Just a list of my favorite things in this whole ordeal
- the trifecta of Markiplier personas made it in (Dark, Wilford, and the asshole, better-than-thou Markiplier)
- Tyler’s friggin Elvis costume and sideburns
- Tyler dressing up with a Mark mask not even cut out of the piece of paper it was printed on
- the fact that when you choose horror, Dark doesn’t actually give you four choices. He just gives you one that will move the story forward.
- Tyler and Ethan’s play poster
- the skeleton
-that big ass diamond that isn’t even attached to a real ring
-“close your eyes now. Bwoooop.”
- the fact that I’m pretty confident Amy was the camera person for most of this
- Chica got us all shOOk
- Ethan in a suit
- literally every time the quick transitions had to happen and it was so obvious
- I need makeup because I’m ugly
- Mark’s freaking sandwich waddle
- the fact that when you choose to eat pbj, Marks the one that dies because of peanuts
- the fact that they actually made Mark sit in front of a camera and dig for ten whole minutes
- “Just press X”
- the fact that exit doesn’t really do anything
-Mark’s extension wig in the jail cell
- the frigging pink crocs that are squeaky as everything on this green earth
- the fact that this happened. It was so good and I loved all of it
Rough Translation: Sakurai Sho’s, “A present I received from a guy that made me happy”: A Bouquet of White Roses from Aiba Masaki
I’M SORRY I JUST HAD TO SHARE AND SCREENCAP THIS AWESOME MOMENT… WHERE SHO SHARES FOR THE NTH TIME HIS UNFORGETTABLE PRESENT HE RECEIVED FROM MASAKI.
BLESS YOU SAKURAIBA. *BREATHES HEAVILY*
Note: By the way, Sho must have forgotten what kind of flower it was and said it was Roses, but he did mention in one episode of Hanamaru Cafe that the flowers he received from Aiba 8 years ago was actually a bouquet of Tulips .
Edited: Sorry, it’s not lilies but Tulips. Yeah, I forgot it was Tulips.
Julien: I swear to god. That’s look like a butt plug! Am I just imagining things?!
Now, on with the show! Roy: What about the latest episode? Julien: What latest episode?
Julien: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Steven U’s cute girls NOT KISSING! I’m your host, Julien Wright, and with me is the editor-in-chief and co-host, Roy Macintosh of Monkey Network. Roy: Thank you, J. It’s a pleasure to see such a progressive LGBT+ show where we have cute girls NOT KISSING. While Yuri on Ice outdid this series by a long shot, this is still a great anime to see and I’m glad to still be on board even when Cartoon Network is treating this show like shit. Julien: Thanks, man. Stay tuned for more as we see cute girls NOT KISSING.
Roy: WHAT is your favorite color?! Julien: Whatever these two are supposed to be. hmmmm B))))))))))))
Julien: Man, look at this Mickey Mouse head ass, ol’ blockhead chin ass, head looking like a wirehanger, shoulders squared bitch ass. Roy:………….I get it, dude. Soft and Wet was a great song. Julien: I SHOULD HAVE DOWNLOADED IT WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!!! [tears run] I’m gowing to teh curnah.
Roy: Okay, how many wanna bet Amethyst’s cover was blown over a fart joke? Julien: That is offer I don’t want to refuse.
Julien: But you know? If she had the voice of Rarity from My Little Pony, I would love her a whole lot more. Random asshole: HAAAAAA! Brony. Julien: [WHACK!] Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you over the sound of me knocking your ass out. Also, free icons.
Roy: Tell me, Mr. Wright. Does it still look like a butt plug? Julien: Yes. I feel like it’s slowly coming my way. About to thrust itself toward me to places I never knew it could reach. Roy: I see. How did this thought came to be? Julien: It all started when I was knew I was gay. In Elementary school.
Julien: She’s channeling her inner Saitama. Random asshole: HA! You still remember One Punch Man? What a weeaboo. Roy: [WHACK!] Oh, I’m sorry. Couldn’t hear you over the sound of shutting your ass up. Julien: My soft and wet. [Purrs]
Roy: What if Ruby was actually right about a explosion happening and Sapphire couldn’t even forsee this? Julien: Sapphire’s mind would be blown away by this and they would bang harder than grindstone when they get home. Roy: You know fusion is not really an allegory for sex, right? Julien: Who said anything about them fusing?
Roy: Gotta love Ruby’s eternal flame of effort. Julien: It’s the Thousand Year Door!
Julien: Okay, who farted?! Roy: Do gems even have buttholes? Julien: They don’t need to eat, so I guess not Roy: Then why possess butts in the first place? Julien: Rated G fan service from the crew.
Roy: I love how the Peridot waits for Steven to strip his pants. Julien: Peridots are snobbish voles, but they can be patient.
We got nothing. A hug is worth posting.
Julien: What’s the dude on the right’s look for? Roy: He dreams of getting the bits. Julien: MMMMMMMMMMMWAH! Goodnight everybody!
Roy: So wait. They created Genetically Modified Fruit?! Julien: Only in fiction are they making real life look like shit.
Julien: Now hold up. I understand Rose and quartz like her were responsible for keeping the Zoo under Pink Diamond’s rule. What I don’t know is why? Fusion? That can’t be right because they should’ve know by now humans can’t fuse. A tourist attraction? Well that can’t be because it looks more like a lab than an actual zoo. So what then? Roy: Maybe Pink Diamond thought they could be her toys? Julien: What are you–
Roy: The reason for this? Julien: Uh, RueBeepBoop? “Yes, Major. ”Do the thing.
Julien: And there you go.
Julien: XD Look at these cute monkey people Roy: I can’t believe you just “XD”ed. Julien: I can’t believe it’s not butter.
Roy: Everybody loves Greg Julien: Lucky bastard.
Julien: They were never taught about rejection, were they? Roy: Who could teach them that? You? Julien: I was thinking you could, but you never try anyways.
STEVE! STEVE! STEVE OF THE JUNGLE! STRONG AS HE CAN BE!
WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!
also, butt shot.
Roy: My god. I don’t think any of them are the same. Julien: Which is weird since they’re using basic colors of MS Paint.
Julien: You know, I say Amethysts and Jaspers are the best class in this caste system. Roy: Buff as fuck? Love as strong as their spirit? Julien: You know it.
Julien: OH NO! It looks like Steven has been caught red handed. What is the Amethyst going to do to them? Is this rescue mission over so soon? What will happen to the people in the Zoo? Do gem have buttholes? What’s happening on Earth with Connie, Peri, Lazuli, and the people of Beach City? Roy: Who cares? Julien: Correct!
This is quite possibly the greatest thing I will ever see from this series and I hope to god they come back. I will pour all of my money to make sure the famethyst join the Crystal Gems or fucking die trying! This is all that matters to me in terms of this episode and this will always make me happy!
*leaves* Roy: DUDE! We got a show to do!…..ummmm. On with the show, kablamsters.
Roy: Okay, I love that the Amethysts and Jaspers are helping these two escape but…
I luv anneemayshun
Roy: I can never understand why they kept all these Rose Quartz. Now yeah, they were the glue that held the Zoo together. It’s obvious. But, since the Zoo is practically automated and since our Rose Quartz ruined the chances of trusting her cut, why keep them? Julien from afar: THEY’RE THERE IN MEMORY FOR PINK DIAMOND. Roy: You would think one was enough.
Roy: I just want to hug Blue Diamond. I don’t care about her past, or the fact she looks like a tear drop, she needs love.
Roy: I’m sorry, I just can’t stand Yellow Pearl. She hasn’t done anything really, but she’s got that slappable face.
Roy: As you can see, Yellow Diamond is concerned for Blue Diamond so she wants to lift her spirits. Then again, YD doesn’t like looking back at the past, so there’s a bit of uncertainty and mixed feelings towards showing empathy. It’s either that, or Sugar purposefully didn’t give a shit. You decide!
Roy: Yellow Diamond > Blue Diamond Julien from afar: BLUE DIAMOND’s GOT A BETTER ASS THOUGH.
“State your place, Sapphire.”
“My vision forsaw you sitting the fuck down, my diamond.”
“I see. Thank you.”
“Nothing less from our clarity”
“Do shut your mouth, Agate.”
“Shut it, Agate.”
“Oh ho. Well burned, you majesties.”
Roy: Man, if a Diamond ain’t stomping shit on Earth by the end of this season, the faith in me will be lost. Julien from afar: JOIN STAR VS. EVIL, MACINTOSH! JOIN THE BEST SIDE! Roy: I said later, man.
Roy: Now you might see Holly Blue Agate about to blow her mind, but let’s inside out this situation from her perspective. Rue Bee Boop
Rue Beep Boop: Yes, Master Mac.
Beep beep beep boop boop boop beep
I. Should have goddamn known.
Roy: To be honest. The spark in Holly’s eyes is what made this scene for me.
Roy: Okay, I love that their they were that close to getting the fuck outta there, giving us this gold screenshot, but…. the size of the ship relative to the interior FRUSTRATES ME! Julien from afar: RELAX DUDE, MAGNETS ARE RESPONSIBLE! RUE BEEP BOOP! DO ME! Roy: Hoe, don’t do it–
oh my god.
Julien from afar: WHIP ME HOLLY BLUE! Roy: I thought I was doing the whipping. Julien from afar: SHE WHIPS LIKE A GIRL! YOU WHIP LIKE A BITCH! BIG DIFFERENCE!
Roy: Well shit. If I got my ass beat that quick, I wouldn’t wanna report that to the Diamonds neither.
Roy: When the substitute teacher gets gracefully roasted.
Roy: Rue Beep Boop? Do the thing.
Julien: AND I’M back. Also, they’ll have no right to talk later on. Roy: Stop spoiling the season finale, please. Let ‘em have this.
Julien: I’m gonna hate myself for this. I just got back and already I feel like I’m tarnishing your reputation enough, Macintosh. But, the deviant in me just can’t unsee this and I– Roy: Shhhhhhh. Just say it. I’ll take the fall if necessary. Julien: I AM BASICALLY SEEING A BUTT PLUG GOING IN A VAGINA! YELLOW DIAMOND’S SHIP FIST IS PRACTICALLY THE CLITORIS AND THESE TWO CRAFTS ARE GONNA BANG THE JIGGAWATTS OUT OF EACH OTHER WITH THAT PLUG OF A ZOO! *hah* *hah* Thank you. Roy: No problem.
Julien: And so ends Steven Universe’s Daddy Day Care Rescue Mission (and Knuckles) Roy:….And? Julien: That’s it. Steven went to get Greg out of the Zoo. They got him out of the Zoo. Beginning and End. Roy: No thoughts? No final word from me? No cliches to end this on? Julien: It’s Steven Universe. At this point, I’m just waiting for Samurai Jack and Star vs. Evil to hook me up while this tear drops us the things we seek. Roy: Valid point. End this post? Julien: Yeah. End the post. Roy: Okay. Take care everybody and have a great weekend.