One More Smile
“Thanks Patton, talking with you really did help me through this.” Patton felt his heart sink, he didn’t want to go back yet.
“Really? I-Isn’t there anything else I can help you with? Cooking, responsibilities, questioning morals?” Thomas shook his head smiling.
“Nope! I’m done bothering you, I know it’s late and you probably want some rest.”
“Haha, y-yeah. I guess you’re right. I-I’ll just…go” Patton sank out and into the mindscape. His heart felt as if it was being squeezed, ready to burst at any moment.
I can’t avoid it. I have to face it, like always.
Patton walked to his room and stared at the door. It looked harmless, standing there and doing its job of holding everything that made Patton’s room his. And yet he wanted to break it down, shred it into a million pieces. But Patton calmly turned the doorknob and walked in.
“Woah! Why was I so nervous before! I forgot how great my room was!” Patton bounced around looking at all the old books and writings, a smile never leaving his face. Just stop. I’m tired. “Awww! Look at all of Thomas’ baby pictures! What a cute little fella!”
Patton picked up the pictures only to drop something else. He put the pictures down and picked up a small script. It was for the the musical Guys and Dolls. Patton’s smile faltered only for a second as a unnatural laugh left his throat. “H-ha..haha! T-that musical was a doozy huh? It’s a good thing it’s in the past!”
Please stop. It hurts, I just want to be free. Please it hurt so much. I can’t do this anymore! Someone please call for me. Get me out of here! Patton’s knees gave out on him as his shaking hands clutched the script for dear life. His smile hurt but it wouldn’t go away, and his laugh began to sound like sobbing as the room’s tinted glow turned grey. Tears covered his face as strained laughter continued to force their way out.
Please! Stop! It hurt so much, why?! Were we not good enough? What did we do wrong? I’m sorry I’m sorry. Please just fix me. The sobbing and laughter only stopped when Patton collapsed from exhaustion. The nightmares haunting and taunting him through out the night.
The next day Patton woke up and left his room to start his normal routine as always. Smiling brightly at the other sides. It was his job to smile, to give them moral support. So what if he broke down and his back and neck still hurt from sleeping on the floor? So what if he’s throat felt raw from all the screaming and crying he did? He was use to it. He could continue faking his laugh and smiles.
His room was very good at teaching him how.