Road Trip au Add-On

Okay so I have like 50 bazillion headcanons for this but I’m gonna try to keep it small fry for right now so

Car #1 - Dad Mobile

  • Literally the chillest car because Dad Winters 
  • Dad Winters means not too obnoxious music
  • Basilone’s in the back pouting because he wants to play his moto Marine music
  • Nix is obviously DJ-ing/in control of the aux cord
  • Current playlist consists of: Radiohead, Queen, the Waterboys, Fleetwood Mac, probs David Bowie, Pete Yorn, Don Henley, a little RHCP from Gene, the Joy Division, Elvis Presley, the Hollies, CCR

Car #2 - The S.S. RayRay

  • LITERALLY THE SING-ALONG CAR
  • Brad’s the long-suffering parent sitting in the passenger seat listening to Ray, Skip, and Penk belting songs out
  • “If anyone of you guys starts singing country I swear to god” - Brad
  • Ray throwing back tons of Ripped Fuel and going off on rants, because Ray
  • Malarkey’s got a card game going on in the back rows
  • “I’M JUST A TEEEEEEENAGE DIRTBAG, BABY!”
  • Current playlist consists of: Sum 41, ABBA, Queen, the Pixies, Faith No More, Wheatus, Alanis Morissette, House of Pain, Jurassic 5, Mudhoney, Beastie Boys, Kasabian, Franz Ferdinand

Car #3 - Salt Crew

  • Hope you like punk rock because that’s all Liebgott’s playing while he’s driving
  • SOOOO MUCH BLACK FLAG 
  • “For the last time Web we’re not listening to Vampire Weekend” - Liebgott
  • Grant’s music taste is the only acceptable alternative for some reason
  • Babe and Guarnere are in the back trading stories about Philly
  • Poor Skinny’s listening to his own music while Lieb and Web argue over theirs
  • “Shut up and pick something already, Jesus” - Hoosier with quintessential Hoosier face
  • Current playlist consists of: Black Flag, FIDLAR, Queens of the Stone Age, Glass Animals (”Goddammit Web!”), Public Enemy, Burning Sensations, the Circle Jerks, Dan Auerbach, the Black Keys, Pearl Jam

Car #4 - Hot Wheels

  • PARTY VAN YO
  • Luz has put together the weirdest playlist by far
  • He has a tendency to dance while he’s driving
  • Basically the sing-along car 2.0
  • Runner and Luz are the dynamic duo of smartassery
  • Which then makes Lipton the long-suffering parent in the passenger seat
  • The car with the most snacks??
  • Rudy’s made a bunch of snacks specifically for their car <3 
  • Current playlist consists of: the Record Company, the Spice Girls, Kate Bush, Phish, Smashmouth, the Pixies, Tame Impala, New Order, Tears for Fears, Lene Lovich, Queen, Billy Squier

Car #5 - Sass Car

  • Speirs insists on driving for as long as humanly possible (idk???)
  • Everyone’s listening to Speirs’ music because no one wants to interrupt his jam session and piss him off
  • Blues rock for days
  • More or less the quiet car 
  • Phillips and Sledge swapping stories in the back
  • Snafu being laconic and smartass as fuck
  • Current playlist consists of: PJ Harvey, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Zack Lopez, Death Cab for Cutie, Radio Moscow, Romeo Void, Nine Inch Nails, Blue Oyster Cult, Middle Class Rut, Queensryche, Led Zeppelin

ALSO EVERY CAR WINDS UP SINGING BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER

Pls add on so I’m not the only contributing k thanx

STEVEN UNIVERSE SENTENCE STARTERS
  • I can’t believe you did this. I’m gonna save these forever! Right after I eat this one.
  • Ah, it’s fading! How do I make it come back?!
  • Yeah, and try not to poop yourself either.
  • Look at the size of it! I had no idea these things were so big!
  • We saw. Some of us are trying to protect humanity! Where were you?
  • I’m just sayin’! Even if she did leave it with him, he probably broke it, or lost it, or dropped it in the ocean somehow.
  • You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the whole country.
  • S'okay, buddy. If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs!
  • You can carry it in your hamburger.
  • I wanted all of us to have breakfast together. So I made together breakfast,  but everyone keeps leaving.
  • I didn’t want this! I just wanted to eat together like, like best buds!
  • That’s… enough! I… don’t care if you… are the most important meal of the day!
  • I made you to bring us together… not to tear us apart!
  • No. Have you seen my pants?
  • I wish there was a way for this costume to do its job without me in it!
  • This seahorse used to make me so happy. Now it’s just giving me whiplash
  • I feel like there’s just no point to it, y-y'know what I mean?
  • I’m paid in the smiles across the town’s faces.
  • Well, of course I can! I’m perfect!
  • Wait! I wanna help solve the mystery!
  • Nope. No, no, no, no, you two are a disaster waiting to happen.
  • But this could be the teacups all over again!
  • WAAAAIT!!! Ah!! Wait, you guys! What if this is just like the teacups? That’s why we’re getting so lost… That’s why I’m feeling so sick! All the rooms are spinning us around so we end up here!
  • How could you possibly think punching a blood polyp was a good idea?! Look at all the gunk you got on me!
  • Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.
  • W-well, which one of these buttons is my turn signal?
  • Vroom vroom, kill the road!
  • I certainly hope that’s not the attitude you have during battle.
  • That’s perfect because I don’t want go with grammatically incorrect people anyway.
  • I just can’t believe you guys are like a bazillion years old! How do you find a cake big enough for all that many candles?
  • Which way to the baby war?
  • EAT TREAD, DIRTBAGS!
  • You have to feel like yourself! Sweet and considerate and only occasionally obnoxious!
  • You want to get a fresh pizza right out of the oven, but you don’t want to seem too desperate, right? Well, there’s no need to be ashamed. Just walk right in and ask. That’s what I always do. 
Teenage Dirtbag (Baby)

This is for @pies-cakes-and-gays because sometimes I keep promises.

A bit angsty, I’m sorry

——-

Ann was… Well… He was…

He was not important, that was for sure.

Always with his black hoodie and hair over his face and extremely closed up personality, he didn’t know many people, he had one friend, and he was basically the least person in the entire school. And that would be fine for him, honestly, if it wasn’t for one single problem:

He had fallen in love with Roman, the most popular boy in the school. And not only the most popular boy in the school, but also the one that dated the biggest and most handsome guy in the school, the quarterback of their football team.

Like what chance someone like Ann would have with someone that dated a quarterback?

And yet, there he found himself, staring with wide eyes under his fringe while Roman walked past him after his boyfriend had hit his bike with his car. Or smiling as he saw Roman coming to his direction in the hallway, only to be pushed by his big boyfriend on the ground. Or blushing when he caught his stare in the cafeteria.

“Why don’t you go talk to him?” Logan, his best friend, said once, clearly annoyed by his little affection demonstrations. Ann groaned, looking down at the floor. “Look. Prom night is coming. You should ask him”

“Are you going to ask Morgan?” he asked, bitterly, and that shut up the other immediately. Ann looked up again, biting his bottom lip as he saw Roman giving him a quick glance from all the way down the cafeteria.

He was probably looking at someone else. Roman couldn’t possible know who Ann was. But still, he liked to think that those glances were for him. Because why not? He wasn’t harming anyone.

Then, prom night came, and he had no one to dance with. He was sitting down, looking at the table, hair messy, suit bothering him, everything hell. He looked at his side and smiled shyly as he saw Logan and Morgan dancing. At least someone had been lucky. He turned his head forward again and he froze, eyes wide.

Through the crowd, Roman was walking to him, looking shy but decided, and Ann turned around all the way, checking if his boyfriend was anywhere near. No. He was nowhere. He felt his heart speeding it’s beat and his hand shake and looked up again, Roman stopping next to him, smiling.

“Hey.” He said, and Ann couldn’t even answer, a knot on his throat. “I heard you like My Chemical Romance. Would you like to… I don’t know… Go on their show with me this Friday?” he asked, and then pulled out of his pocket two tickets for the concert. Ann’s eyes widened and he was then pulled up by Roman, gently, while the tickets were forgotten on the table.

“I-I…” he mumbled, shakily, and Roman smiled shyly, pulling him for a dance. Ann swallowed his awkwardness up and wrapped his arms around Roman’s waist, slowly starting to dance with him, losing himself in the boy’s eyes.

They danced, slowly, close, and Ann couldn’t believe it. It could only be a dream. And as Roman started to lean down, their faces so close, noses almost touching, he felt something tugging on his shoulder and groaned.

When he opened his eyes, he was on a couch, with Logan staring down at him, confused.

“Come on, Ann. You have been sleeping for two hours and you need to get ready for prom night” he said, before rolling his eyes and walking away. “I don’t understand why I promise these things to you”

Ann looked up at the ceiling and sighed, closing his eyes, begging to fall asleep again. It had seemed so real… They had been so close…

But someone like Roman would never want him unless it was a dream.

He should  have realized it sooner.

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