me:a advertising: you guys get to bang so many aliens guys like if you see an alien you can just fuck it!!! smooch all the alien babes uwu this is the most banging we’ve ever done like you can romance a pyjak its so insane!! we’ll bang ok!!!!
the actual game: five (5) human romances, one (1) asari, one (1) turian, one (1) angara
it’s been said a million times before but how is it that months after bryke confirmed that korra and asami are bisexual people still insist on saying otherwise over and over
like i understand if you didn’t know about the confirmation but still calling them “lesbian babes uwu” and pretending makorra never happened is pretty much the same thing as insisting they’re straight and pretending korrasami never happened no matter what distorted angle you’re looking at it’s still erasure
me, a philosopher:(writes a fucking 500,000 word paper on good, on page 300 having actually concluded my definition of good, before moving on to an incredibly vague and unsatisfying conclusion) i know you couldn’t have known you were that uninformed. take a fucking sip babes uwu
I never get hamiliton fans who say like hamiliton is basically an au of the real life founding fathers like that makes it any better? Like who the fuck thought let’s turn slave owners into cute uwu drama babes
1. Watch the Legacy Eddisodes (dont think about the old ones, theyre “bad”)
2. uwu Tomtord is relationship goals uwu. so SINFUL!! uwah my gay babies!
3. comment “RIP Edd” on ANY eddsworld video/art
4. Attack pobular artists
5.Follow bad ask blogs.
6. “trans tom uwu” “curvy babe”
7. Attack more artists.
8. Tomtord is… bad???? attack artists.
9. Ask artists who left the fandom if they will draw ew
10. Get involved in discourse. Attack more artists and their friends.
11. Leave the fandom, toxic.
Fandom: Real people/actor?? Pairing: Grant Gustin X Reader Word Count: 4,105 (honestly I’ve given up trying to make things short) Prompt: Preferably one where reader is an actress in her first ever movie and playing Grant’s love interest asdfghjkl please for queerbastian (her fics are lovely by the way, you should definitely go check them out!!), I hope you like it, dear!! Author’s Note: We’re just gonna pretend that Grant doesn’t have a girlfriend in this, even though in real life, he does.
“Hi.” You greeted, already a little bit breathless. “I’m a huge fan.” You said, and even though it was directed at Grant, you looked at the casting director and the producer of the movie to let them know that they were included in the statement. The casting director had worked on several of your favorite movies, as had the producer, and you were very impressed with their work.
Grant smiled and extended a hand for you to shake, which you took and shook eagerly before releasing it and turning towards the director. You handed her a few headshots and your resume with a shaky smile. It was your first time auditioning for a movie, you had a few guest appearances on television shows previously, but this was a whole new world for you. The only reason you got the chance to audition for this film was because the casting director was holding open auditions, but honestly, even if you didn’t get the part, you would be happy.
You had already gotten to meet your favorite actor, and if you never got to see him again after today, you would be surprisingly okay with that.
“I prepared a monologue,” You said, breaking the silence. “But I thought there might be something specific you wanted me to read first?”
The casting director shook her head with a reassuring smile. “Go ahead, sweetheart, when you're ready.”
You took a deep breath to soothe your nerves, tapping into the part of your brain that was meant for acting. When you felt you were properly in the zone, you started speaking.
“Gentlemen, I shall be brief, but I would like to use my remaining time with you to remind you that the case of Mayella Ewell vs. Tom Robinson is not a difficult one. To begin with, this case should have never come to trial. The state of Alabama has not produced one iota of medical evidence that shows that the crime Tom Robinson is charged with ever took place. This case is as simple as black and white.”
They all seemed surprised by your choice of monologue, you were auditioning for the lead female role in a romantic comedy, after all, but no one told you to stop, so you kept going. As you neared the end, you were speaking so passionately and so firmly that you felt like you really were Atticus Finch.
“I am confident that you gentlemen will review without passion the evidence you have heard, come to a decision, and restore the defendant to his family. In the name of God, do your duty. In the name of God, gentlemen, believe Tom Robinson.” Your last words trailed off in a hushed whisper, and after a moment of silence, you brought your gaze up to the three people seated at the table in front of you.
They were all looking at you in shock and awe.
“I’m just gonna say it,” The casting director said, smiling at you. “That was the best audition we’ve had today. By far.” She took a look at your resume and blinked in surprise. “You’ve only been acting professionally for two years?”
You nodded. “Yes, ma'am. I’ve been in theater since I was five or six, though. Acting has always been a huge part of my life.”
She stared at you thoughtfully before gesturing for Grant to stand up. “I want you two to do scene thirty.” Grant made his way around the table, two sheets of paper clenched in his hand. He handed one to you and kept the other for himself, offering you a small smile before you started skimming the paper.
“You can begin.” The casting director spoke again.
Grant started speaking, his voice low and urgent. “Listen, I know you’re pissed off at me, but now is not the time. There are god-knows-how-many zombies waiting right outside, and if we don’t get out of here soon, we’re gonna be their lunch.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “I’m not pissed off at you! I mean, yeah, I was a little upset that you apparently have a crush on my sister and in the ten years we’ve been friends you’ve never mentioned it, but-”
Grant’s character interrupted you, confusion heavy in his voice. “I don’t have a crush on your sister.”
You knitted your eyebrows together, trying to show that your character was just as confused as his was. “You don’t?”
He shook his head and took a step forwards, catching your chin between his thumb and forefinger and guiding your head up to look at him. “I like you.” And then Grant was craning his head down, and you were tilting your head up, when-
“Cut!” The casting director called out, and you hastily moved away from him. You were pleasantly surprised to see that he was breathing just as heavily as you were. “Well,” The woman spoke, her eyes flicking between you and Grant in amusement. “You certainly passed the chemistry test.”
You tried to fight the flush that was creeping onto your cheeks, but you knew that you were failing.
“We have a few more people to interview, but, between you and me, you’re in the lead right now.” She winked at you. “Keep an eye on your phone. You might just be getting a call from us in a couple days.”
You grinned at her and murmured thank you under your breath several times as you made your way over to the door, and your blush deepened when, because you weren’t looking at where you were going, you bumped into the doorframe. You waved at the casting director and the producer, and snuck one more glance at Grant before disappearing through the door.
“I like her.” Grant said after you had left, and the casting director and the producer shared a knowing look.
“We could tell.” The producer said teasingly, nudging a flustered Grant with her elbow.
“I liked her too.” The casting director said thoughtfully, but they all fell silent as the next candidate stepped into the room.
Half a dozen aspiring actresses later, and you were still in the lead by far. At the end of the day, when Grant knew with absolutely certainty that you were the best choice, he asked if he could tell you that you got the part.
With a meaningful smirk, the casting director gave him permission to do so.
To: __y/n__ __l/n__ Hey! Don’t know if you remember me, but this is Grant. Gustin, that is. Just wanted to let you know that you got the part! You’ll probably get a call from Miss Tibideaux tomorrow, but I wanted to be the first to welcome you to the ‘Love Bites’ family. :-D From: Grant
When you got a text from an unknown number, you almost fell off your bed when you saw who it was from. After a moment of trying not to hyperventilate, you finally managed to text him back.
To: GRANT FREAKIN’ GUSTIN <3333 It is taking all my willpower to not scream right now, oh my god. You have no idea. I can’t believe I got the part! I’m super excited to be working with you! Though, I have to ask, how’d you get my number? From: __y/n__
You hit send, still in a ridiculous amount of disbelief, and waited patiently for his response. It came less than a minute later, and you couldn’t help but grin to yourself when you read what he wrote.
To: __y/n__ I’m excited to be working with you too! And, ah, that’s a bit of a funny story. And by 'funny story’, I mean I totally snuck a peek at your resume and put your number in my phone. Don’t be mad? From: GRANT FREAKIN’ GUSTIN <3333
You couldn’t understand why he thought you’d be mad at him (a celebrity wanted your number, that was nothing other than a win for you!), but you typed out a quick response.
To: GRANT FREAKIN’ GUSTIN <3333 Not mad at all. Quite the opposite, in fact, I’m very flattered. I hate to cut our conversation short, but an aspiring actress needs her beauty sleep, so I’ll talk to you later! And I’ll see you soon! P.S. You’re a lot taller than I was expecting. From: __y/n__
Grant snorted at your reply, as if you needed any beauty sleep, you were already easily one of the prettiest women he had ever met, and he told you so (without really telling you so) in his text. He also changed your name in his phone, because __y/n__ __l/n__ was just too formal.
To: Aspiring Actress (aka __y/n__) Pst, as if you need beauty sleep. Regardless, sweet dreams! I’ll see you *hopefully* next week! P.S. I get that a lot. Maybe you’re just short. :-P From: Grant
Grant started to get ready for bed himself, he had a fan meet-up at a comic book store the next day, but paused when you texted him again.
To: Grant There are kissing scenes in this movie, aren’t there? GUESS WHO HAS TO BEND DOWN TO KISS SOMEONE? (Hint: not me!!) (Seriously though, it was awesome meeting you. Good night! ((: ) From: Aspiring Actress (aka __y/n__)
Grant didn’t have a good response to that one, there were at least five kissing scenes in the movie, if he remembered correctly, and there was going to end up being a lot of neck craning. Damn (in his mind though, he knew you would be totally worth any future neck pains). He plugged his phone in so it could charge overnight and slipped into his bed, and the last thought on his mind before he drifted to sleep was of the charming __h/c__-haired, __e/c__-eyed, aspiring actress.
When you woke up the next morning with a new text from Grant that read only 'Mornin’, shorty!’ with a stupid face that had the tongue sticking out, you knew that this was the start to a beautiful friendship.
It really was the start to a beautiful friendship. Filming Love Bites was quite the experience. Grant was amazing, as were all the other actors and actresses, but Grant was especially amazing. He was incredibly funny on set and always cracking jokes or making silly faces at you in the middle of intense scenes.
A month later, and even though you adored Grant, you had yet to film any of the kissing scenes. The director had told you that it was because your characters, Mollie and Peter, had been friends for years before the apocalypse began, and they wanted the kissing scenes to show just how long they had both been waiting for the kiss.
The very first kiss between Mollie and Peter was supposed to be very passionate and tinged with the fear that the two could die at any moment, but you and Grant needed to spend more time together before they thought you could reach that level of intimacy.
Another month of filming and tomfoolery went by before the director called you into her office.
“Grant, __y/n__, have a seat.” She said, not unkindly, gesturing at the two chairs in front of her desk. You both did as she asked, and after a moment of complete silence, you spoke.
“So, what’s up?” You asked warily.
The red-headed woman smiled at you. “I’m glad you asked. You and Grant are doing very well, and all your scenes are coming out incredibly, but we have a rather odd request.”
Grant looked over at you before bringing his gaze over to the director curiously. “Shoot. It can’t be that bad, can it?”
She chuckled. “I hope not. We think that you two are just about ready to film the scene where Mollie and Peter kiss for the first time, but before you can do that, we’d like to ask that Miss __l/n__ leave the set.”
Grant and yourself both opened your mouths to question her, but she spoke again before either of you could speak.
“Just for a week. Grant has some scenes he can film while you’re gone, and then we’ll do the same with Grant. We want this kiss to be as real as possible, and to get the intensity we require, we need to separate you two for a bit.”
“Does that include texting?” You questioned, and she nodded.
“I’m afraid it does. We want you both to have no contact with the other until it’s time for the scene. Are you both okay with that?”
You and Grant shared a look and a small smile before Grant nodded. “We are.”
She clapped her hands together. “Fantastic! Miss __l/n__, your week begins now, so you may leave the set.” The director gestured for you both to leave the room, and you did, following Grant reluctantly.
“Two weeks without you, man, that’s gonna suck.” You murmured, and Grant frowned as he gently slipped his hand into yours.
“Hey, c'mon, it’ll be fun! Won’t it be nice to not see my face every day?” Grant tried to cheer you up, but you shook your head.
“I like seeing your stupid face every day.” You grumbled.
“Think about it this way,” Grant said, halting his footsteps and turning to look at you fully. “When we get to see each other again, it’ll be time for the kissing scene. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been looking forward to that.”
He had been looking forward to it? What did that mean? Did he want to kiss you? Or was he just interested to know what kissing you was like? You had a dozen questions, but you couldn’t ask any of them before Grant was being called back onto the set.
“I’ve gotta go,” Grant said apologetically, giving your hand a quick squeeze before carefully pulling his hand away from yours and jogging over to the crew.
Right. Okay. You turned and made your way outside, to the parking lot, getting into your car with the faint frown still in place.
A week without work, and two weeks without Grant, that would be fun.
Was it fun? No. Not at all. Sure, you got to stay up late watching Parks and Recreation and sleep all day, but you missed Grant. In the two months that you had spent with him, he had easily become your best friend.
You worked together, of course, but you also texted each other almost constantly, went out to movies, restaurants, parties; anything that seemed even remotely interesting, you and Grant went to it together.
You weren’t sure if you were his, but he was definitely yours, and not being able to talk to your best friend sucked.
Your week passed, and you managed to not break and contact Grant, but then three days into Grant’s week, he called you.
“Grant,” You hissed, even though you really wanted to talk to him too. “You’re not allowed to do this.”
“I know.” He said, keeping his voice low. “But I miss your voice and I miss you laughing at my stupid jokes and I miss holding things above your head and making you jump to reach them and I miss working with you.” Grant was completely silent for a moment. “I just miss you.”
And god, you were pretty sure that he only saw you as a friend, but the words made your heart flutter pleasantly.
“I do too.” You spoke softly, smiling to yourself because that was pretty much all the confirmation you needed to know that you were his best friend too. “Only four more days, Grant. Come on, we spent twenty five years without each other, we can handle four more days apart.” You were trying to convince yourself more than you were trying to convince him, because honestly, you were dying to see his stupid smile again.
“What do you think kissing each other’s gonna be like?”
You were shocked into silence at his words. It took you a solid minute before you could respond. “I don’t know. It’s going to be good, I think, you have really nice lips so I don’t think it could possibly be bad, but Grant, come on, we have to hang up. Miss Saunders is going to be mad if she finds out we broke her rule.” Even though you said you should hang up, you made no move to do so.
“You have nice lips too.” Grant said, completely ignoring the last part of your statement. “You have nice everything, actually.” You could hear the smile on his face, and it made you smile too.
“Thank you. You have nice everything too, you know. Grant, honey, I really need to hang up. I’ll see you in four days, yeah?” Without giving him a chance to respond, you hung the phone up and climbed out of your car, making your way to the set for Love Bites.
Four more days. Just four more days.
“Man, I missed you.” You murmured, right before throwing your arms around Grant’s neck and hugging him tightly.
“I missed you too, shorty.”
“And you ruined the moment.” You said, completely deadpan as you pulled away from the embrace. Grant, however, was quick to pull you back into his arms.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized, frowning as he hugged you back more tightly than before. “You’re beautiful?” Grant offered, trying to redeem himself.
“I know, but thank you.” You said, accepting his apology and nuzzling closer to his body before pulling away. “Come on,” You grabbed his hand and led him towards the studio. “We have a kiss to film.”
“Listen, I know you’re pissed off at me, but now is not the time. There are god-knows-how-many zombies waiting right outside, and if we don’t get out of here soon, we’re gonna be their lunch.” Grant said, his voice gruff as he stalked around the room, grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer, and stuck it in his belt.
“I’m not pissed off at you! I mean, yeah, I was a little upset that you apparently have a crush on my sister and in the ten years we’ve been friends you’ve never mentioned it, but-”
“I don’t have a crush on your sister.” Grant as Peter interrupted you, and you blinked in confusion.
Grant shook his head before he spoke again. “I like you.” He crossed the room, his hands coming up to rest on your cheeks as he tilted his head down. “It’s always been you.” Grant whispered, his thumbs stroking your cheekbones before he dipped his head down.
His lips met yours, and you barely managed to stop yourself from kissing back instantly. No, the scene wanted Mollie to freeze for a moment, which you did, before she wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him back just as fiercely. You did that eagerly, and you felt more than you heard Grant groan against your lips.
You brought a hand up from his waist and tugged a little on his hair, that wasn’t in the script, but you didn’t think anyone would yell at you for it, and you were rewarded when Grant flicked his tongue against your lips.
You denied him for half a second before opening your mouth, and as his tongue met yours, you tightened your arm around his neck and used the hand that was around his waist to pull his body impossibly closer to yours. It wasn’t until another ten seconds had gone by that you heard the director calling out cut, and you broke the kiss immediately.
“That was good, guys, that was really good.” Ms. Saunders exclaimed, grinning at the two of you. “Five minute break before we shoot again, just in case! Love the passion though, Grant, __y/n__, really sells the whole 'pining’ thing.” She clapped you both on the shoulder before walking away, and when she was gone, Grant gently grabbed your wrist and dragged you over to a secluded corner.
“Please tell me that you weren’t acting.” He asked, and you shook your head frantically.
“Hell no, I’m not that good of an actress.” You answered immediately, before raising an eyebrow at him. “Were you?”
Grant shook his head, and before you had time to respond, he had leaned down and captured your lips in another kiss. You allowed yourself to kiss him back for only a moment before pulling away, and Grant frowned at you. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, honey, of course not. I just want to wait until we’re filming; makes the on-screen kisses more realistic, you know?” When Grant continued to frown, you pressed a kiss to his jaw. “I’ll kiss you as much as you want when we’re done filming, but Mollie and Peter’s kisses are supposed to gradually move into being nice and easy. Can’t have us instantly knowing how to kiss each other perfectly, can we?”
He nodded reluctantly. “No, we can’t.” Grant brightened after a moment. “Can I come over tonight?”
“Yeah,” You said, nuzzling your nose against his. “Sounds good.”
He grinned. “Awesome. I can finally do this,” His arms wrapped themselves around your waist. “While we watch Superman.”
You smiled back at him when he landed a kiss on your temple. “Have you been wanting to do that for a while?”
“Oh, you have no idea.”
You ran a hand through his hair, raising an eyebrow at him playfully. “I’ve had a crush on you ever since you popped up onscreen wearing that Dalton blazer, so believe it or not, I do have some idea.”
Grant looked at you incredulously. “Really? That long?”
You nodded solemnly. “Oh, yeah. I was hooked the first time I heard you talk.”
Grant couldn’t resist, he kissed you briefly before pulling away and speaking. “Same here, actually.”
Before either of you could say anything else, the director was calling you back onto the set, and you reluctantly stepped away from the wall and joined the crew.
You did the scene a couple more times (which was honestly more fun than anything else because you’d been wanting to kiss Grant for years, and then when you had got to know him, you had only wanted to kiss him more), as well as a couple other scenes that involved kissing, before the director decided that was it for the day.
Grant walked you to your car, and after pressing you against the door and giving you a long, lingering kiss that sent warmth curling around your whole body, he made his way to his own car. The second he stepped inside and sat down on the driver’s seat, his phone buzzed with a text.
To: Grant You're coming over right now, by the way. I know you were already planning on coming over but YOU NEED TO COME OVER RIGHT NOW YOU CAN’T JUST KISS SOMEONE LIKE THAT AND THEN LEAVE From: Aspiring Actress <3
Grant smiled at his phone before typing out a response and pocketing it once again.
To: Aspiring Actress <3 So, I take it my kissing skills are pretty good then? :-D No, but, yeah, I’ll follow you. Suddenly really glad we have tomorrow off. From: Grant
You didn’t bother responding, but when you pulled up outside your apartment, you climbed out of your car, grabbed Grant’s hand, and dragged him upstairs. You had barely managed to get the door open before you were pushing him against it and kissing him intensely.
“Yes, your kissing skills are very good,” You breathed out, before pulling him with you onto your couch. “But I think with a little more practice they could be even better.”
Grant certainly wasn’t objecting to that.
When Love Bites came out the following October, both your and Grant’s performances were highly praised for your 'undeniable chemistry, intense attraction, and believable love for each other’. Mollie and Peter’s first kiss won the MTV Movie Award for Best Kiss, and Grant’s reward for helping you win that award? More kisses.
All in all, your first movie was a total success, and dating Grant was better than you could have ever possibly imagined.
(Except for the rare occasions where he climbed out of bed and started sleep-tapping; that was a little annoying. But as long as you brought him back to bed and wrapped your arms around him, he would stop and go back to bed, and then when he woke up in the morning, you got to tease him about it until he kissed you to shut you up. Even his annoying qualities didn’t stay annoying for long.)