Everyone is entitled to their opinions and everyone is entitled to their beliefs … but if the opinions and feelings are rooted in denying certain people basic human rights, I’ve got a problem with that.
You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. Take care of yourself. But don’t be an asshole about it. They’re going to be hurt, they’re going to feel abandoned, and unless you want to fuck with their head even more once you tell them you don’t want to be in their life anymore (nicely!!!) then stop all contact so they don’t get their hopes up again.
Logically, we know you can’t provide us with attention/affection 24/7, we know our fp’s are not a professional and are not our therapists, and we know our symptoms can be difficult – we’re the ones who have to live with our own symptoms every second of every single day. HOWEVER, don’t assume we aren’t trying to recover. If we do something that makes you uncomfortable or inadvertently hurts you, tell us so we can work on it with you. Communicate with us! Communicate often and keep our emotional permanence issues in mind!
If you’re someone’s fp and you’re thinking about leaving the relationship, because you’re just not happy anymore, or because they are abusive (no, people with bpd are not inherently abusive but there are abusive people with bpd) I really suggest you read the book Borderline Personality Disorder for Dummies, specifically Chapter 21: What To Do When Your Partner Has BPD. Even more specifically, page 274: “Walking Away from BPD”, page 277: “Leaving abusive relationships” & page 278: “Leaving non-abusive relationships” .. or if you can’t find this book online/don’t want to buy, message me. I own the book and I’ll tell you what it says plus my own thoughts as someone with BPD.
Of course we don’t want to be abandoned, but we also don’t want to have people in our lives who don’t want to be there.
-An Alpha child trying to befriend an Omega but the Omega is just, “My big sister says Alphas are gross” and then feeling terrible when the Alpha starts getting teary so they rush to make it better like, “No no that doesn’t mean YOU are gross! She probably meant other Alphas! Lets go build blocks okay?” and the Alpha sniffles but agrees
-An Omega child arguing with their Beta friend over which dynamic is smarter and eventually they both declare that they aren’t friends anymore…for about five minutes till they are both sobbing and apologizing because they still want to be friends
-An Alpha refusing to eat their fruit at snack time so their little Omega friend scolds them until they finally eat and then the Omega hugs them and gives them little praises like, “Good job!” and “You’re such a good listener!” because that’s the praise their parents always gives them and it always makes them happy so they thought it would help their friend. The Alpha just stays quiet even as their face gets redder and redder
-A new Beta student that doesn’t really fit in well until a lively Omega child declares them to be best friends and introduces them to their grumpy Alpha friend, the little Alpha being annoyed by the Beta at first but quickly becoming attached and protective like they are with the Omega
-Two little Alphas having a crush on the same Omega so they end up arguing and the Omega interrupts like, “Aww don’t fight, I love you both a lot!” before grabbing the Alpha’s hands and dragging them off to play with a grin and a giggle, the little Alphas reluctantly getting along to make the Omega happy
-Omega children staying in and finger painting during recess one day because its too cold for them to go out with the other children, an Alpha returning to class and freaking out because they think the red paint on their friend’s hands is blood and that they’ve been hurt somehow
-Alphas and Betas pretending to be super heroes during recess and the Omegas being upset because they are told that they have to play the person that needs saving because Omegas are too small to save people
-Cold days when the weather makes all the little Omegas sleepy and lethargic and it causes all the Beta and Alpha children to be calmer around them. Teachers adore cold days
-An Omega child being very attached to an Alpha classmate but the Alpha is always telling them to go away because they are annoying. One day the Omega takes them seriously and starts playing with some other children, the Alpha sees and is instantly feeling possessive so they walk right over and sit down and pull the little Omega onto their lap, small arms wrapped tightly around the Omega’s waist as the Alpha pouts and scowls at people. The teachers trying to make the Alpha let go but the Alpha doesn’t want to and the Omega is just content to keep playing while being held
-Alpha children starting a ‘club’ and getting in trouble with teachers for telling Omegas that they can’t join because only Alphas are allowed in