ayelet-waldman

Does a writer need a devoted spouse to be prolific? At The Atlantic, Koa Beck examines the concept of having a do-it-all partner like Vera Nabokov and if this traditional gender role only harms female writers. Koa interviews various writers, from Emma Straub to Ayelet Waldman, on how their literary partnerships work. “I’d fantasized that being his Vera was a way for me to deal with being stuck as a stay-at-home mom—I’d subsume my own ambitions into something ‘greater!’ But that lasted about 48 hours,“ Waldman said.

The Truth about Kim Kardashian Hollywood Alarmists

I’m 29 years old and I’ve kissed, flirted and disrobed my way through the world of Kim Kardashian Hollywood. 

This isn’t a commentary on the game, which is fantastic. There have been enough thoughts on the game, its world view and the pros and cons of playing.

This is about best-selling author and mom Ayelet Waldman, who last night (August 3) decided to take to social media to criticize Kim Kardashian Hollywood gamemakers, iTunes and Kim Kardashian herself for “preying” on children.

This is a long-fought battle. Parents have been targeting specific types of media for longer than I have been alive, believing these video games or TV shows breed violence, superficiality or a penchant for lip gloss. 

But I’m here to tell you that as an adult with a host of absurd interests and fetishes that Kim Kardashian Hollywood is only a money suck if you let it be one. 

No two Kim Kardashian worlds are built the same. 

Sure, we’re all eventually tapped by Elizabeth Korkov to be a last-minute stand-in for a crying model, but how we perform is up to us. Our characters are digital world simulations of a near-impossible goal: A-list manufacturing. How we dress, how we handle industry bad blood, is our touch of the button, not Kim’s.

Currently, my avatar is #1 in my world. He sports long, jet black hair, a black top and dark indigo skinny pants. His welcome note is “cum in my hair.” His name is Kevin.

As I said, the constructs of this game are clear cut across the board, but we manipulate the game to suit our tastes and our interests. We make the decisions to pay for K star coins or not. We make the decisions to dye our hair aqua marine or not. We decide if a Tribeca loft is really worth $10,000. We decide everything. We can even be gay, pansexual or polyamorous. We can be all of those things at once if we feel up to it.

So, while Ayelet’s son Abe is only 11 years old, there is more here to the story than it being simply his or iTunes fault. Abe’s mother is responsible for her children, not Kim Kardashian. 

Kim Kardashian helped create a wonderful game that’s more self-aware and progressive than anything in Google Play or the iTunes store today. Abe, understanding this and, simply, the popularity of this game, elected to download it and play. He then spent over $100 on in-app purchases. 

Now, Abe couldn’t have done this had it not been for his parents linking an iTunes account with an active credit card. That’s this instance. In any other instance, a child could easily steal a parent’s credit card and buy enough K star coins to earn that gorgeous military trench that is, sadly, out of my own income bracket. 

There’s an episode of Degrassi from the ‘80s where Melanie gets her braces off and treats her friends to pizza and soda. Then she learns that Snake wants her to attend the Gourmet Scum concert and steals $20 from her mother’s purse. She is caught and has to miss her date.

In this fictional retelling of a very common problem, Melanie acted and was made to face the consequences. 

In 2014 and with Ayelet’s Abe, Kim Kardashian gets the slap on the wrist. We’re made to feel sympathetic for her child because, as she tweets, he’s crying and says he didn’t think he was so stupid. 

So while we listen to poor Abe’s struggle with navigating the world of trends and commerce, Ayelet is on the phone with iTunes demanding a refund, which they honour. 

But why?

Why is iTunes or Kim Kardashian responsible for any of this?

I have not spent a single dollar on the game. Time-wise, I’ve even kept it pretty minimal, opting to wait it out for bouts of full energy to perform appearances for Immaculat Vodka or to make speeches for the charity Seeds of Hope. 

I know there’s an age difference between me and this sobbing child, which is why I’m not suggesting simply Abe suck it up. He spent his parent’s money without asking and that’s not cool. 

But why is iTunes or Kim Kardashian expected to pay the tab?

Ayelet is the mother. A mom who has written books about parenting and motherhood. And yet her life lesson for her son Abe, age 11, is that when you order your life by zeitgeist, you have every right to demand a refund if you make a wrong move.

Your actions don’t have consequences as long as you can yell at someone on the phone or e-mail a person until you’ve berated them enough that your money is securely back in your line of credit. 

The child is then perceived by a fawning parental cabal to be tortured by the demands of Kim Kardashian, Hollywood. 

Again, why is Kim Kardashian the target here? Why does Ayelet criticize Kim and the idea of giving someone famous like her money? Is Kim not providing a service? Yes, she is. Did Kim invent “fremium” games? No, she didn’t. 

Kim is an easy target for people like Ayelet who don’t grasp the reality of a person who made herself famous through reality. There’s a feeling that Kim hasn’t earned her keep and therefore is some sort of lesser being who values her lip gloss over the decency of children. 

That’s not fair. She hasn’t inserted demands into the game, such as, “buy this fur trimmed coat from my pre-release gift bundle for 120 K star coins or I will kill your family.”

She’s simply made a fun game that, should you desire, you could spend a bit of coin. If services have value to the user, paying for that service isn’t entirely out of the realm of expectation. Even Ayelet the author of books likely requires she make money to continue dispensing her own doses of reality. 

So, feel bad for Abe if you must, because who likes the vision of a crying child. But expect that he face the consequences of wronging a parent. And expect that Ayelet should know better than to admonish a person who had no hand in her child’s behaviour. She simply created a game that people would want to spend money on if they had it (or access to it). 

If Abe were to assault someone in the future, you can’t blame films and call Netflix to refund the charges. 

There are times as a parent when you realize that your job is not to be the parent you always imagined you’d be, the parent you always wished you had. Your job is to be the parent your child needs, given the particulars of his or her own life and nature.
—  Ayelet Waldman
The Ghost of Books: Part II
BEN EHRENREICH, STEPHEN ELLIOTT, MATTHEW SPECKTOR, MARY OTIS, and AYELET WALDMAN

Image © Lisa Jane Persky for Los Angeles Review of Books

BEN EHRENREICH
My tastes haven’t changed much since I was about eight years old. Back then my favorite books were all about lonely children who in their wanderings happened across a mysterious portal that allowed them to slip away from the drab everyday and into some brighter, more exhilarating world. I can’t remember titles (that’s why they are ghosts), but I do remember the precise locations of the individual portals, the secret knocks required to open them, the terrifying, fantastical adventures waiting behind each one. I have a map, but it’s hidden and it’s in code and I’m not telling where I keep it. The portals of the moment, though, include a strange and so-far quite gorgeous Czech novel called The Golden Age, by one Michal Ajvaz, and The Museum of Eterna’s Novel (The First Good Novel) by Macedonio Fernández, who was a mentor to Borges. The first 123 pages of the latter are composed entirely of prologues, more than fifty of them. Endless doorways: what more could anyone ask for?

As for the future, a small brigade of giant and semi-giant books have been staring down at me from a high shelf for too long, posing a serious danger to the integrity of the wall, and to my cranium: Samuel Delany’s Dhalgren, Doris Lessing’s The Golden Notebook, Robert Burton’s The Anatomy of Melancholy, Elias Canetti’s Auto-da-Fé, Vladimir Sorokin’s Ice Trilogy. If I can tackle one or two of them this year, I’ll be happy. More realistically, my reading list for 2012 includes Ngugi Wa Thiong'o’s memoir, Dreams in a Time of War, Paul LaFarge’s Luminous Airplanes, China Mieville’s The Iron Council, Dennis Cooper’s The Marbled Swarm, Teju Cole’s Open City. I’m also very excited about Victor Serge’s memoirs, due out this spring.

¤
STEPHEN ELLIOTT
I’m reading The Guardians by Sarah Manguso. I recently finished The Orphan Master’s Son by Adam Johnson and it blew my mind. It’s the best novel I’ve read in a long time. I don’t usually give books as gifts ever since I saw that New Yorker cartoon where someone is unwrapping a book on their birthday and looks around at the other partygoers and says, “Oh, homework.”

Keep reading

List of shibboleth names

by which the privileged judge their inferiors

A

Chinua Achebe (chin-oo-ah ah-chay-bae)

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (chim-ah-man-da nnnn-go-zeh ah-dee-che)

James Agee (a-jee)

Anna Akhmatova (onna ock-mah-taugh-vah)

Louis Althusser (lou-wee al-too-sair)

Jerzy Andrzejewski (yer-zhay ahn-zhay-ev-ski)

Roger Angell (angel)

Jean Anouilh (~ahn’oo-ee)

Hannah Arendt (hahn-ah ahr-ent)

Martha Argerich (mar-tah herr-each)

Eugène Atget (oo-zhenne at-zhey)

Augustine of Hippo (aw-gus-tin)

Autechre (aw-tekk-er)

Richard Ayoade (eye-oh-wah-dee)

B

Angelo Badalamenti (bottle-ah-menti)

Walter Bagehot (badget)

Balliol College (bay-lee-uhl)

Donald/Frederick Barthelme (barth-uhl-me)

Karl Barth (bart)

Roland Barthes (bart)

Tom Beauchamp (beachum)

Walter Benjamin (ben-yameen)

John Berger (berdger)

Bishop Berkeley (barkley)

Hans Bethe (beta)

John Betjeman (betch-uh-mun)

Joseph Beuys (boyz)

Hieronymus Bosch (Flemish pronunciation: heer-rone-nee-mohse boss)

Tadeusz Borowski (tah-de-yoosh borr-off-ski)

Tycho Brahe (Danish pronunciation: too-ghoh brahhh)

Broad Art Museum (brode)

Hermann Broch (~hair-monn brohhh)

Burgundy Street, New Orleans (burr-gun-dee)

Steve Buscemi (boo-semm-ee)

Bowdoin College (boh-din)

C

Gonville and Caius College (keys)

Menzies Campbell (ming-iss)

Thomas Carew (carey)

Vija Celmins (vee-yah tell-midge)

Michael Chabon (shay-bonn)

Jan Czochralski (yann choh-h’ral-ski)

J.C. Chandor (shann-door)

Dan Chaon (shawn)

Cimabue (chee-ma-boo-ee)

Karel Čapek (kah-rell chap-eck)

Michael Cimino (chee-me-noh)

Emil Cioran (chore-ahn)

Ta-Nehisi Coates (tah-nuh-hah-see)

Alexander/Andrew/Patrick Cockburn (coburn)

Paulo Coelho (~pow-lu kuh-whey.l-you.)1

J.M. Coetzee (koot-see)

Robert Campin (com-pin)

William Cowper (cooper)

Cré na Cille, Máirtín Ó Cadhain book (~kreh neh kill-eh)

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (me-high cheek-sent-me-high)

Countee Cullen (cown-tay)

Marie Skłodowska-Curie (skwoh-doaf-ska)

Alfonso/Jonás/Carlo Cuarón (al-fone-so/ho-nas kwah-roan)

D

Gerard David (Flemish pronunciation: ~hhheer-ahrd dahh-fidd)

The Dalles, Oregon (the dolls)

Guy Debord (ghee du-borrh)

Louis De Broglie (duh broy)

Richard Dedekind (between day-dah-kin and day-dah-kint)

Wilhelm Dilthey (dill-tai)

Alfred Döblin (deu-bleen)

Don Juan, Byron character (jew-un)

Gerrit/Gerard Dou (dow)

W.E.B. DuBois (duh-boyz)

Andre Dubus (duh-byoose)

E

Chiwetel Ejiofor (choo-we-tell edge-ee-oh-for)

Cary Elwes (ell-wiss)

Paul Erdős (~pal ehr-deush)

John Scotus Eriugena (era-jee-nah)

Leonhard Euler (oiler)

F

Nuruddin Farah (Somali pronunciation: ~nour-oo-deen farr-ah)

Colm Feore (column fury)

Ferdydurke (fair-deh-dure-kuh)

Paul Feyerabend (fire-ah-bent)

Johann Gottlieb Fichte (feesh-tuh)3

Ralph/Ranulph/Sophie/Joseph/Magnus/Martha Fiennes (rayf finezzzzzzzzzzzzz)

Gustave Flaubert (flow-bear)

William Foege (fay-ghee)

Michel Foucault (~foo-coh)

Gottlob Frege (got-lobe free-geh)

James Frey (fry)

G

Gallaudet University (gal-uh-debt)

Clifford Geertz (gurtz)

Alberto Giacometti (Swiss pronunciation: yah-coh-mett-ee)2

André Gide (zheed)

Giotto (jhott-oh)

H.R. Giger (ghee-guh)

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (~ger-tuh)

Nikolai Gogol (goggle)

Witold Gombrowicz (vee-told gomm-broh-vitch)

Jan Gossaert (~yann ho-sight) aka ‘Mabuse’ (mah-buu-zuh)

Philip Gourevitch (guh-ray-vitch)

Antonio Gramsci (gromm-she)

Matt Groening (graining)

Alexander Grothendieck (groat-enn-deek)

David Guetta (gay-tah)

H

Vaclav Havel (vott-slav hah-vell)

Michael Haneke (hanukkah)

Margaret H’Doubler (dough-blur)

Seamus Heaney (shay-muss hee-knee)

Aleksandar Hemon (between heh-monn and heh-mown)

Zbigniew Herbert (z’beeg-nyeff herr-behrt)

John Hersey (hearse-ey)

Hesiod (he-see-uhd)

Hermann Hesse (~hair-monn heh-seh)

Guy Hocquenghem (ghee ock-en-g’yem)

homo sacer, Agamben concept (Italian pronunciation: oh-moh satch-air)

Houston Street, Manhattan (house-ton)

Joris-Karl Huysmans (zhour-ris karl weese-moss)4

Bohumil Hrabal (boh-who-meal h’rah-ball)

Alfred Hrdlička (German pronunciation: ~hairt-litch-kah)

I

Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres (angh)

Eugène Ionesco (Romanian pronunciation: ~yoh-ness-koh)

Luce Irigaray (loose ear-ee-garr-eh)

J

Roman Jakobson (jacob-son)

Jacques, Shakespeare character (jay-kwiss)

Erica Jong (zhong)

Seu Jorge (~sewe zhawzhe)1

Carl Jung (yoong)

K

Frigyes Karinthy (free-gesh car-inn-tee)

Keble College (keeble)

Kelis Rogers (kuh-leece)

Imre Kertész (imm-reh kare-tace)

John Maynard Keynes (kanes)

Omar Khayyam (high-yahm)

Krzysztof Kieślowski (krish-toff keesh-loff-skee)

Q'orianka/Xihuaru Kilcher (core-i-an-ka/see-wahr-oo)

Danilo Kiš (dann-eel-oh keesh)

Paul Klee (powell clay)

Stephen Cole Kleene (cleany)

Phil Klay (kligh)

Karl Ove Knausgård (Norwegian pronunciation: ~kahl oo-veh kuh-nauss-gahd)

Zoltán Kodály (zohwl-tahn koh-die)

Sarah Koenig (kay-nig)

Alexandre Kojève (koh-zhevv)

Tadeusz Konwicki (tah-de-yoosh konn-vitz-ski)

Jerzy Kosiński (yer-zhay koh-shin-ski)

Alexandre Koyré (kwah-ray)

Saul Kripke (crip-key)

Thomas Kuhn (coon)

Milan Kundera (Czech pronunciation: mill-ahn koon-der-uh)

L

Henri Lefebvre (luh-fevv-ruh)

Stanisław Lem (stan-ni-swaf lemm)

Jonathan Lethem (leeth-um)

Jared Leto (let -oh)

Primo Levi (leh-vee)

Marina Lewycka (leh-vitz-kah)

Mario Vargas Llosa (yoh-sah)

Peter Lorre (laura)

Jan Łukasiewicz (yann wu-kah-shey-vitch)

M

Magdalen College, Oxford/Cambridge (mawd-lin)

Mannes College of Music (mannis)

Quentin Matsys/Quinten Matsijs (Flemish pronunciation: kvinn-tin mott-sayse)

Somerset Maugham (mawm)

Kazimir Malevich (may-lay-vich)

Thomas Mann (toe-mahs mahn)

Don Marquis (mar-kwiss)

Olivier Messiaen (oh-leev-yay meh-syonh)

Czesław Miłosz (chess-waff me-woahsh)

Joan Miró (zhwamn me-roh)

László Moholy-Nagy (~lass-low moh-holy noidge-eh)

Robert Moog (mogue)

George Mosse (mossy)

Sławomir Mrożek (swah-voh-meer m’roh-zhek)

Ron Mueck (myoo-ick)

Harry Mulisch (mool-ish)

Edvard Munch (ed-vart moonk)

Robert Musil (moo-zeal/moo-seal)

Eadweard Muybridge (edward my-bridge)

N

Nacogdoches, Texas (nack-uh-dough-chis)

Natchitoches, Louisiana (nack-uh-tush)

Otto Neurath (noi-raht)

Bill Nighy (nye)

Anaïs Nin (ah-nayh-ees ninn)

Emmy Noether (neur-tuh)

Cees Nooteboom (sayze note-uh-bome)

Lupita Nyong'o (~nnnnn yong-oh)

O

Obergefell v. Hodges (oh-burr-geh-fell)

Máirtín Ó Cadhain (marr-teen oh kai-un)

Adepero Oduye (add-uh-pair-oh oh-doo-yay)

Jenny Offill (oh-full)

Claes Oldenburg (kloss)

Michael Ondaatje (awn-datch-ee)

The River Ouse (ooze)

David Oyelowo (oh-yell-uh-whoah)

P

Chuck Palahniuk (paul-uh-nik)

Wolfgang Pauli (pow-lee)

Charles Sanders Peirce (purse)

Samuel Pepys (peeps)

Jodi Picoult (pee-coe)

Max Planck (plonk)

Plotinus (ploh-tine-us)

Anthony Powell (po-uhl)

John Cowper Powys (cooper poh-iss)

Principia Mathematica (prin-kipp-ee-yah)

Annie Proulx (proo)

Marcel Proust (proost)

Joseph Pulitzer (puh-litz-ur)

Q

Qatar (cutter/gutter)5

Quinnipiac University (kwinn-uh-pea-ack)

R

Ayn Rand (well-fare recipient)

Sławomir Rawicz (swah-voh-meer rahh-vitch)

Satyajit Ray (Bengali pronunciation: ~shut-uh-jeet rye)

Steve Reich (raish)

Tom Regan (ray-gun)

Rainer Maria Rilke (rhine-er mahr-ee-a reel-kuh)

Nicolas Roeg (rogue)

Theodore Roethke (ret-key)

Wilhelm Conrad Röntgen/Roentgen (vill-helm rhont-gn)

Klaus Roth (roath)

Mary Ruefle (roo-full)

Ed Ruscha (roo-shay)

S

Edward Said (sigh-eed)

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (sanh-eks-oo-pear-ee)

Luc Sante (sahnt)

Leonardo Sciascia (shah-shah)

Schlumberger (slumber-zhay)

Bruno Schulz (schooltz)

Martin Scorsese (score-sess-ee)

Henry Scrope, Shakespeare character (scroop)

W.G. Sebald (zay-bald)

Chloë Sevigny (sevv-un-ee)

Choire Sicha (corey seeka)

Charles Simić (Serbian pronunciation: simm-itch, but often called simmick)

Victor Sjöström (Swedish pronunciation: veek-torr hhhwhere-strome)

Theda Skocpol (scotch-pole)

Josef Škvorecký (yoh-zeff shkvore-etz-ski)

William Smellie (smiley)

Todd Solondz (suh-lawnz)

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (saul-zhuh-neat-sin)

Léon Spilliaert (Dutch pronunciation: lay-on spilly-art)

Strange, barony (strang)

William Stukeley (stoo-key)

Wisława Szymborska (vee-swa-va shim-bor-ska)

T

Gay Talese (tuh-leeze)

Chief Justice Roger Taney (tawny)

Nahum Tate (neigh-m)

Tchoupitoulas Street, New Orleans (chop-uh-too-luss)

Wayne Thiebaud (tee-bo)

Uwe Timm (ooh-veh)

Tzvetan Todorov (tsveh-tahn toh-duh-roff)

Colm Tóibín (~column toh-been)

Ernst Troeltsch (trolch)

Edward Tufte (tuff-tee)

Tulane University (too-lane)

Ivan Turgenev (yvonne turr-gain-yevv)

George W. S. Trow (like ’grow’)

V

Michel Houllebecq (he doesn’t care)

Joos van Cleve (yohss fon clay-vuh)

Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (meez fonn der roh-uh)

Rogier van der Weyden (~ro-kheer fon dur vay-dun)

Arnoldus Vanderhorst, ultimate namesake of Luther (vandross)

Vincent van Gogh (Dutch pronunciation: ~finch-ant fan hawh)

Antonie van Leeuwenhoek (ahn-toe-nee fon lay-when-hook)

Rembrandt van Rijn (remm-brondt fon rain)

Ludvík Vaculík (lood-veek vatz-oo-leek)

Johannes Vermeer (yo-hann-iss furr-meer)

Jones Very (jonas veery)

Vladimir Voinovich (vlah-dee-meer voy-noh-vitch)

Ludwig von Mises (fonn meez-ess)

Georg Henrik von Wright (fon vrikt)

W

Ayelet Waldman (eye-yell-it)

Quvenzhané Wallis (kwuh-ven-zhuh-nay)

Robert Walser (valzer)

Evelyn St. John Waugh (eve-linn sin-jun wahh)

Max Weber (veigh-burr)

Simone Weil (zee-moan veigh)

Elie Wiesel (eel-ee vee-zell)

Ludwig Wittgenstein (vitt-genn-shtein)

Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (wood-house)

David Wojnarowicz (voy-nah-roh-vitch)

Hermann Wouk (woke)

Woyzeck, Büchner play (voight-zikk)

Joseph Wright of Derby (right of dahr-bee)

Y

William Butler Yeats (yates)

Yerkes Observatory (yer-keys)

Yoknapatawpha County, Faulkner setting (yolk-nuh-pah-taw-fa)

Z

Robert Zajonc (zai-unts)

Slavoj Žižek (slah-voi zhee-zhek)

Andrzej Żuławski (ahn-drey zhu-wavv-ski)

1 Portuguese has a much more complicated phonetics than English & so these are especially approximate.

2 Because Giacometti was from the Italian-speaking part of Switzerland a kind of second order snobbishness has descended on the pronunciation of his name. Most people who would judge you pronounce it as you would in Italian (jah-coh-mett-ee) but an inner-inner circle insist on correcting even these people with the Swiss-Italian pronunciation listed here.

3 The pronunciation of the -ch as soft instead of hard, unlike every other instance in German, was contrived after the philosopher’s death to avoid a near-homophony with that language’s word for ‘fuck.’

4 The last syllable doesn’t have an English equivalent but rhymes with the French pronunciation of Jean’s.

5 The first letter (qaf/qof/ق) has no equivalent in English or any other Western language and is more glottal than either of the sounds starting these approximations.

More? Better phonetic versions?

Literary Birthday - 11 December 

Happy Birthday, Ayelet Waldman, born 11 December 1964

Ayelet Waldman - Eight Quotes On Writing & Reading

  1. Forget discovery. Think about discipline. Writing is a habit – a physical habit. You can’t wait for the muse – you must just sit down at the same time every day and do your work. Remember Anne Lamott’s fabulous advice: All you need to do is write a shitty first draft. That’s it. The rest – good drafts, publication, etc. – will follow.
  2. Jane Austen taught me that you can write elegantly and with great humor about traditionally female concerns. Marriage, family, love.
  3. I have no rituals, but I have a phobia. I hate desks. I write in an armchair or on a couch, with my laptop on my lap. That’s probably why I have so many repetitive stress problems!
  4. Writing saved me when I left my job to be with my kids. It was the distraction I needed, the thing I had that was separate from the kids.
  5. While I’m working I listen to minimalist classical music pretty much exclusively. Steve Reich is my favorite. There’s a piece called “Music for 18 Musicians” that I will always listen to when I’m stuck on something.
  6. I’ve always written about maternal ambivalence. It’s the subject that consumes me.
  7. Names are important in terms of how you construct your characters’ identity, … But the First Amendment is more important than anything.
  8. I only have one rule when it comes to fiction: I don’t read writers that are worse than me. And that leaves so much to read. I’ll never run out of books.

Ayelet Waldman, a former public defender, is married to fellow author, Michael Chabon. She broke out with her series of Mommy-Track mysteries. She wrote the beautiful stand-alone novels Daughter’s Keeper and Love and Other Impossible Pursuits.

by Amanda Patterson for Writers Write