awful hollywood

mnemehoshiko  asked:

I'm still waiting for Hollywood to make an Octavia Spencer and Chris Evans romcom that the universe desperately needs.

YOU MAKE FUNNY JOKES BUT I’VE LITERALLY WRITTEN THE SCREENPLAY ALREADY*

Although to be fair mine is not a romcom but more a fantasy adventure where Esterlynne (played by Octavia Spencer), a divorced mother of two, is ACCOSTED BY RUFFIANS while coming home from work; they start shouting and calling her Hope (and like, trying to super murder her to death). And at first she’s like “??????????” along with “!!!!!!” but the first once comes at her and she

kills him dead.

Which is a MAJOR SURPRISE TO HER because she took some tai chi classes at the Y a few years ago and her daughter is a green belt in karate but like, she does not know how to Fight, much less Kill People Dead. But the dude is at her feet with a broken neck and then ANOTHER one of the ruffians comes at her and she

kills HER dead

So there’s a lot of “??????????” and “!!!!!!” as she continues to fight these ruffians, and in fact after the first two she manages not to kill anyone else  (like this scene features her saying things like “no let’s not break his – well, okay, break his knee that’s fine” because life is about loving what your body is and what it can do, right, that’s what all those magazines say, and if your body can be a Death Machine Of Fightiness then like, maybe you just need to accept that??)

Eventually there’s only one ruffian left standing and she kind of sneers at Esterlynne and says “You thought you could hide forever, Hope. But the stars will always find you.“ And she disappears in a puff of fucking smoke and Esterlynne doesn’t have much energy to do more than mutter, "What the fuuuuuuuuuck, also hi my name isn’t fucking Hope jackass.”

She’s all set to call 911 even though like, she’s got some Reservations about the wisdom of doing that, and in fact she’s debating it when a car comes screeching down the alley, conveniently hitting a ruffian who was trying to get a shot off at Esterlynne. And she promptly runs the fuck away because like, helpfully murderous vehicles aside, she has already had a tough night and she doesn’t need to get involved in a hit and run on top of everything else. Only the car stops and out steps a tall dude who looks like every lantern-jawed nightmare Esterlynne’s ever met. 

And he looks around at the carnage and then at her and he smiles, which is probably the freakiest thing that’s happened so far. “Hello, Hope.”

So there’s a chase scene which should last about 3 seconds only it turns out Esterlynne is running? Really?? Fast??? And like this is also the 8 square blocks she knows best in the world so she can dodge and weave etc (especially humorous since her neighbors are gonna be like “when did you take up jogging — no okay that’s sprinting, what the hell,” as she bolts past) and the thing is that none of her neighbors seem to see Lantern-Jawed Nightmare Dude; like he slips past them and he’s a VERY CONSPICUOUS WHITE MAN IN A TRENCH COAT, OKAY, but they’re all just “Oh Esterlynne, probably forgot to pick up her kids from soccer” while she’s running for her life.

And she gets to her apartment complex and thinks she’s gotten away and she’s seriously out of breath and doing that thing you do (or at least I do) when you fantasize about the sweet release of death after you’ve gone running and she pushes the elevator button because you know what, yes she only lives on the third floor but she has EARNED the elevator today goddammit, and the doors open and

there’s Lantern-Jawed Nightmare, smiling at her.

So she goes, “Okay, you know what, FINE, whatever,” and gets in the elevator and glares at him. “I take it you know what button to push,” she says. “Even if you don’t know that my name isn’t goddamn Hope.”

“I know a lot of things,” LJN says, still smiling as he presses a button - okay, a button that definitely wasn’t there the last time she rode the elevator. “Including the fact that you are, in fact, our last hope.”

And when the elevator doors open - well, it’s definitely not the third floor.

youtube

^favorite interview

favorite quotes

-  “sometimes you hate villains, but you love that you hate them, and it finds this happy medium where you enjoy the process of loathing them so much that you want them to be there. it’s such a weird, twisted thing that our minds do.”

- “i had plenty of people tell me I’m crazy. turns out I am. and now I’m getting paid for it.”

- “[on mental illness] we have to talk about it. if we don’t talk about it, we continue to stigmatize it.”

chris wood appreciation week - day 6/7

favourite quote(s) or favourite interview/interview moments - chris wood live q & a interview + quotes

6

And some really good pictures from my Hollywood Undead concert too!!!!!! ❤ it was super awesome and I still smile when I think about it or look through these!! The guys were so awesome and sweet and it was definitely the most energetic concert I’ve ever been to!!! ❤

TAZ DESERVES A MOVIE FOR EACH STORY ARC, FULL PRODUCTION PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS, GIVE IT TO ME HOLLYWOOD!!! THE BALANCE ARC WAS AN INCREDIBLE STORY WITH REPRESENTATION, POSITIVE THEMES AND AN AWE-INSPIRING PLOT, PLEASE HOLLYWOOD!!! GIVE ME A GODDAMN BROADWAY MUSICAL BRING THESE BOYS TO LIFE IN EVERY MEDIUM! BROADCAST THEIR STORY ACROSS EVERY PLANE OF REALITY! DO IT!!!!!

8 Photos of Chris Pine and His Famous Dad That Prove the Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree
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Chris Pine has been making us swoon since he first burst onto the scene in the 2006 romantic comedy Just My Luck, but his very first TV appearance actually happened when he was just 3 years old. In case you weren’t aware, Chris’s dad is none other than Robert Pine - the actor who famously played Sgt. Joseph Getraer on NBC’s CHiPs in the late ‘70s and early '80s - and in 1983, Chris joined his dad on the show as a boy named Christopher. The two teamed up for an adorable duet of “Hurry, Hurry Climb the Ladder” and melted hearts everywhere. Of course, this isn’t the only glimpse we’ve gotten of their close bond. Robert often steps out to support his son at his movie premieres, and back in May 2014, the veteran actor said he knew “from the very first moment” that Chris would make it big in Hollywood. Aw!

Related
10 Lucky Ladies Who’ve Been Romanced by Chris Pine

8 Photos of Chris Pine and His Famous Dad That Prove the Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree

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