Headcannons for Ian and the reader having a toddler?
He has probably researched for all the things regarding taking care of a toddler. So in the beginning it would be rather frustrating for you because you’d be the only one who knows what to do.
“How do I make him stop crying?!” “Hold him and rock him.” “What.” “It’s not rocket science, Ian.”
He’d be very careful in holding the baby until he gets used to the feeling. Afterwards, you’d have to pry the kid off of him; he won’t let go that easily.
He always gives him piggy back rides (when the kid gets slightly bigger) and holds him on his shoulders cause your kid loves it.
The type of dad who’d be rather patient when feeding the baby and would use ‘Here comes the airplane’ to get him to open his mouth. He’d only lose his marbles when the baby starts making a mess out of himself and his surroundings—he won’t have any idea what to do at that, so he’ll call you to clean the mess.
Makes sure to tuck the baby in before going to sleep.
He adoooores talking to the baby—to the point of frustrating you. He’d tell him the most meaningless of things and he’s the one that tells the story at night.
“Ian, stop trying to make our baby an astronaut…” “But [naaaaame]!”
“And you see? This is why we hate Leafy, because he is—“ “Ian!” “…not a nice person.”
He’d make the baby laugh with his gay retard accent.
He probably loves filming your kid do stupid stuff around the house, so casual-like.
He’d be very proud of the toddler’s first steps and keeps on being very encouraging.
Let’s the baby sleep on his chest while watching TV on the couch. You find them both asleep later and make sure to take a couple of pictures.
He honestly doesn’t mind if your kid breaks something or starts drawing on the walls. He’d only enjoy your kid’s happiness and cute giggle—that is until you get home. His whole hair will stand on edge when he suddenly hears “IAAAAAAAAAN!!”
He’d be careful to not let the kid put foreign stuff in his mouth. He won’t hear the end of it.
His reaction to the baby’s first words is pure happiness and excitement. He’d regret not having his camera on him to film it.
“[name]! Come here, he said his first word!” You’d obviously be rather disappointed that you weren’t there to hear it, but if he was happy, then you were too. “What did he say?” “He said ‘lablab’.” “…That’s not even a word, Ian.” To prove you wrong, he’d Google it. “It is! It’s a tropical Asian plant of the pea family!” “Ian, I highly doubt our child has Asian ancestors or has spent enough time around Joji to know what that is…”
You better keep your kid away from the Rocket team, Max and Joji. Whenever they came over, they’d try to teach your innocent baby naughty words, just to annoy you. The worst part was that the kid loved Ian’s friends to death. Even Ian might join in their quest—after pretending to be an angel in front of you with “George, Max, please don’t use such foul language around my child”. When you’re gone: “Dude, let’s teach him how to say cunt.”
You’d chase them with a wooden spoon afterwards. And ban them from being near your child for less than five feet.
You’d secretly teach your baby to say ‘Daddy’ and he’d be soo happy when he hears that the first word is ‘dad’. Maybe he’d even tear up a bit.
For Halloween, you’d be Princess Peach, Ian is Luigi and your kid’s a mushroom. Totally Ian’s idea because he can’t get enough of that costume.
You lowkey adore when your kid so heartily laughs whenever Ian calls out for ‘Meriou’.
Ian would buy your kid loads of toys (or just give him the ones he used in videos).
He surely isn’t the one that wakes up in the middle of the night because your baby’s crying. He’s a very grumpy sleeper so you’ve got no choice, sorry. Unless you’d be really tired from a hard day.
Misses sex the most and he knows he can’t do it when the kid might interrupt. You tried once; didn’t end up well.
He’d take you on a lot of outdoor trips.
Regarding changing diapers: he’d do it since he did a lot more disgusting stuff than that so he doesn’t mind. But only if you ask him to do so cause he’s too lazy.
Lots of family photos with each important step.
He introduces the baby to dogs; the dogs love the kid to death and viceversa.