axis 2p

Things only in Hetalia

• An entire religion based on a character.

• Hetaoni and Dreamtalia.

• Gutters and Danish Slaughterhouse

• 23.5

• Being able to trigger an entire fandom at the mention of Davey, Pineapples, and Jeanne D'arc

• 5 minute episodes, 4 seasons.

• Russia’s hands.

• 2p Hetalia

• The elusive 3p Hetalia

• Fucking micronations

• Direct 3rd wall breaking like in the office

• Gay Countries™

• Every Hetalian suddenly knows how to perfectly cook pasta

• Vocaloids made for the characters in Hetalia; Hetaloids

• All Hetalians know at least bits and pieces of several other languages OTHER than Japanese like other weeaboos; Examples include German, any Nordic language, French, Italian, and Spanish (All of which I can say bits and pieces of)

• Ace-ing history class

• Asking your history teacher what Prussia is, and where Liechtenstein is, and if Sealand is considered a country

• Everyone can voice act well or do at least one good or great impression of a character

• Being able to name more countries off the top of your head than anyone else

• Dark Lord Hima

• Studio Dean Animation

2p's as april fools pranks

2p america: air horn. (96% evil)

 2p canada: kraft dinner as orange juice. (88% evil)

 2p england: mayonnaise as toothpaste. (10% evil)

 2p france: personal lubricant instead of hand sanitizer. (50% evil)

 2p russia: cups of water. (40% evil)

 2p china: soy sauce instead of coke. (99% evil)

 2p italy: key board garden. (60% evil)

 2p germany: play-doh as gum.  (80% evil)

 2p japan: switch out the chocolate chip bread for the cinnamon raisin flavor. (101% evil do not do this unless you’re tired of having friends)

The 2ps as shit said at my lunch table

2p America: “According to all known laws of aviation-”

2p China: With a heavy Taiwanese accent: “…. Shiiiitttttttt”

2p England: “OH FUGGERNUT I DROPPED MY SANDWICH” this friend won’t swear it’s so funny 

2p France: “Mangez mon cul.” //dabs

2p Russia: “Swearing is gross which is why I don’t swear now shut the fuck up and let me eat.”

2p Canada: “I forgot the word… À la papetaria or some shit like that I don’t know I don’t speak French.”

2p Italy: “pasSA LA PASTA” //queue laughing at it for like 5 minutes

2p Germany: “Okay but honestly the German tree on duolingo can eat my ass.”

2p Japan: “I vape straight up yaoi.”

2p Romano: “Mom yelled at me when I said I’d wear Gucci to grandma’s funeral.”

2p Austria: “Ah yes I see now. Your palm says that you’re a little bitch.”

2p Prussia: “Ah yes, only one more day until I livestream my suicide.”

2p’s react to s/o bursting into a room and asks to feel their freshly shaved legs

2p america: HOLY FU- , damn soft as a baby bottom.

2p canada: no I DoNNT WANT TO FEEL YOUR DAMn le- this feels nice.

2p england: Splendid! How did you get them so soft poppet?

2p france: *looks bored* nice. *silently to himself* mon dieu.

2p china: Kittin, any place else I have to feel hmm? ;)

2p russia: Yes very nice, now shoo, i need to work.

2p italy: CHE CAZZO RAGAZZA WHY THE HELL YOU BURS- mio dio *keeps petting your leg without saying anything*

2p germany: SCHEISSE- ohh. Might wanna wrap those legs around me so we both can enjoy them?

2p japan: *monotone voice* nice.

2p prussia: s-soft as a baby bird.

2p lovino: What cream did you use darling? The new one I bought you?

2ps as shit I've done at school
  • 2p!America (Allen Jones): told the French teacher to fuck off because she's been rude before storming out of the class (he dropped the class and joined another class which he wasn't there for the beginning of the year to learn about safety so he got 100s for doing no work because the teacher did everything for him)
  • 2p!Canada (James Williams): said the most sarcastic and low-key rude comments loud af but never got in trouble
  • 2p!France (François Bonnefoy): joked about suicide and dying so much the school did a suicide check on him
  • 2p!England (Oliver Kirkland): got out of school early for no other reason than to go home and bake
  • 2p!China (Zao Wang): asked his best friend to bring him weed (they ended up hanging out and smoking instead)
  • 2p!Russia (Viktor Braginsky): got a 105/100 on an assignment
  • 2p!Italy Veneziano (Luciano Vargas): got caught on a porn site while looking for memes
  • 2p!Italy Romano (Flavio Vargas): filed his nails during class without getting caught. Finger and toenails.
  • 2p!Germany (Lutz Beilschmidt): ran down the world language hall screaming "choke me daddy" in various languages
  • 2p!Prussia (Gilen Beilschmidt): always watched over the school hamsters whenever there was a break
  • 2p!Japan (Kuro Honda): used his phone for the whole class and got every question right
  • 2p!Austria (Roland Edelstein): brought in a book about witchcraft and showed it to his extremely Christian teacher

panicwiththegiant  asked:

The 2ps cat-sitting for a day?

2P!America: *cat hisses at him* … *he hisses back*

2P!China: *cuddling the cat* i love you forever you are my sunshine *cat struggling to escape his arms*

2P!England: *ties a pretty pink bow onto the cat’s tail* you are so precious  ≧◡≦

2P!France: *cat meowing at him* fuck off

2P!Russia: i am not fond of all this cat hair on my furniture

2P!Italy: *cat scratches him once* y o u  f u c k i n g  s p a w n  o f  s a t a n

2P!Germany: this is so boring, it doesn’t even play fetch what the heck

2P!Japan: *pets it once* that is all the affection you are being graced with from me today *five minutes later* come back i was not finished with you yet

2P!Canada: *absentmindedly pets it while watching tv*

2P!Romano: *holds it up like simba* fabulous flavi’s taking care of you today !! (▰˘◡˘▰)

2P!Austria: ah yes, a black cat, now all i need is a broomstick

2P!Prussia: “hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cat’s foot and need to be arrested”

anonymous asked:

All of their reactions to finding their soulmates? (Like that one prompt that goes around with the glowing heart image)

2p america: blood goes south, gets hot, can’t think of something else

2p canada: stares, blushes, gets clumsy

2p england: stutters, BLUSHESS, rattles

2p france: [hisses] what is this new feeling.

2p russia: i’m sick? Searches symptons on google.

2p china: makes lame jokes, rattles, blood goes anywhere but his head. (;))

2p italy: FLIRTING INTENSIVES

2p germany: (see 2p america)

2p japan: gets funny feeling in stomach, thinks he ate something bad

2p prussia: BLUSHING MESS, STUTTERS, C L U M S Y

2p lovino: flirting, speaks louder, shows off
Cinnamon rolls

Looks like a cinnamon roll but can actually kick your ass: 2p England, 2p Romano,

Looks like they can kick your ass is actually a cinnamon roll: 2p Germany, 2p America, 2p Canada,
2p Russia

Looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll: 2p Prussia, 2p China

Looks like they can kick your ass and can kick your ass: 2p France, 2p Italy, 2p Japan

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2p! Hetalia Axis and Allies!! Please credit!! Also, please like or reblog if you use them! Not both, like OR reblog. Tho, you can do both 👍👍👍

anonymous asked:

How would the 2ps react to a S/O who likes to make sweets and toast in the middle of the night ( like they catch the S/O doing that how would they react?) sorry for bad English My language is a family house used one! Love your blog!!!!

Isn’t aware of it bcs sleeps like a fucking log:
2P GERMANY, 2p china, 2p canada, 2p lovino

Is aware and gets irritated/worried by your little habit:
2P JAPAN, 2p russia

Is aware but doesn’t give a flying fuck. Hell, even helps you making that toast:
2P AMERICA, 2p france, 2p england