regarding the Athlead storyline and people calling Pam “selfish”
So imagine you are married and have two very young children. You own a house (that you got a great deal on), you have family nearby (built-in babysitting!), and you both have steady if boring jobs.
A job opportunity comes up for you partner. It’s a start-up (i.e. not a sure thing) and it’s two hours away. You discuss it and come to decision that it’s not the right timing for the family. Your partner on a whim decides to take the job anyway.
You don’t love it but you go along with it. You even agree to investing a good chunk of money into the start-up. Then, again on a whim, your partner invests twice as much as you discussed, most of your savings in fact.
You’re really not happy about this but now you’re in it so you’re still going along with it. And your partner is going to telecommute so maybe it’ll work out. But telecommuting turns into them being gone half the week. It’s definitely a challenge but you’re trying your best so your partner has a good chance. (Even if they are baching it up while you’re alone with your two young kids)
You visit the start-up, it’s much bigger than your partner led you to believe and everyone around you is talking about how they can’t wait until you move closer. This is news to you and something that your partner hasn’t really talked about with you.
Your daughter has their first recital and your partner misses it because of this job, you mess up the video and this leads to a big fight that obviously has nothing to do with the video, it’s about this lack of communication that is dogging your relationship. And you’re upset because you never wanted this, you’re feeling left out of all the decision-making for your family, you’re feeling inadequate that this is harder than you ever thought it was going to be. And now this job that your partner took without consulting you, that was suppose to be a small investment of time and money, wants you to move from your family & friends and community you know, wants you to sell your house for something sure to be far more expensive, wants to send your partner on the road for three months.
But you’re the selfish one for wanting some say in yours and your family’s future.