Humans are Space Orcs

Yet another addition…Teething. Babies, specifically.

“Human Veronica, your offspring is attempting to eat his toys.”

“Hm, oh, nah. He’s fine. He’s just teething. It’s normal.”

“Tee-thing? I do not understand.”

“Oh, well,” show baby’s mouth, “we aren’t born with teeth. They grow in when we’re babies. Babies like to chew on things when they teeth.”

“To sharpen them?”

“Uh, no. Not exactly. It’s just…something they do? The teeth have to cut through the mouth tissue after all.”

“Your bodies cut through themselves?”
Horrified alien.

“Pfft, you think that’s bad? Our skulls aren’t fully formed when we’re babies. They fuse together .”


Lee Jong-rak is the South Korean pastor who created the “Baby Box”. The idea is that mothers who do not want their babies can leave them inside the box which includes a thick towel and lights and heating to keep the baby warm. When a baby is placed inside the box, a bell rings in Lee Jon-rak’s home which the box is attached to, and he or a member of his staff will go and collect the unwanted baby and bring them inside to his orphanage. Hundreds of babies are left abandoned at the side of the road in South Korea yearly and Jong-rak knew the perfect way to save the lives of these innocent babies. There is a sign above the drop box which reads: “Please do not abandon babies (just anywhere)… Pull the handle, and leave the baby (inside)… ” He confessed that he didn’t expect the box to be as popular as it has been. On one occasion a mother dropping her baby off explained to him that she had poison to kill herself and her baby but because of this box, she had an alternative. On another occasion, a baby was left with this heart wrenching note:

“My baby! Mom is so sorry. I am so sorry to make this decision. My son! I hope you to meet great parents, and I am very, very sorry . I don’t deserve to say a word. Sorry, sorry, and I love you my son. Mom loves you more than anything else. I leave you here because I don’t know who your father is. I used to think about something bad, but I guess this box is safer for you.That’s why I decided to leave you here. My son, Please forgive me.”

They’re in the middle of research when Human Jane stands to get some coffee. An addictive substance that nearly all Humans drink. That in and of itself confuses Xon’a, but he ignores it now. The Human Guide book had been very helpful in understanding the humans love for things that are bad for their health.

Only when he looks up, he freezes. On her bottom is a red stain.

He jerks into a standing position and knocks over his book. Human Jane turns around with surprise.

“H-Human Jane! You are bleeding!” She frowns and looks down at her arms. “No-no, your bottom! We need to get you to medical!”

Suddenly her cheeks turn very, very red. And then she laughs as Xon’a pushes a chair out of the way to get to her.

“No, I’ll be fine, I just need to go change. Sorry about that,” she puts the coffee down but Xon’a picks her up.

“You are dying, Human Jane, you need medical!” She lets out a squwak, and shakes her head.

“No no! I just have my period, all women get it! It’s totally normal for humans!” Xon’a puts human Jane down and stares at her with narrowed slits.

“…Normal? What is a Period? I thought it went at the end of your sentences?” She started to laugh, cheeks still blushing.

“Periods are our menstruation. We get it once a month. Our bodies prepare every month for a baby, but when theres no baby, the lining of our uterus sheds and the blood is pushed out of our bodies. I usually get mine for 7 days.” Xon’a stares in horror at his human friend.

“T-that is not normal. Y-your insides shed? Like molting?” Human Jane grins.

“Totally is, some women get cramps, other people it hurts a lot. For me I usually just get cramps on the last few days. But we use pads, tampons, and cups to hold the blood until it’s over. I just must have forgotten to change my pad this morning.”

Xon’a takes a step back and looks down at the chair, stained with a small puddle.

“That is a lot of your life blood. I think you are ill!” He says. Human Jane laughs again.

“That? That’s pretty light for the first day. Don’t worry, this is nothing! If only you saw childbirth!” He blinks again, his slitted eyes narrowing.

“Birth?” Human Jane blinks.

“You guys create your babies out of spores, right? Well, ours grow in our bellies. Then we push them out of our vaginas. Sometimes, we have to get cut open to get the baby taken out.” Xon’a lets out a horrified squall and jerks back.

“W-why do you continue? H-how are there so many of you?” Human vagina’s were small, and he’d seen a pink skinned baby before, and a brown one, but they were both so large! Both babies heads were incredibly large! How in the Gods names could they have squeezed a babe out of a small hole like that? And getting cut open? Human Illa had said childbirth was wonderful!

Human Jane shrugs. “My grandmother had eleven children. All natural. She said childbirth was beautiful. I think it’s more the whole, holding the baby afterwards that is beautiful. My mom only had two. When my brother and I did something stupid she’d say that she didn’t suffer through eight hours of childbirth to give birth to two dumbasses.”

Xan’a began to breath rapidly, and looked at human Jane.

“The rumors are true: Humans truly are terrifying creatures.”

Human Jane frowned and cocked her head. “I mean, it’s not that crazy. We’ve been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years.”

Xan’a sits and closes his slitted eyes and inhales deeply.

Now he understands why his father told him to befriend the humans, but never cross one. Who would willingly have children over and over again just to be ripped open or cut open when there was plenty of children already among the five planets they currently inhabit?

Humans are terrifying.

BTS reaction: their child’s first word being appa


Originally posted by rapdaegu

You were all in the kitchen together; you were feeding the baby, Jin was sitting at the table, just watching. It wasn’t going too well, the little one was spitting out the food, smearing it all over the table. The baby was making an absolute mess and you were already pretty frustrated.
Suddenly, the baby also started to cry, it cried out “appa!!!” and sobbed. Jin immediately stood up and  went to take his baby into his arms. He smiled widely, looking at you.
“Did you hear? Did you hear that? He felt really happy! He looked back at the baby in his arms, who had since calmed down, only some tears still running down its face. Jin tried to feed the little one once again, and this time, it did eat.


Originally posted by cyyphr

Babies were supposed to stop crying every few hours during night time, but for some reason, his nine month old baby was now, at point 4 o'clock, crying loudly. He hadn’t actually woken up at first, it was you who had to wake him and remind him that it was his turn.
Now he stood there, next to her little bed, grumpily. He glared at the little angel, who was still sobbing even as it looked at him.
“Alright, what do you need..?” He said in a sleepy voice, rubbing his eyes. The baby reached its tiny arms towards him, “appa, appa!” It squealed. Yoongi smiled, all tiredness suddenly washed away. As much as he wanted to go back to sleep, hearing his baby talk, and hearing “appa” be its first word made him happy, made him feel giddy. He took the baby into his arms, feeling all warm inside now, and held the little one close, rocking its body back and forth.
You found him the next morning, sleeping in a chair in the kid’s room, with the baby still in his arms.


Originally posted by chimcheroo

He was writing some stuff down, lyrics for a possible future song. The baby was sitting in between his legs, giggling at how funny Namjoon looked. Namjoon would quietly mumble the words to himself, the baby trying to repeat those words, but failing miserably. Every word of gibberish his child said made Namjoon very happy, and he found it so adorable! He decided to take a small break and put the sheet of paper on the table. He was stretching, yawning in the process, but something made him stop and freeze midway – the baby suddenly, on its own, said “appa”. Namjoon took his arms back down, to his child, hugging the baby. He called you over, so you could hear and experience your child’s first time speaking proper words as well. This special moment not only made him tear up and insanely proud, but it also gave him motivation and inspiration for his work.


Originally posted by myloveseokjin

He would be the happiest person on this planet. He was just sitting in the living room, on the couch, with his little baby in his arms, when the baby suddenly started ‘talking’. At first it was just some kind of gibberish, but then it said, mostly clearly, “Appa” And Hoseok immediately showed a big smile. With the baby still held tightly in his arms, he ran towards you, encouraging your 8 month old little sunshine to “please say it again, just once more, for mummy” He was seriously over the moon and beaming with happiness because of it.


Originally posted by bangtanroyalty

You were sitting with him in the living room. He was just watching TV, but you were busy with the baby, playing with it.
“Come on, say mummy, you can do it!” You tried to encourage the child, Jimin insisting that the little one was too young to talk already.
“Mu-mmy.” You kept trying, but the baby didn’t want any of that. You were about to give up when it said “Appa!” Jimin looked at you two and started laughing. He did move closer to you, to not miss any further development on this, but he thought that it was too cute and too funny that the baby had said appa instead of what you were trying to teach it.


Originally posted by bangtanroyalty

He was out grocery shopping when it happened. He picked up an item of food and leaned down, over his baby, saying in a cute voice: “Yes, let’s get this too, for mummy, hm? Mummy loves this!” He poked the baby’s nose, at which the little one giggled and said “Appa!”. At first he just stared at the baby, a bit shocked, as it had never pronounced any words clearly before, but a moment later he caught himself, and smiled lovingly at the baby. He kissed his child’s cheek, and immediately called you, to tell you about this. He even tried to play with the baby until it would repeat the word, he felt so proud in this moment.


Originally posted by baebsaes

He was on tour, and you missed him dearly, so you decided to skype with him one day. Your baby, which was around 6 months now, leaned against your chest.
When Jungkook accepted the skype call, and saw his baby, his face immediately lit up. He made a cute, silly face at it and, in a cute voice, said “Hello!” He also greeted you, and you talked for a bit, before your baby reached out with its little arm, putting its hand on the screen, where Jungkook’s face was, and said in a weak voice “appa”. The baby started to cry, wanting to be held by Jungkook. When Jungkook saw his baby’s actions and heard it say its first word, he teared up, starting to cry as well. He missed out on so much while he was away on tour. If he wasn’t so busy, he would have had the time to be an actual dad, to hold his child, hear his child’s first word in person… but he was away and missed out on it all.

~Admin Min Holypuff my first work on this blog yeey

Where do Mimic's come from?

We had just managed to defeat a Mimic when my good friend and i got into this conversation with a new member to our party. A very 'innocent’ person really, and a very annoyed DM in the end.

Damien (innocent person (bard) “You know, i was always thinking. Where do Mimics come from?”
Rogue (me) Well, when a mommy mimic wants a baby, she starts eating all of the treasure she can.

Warlock (David) and then she settles in a cave to let the gems form a baby inside of her.

Me: like a clam with a pearl.

David: and when the pearl is formed, ‘mommy’ mimic births the baby mimic.

me: and when the baby mimic sees the world for the first time, it looks up to it’s mommy and the world around itself in awe.

David: Seeing her baby hungry, ‘mommy mimic’ then feeds her baby to give it strength to survive.

me: Having eaten more gold and gems than she needs, she throws up a bunch of it into the baby mimic’s mouth, giving it the needed substance to survive without her.

David: Like with birds.


me: We are answering a question asked from one member to another in character.

Dave: yah!

me: you know my character can’t pass up a moment like this to go off like that.

Dave: and i don’t know either so i just went along with it.

DM:…alright, no more mimics…so no more 'epic’ items.
me and David: AWWW!!!! Common! That is just mean!

note she either forgot the next day we played, or just did not care.

bts getting excited over a cute baby, and when jimin HELD THE BABIES HAND 😤

headcanons for doug judy and jake and amy’s baby
  • Jake most def tells Doug Judy when he finds out he’s gonna be a father
  • Doug sends Jake and Amy baby gifts when the baby arrives
  • “Maybe Doug Judy can babysit some time-” “no
  • Little Baby Peraltiago usually calls him “Uncle Judy” but calls him “Uncle Bandit” once and Jake can’t stop laughing
  • Amy is at first reluctant to have her baby around a criminal but Doug eventually grows on her (especially when she remembers the Cruise)
  • “I could teach the baby how to drive. How to jack a car. How to evade the po-po-” “no
  • Doug buys them a getaway for a week for the three of them
  • “You should name the baby Doug” “Hmm, maybe” “WAIT. Middle-name the baby Pontiac Bandit” *cue Jake turning to Amy excitedly*
  •  Almost all the toys Doug sends are toy pontiacs
  • Doug and Jake invent a lullaby to sing to the baby and it’s one of the only things that get them to sleep
  • When Jake has his Holy-Fuck-I’m-Gonna-Be-A-Father-For-A-Baby freakout, Doug Judy smacks sense into him
  • When Amy has her I-Can’t-Be-A-Mother freakout, he calmly tells her that she’s up there with his mom for great maternal figures, and he’s positive that the baby won’t be a criminal, because he won’t let them, and neither will jake or amy. 
  • (Their second baby’s middle name is Douglas) ((Maya Douglas Santiago-Peralta)

because you basically put the idea in my head this one’s for you @permanentguitar


  • you’d come home from the hospital completely exhausted yet so so happy. Shawn would be radiating happiness and helping you with the smallest things. “Shawn I can raise my own arm.” He’d fuss over you endlessly, he’d been present during the birth and he was so in awe of you. “You deserve to be coddled my love.” 
  • When the baby would scream at night he’d trip over the foot of the bed to get to the nursery before you. Hair sticking out into all directions he’d stumble to the crib and bring the baby to you so you could nurse it. He’d mumble lullabies, kissing the baby hair and running a gentle finger down your arm.
  • He’d consider himself an expert in all things babies so when your baby did something that wasn’t in the textbook he’d get so freaked out. The baby would be lying on it’s stomach, crying. “Stop doing that little flower. Please stop. Oh god I made it worse. Talk to me little one how do I make you stop?”
  • He’d lie down on the floor facing his baby, trying to crack Baby Language. When the baby only made a spit bubble he’d let out a groan letting his head drop. “You gotta cooperate.” and suddenly he’d feel little fingers tangling in his hair and a gurgled laugh. Shawn would look up, eyes so wide they were threatening to pop out of his head. He’d run towards you while carefully holding the baby and he’d try to tell you what happened but he’d be too excited so he would simply bend down and let the baby grab his hair again and sure enough the little thing gurgled happily again. 
  • You’d often find him lying on the couch, shirtless, baby sleeping on his chest. You’d walk into the room and look at your two favourite people sleeping on the large comfy couch. 
  • You’d catch him looking at your sleeping baby so many times, he’d always be humming some kind of melody and he’d be making sure the blanket was covering the baby properly. The baby would grab his finger during it’s sleep and Shawn would suck in a deep breath and refuse to move from his spot. When an hour later he still wasn’t in bed you’d come check on him only to find him in the exact same position he’d been in. So you bring him a chair and he barely notices it until you gently push him into the chair. And then he’d look up at you with wide wide eyes and whisper “I love you.” before leaning up slightly and waiting for you to kiss him. 


  • Shawn had thought that the most stressful part would be having a newborn. He was wrong. This was way more stressful; having a four year old girl with bouncy chocolate curls and wide wide hazel eyes who wanted an explanation to everything was far more stressful. She still curled her little fist around his finger only now she did it to drag him around everywhere. She always pointed out everything and when he explained her something her mouth would go wide and she’d stare at him like he knew all the  secrets of the universe. He did enjoy that. 
  • When his little flower had nightmares she’d scream for her dad and Shawn would get up immediately, he’d hit his head against the cloud shaped lamp as he came running into her room. He’d whisper to her and ask her what she dreamed about and she’d hiccup between sobs and his heart would crack with every sob. He’d hold her close and he’d stroke her head and whisper the same melody he always sang to her. Her little hand would reach up and grab onto his hair and she’d slowly fall asleep, lulled by his voice. He’d stay with her all night and in the morning he’d make pancakes for her. 
  • When she fell on the playground for the first time and burst into tears while holding her knee, he’d rush to her probably more freaked out than he should be. But all he saw was that his little girl was hurt and crying. How could he put a smile on his little angel’s face? How could he make her world right again? He’d pull out the first aid kit and he’d try to be funny for her. He asked her which Disney princess she wanted on her band aid. She’d sniffle and whisper Mulan. He’d smile and put the bandaid on before kissing her owie and saying it would be all healed now. 
  • They’d play games, he would blow raspberries on her stomach and she would giggle her wonderful little girl giggle and Shawn would beam at you. They would play tag and sometimes Shawn would let her win but other times he would wrap his arms around his little princess and she’d squeak in delight and you’d smile at your two goofballs. 


  • His little princess was a big handful. She loved running around him in circles yelling her favourite word of the week. 
  • When she’d baked her first batch of cookies and had proudly presented them to her dad Shawn had been filled with pride. Yes my little girl did this. Then he tried one, the sandy texture and sour taste making it difficult to swallow but he ate all of them. 
  • When she’d first gone to school he’d been all teary eyed, he still saw a little pumpkin that needed to be protected at all costs. 
  • Shawn had learned how to make braids and pony tails and space buns and all kinds of hairdos and everyone at school envied her because she always had the best scrunchies and the coolest hairdos. 
  • Shawn still sang that melody to her when she had trouble falling asleep. When you came in to check on them you’d find him gently brushing her hair back from her face as she was sleeping, hand tightly holding onto his  fingers. He’d look at you and whisper “I still love you like I did back then.”
Imagine Being Pregnant With Dean’s Child

Originally posted by abigayle12000

Request: I just discovered your blog and I’m like in love! Any chance you could write a one shot, or imagine, where dean’s girlfriend gets pregnant accidentally and they’re both unsure about it at first, but then it turns out to be a really good thing. Bonus points if she’s pregnant with two or more children. And maybe Dean even finds it to be a little bit of a turn on, like he loves her huge stomach and the fact that they’ve made a life (or lives) together. No worries if you can’t, still love the blog! - Anonymous

Author’s Note: Aw, thank you anon! I hope you all like it! Any time I get to write one of the boys are a dad, it makes me so happy. Someone give Dean and Sam a baby that won’t be taken away from them. I can’t handle a Ben situation again.

You could take on the alpha of every monster you encountered and then Lucifer himself and still have more energy than you do at being six months pregnant. That wasn’t even the worst part, that combined with swollen feet, an uncontrolled heartburn and having the most tender boobs that every time you crossed your arms over your chest your cried; pregnancy was going to kill you.

Dean was watching you take your time waddling down The Bunker hallway, with a hand on your belly. “Are you okay?” he chuckled.

“I’m exhausted and everything hurts,” you whined.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Dean whispered, pulling you into his arms when you got closer.

When you told Dean you were pregnant, he was ecstatic and it seemed like his love for you grew bigger. When your stomach grew larger with your child, Dean would constantly rub your stomach and talk to the baby. Sometimes when the baby was kicking up a storm and trying to bruise your organs, Dean would sing softly to your belly, helping the baby calm down so you could get some sleep.

You gasped as you felt the baby attach your organs again with its feet. You grabbed Dean’s hand and placed it where the baby was kicking so he could feel it too. Dean pressed a kissed behind your ear and trailed his lips to your jaw.

“This is so weird,” you giggled as Dean’s mouth got closer to yours.

“How?” Dean whispered, “it’s sexy knowing that we created life.”

You scrunched up your face. “That’s not sexy. Being pregnant isn’t sexy. I feel like a bloated balloon.”

“Even if you were a balloon, I’d fine you sexy as hell and I’d love every minute of it,” Dean said.

You rolled your eyes and kissed him. You hated being pregnant with every fiber of your being but somehow Dean found it amazing. You were going to give him the greatest gift anyone could ever be given, you were going to give him a child.

Dean pulled away and helped you into the kitchen where Sam was making dinner. Cas was with you three like normal, sitting next to you.

“Are you sure you still don’t want to know the sex of the child?” Cas asked.

“Positive, Cas,” You answered him. “We want to be surprised.”

“Well,” Cas murmured, placing a hand on your stomach. “You at least need to know the one thing the doctor missed?”

“And what’s that?” Dean asked him.

“You’re pregnant with twins.”

Things that they should include in season 3
*Give haught a car.
*15 min camera zoom in of waverlys abs.
*Nicole’s apartment.
*All of them fighting over who gets to hold the baby next.
*Wayhaught workout scene.
*At some point someone will loose the earp baby
*And then Jeremy will just come out holding the baby
*Doc fainting when the baby comes out
*15 min zoom in of waverlys and Nicole’s arms

*A succubus coming after Nicole
BTS - you fainting.

Request: Could you do a reaction of the bts boys reacting to you fainting at the gym or something along the lines of that? Please and thank you ~ ps your writing is the best !! 

thank youuu sweet! 


You two were in the gym, just like every day. You were not feeling very well, but kept doing. Out of nowhere everything went black and you were no longer consicent.
“BABY?!” He ran to you. “Shit.” He picked you up and ran to the infirmary.
“What happened? Is she okay? Will she wake up?” “Of course she will, don’t worry. It was just a pressure drop, she’ll wake up soon.”


You went to the studio because you weren’t feeling well at home, you went in there and saw your boyfriend smiling at you. “Yoongi, I don’t …” You fainted.
He didn’t know what to do other than despair, but he had to remain calm. He picked you up and put you in the car, taking you to the hospital.
A few hours later, you woke up and he was at your side watching you.
“Hi …” He said smiling. “How are you?” “I don’t know…what happened?” “You passed out, but it’s everything okay now.”


You were waiting for Hobi to get home to eat. You haven’t eaten all day, but you thought it would be all right. But no, it definitely didn’t go well.
You fainted before he even came.
He opened the door and saw you on the floor, he went crazy. He took you to the hospital in minutes. The doctor said it was because you were not feeding yourself right, which made him even madder.
When you woke up, you looked around and saw your boyfriend with a strange look to you.
“What?” “Why you didn’t eat?” “I was waiting for you.” “Don’t you ever do that again!” You scared me, and now you’re going to eat well every day, I don’t want you to get sick.


You weren’t eating well for days, you wanted to lose weight fast. You and your boyfriend, Namjoon, were workout together every day. And today you were weaker than ever, but you still went to the gym. When you started, you fainted in a few minutes.
He took you to the hospital and after a bit of exams, he waited for you to wake up.
“Hey.” You said waking up. “Hey, princess, how are you feeling?” “Weak, but well.” “Baby, why don’t you eating right?” “I have to lose weight.” “No, you don’t have to. Look at me, I eat every day and I still have my muscles.” He started showing you, making you laugh. “You don’t have to stop eating to lose weight or something, and you’re beautiful anyway, your weight doesn’t change anything.”


You were in the dorm with him and the boys, you have very bad cramps and you were crying in pain. Jimin didn’t know what else to do. And out of nowhere, your vision went dark and you fell to the ground.

“OH MY GOD SHE FAINTED!” He screamed and picked you up. “JIN HYUNG! HELP ME!” He started crying.
“Oh my god! I’m going to call the ambulance, stay with her and calm down.”

After long minutes and maybe hours, you woke up. “Jimin …” You called and he came to you quickly. “Baby, are you okay?” “Yes, I am.Why are you crying?” “I was so worried!” “Everything is fine now, relax.” “I love you so much.” He took your hand. “And I love you more.”


He picked up his phone and saw that he had four missed calls from your best friend. He called her back, worried. “(Y / f / n), hi! What happened?” “(Y / n) is in the hospital.” “WHAT?” “Yes, she fainted and had to go there, she woke up and is mad at you because you didn’t answer my calls, anyway, I’ll send you the address and you’ll see her.” “Shit, alright.”


You see the door of the hospital room opening and your boyfriend appears smirking.

“Hi, my love, I’m sorry I didn’t answer the calls, how are you? "I wanted to be mad at you, but I just can’t.Then come here, Taetae.Give me a hug, I need it.”


He was at rehearsal when he received a call from your mother saying that you were in the hospital. Instantly he came to you. He entered the room and saw you lying on the bed. “Hi baby, how are you?” “Kookie! How did you know I’m here?” “Your mother called me.” You were afraid of fainting again, you were afraid of everything involving hospital. “You will stay with me?” “Of course I will. I’ll stay here with you until you leave, little princess.” “Why do you always treat me like a baby when I’m sick?” “Because you’re a baby.”

requests are open! feel free to ask.