person-with-a-cool-name  asked:

I don't really know how to ask this - I'm writing hobby-wise, and I have a few decent ideas, but whenever I write them, the language seems a bit, well, hollow. Not at all like spoken word. I can write like that a bit more in chats, but how can I make written language and, most important, descriptions, seem more real?

Adding Depth to Your Language

When you say hollow, I assume the problem is the writing feels stiff. It lacks personality, emotion, and maybe it’s even too grandiose for the subject matter you’re tackling.

I think the problem might be that you’re trying too hard to differentiate between spoken language and written language. It’s not as if writers throw a switch when they shift from conversing to writing. Our speech patterns are often mirrored in our writing, though often times with a bit more polish that comes from the ability to edit, which you can’t do when you’re just talking to someone, and even editing with online chats is limited to the seconds before you send the message.

When I think back to some of the first things I wrote, they read very much like stories I was relating to people in real life. I’d pretend I was telling someone a story, and I’d write the words I’d use to describe it. As I gained more experience, and exposed myself to the ways other authors wrote, I started to learn the right ways to embellish my writing.

So if you’re still trying to figure out your writing style, I say just jump in and tell stories the way you would tell them verbally. Get them on paper, and practice. Your first story may not feel all that “story-like,” and maybe your second won’t either, but once you get comfortable telling stories in this way, you’ll find yourself experimenting with language and structure more.

Writers often write in closets for many years, and what I mean by that, is that they write in secret. They don’t share their work with others, so they don’t get constructive criticism. And yet, even without someone critiquing you, you improve. Criticism and advice from others may help you improve faster, but it doesn’t mean you won’t improve without it just by writing, writing, writing.

The important thing is that you’re telling stories and enjoying yourself while doing it.

Bearing all that in mind, here are a few tips to make your writing seem less hollow:

  • Use POV - When you’re writing a description, don’t think of it as a camera lens; think of a character who is actually there, seeing, hearing, and feeling it. Don’t focus only on the visual details - include sounds, sensations, and when applicable, see if the object of description reminds your character of anything. A memory, a person, or a place.
  • Use Words - When it comes to word choice, think of words that convey feelings, both physical and emotional. Instead of saying something is loud, you could say that it’s ear-splitting. And when you describe pain, be specific. Don’t just say something hurts - does it burn, sting, ache, throb, ect.? When it comes to description, don’t just focus on the colors of things - imagine their shadows, and the glares from sunlight or artificial light. Describe textures, even if the character/narrator is unable to touch what they’re describing.

I don’t need to touch this to imagine it being scratchy, grainy, or bumpy. So add texture to descriptions if they feel flat.

  • Use Reactions - When writing is hollow, it’s often because it seems to just sit on a page, not doing anything. But when you have characters reacting to the things you’re writing, it starts to have some movement. Characters can respond to something you’re describing by smiling, speaking, or even taking action. If your character is standing in the thunderstorm you’re describing, have them react! Have them run for cover, or attempt to hide their head, or zip their jacket, or try to hail a cab. Even if your setting is less intense (like a patio on a sunny day), your character can react by removing their jacket, or drinking something cold, or fanning themselves with a menu or pamphlet.

If you couldn’t sense the theme that shows up in all three of these, it’s emotions. We read fiction to experience stories with characters. And the way we connect with characters is by becoming intimate with their emotions. Injecting emotion into your language will immediately help the story feel more real.

Good luck!


  • John: (reading card in a monotone voice) Heed my voice mortals, for I am the God of ___, and I will not tolerate ___.
  • Smii7y: John, could you read that a bit more enthusiastic for us?
  • Nick and Craig: (cracking up in the background)
  • John: I literally can't
  • Nick: Can you give us like, just a little bit mor-
  • Craig: a bit more UMPH
  • John: I literally can't :(
  • Everyone: (short silence)
  • Smii7y: John.
  • Smii7y: Can you read it in your best voice possible? <3
  • John: (Without hesitation, reads the card with his "best voice possible") H E E D M Y V O I C E M O R T A L S, I A M T H E G O D O F ____, A N D I W I L L N O T T O L E R A T E *SLAMS TABLE* ____.

it has come to my attention that some perc’ahlia fans would like the original art for my playlist sans text. so here it is. not much different but i kinda want to draw more now. 8]

Sweet Succubus

So often I inhale your cathartic cocktail;
it swoons me from my study, my brain trails.
Homogeneous with my velvet red intertwines, all else hails.
All exhales whisper, loftily, a separate tale.

Your embers are like no other;
they glow of yesteryear and retract into the present.
The warmth and the darkness, you segment.
Each draw, intoxicating, one after another. 

Like a con artist you remain vague, and disappear;
any remaining inflection sails beyond the oculus;
presence constant, but hueless.
Those unacquainted always sneer.

Knowing not, your gift is of the most diverse;
but, in the end, like all else, your essence is a curse.

I was feeling bad about not writing a lot recently when I realized that @smergrl3495​ and I have pretty much been trading ficlets over chat so I’m going to post a few of them to make myself feel better

this appears almost exactly as I had written it in chat, with a few minor additions and better grammar lol

Summary: Jesse takes care of Gabe during a panic attack.

fucking hell I just thought about Gabe having a panic attack

fuck like

fuck ok just

Gabe’s having a hell of a week, he’s got too much fucking shit to do and he’s been awake too fucking long and he needs to sit down and eat a fucking vegetable like holy christ and he’s got it, he’s got it under control, he can do this he’s just gotta keep doing it, just gotta keep going, one foot infront of the other, buckle down, pull up by your bootstraps kinda work. He does it all the damn time, he’s got this.

So he’s got his list of shit to do, he’s going through it in his mind, the steps to getting everything done, if things just go exactly right he can go to sleep at an reasonable hour that night even if he’s gotta get up at an unreasonable hour the next morning to start this shit all over again and he runs into a minor hiccup, some little thing which requires his immediate attention. No problem. Adjust the list. He’s got this he can do this. He fantasizes about the sleep he’s going to have.

He buckles down after that, nose the the grindstone, he’s got this he can do it. He gets a call from an angry diplomat, a call Jack was supposed to field, not him, and deals with it as judiciously as he can, as quickly as he can.

It does not go well.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Haha just wondering have you ever gotten weird looks/reactions bc of the pics you take during dissections and because of your phone lockscreen of an open heart surgery? Love your blog btw!!

Oh boy, have I!! I used to get a lot of Shit when I was younger for being so deeply invested in branches of science seen as ’ gross’, but now most everyone I associate w/ knows I’m interested in medical science and similar fields.

I have a few friends and classmates who assist w/ my dissections & share my interests , which is rly nice!! I sometimes need a reminder to Not Talk About Surgery when I’m eating lunch with someone or whatnot, but hey. Everyone is used to my lock-screen by now, jaja.

Occasionally I’ll talk about my studies & interests I get people who are Really Grossed Out & rather rude about it, but that’s inconsequential & I don’t really care @ this point. People are almost always more curious than they are disgusted.

I DO put dissection pics&vids on my snapchat story when I dissect, but I make sure to put a warning beforehand bc I do not want to expose anyone to Graphic Gross Anatomy Pics if they can’t take that kinda thing.

Thankfully, all the staff where I intern are cool w/ me taking pictures of procedures and instruments & they like to see my dissection pics. So overall:
I used to really worried they people would think I was just being ##edgy and I never talked about my interests and studies, but I’ve kinda gotten over that & now, i am honestly really happy with my dissections & my internship& work and I couldn’t be more pleased with the prospect of educating others w/ this blog?? Or at least showing people how truly amazing biological organisms can be??

Sorry for the long & tangential & less-than-eloquent response but that was a rly good ask & thanks!!!