baaaaaaaaaabs

anonymous asked:

*chanting* BLUPJEANS HEADCANONS! BLUPJEANS HEADCANONS!

I feel like this is a summoning ritual.
AND I WILL COMPLY

Like I shouldn’t have to mention this but Lup wear’s Barry’s jeans. Barry is a chub man so those jeans are low riding and guess what? She doesn’t wear a belt, they just magically hang by the dangerously low level of her hips and Barry is 9/10 dying inside and out.
Barry’s style is lazy dad on a football afternoon meets highschool boy who only owns graphic ts. Some people (taako) think his fashion isn’t saveable but Lup repurposes it all the time. Barry finds his shirts with cuts all over them or singed and he’s just kinda “meh” 
Barry at least twice a week accidentally wears a shirt Lup has cut up, and everyone is very shook when he sports a “IPRE” crop top with fringe detail and makes if fucking WORK
Barry can’t grow a beard, the most he grows is an uncomfortable amount of scruffy patches that only Lup adores
She calls it “Prepubescent man-child fuzzies” everyone cringes
Speaking of which, unlike Taako who canonly has the mentality of “no one needs to know my fucking business” when it comes to his personal love life, Blupjeans are sooooo opposite
They are PDA station, they are in your face, I love you + Make out sessions in the middle of a crowded room
They are “Baaaaaaaaaabe” and vomit inducing sweetheart giggles
They are Barry constantly having his hands on Lup and Lup is quite literally always sitting on Barry’s lap or vice versa
They are the couple that live with each other’s tongue down their throats and its very hard to double date with them without getting at least a little grossed out

MCU PROMPT LIST

Here are some prompts! Leave a message saying a character (can be any avenger or their actor (this includes spiderman/tom holland, loki/tom hiddleston, etc.). All will be done in one shot form. You can request NSFW content, as all fics will have warnings. If none of the prompts tickle your fancy, leave me any sort of request you’d like!! You can also mix multiple prompts together! 

*PLEASE SPECIFY GENDER OF READER*

will be updated every once and a while


PROMPTS:

1- “Can you believe you invented being cocky?”

2- “Have you heard about this thing- it’s called like tumbling or tumbler or something?”

3- “Babe look! I can get your face on my ass!”

4- “Call it what you want, it’s art and I want it.”

5- “Baaaaaaaaaabe, I’m boooooooooored.”

6- “I like my coffee like my men. I don’t like coffee.”

7- “I mean, you could paint it on?”

8- “Bippity Boppity Back the fuck up.”

9- “You self centered asshole.”

10- “What’s cuter than you? Me. I’m cuter than you.”

11- “You look like a sexy salamander.”

12- “Cue the tissues.”

13- “I thought it was 8 AM”

14- “Why do you watch so much french porn?”

15- “Omg Becky you won’t believe it.”

16- “I’m a monster.” “You just stepped on it’s tail.”

17- “I found your diary.”

18- “I got 99 problems but a bitc- nonono you’re not a bitch.”

19- “You ate all my cereal. Again!”

20- “I’ve loved you for years.” “I’ve known you for like two months.”

21- “I just wish I could be here forever.”

22- “I think I just found the perfect couples halloween costume.”

23- “Do you think you could not point a gun at me?”

24- “Well for starters, you’re despicable.”

25- “You are the most beautiful/handsome person I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

kyber-hearts-and-stardust-souls  asked:

The cuddling prompts. 9. + 16. + 19. With Poe. Maybe they're roommates and both sick and miserable and don't have anyone else. I envision Poe being the bigger baby when sick. Lmao.

They’re not both sick and miserable in this, and there are Hamlet jokes.  I’m sorry.  (But not really, because I really enjoyed writing this.)


“Baaaaaaaaaabe…”  Poe whined.  The pitiful sound pinged off the tile in the bathroom and drifted down the hall.

You sighed and dropped the magazine you had been reading to the floor before rolling off the couch.  All of last night’s bad decisions had taken their own toll on your head and stomach, but apparently you were made from sturdier stuff than the Best Man.  You grabbed the half-empty bottle of Pepto off the counter before making the umpteenth trip down to the bathroom.

“Did you barf up the coffee told you not to drink?”  You leaned up against the doorframe and quirked an eyebrow at him, the pink bottle dangling in your fingers.

Poe frowned and sulked back against the tub.  “No.”

Your eyes glanced at the still-warm cup of coffee sitting on the floor near him, and then back to him.

Yes…”

“Here, take some of this.”  You unscrewed the cap on the Pepto and shoved it at him.

His nose scrunched up on his face, which if he weren’t such a sad pile of hungover and possible food poisoning, would be kind of cute.  “I don’t like that stuff.”

With a sigh, you rolled your eyes.  “And I don’t like that Pava and I had tickets to Hamlet tonight, but I have to take care of your miserable butt.”  You shoved the medicine in front of him and didn’t move until he took the bottle and took a long swig out of it.  His eyes never left yours as he drank the tonic, whether out of irritation or jealousy that you had won the battle with your digestive system, you weren’t sure.

Poe sighed and grumbled as some of the thick, pink liquid dribbled down his chin and onto shirt and sweats.  “How am I such a mess of a person.  This is the worst.”  Again with the whining.

You couldn’t help but chuckle a little as you grabbed a towel and knelt down next to him.  You cleaned the Pepto off of his chin and tried not to fall into him when he grabbed your hand and again looked into your eyes.  “Why aren’t you a mess right now?”  he asked, his voice soft, losing the childish whimper he’d been working all day.

“I drank water before the reception instead of doing lines of shots with the groomsmen.  I also told you Taco Bell at four a.m. was a bad idea.”

“I’m never eating Taco Bell again,”  he said rather seriously.  “They’re not real tacos.”

A large grin spread over your face and you nodded at his sickroom epiphany.  “We’ll get some real tacos tomorrow, okay?  Come on.”  You helped him up to his feet and motioned to his dirty clothes, now stained with pink droplets.  “I’ll do a load of laundry and then we can watch a movie or something.”

You helped him pull his shirt over his head, but stepped back into the doorway and turned your head when he started pulling off his sweatpants.  Not that sharing this apartment for the past year hadn’t already given both of you some accidental (and not-so-accidental) peeks at each other partially clothed.

“You don’t have to stay here.  Go ahead and see Hamlet with Jess,”  he said after handing you the clothes and stepping up the sink.  He splashed water on his face and then squirted toothpaste onto his toothbrush.  But you just stood there, barely even realizing that you had turned back to look at him and just stopped to admire the view.  He turned and grinned, toothbrush hanging from his lips.  “I hear the lead spends half the play without pants.”

“Uh-huh.”  You shook your head and started walking down the hall.  “Jess already asked Rose to go instead.  You’ll just have to buy me tickets to make up for it.”

After you had dumped the dirty clothes into the wash and started the machine, you found Poe already sprawled out on the couch.  He had brought a pillow and a blanket and left almost no room for you.  You put a box of saltines and a sports drink on the table, then set a bucket on the floor next to the couch, just in case.  When you stood in front of his face, blocking his view of the TV, he finally sat up slightly to let you squeeze onto the couch.

“I hate being sick,”  he confessed and snuggled his head into your lap as the Disney logo and fanfare started playing on the television.

“I couldn’t tell.”  You smirked and brushed your fingers through his hair.  “What are we watching?”

“The Lion King.  It’s basically Hamlet.”  He grinned and turned his head slightly to kiss the top of your leg and then settled in for the movie.  “Simba also doesn’t wear pants.”

You laughed and playfully pushed at him.  “As if I haven’t seen enough sloppy, naked men today.”

tinyjunkerimagines  asked:

Hey! I just sent in that Junkrat ask, could I be a little selfish and ask to include McCree as well? (I'm so sorry I literally forgot to put him in there as well, it's like 6am here, I've barely slept, its not a fun time, I'm pretty sure my blood is more coffee at this point ahaha) If its not doable/okay thats totally okay!!

Thanks for all the kind words! And it’s no problem! Sorry if they’re a little short, I’m a bit stressed myself after this week… =_=

McCree

  • Probably one of the best boyfriends to have when you’re stressed, he’s just so caring and sweet when you’re feeling down.
  • Will drag you away from your work if you’re still trying to, draping himself over your desk or lap or shoulders dramatically and whining, drawing out your name or one of his many pet names for you.
  • “(Y/nnnnnnnn), baaaaaaaaaabe, come on. Daaaaaaarlin…”
  • Kisses your head and neck, pretty much anywhere he can reach, and uses his cold metal hand on your side.
  • Finally, when you agree to stop working, he looks like a happy puppy and carries you back to the bed or couch with him!
  • Goes to make you both hot chocolate if you’d like some, and probably starts a marshmallow war at some point!
  • Old wild west movies! The entire night is filled with old wild west movies, and McCree is so happy. There’s also lots of jokes and silly impressions until both of your sides hurt!
  • Cuddling under his serape, on his lap or snuggled up into his side as he buries his face in your hair and kisses your head and shoves his face in your neck to tickle you with his beard. 
  • Starts mumbling as he gets more tired, about how you’re so beautiful and how much he loves you!

Junkrat

  • Kisses your forehead and cheek while you watch, and rubs your back when he sees you getting tired.
  • Also tries to be annoying to get you out of working, wrapping his arms around you and whining for you to get to bed.
  • Kisses your neck and probably blows raspberries on it to annoy you.
  • Drags you away whether you agree or not, carrying you bridal style to the bedroom or living room, and throwing you onto the bed or couch.
  • Makes hot chocolate, hot enough to burn your mouth while he can drink it just fine, but it’s delicious anyway!
  • Puts on action movies with a lot of explosions, because, hey, he’s Junkrat.
  • Cuddles you with yours arms and legs entangled, hugging you like a koala if you try to leave!
  • You don’t even need a blanket, he’s like a living space heater when it comes to cuddling, and will lay there with you for hours until he sees that you’re calmed down and feeling better.
  • Makes jokes and tell stories from the Outback while you watch, making you laugh until your sides hurt in the end.
  • Also mumbles as he gets sleepy, about loving and how you’re so amazing, but also how he’s just so lucky to have you.
Steel Trap

Pairing: bellatrix black x rodolphus lestrange
Setting: modern, drug-dealing AU (sequel to Pas de Deux
Word count: 2187 words
Written for: takeupserpents
Notes: because i felt really sorry for rodolphus ok like he’s such a nonentity everywhere????? 


0930h – hi
0930h – is this bellatrix black
0942h – What
0942h – Yes
0942h – Who’s this
0945h – um
0945h – rodolphus 
0946h – we met last night
0946h – at the party
0947h – you jumped on me and tried to take my shirt off
0948h – then you bit my neck
0949h – and stole my phone 
0949h – and put your number in it
0950h – then gave it to malfoy and said to hide it so that i’d have to work for reward 
0953h – Oh 
0954h – Ok then
0954h – Did he hide it
0955h – no
0955h – he gave it back to me and said you’re crazy
0959h – Motherfucker
1000h – but i like your boots
1010h – You mean you like my boobs
1010h – Asshole
1012h – yeah
1013h – but also your boots 
1013h – they’re very cool 
1014h – Wtv
1015h – If I tried to take your shirt off you must be some kind of hot I guess 
1016h – So what do you want
1016h – Breakfast?
1017h – Lunch?
1017h – Dinner?
1017h – A pity fuck?
1019h – um 
1019h – can we do lunch?
1019h – i like milkshakes
1020h – do you like milkshakes 
1021h – Lol you’re adorable 
1021h – Bring condoms

Keep reading

TW: Men making fetishized movies about rape & calling it “dark humor”

AND NOW TODAY IN “MEN USING RAPE AS A DARK AND EXOTIC PLOT POINT USED TO EXPLORE THEIR OWN MORALITY AND FEELINGS RATHER THAN THOSE OF THE WOMEN YOU KNOW…BEING RAPED” (see: The Gift starring Bradley Cooper)  … IT IS MY ESTEEMED HONOR TO PRESENT TO YOU ALL: DEADGIRL. 

Sent in by my bud Mikey (@timetrabble) “It’s literally about some high schoolers who find a chained up zombie girl in an abandoned hospital and decide to make her their sex slave.”

THEN, the movie ends with the main character, Rickie, who has defended the “honor” of his high school crush the entire movie, “saving her life” so that he can “rape her forever” 😍😍😍😍😍  awwwww baaaaaaaaaabe… you shouldn’t haaaaaaave: 

“Rickie holds her for a moment, assuring her that he loves her and will save her. She coughs blood into his face and tells him, ‘Fucking grow up.’ Then she asks him, ‘Please, Rickie, help me.’ The film cuts to cleanly dressed Rickie living normally as he walks outside in the direction of the asylum. There, in the basement, surrounded by soft lights, tied lying in bed wearing clean lingerie, is his Deadgirl, Joann.’

LOLOL WHAT A BITCH I MEAN CLEARLY SHE WAS ASKING FOR IT

ladies, when the revolution comes every woman will get to save 10 men so be thinking about who you want on your list & why.

Call your uncles, your brothers, your cousins, tell them you never loved them – & that war is near.

"Warmth" A Jack Gilinsky Imagine (CUTE)

I haven’t made an imagine in forever and I’m so sorry. I had writers block for a bit.

____________________

Jack was in the room on his phone while you were watching TV in the living room.

You guys weren’t mad each other. You both just trusted each other enough to be seperated for a bit.

Your feet were as cold as ice.

You turned off the TV and went to the room where Jack was.

He saw you and automatically smiled.

You lifted the blanket and went foot first to Jack’s body.

“OW. Your feet are freezing, babe.” Jack says quickly , but gently taking your feet off his leg.

“BUT BAAAAAAAAAABE” you whine.

“This is like when your hands got cold and you wrapped your hands around the back of my neck.” He says.

“What can I say, you’re warm!” You giggle.

“And your cold!” He chuckles, grabbing your foot and putting it on his leg again.

“I love you babeeee” you say.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m like your personal sock!”

You both laugh.

He gets up and comes back with a pair of socks.

You thank him then put it on.

He got in bed again and you guys cuddled.

“I love your warmth.” You mumble into his chest.

“And I love you.” He mumbled back. ____________________

this sucks but better ones soon. promise.

4/4: His nicknames for you

Ashton: 


Ashton would originally call you by your name or a shortened version of it. It would then go to “Hey, beautiful” or “Good morning, gorgeous” But as your relationship grows, he’d start to fall more and more for you every day and one day, out of the blue, he’d start calling you love. And he’d add it at the end of every sentence because he just loves you too damn much and he needs you to know.

—————————————————

Calum:

With Calum, it would be two things for sure. On a regular basis, he’d call you babe but a little faster and it would sound more like ‘beb’. This would be like “Let’s go to dinner, babe?” But when he’s in a romantic mood and wants to make you feel special and make sure you knew that you were all his, he’d call you darling (like in Long Way Home). Before you guys fell asleep at night, he’d hug you real tight and kiss your forehead and say “Good night, darling. I love you” and he’d make sure he sees you blushing or giggling and then he’d pinch your cheeks and sing some really silly song using the word 'darling’

—————————————————


Michael:

Michael would have a bunch of nicknames for you and he’s such a loud guy that if you guys were outside, he would not hesitate to yell “SWEETIE LOOK AT THIS I NEED THIS” when he say a little stuffed animal to make friends with Daniel. If he was feeling a little whiny or hungry, you’d be 'babe’ but he’d stretch it out like “But baaaaaaaaaabe I really want pizza” and make a cute little sobbing noise. I also see him as the kind of guy, if you unknowingly did something that turned him on, he’d say something like “You know you’re such a little shit. But you’re my little shit and I love you” before pulling you into his lap and kissing you.

—————————————————

Luke:

Luke would be all about food nicknames. He’d never really have a standard one. You’d be his honey pie or his strawberry cupcake or apple pie and he’d find himself so hilarious. He’d say things like “Good morning, my little chocolate muffin” or “Would you like to go to lunch, cheesecake?” or “You’re my favourite taco, baby” and he’d do that little giggle where he covers his mouth and laughs. But if he was feeling really turned on, he’d definitely call you honey (like in SLSP). It would be something he whispers into your ear and it would give you goosebumps every time.

—————————————————

Material List

I’m super busy with college so requests are closed. I’m working on some stuff that will be uploaded as and when I get them done:

   1. Michael smut on being each others’ first time

   2. Ashton smut about backstage sex after a great show

   3. Calum smut about watching him working out and you find it sexy

   4. Part 6 to the Ashton AU where he’s not famous

   5. 4/4 blurb about dancing around the house

   6. 4/4 blurb about first dates

   7. 4/4 blurb about proposals

—————————————————

Dancing & Cuddles (Michael) Requested

Requested by anon - Hiya, can you write something about you dancing around your room and micky whining for cuddles and to cheekily annoy him you one by one get the boys to join your dance party (ALL TIME LOW AND GREEN DAY) and you finally give in and you and all the boys squish into a king size bed together and watch a movie, but micky doesn’t care his just happy he gets his cuddle and to be able to wisper cute things in your ear

“But baaaaaaaaaabe” Michael whines as I laugh.

“Come on Mikey! I got my test results back and I passed all my classes. I want to dance!” I say happily.

“I want to cuddle”

“Not until you dance”

“I’m not dancing”

“CALUM!” I shout and his head pops around the door jam. 

“Yeah?”

“I want to dance but Mikey won’t dance with me and I have all the music set up and he is being a party pooper. I bet you are a better dancer anyway” I say, winking at him. He decides to play along and I’m grateful for that. 

“Two seconds” he says, holding up his finger. When he returns with a couple bottles of beer. He hands me one and I take a sip. I hear Michael groan.

“Caaaaaaaal, I just wanted cuddles. Why do you have to go against me!?” he pouts and Cal and I both laugh. I push play and Green Day starts coming through the speakers. I look at Michael with one eyebrow raised and dare him to try and get me to turn it off. By the third song, Luke comes to investigate. I run over to the door and grab his hand.

“Come on Lucas! Join us in our dance-a-thon” I shout over the music and he laughs as he brings his other hand up to mine and we dance a weird little move. 

“Okay babe, you have proven your point, come cuddle now” Michael says a little grumpy now.

“Michael Gordon Clifford, if you won’t celebrate with me, I will find other people to dance with”

“Looks like you already have” he says.

“I’m still missing Ashton, hold on” I say skipping out of the room. I find Ashton sitting in his room with his computer on his lap.

“I’m trying to annoy Michael, will you come help me”

“Why are you trying to annoy him?”

“He won’t dance with me and I have Luke and Calum already out there. Pleaaaaaassssssse” I almost beg. Ashton puts his computer down and follows me into the room just as the music switches to All Time Low. Ashton joins us in dancing and Michael groans. 

“Don’t you want to dance with us Michael?” Ashton teases.

“No, I want to cuddle with my girlfriend and you assholes are making it impossible” he says. The song switches to the acoustic version of ‘Jasey Rae’ and I know that as soon as I grab Luke, Michael will be off that bed. I push Calum to Ash and laugh.

“Slow dance time!” I grab Luke and wrap my hands around his middle (since I can reach his neck comfortably) and fold into him. He hesitantly brings his arms around my back and I can tell he is nervous of Michael’s reaction.

“NOPE! No way, don’t even think about it, hands off my girl Hemmings”

“She grabbed me Mikey” he says as he pulls away. When I look at Michael, he is off the bed and has a hand extended to me. I smile at Luke and then back at Michael. 

“He doesn’t get to hold you like that” he growls into my ear.

“Well I asked you but you refused”

“If I had known that someone else was going to do it, I would have gotten up”

“My plan worked then” I say with a giggle and we lean our foreheads against each other. When the song ends, Michael gives me a light kiss on the lips. 

“Can we please do movie night now?” he asks.

“But I want to watch a movie” Luke pouts.

“Yeah, can’t we cuddle too?” Ash says.

“Your bed is big enough, come on” Calum laughs as he pulls us all down.

“Someone still has to put the movie in” I laugh.

“Nah” Michael replies as he grabs the x-box remote and goes to Netflix.

“Never underestimate his laziness, Y/N” Ashton jokes. I smile as the movies starts and I curl into Michael. I feel Calum cuddle into me but when I look up to Mikey to see if he is okay with it he chuckles and whispers in my ear.

“My hand is close enough to punch him in the junk if he tries anything” I laugh with him and receive a look from the other 3. 

“I love you, you lazy goon”

“I love you more you overactive hamster”

- Kimmie

Taking Care of Niall

“Baaaaaaaaaabe!” you heard a congested moan from the other room.  “I need youuuuuuu. I think I’m dyingggggggg.”

 

Sighing and rolling your eyes, you shouted from the kitchen to your sick boyfriend in the living room.  “What now, Niall? Was the soup not okay?”

 

“Come here, Y/N.”

 

Putting down the recipe book you had been perusing for meals for the week, you decided to go see what exactly the matter was.  Niall was curled up in a ball under two heavy blankets on his big comfy leather couch.  His nose was red and his eyes were a bit puffy, positive signs that he simply had a common cold.  But, retaining his title as drama king, he made it seem as if he’d contracted the worst disease known to man and expected all the sympathy in the world.

 

“What is it Niall?”

 

“C’mere. Come sit with me.”

 

You plopped down next to him and pushed your fingers through his hair, stopping briefly at his forehead to check for signs of a fever.  He felt a bit warm so you made a mental note to grab some aspirin when you left the room.

 

“Will you cuddle with me?” Niall asked quietly, giving you the saddest eyes that he knew you couldn’t resist.

 

“I have lots of stuff to do, Niall. Besides, you don’t want me to get sick, do you?”

 

“C’monnnn. It would make me feel so much better.”

 

You sighed. You had been working all day, so you figured taking a quick nap with him wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

 

“All right, fine.  But only for an hour,” you smiled down at him.

 

“Deal,” he smiled back, and opened up the blanket to allow you to cuddle with him under it.

 

You both dozed off pretty quickly, your dreams being mixed in with the conversations of the people on the TV left on in front of the couch.  You were awoken suddenly with the loud coughing of Niall behind you.

 

“Baby what’s wrong?” you asked concerned as you rolled over to look at him.

 

“I.. don’t.. know,” Niall stuttered out between hacks.

 

You stood up immediately as the coughs became more violent and blood spattered out onto Niall’s hand.

 

“Holy shit! Oh fuck fuck fuck,” you mumbled as you grabbed Niall’s phone and began to call for an ambulance.   Niall continued to cough uncontrollably and each time it seemed to become more violent.

 

Before you were able to complete your call, Niall suddenly began to dry heave as if he were about to cough up a hairball.

 

“Niall?” you asked timidly.

 

But before you could say anything else, Niall finally coughed up what seemed to be causing the problem.  With one last huge heave, an enormous La-Z-Boy leather sofa erupted from his mouth and landed next to the other one on the floor in the living room, covered in blood in mucus.

 

As soon as the couch was out of his system, he collapsed to the floor and his entire body seemed to deflate as if he were entirely full of air.  Slowly but surely, nothing was left of Niall except his clothing and flat carcass on the floor of the living room.

 

And that’s when it hit you. Your boyfriend hadn’t been sick with a cold.  He had been afflicted with the deadly Couch Cough virus.