I hate having the constant feel of anxiety roaming just barely underneath my skin. Its like being on a constant adrenaline high. Except it not fulfilling or satisfying at all. Its like ice cold death seeping out of my veins and burning, flaming acid drenched on my skin, while the gravitational pull of the earth settles itself on my heart. It takes every ounce of unknown willpower to not to scratch out my heart and give it as peace offering to some deity to make it stop. To push air forcefully back into my lungs and keep it there. Because I'm exhausted from fighting off breathing like its a plague. I just want to breathe, I just want to inhale.

Sorry guys
Anxiety sucks
Had an panic attack and i was alone
Needed to get this off my chest

White Flag

Echoing through the hall, you can hear the foot steps of a regime, the very same one that I saw in my dream.  The ones bombarded with a collective scream of a kingdom hidden behind a screen.  With our eyes opened wide, we’re still stuck in the darkness, but it is all we don’t have that we will always try to harness, and because of that, we will bleed ourselves dry and dare to ask ourselves why our mother and father cry.  Not because we have failed, not because we are weak, but because their little boy has forgotten how to speak.  Speak.  Speak to the ones who are weak and bleak and crippled by defeat.  Shout to the ones who made you craft your surrender, for this story is the wench who killed us, now we must end her.  End her reign over all that we are, fight for our land, near and far, I’ll hold up high this filthy old rag and use it to soak the blood with the old white flag.

- Michael. R


Today was not fun day. I didn’t get much sleep which did not help . I had and test in math today and when I take a test I don’t remember anything. So I was stress about that. Then I went to my space science class which raises my anxiety level through the roof. I was ok until I went to see my math teacher to help out. Then it went all down hill and I went for a walk. I was doing so good the last time I had a panic attack was in July . So yea that happened.

Oh MY God

So i start school exactly a week from today and i havent been able to sleep ALL night because im getting chest pains my anxiety is so bad about going back. 

All of my friends left me because i guess their parents hate me, and because i have with drawn allot because of my depression so im basically going back to no one. 

Did i mention, this is my third year in the ninth grade because im so afraid of school i dont go? Ughh. Im so scared im not going to pass again this year.