shout out to people who have really morally wrong intrusive thoughts! people who know those things are wrong and can’t stop thinking about them, people who are disgusted by themselves. you aren’t disgusting! those thoughts aren’t you and you can’t control them! it’s ok, you’re a good person.
Hey dude. How’s it hanging? Bodacious. So, how was your trip? Woah, sounds like you really had a smoking time. You know, I know that your life can be a bummer sometimes and you have to deal with major dweebs at work, so I’m glad you could get out and get a sweet Vacay. It’s nice to get away from all the bogusness sometimes. Thanks, I love you too. Well, Hombre, you ready to get this show on the road? Slammin’. Let’s crank up some major tunage. Yeah. Yaah. Ooah. Hoohoohaohah. Rouhauhah. Woowoah. Nygeyynmyayayyyahahah. Myet? Ruhu. Wadadadadaaa. Cowgmynaah. Nobluuhhbluuhbluuh… Creaoh. Houhhuhuhu. Gra. Yahaa. Nymgaahygah. Dushaa. Ololololoaiby? Gjishaas. Tskafaa. Yahehohow. No. Howre. Gigegiyahaah. Hey. Mnhyeeho. Dilleyahaa. Mmgah. Dulurioluho. Yes ha how. Aye, yay. Hoohoohey. Ohlolollollay. Whorunbaybay? Haahhahaheyaah! Youhoohooohoonyraah! Yayhah. Roohoohum. Yaeyaohoho. Nyanyanyaohoah. Mynahonunuuhuhuhuuhuhu. Ohwloololoonyeahey. Well, Dudeski. I guess we’re finally here. Yeah, It’s always a jam to kick it with you too, my main monkey. Remember to drink plently of fluids. Stay loose, bro.
(i’m doing their first and last SOLO lines, bc then over half of the firsts are “four jews in a room bitching” and the lasts are “and godchild to the lesbians from next door!”)
L: “…my friend.”
L: (alive!) “To Jason’s bar mitzvah!” OR “Thank you.”
(dead!) “There are no answers but what would I do?”
L: “Vie-eme-low yea-o-leh. Heh-oh-non vi-low. Ah-yis-is-ooh ay-is-ro-ale Ha-ooh low toe vo-o-meem aboh” (got the pronunciation off genius bc i’m not jewish and don’t know any hebrew so sorry!)
F: “Whadda they do for love?”
L: “This is where we take a stand. Welcome to Falsettoland.”
F: “Slavery! SLAVERY!”
L: “And aren’t things lovely?”
F: “Woman internist”
L: “I think perhaps I’m overdressed.”
F: “SHIKSA CATERER!”
L: “I think perhaps it doesn’t matter that you are.”