My cat died yesterday.
For nearly thirteen years, he was my baby and my best friend and I am so incredibly heartbroken that he is gone. His bravery and buoyant personality masked the gravity of his condition until the very end. In the last twenty-four hours of his life, we learned that his heart, which was so big and loving and strong, was afflicted by a tumor, and that that cancer was spreading and metastasizing to his other organs. In a small act of mercy, we were allowed time with him before the end. I was given time to explain how happy he made me. Time to pet him while he purred. Time to kiss the silky fur beneath his ears once more. Time to tell him just how much I love him (present tense, always present tense).
I don’t know how to be anything but devastated. I don’t know how the aching hole he left in my own heart will ever heal. I don’t know many things; but I do know that he was loved and cherished and he lived a good life–spoiled and doted on, treasured. I do know that he was happy. I do know that he suffered very little. I do know that he loved me. I do know.
In the spirit of maintaining normalcy as, perhaps, a way to begin to heal, I am going to continue trying to keep up with my daily #GradblrChallenge posts. But I apologize in advance if I miss a day, or do not interact as much, or if I am less enthusiastic. I’ve so enjoyed being a part of this community for the last few weeks and the accountability is valuable. I do hope to continue–but if I don’t or can’t, my sincerest gratitude to everyone who I’ve interacted with. (Cc: @gradblrchallenge)