hello there y’all. i’m gonna take a little hiatus for possibly a week? because i’m going to bangladesh!!! i’m so happy to go there!! (@aysuh1009 hmu!!!!) anyways i’ll probably be back by ty’s bday and finish the mutuals project hopefully (eek i was busy packing and finishing up things so i couldn’t do them i’m sorry :( ) but yeah! once i’m not reblogging or posting things anymore, i guess that’s the start of the hiatus! (since i don’t know how to run a queue akjfvqbwkv) 


judith ayu @ the a-team mgmt


whenever i can’t draw i always default to these losers in a shoujo-manga au.

Concept: You and me, stargazing in a clear summer night. We’re lying on a flower field, the grass feels soft, we’re cuddling and keeping each other warm. My head is laying on your chest and I can hear your heartbeat. We feel safe.

This is probably going to be very long so please avoid reading this entire thing unless you’re the least bit curious about Lee Taeyong.

Apparently yesterday we received word and proof that all the claims against Taeyong were false. He did have multiple accounts; one for his internet quarrel and the others because of some of his buyers reporting his account after getting faulty gundam toys even at a low price. He had reimbursed his buyers or given them the parts missing. It sounds a lot like, he did try to scam or outwit his buyers, but failed. And like it was designed to show that he took measures against those buyers who complained verbally, he actually didn’t. Those screenshots of him threatening to beat up a high schooler and stuff were stuff said over an internet war of some sort.

Basically after all this shit was exaggerated and Taeyong was somewhat framed, SM chose the easy path to make Taeyong admit that he actually did everything he’s being accused of. That way, there won’t be much to prove, a 19-year-old trainee won’t have much to explain, and they can just make an official apology and get over it.

Taeyong had said in NCT LIFE S2, Episode 0, that he didn’t have any aspiration or dream or anything he really enjoyed doing till he got into SM and started training in rap and dance. He finally found something he enjoyed, something which made him feel like he’s serving a purpose. When SM chose to make him apologise rather than denying the false claims and standing up for himself, he could’ve left SM then because of course he knew how vicious these people could be since he already had a fanbase SM had very cleverly designed for them under the title ‘SMROOKIES’. But no, Taeyong stayed back because of his love for dancing and rapping (do remember that trainees can leave whenever they want to, but again since SMROOKIES was a big project they possibly were signed under a contract), or was forced to stay back. Either way it was definitely hard on the boy.

What I don’t understand is, why did he have to randomly bring up on multiple occasions that he did 'embarrassing deeds’, or he was a troublemaker? Like, when he’s supposed to make an apology he is to make the apology to calm the crazy K-netizens. But why did he have to randomly bring up that he was a troublesome student when it’s certainly, entirely not so?

Yes, probably SM made him talk about it when it was entirely unnecessary. Probably, SM made him cry with genuine frustration that must have piled up inside him with scripted words about how he’s embarrassed about a past he never had and how he’s apologetic about things he never did.

I don’t know what’s off but something probably is. It does make sense, but it does not. How much scripted is exactly the entire issue?

Taeyong was supposed to have the image of a ‘Tough Man’ as we can see in the first season of NCT LIFE. This entire image concept has been there for long and Taeyong was probably told to act in a very manly way to fit his image. He’s more soft, tender, and sensitive. He didn’t keep up with the image with which I am glad. But then, why did he keep up with the script?

Like, I’m not saying the entire thing is scripted, but how much is actually?

I know I am probably overthinking this, but I can’t put it down to rest. I had to share it somewhere; so I’m letting it all out here.

And I am not denying the fact that he must have gone through hell! Of course it must have been very, very hard for him. But why did he have to act so guilty? How much did SM push him to carry the act which is this self-deprecating and frustrating and depressing?