what if there was a surprise inspection or guest like some important professor comes in pretty late into the museum for a tour and larry is like OH MY GOD NO and he has teddy and sacajawea (the official Responsible Adults) frantically herd all the exhibits into their places and tells them to stand as still as possible while larry distracts the professor person as long as possible
so cue awkward tour through museum while everyone desperately tries to stay as still as possible (the professor keeps swearing they saw something move at the corner of their eye and- hey, wasn’t that statue over THERE a second ago?) and larry is trying to get them out as soon as possible because they are barely keeping this ruse together
things are going badly but nothing’s been blown yet
-the professor could have sworn that those lewis and clarke statues hadn’t been that close a moment ago
-wasn’t teddy roosevelt supposed to be riding a horse?
-why was there a fire extinguisher in the cavemen display?
-was the t-rex always in that position?
-pretty sure those jackal statues are glaring at them
-christopher columbus looks very irritated?? or is it just the professor’s mind playing tricks on them…
-pretty sure that lancelot figurine (why is there a lancelot figurine next to the easter island head?) just checked out larry’s ass
anyways, they get to the egyptian exhibit (one of the star attractions and thereby also one of the ones under the most of the professors scrutiny) and larry’s like “uh so this is the temple of Ahkmenrah, [he begins to obviously imitate someone, but the professor doesn’t know who it could possibly be] fourth king of fourth kings, ruler of the land of my- uh his fathers” and he’s starts melodramatically rambling everything he knows about egypt (basically repeating everything ahk’s ever told him about egypt) very loudly so that ahk can hear him (for two reasons: one, to show off, bc larry’s a little shit, and two, (tears alert) to reassure to him larry is still here, he’s not locked in, everything is fine)
and the professor is impressed like “damn you know a lot about egypt” and he’s like “WELL i have a friend who… really likes egypt”
“who is this friend?? i’d like to meet them”
ahk is suppressing giggles
“uh his name is… [insert reference here. josh. elliot. basically a made-up name bc he can’t exactly say ahkmenrah, can he?]. and he is… an egyptologist! yeah anyways-”
and he sort of gets off track (”he does this thing sometimes where like he rambles everything he’s thinking out loud?? but he only does it when he’s really tired and there’s not too many people nearby it’s adorable. anyway that’s how i learned in way too much detail how, exactly, that particular river plant could be used to kill a man in like a thousand different ways”)
(ahk is smiling in the dark bc larry knows these things and knows him better then anyone ever has- bc his brother went psycho and his parents were always more the pharoah and queen then his PARENTS, even they did love him very much- they weren’t the type you could spend hours and hours with talking about cute boys or herbs or philosophy)
and the professor’s like ‘wow ok obviously this guy has less of a passion for egypt and more of a passion for his ‘friend’ (bc tablet guardians if i want to, bitches) but it’s sweet’
oh my god
there is so much more in my imagination right now
like if ahk sneezed (bc the sarcophagus is very dusty and his wrappings are prob undone considering he was prob already half out when the professor arrived) so basically larry and this important professor are like chatting (larry is desperately trying not to sound stupid, but even if he doesn’t actually believe it he’s hella smart and capable so he only comes off as a bit awkward and the professor is very impressed) and the professor is like
“What was that”
“uhhHHHH well probably nothing”
ahk sneezes again (bc in my experience sneezes tend to come in pairs)
“it came frOM THE SARCOPHAGUS”
so maybe they gain a new ally up high if this guest is a good guy
(later they’re told ahk and larry’s ‘friend’ are one and the same and the all of the exhibits sympathize with the professor’s belief they are perfect for one another, despite the potential conflicts of one of them being a four-thousand year old undead egyptian king and the other is a middle aged single dad working as a night guard)
and when there are conflicts (someone wants ahk to go on tour through america, or someone wants to replace the sacajawea model with a newer one or someone has the brilliant idea of getting a wax figure of jean-baptiste for sacajawea so they can get that shit done) now they have more weight to throw around and get shit done or prevent bad things
or maybe not
maybe nothing happens (barely) and then at the end the professor’s like “well you are very well informed mr. daley, i’m impressed. so are you an intern here, or a professor?”
“uhh… i’m just the night guard”
bc he knows A LOT about history due to both research to deal with/help out the exhibits and the exhibits themselves, and he’s smart and intuitive and shit and the professor is just very impressed like wow
maybe mcphee comes along later like “it seems you impressed our visitor very much, mr. daley” and he’s smiling and larry gets like a pay raise which is great
When most of the fans in pit stood still holding their cameras, I didn’t use my recording device, just jumping and screaming and singing and waving my glowing baton violently, cause taylorswift was singing my favorite song Red on stage.
When she finished singing Red, Amos threw his guitar pick to me but it accidentally hit against the fence and bounced back to the floor, so I shouted feverishly like a psycho to the security man, “GIVE THAT TO ME, CAUSE HE[AMOS] THREW THAT TO ME, HE SMILED AT ME!!!!!!” I bet he must have thought I am a p s y c h o t i c girl with weird Cantonese accent… I strongly felt the juxtaposition of the calm security man / fans holding their cameras attentively and the crazy me…
I was too afraid to check out the videos posted online after the concert cause I felt embarrassed to see myself dancing. But after Shake It Off, I feel so proud cause I used every smidgen of energy and attention to dance to the beat and enjoy the concert instead of preventing my hands from shaking so as to record high quality videos.
— RED Tour, May 30, 2014 Mercedes-Benz Arena, Shanghai, China