awkwardness queen

Ridiculous ME: A headcanon

-Sara Ryder is an awkward musical loving meme queen.

-While on the Tempest, Scott is hanging out with Liam then sees Sara walking by. She has a data pad in hand doing some work, clearly very engrossed with whatever it is. Scott nudges Liam and says, “Watch this.”

-Scott pulls out his omni-tool and finds a famous song from a musical, then hits play with the volume low.

-He gently turns the volume up a little bit and Sara starts to hum along without realizing it.

-The song gets a little louder, and Sara realizes what Scott is doing. Without skipping a beat, she throws the data pad down and whips her head over to Scott, belting “Defying Gravity”

-She gets so into character that Scott can help but join in as Glinda and back up his sister.

-Liam is in tears. Jaal is confused.

-Sara will frequently threaten enemies by yelling “MEET ME IN THE PIT”

-Jaal still hasn’t figured out what pit she is referring to.

-Sara comes up behind Scott and will casually play Careless Whisper while doing the ‘Shepard Shuffle’. Scott will join in a pretend to  play the sax.

-The Tempest crew rolls their eyes and goes about their business. Jaal will stop and stare, trying to figure out why the twins look like they’re having seizures. 

-She keeps a pair of sunglasses on hand so when someone doesn’t agree with her she can whip them out and say “Deal with it” 

Visit To London

“Look everybody, its the other Maynard everyone loves!” Jack called out as he pointed the camera in my direction.

Rolling my eyes, I offer it a wave, “Don’t you mean the only Maynard everyone loves?”

“Uhm, excuse me,” He scoffed, pulling me into a side hug, “They love me too.”

“That’s only because you’re my twin.”

“Or is it because you’re my twin?” He asked, tilting his head, “Yeah, I think it’s because of me.”

“Oh, but of course!” I said dramatically, “It can only be because of you, Jack!”

“Exactly, now you get it!” He grinned, tossing my bag into the car. “Ready for a kick ass week in London?”

“But of course!” I beamed, buckling into my seat.

I had come to London to visit with Jack and Conor, although I was secretly hoping to also see Joe while here, even if my brothers had no idea of my little crush.

No one did really, except for Anna, but she knew how protective Jack and Conor got, so she was the wonderful little sister that I knew she was, and kept her mouth shut.

Jack and I chatted amicably during the drive from the train station to his new flat, and I could feel my excitement grow.

“What are the boys up to?” I asked casually as we walked into his building.

“I think some of them are actually inside, Conor wanted to be here when you arrived. And I’m sure they just followed him. We all can’t seem to spend time apart,” Jack laughed. “So I apologize in advance for any stupid comments made.”

“I’ll be fine, I mean, I grew up with you and Conor, didn’t I?”

“Oi!” My twin protested, pouting as we entered the lift.

“I say it out of love, Jack.”

“I’m sure you do, Y/N.” He rolled his eyes, still pouting as the lift doors opened onto his floor.

“Someone has to knock you down a peg or two. I know Conor won’t do it.”

“No, he mostly just ignores me.”

“And we all know ignoring you just doesn’t work. I mean, I ignore you all the time, and yet here I am, staying with you for a bloody week!”

“You just can’t get enough of me.” Jack grinned, swinging the door open, “Y/N’s here!”

There was a loud shuffling before Conor appeared, grinning, “Lil sis!” His arms open as he drew closer, pulling me into a tight hug.

“Hi Con,” I patted his back, “Good to see you too. Can you let me go now?”

“Clearly you missed me,” Conor drawled, throwing an arm over my shoulder as he lead me into the room, Jack grumbling behind us about being ignored.

My eyes fell on Joe as soon as they could. He was talking with Penny, Conor’s girlfriend, and hadn’t noticed me yet, so I took the brief moment to take him all in.

And that was enough to realize that my feelings were still as strong as they had been before, right before his eyes met mine.

“Y/N!” He smiled brightly, standing to come give me a hug.

“Hello, Joseph.” I smiled back, returning the warm hug.

“Nice to have you back in the city with us weirdo’s,” He said quietly, his hand lingering on my waist for another moment, and I could feel my cheeks turning red.

“I must admit, I’ve missed your crazy antics.”

“You’ll be sick of me in a day.”

“I doubt it.”

“We’ll see about that,” Joe winked, moving to the side so Penny could hug me tightly in greeting.

“So glad you’re here,” She told me, “Was getting annoying being the only girl in a room of guys.”

“Sick of me already, babe?” Conor smirked, pulling her back against him, kissing her cheek. I smiled fondly at my older brother and his girlfriend, glad to see them so happy, but also slightly envious as I wanted that.

My eyes drifted over to Joe once again, who was studying me.

“Alright,” Jack announced, breaking the moment, “Who’s hungry?!”

It seemed that over the next couple of days, Joe came round Jack’s a lot.

Not that I was really complaining, because I got to see him more often, but it was intriguing, and left my wondering if perhaps I wasn’t the only one to have secret feelings.

I had often caught him watching of studying me, a small smile on his lips. And it seemed as if our conversations had taken quite the flirty turn, a pleasant surprise for me. Even when we were all hanging out, or heading out for a night on the town, Joe found a way to be close to me, and I took every opportunity to be near him as well.

My crush had gone from liking your brothers older friends, to full on feelings for the man from Wiltshire.

I didn’t want to head back to Brighton without telling him.

“I have a date tonight,” Jack announced, walking into the living room where Joe and I were sat on the couch, exchanging theories about the movie that was playing, “So sorry, Y/N. But I’m ditching you.”

“Typical.” I rolled my eyes.

“A date, Y/N. Be a supportive twin!”

“I’ll be supportive if you get a second date from her.”

“Like that’ll happen,” Joe commented, and I giggled as Jack glared at the two of us.

“You two are assholes. Have fun being assholes together.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, glancing over at Joe.

“I figured you’d both be hanging out tonight, since I’m busy. You’re free, right Joe?”

“Yeah, I’m down for hanging. If you’re okay with that, Y/N…”

“Yeah.” I smiled at him, “That sounds good to me.”

“Wonderful. Now I feel less like a shit twin brother.”

“You’re still a shit twin brother.” I retort.

“Oh piss off.” Jack grumbled, heading back to his bedroom.

Joe ended up vlogging during our night together, causally joking about it being a date, and how the fans were going to go crazy. I brushed off his comments, but my heart raced, and my mind wished that it actually was a date.

After dinner, we ended up back at his place, figuring Jack would want his flat free incase things went well during his date.

“Want anything else?” Joe asked as I settled on to the couch.

“Nope. I’m pretty good. What do you wanna do though?”


“Wonderful! We can think of more crazy theories.”

“Everyone else always laughs at me for doing that,” He said as he settled in beside me, his body warm against mine.

“They’re just not as special as us.” I winked, grabbing the remote from him to choose a movie to play.

Although we end up talking most of the time, starting with theories and moving on to different topics, chatting about everything and anything.

Until I’m distracted by the lead female getting the big kiss at the end, a small sigh escaping me.

“What’s wrong?” Joe nudged my knee with his.

“I just…I want that!” I gestured towards the TV. “I want some guy to come in and sweep me off my feet, declare his undying love for me! Is that too much?”

“No.” I didn’t actually expect him to answer, so I turned my head to look at him in surprise, finding him staring at me. “You deserve all that.”

“I do?”


“When is it going to happen?”

“I can’t sweep you off your feet, because we’re sitting…” Joe trailed off, his head inching closer, “But I can tell you that I’ve liked you from nearly the moment I met you.”

“Really?” My eyes dropped down to his lips before meeting his eyes again.

“Yes.” He replied, and my eyes slide closed as he pressed his lips against my own, my hand moving up to cup his cheek, leaning into the kiss as it slowly deepens.

“I like you too.” I tell him after we’ve broken apart, smiles gracing both of our lips.

“That’s always good to know,” He chuckled, kissing me again quickly. “Or else this would be a very awkward grand gesture.”

“I’d still appreciate it, I am the Queen of Awkward.”

“What a coincidence,” Joe smiled, “I’m the King of Awkward.”

“What a perfect match we are.”

“My thoughts exactly.” He leaned back in, kissing me again.

My Social Anxiety

I can’t start a conversation, you have to or there wont be one. this makes phone calls and texting extremely difficult. I’ve lost contact with many friends that way. I dread ever having to ask people questions. I think what if everyone looks at me. That’s another thing, eye contacts the worst. In middle school I lived far away so I would always be 10 minutes late for first hour, when I walked in everyone would look at me, I eventually start just skipping and going in the bathroom until first hour was over. The teacher found out and told everyone in class. That made my year terrible. I absolutely hate when people ask me why I’m so quiet , I freeze up and don’t have an answer. It feels weird to say I have anxiety so I just shrug my shoulders. I hate confrontation with other human beings it makes me very uneasy. When I’m with a group of friends and other people are around I can’t speak. I don’t know why but I can’t. I recently moved away to a different school, I’ve been there for almost two years now and still haven’t made friends. So I skip lunch because picking a table to sit at makes my anxiety spike so i go to the art room and paint. There nothing worse for me than the feeling that someone talking about you. Im so thankful the internet is a thing. It the only place I felt free to just speak.