his confession playing it cool and saying stuff like “it’s the women, Father.”
He says he lets them think that they have more of a future than they do, and he
even gives a name: Gina. Dean presents himself as a womanizer who sees two or
maybe three girls at the same time, even on the same day. Dean says that it was
something endless that is “making [him] sick.” The Father tells him to reflect
on his transgression. He even hopes that Dean might have the beginning of some “serious
soul-searching” when doing this exploration. In other words, he wants Dean to
try to understand the reasons for his own behavior.
about this (that may or may not have been how he really feels), Dean starts to talk about the
real issues weighing on him. His biggest confession is that he doesn’t want to
die, that he isn’t ready. He’s been expecting that to happen sooner or later,
but now that he realizes his death might be closer than what he thought, he
“There’s things, there’s… people… feelings that
I… I wanna experience differently than I have before. Or maybe even for the
Do you know
what’s more important? Even the Father realized that the kind of feelings Dean
was talking about are romantic because he suggested Gina as the person Dean
could experience something different with. And what’s Dean’s answer when the
Father says that? “Yeah. I’m just starting to think that… there’s more to it all than I
the first name that came to my mind when Dean said that was Castiel. No doubt
about it! But I know the last time Dean mentioned people (who love him, by the
way), he was talking about Sam and Cas.
Dean experience feelings in a different way toward Sam? Easy! He could start to
see Sam as his brother and not as his responsibility. He’s never done that.
Since he was 4, taking care of Sammy, being Sammy’s father figure has been who
Dean is. Maybe it’s time he does things differently.
How can Dean experience feelings in a different
way toward Cas? Well, I seriously can’t think of any platonic, no-homo thing to
say, so I’ll spit it out. Maybe the “serious soul-searching” he needs, the one
the show’s been hinting at (with cake and Taylor Swift) includes Dean realizing
that… yeah… maybe it’s time to let himself love and be loved for the first
time. Maybe “there’s more to it all than [he] thought.” Maybe it’s time he finds his own Colette.