b:b

dear fwb,

you ask me for updates for the weekend while i’m out of town, 

you hold me close when you know i’ve had a bad day,

you don’t expect anything of me when i come over,

you cuddle and kiss me and just watch Netflix with me,

and you comment about how i look happy while you hold me in your arms,

i like what we have,

i want to keep it as it is,

no expectations, no titles, just you and me, cuddling and kissing,

love,

your friend

Dear B,

When I first met you, I didn’t think much of you. You were a quiet, angry man who didn’t seem very happy. You were always fighting with her, and life just seemed to be getting you down. You’d go to work. You’d come home.

Then you lost your job. I’m friends with her, so I saw you more. It was her birthday, and you were teasing me nonchalantly. You smiled, it was a cute smile. My heart fluttered, but I’m with him, that’s not supposed to happen.

I don’t know what happened next. Over time my feelings changed. You were no longer that angry man who didn’t seem very happy. You were a sweet man, who cares for his kids, and is unhappy that your ex keeps them away most of the time. Your children make my weekends when they are with you. They are kind and happy and playful.

She went a way for a month, I didn’t see you. I thought this was great, my feelings began to disappear. She came home, I saw you again, they came back.

I want so badly to not feel this way. But I also want to be with you. That hour we were together, just you and me, just talking, I felt like I KNEW you, like really knew you. It made me want you more, and for goodness sake I hate this. I can’t be with you, I’ve only ever accidentally touched your hand.

I want him to leave, I want to make him want to leave, so I can be with you. But I can’t.

P.

i think you should get more candies for transferring evolved pokemon in pogo. like, one candy for pidgey, two for pidgeotto, three if you have a pidgeot to transfer 

dear b,

you drive me absolutely up the wall. I shouldn’t feel like this about anybody, I’m a stone cold bitch who doesn’t need anybody to feel ok.

but you’re different. you walk by and I’m immediately thinking of little kids- our kids- sitting like ducks in a row at church on Sunday and all the little old ladies talking about how they watched us grow up and get together. I see you coming home after a long day teaching and me from my last appointment and cooking dinner together. I see jam sessions where you drum sing at the top of your lungs to mumford and sons songs while i play guitar. I see my dad walking me down the aisle. 

and it’s stupid, i know. this will never work out. but that can’t stop a girl from dreaming right? your ambiguous expression of feelings doesn’t help either

please make it clear how you feel, I need to know

-e

saw kubo and the two strings. it’s great and you should go see it. also, in following with the trend of “i always come away from shows and movies wanting to cosplay something from it” i need to find someone else roughly my size because i want to cosplay these two:

i want very much to have me and someone else be these two, just creepily and antagonistically gliding around a con

Dear W,

When you had your chance with her, you thought you’d be happier with her, you left me in a heartbeat.

Now, you’ve admitted you’re not happy with her, that you were far happier with me. What’s stopping you from leaving her?

You even admitted to me that you were ready to drop everything to come and see me when I was having a hard time. Actually, you admitted that you forgot that wasn’t your place anymore.

You’ve said you feel like you can talk to me in a way you can to no one else. 

I’m not saying drop her to come back to me, I’m saying evaluate your happiness and go for what makes you happiest.

Love,

B