in a parallel universe isaks locker doesnt immediately swing open when even hits it
even needs to hit it again and again but it STILL WONT OPEN
so they stand there together and struggle with that damn locker with exceeding frustration
and even panics the fuck out because he just wanted to be Extra™ and Cool™ (”hey isak look i opened your locker with ONE HIT do you see these muscles im strong and muscular and also i love you pls date me”) BUT HE FAILED AND HE IS SO EMBARASSED AND ANGRY AT HIMSELF BECAUSE WHY IS HE LIKE THIS
“Tom, put daddy’s guitar down, please!” Holy crap. “Wait, JJ, stop poking Odette!” Christ, these kids are acting like they’re on crack. Where’s the
goddamn food? Where’s Jared?? “Shep, stop trying to do flips off the couch!
You’re gonna break your neck!”
Jensen finally gave up on his attempt to run in six
different directions at once and stood up, surveying the pandemonium playing
out in front of him. He and Jared had all their kids for the weekend holiday,
and it had been great, really great,
but it was Sunday evening and they were absolutely wired. They’d been waiting for their food to be delivered for over
an hour, and as the kids had gotten hungrier they’d also gotten grumpier, so
Jared (and fine, maybe Jensen would
admit he was a willing participant in the horrible decision) finally broke down
and gave them all snacks. Unfortunately, the only snacks they’d had available
were, of course, candy. (The fact that the only edible things they had in their
entire kitchen were sweet tarts, rainbow ribbons, miniature Reese’s cups, four
bags of gummy bears, a twelve-pack of Coke, and eight beers was totally Jared’s
fault, Jensen decided.)
But Jared had disappeared a few minutes ago, leaving Jensen
all alone to try and make sure the six (were there really only six? it seemed
like twenty) kids didn’t set the apartment on fire…or worse.
“Jared!” Jensen bellowed, and Jared popped his head out of
their bedroom. Jensen just stood there and lifted his hands up casually,
inviting Jared to notice and perhaps help
control the mayhem.
“I was calling the delivery place,” Jared explained as he
stepped out of the bedroom and walked down the short hallway until he was
standing right in front of Jensen. “They fucking canceled our order and didn’t
even let us know!” Jared’s whisper was angry.
“Well, that would’ve been helpful to know,” Jensen growled,
but he was less angry and more just frustrated, resigned to the fact that it
would be at least another half hour
before they could get something else delivered, which meant another half hour
of acting not so much like a father as a freaking zookeeper. He loved and
adored every single one of their kids, but there was a reason the original plan
was to just have four. Because having six children all within five years of
each other was…something else. Bang-your-head-on-the-wall, cry-until-you-laugh
“Okay, well, what else could get here quick? That isn’t
pizza,” Jensen rushed to add, knowing exactly what Jared was about to say. And
any other night, pizza would have been perfectly satisfactory, but it was
Easter weekend and it was the first time that all eight of them had been
together. Together without any other…family.
Jared didn’t offer up any suggestions though; he was busy
ranting to himself under his breath. Jensen knew with a sudden clarity that
this was not going to be one of those times when Jared just let it go. Jensen
could practically see the gears whirring in his head as Jared stared intently
at his phone. Jensen knew Jared had decided on a course of action when his
hands stopped fidgeting and he let a large breath of air out of his body, deflating
like a balloon.
Jared looked up at Jensen with a crease between his eyebrows
and his teeth biting at his bottom lip. He stared at Jensen like he was waiting
for his permission or something. Jensen just raised his eyebrows; it was
Jared’s choice, but Jensen figured it probably wouldn’t hurt to point out the
“You’re gonna get a lot of flak if you do it,” he said. His
tone was light but still matter-of-fact. Jensen had expected Jared to hem and
haw, or to groan knowingly, or to roll his eyes in exasperation; what Jensen
wasn’t expecting was for Jared’s eyes to be glinting darkly like he was coming
up with some evil master plan.
“Yeah. But…I think I can make it worthwhile,” he said with a
shrug and a smirk.
“Umm…” Uncertainty flashed through Jensen’s mind as Jared’s
thumbs tapped quickly on his phone. “Whatever, I’m ordering pizza,” he muttered
to himself with a sigh as he brought out his own phone and scrolled through his
contacts, finding their go-to pizza place and calling in an order. It only took
a few minutes, and as Jensen ended the call a Twitter notification popped up on
He groaned; he knew this could only mean one thing. Jared
was already back in the living room, his attention fully on their kids, so
Jensen took a quick second to check and see what Jared had posted. It was a
picture—a screenshot, actually—and the caption read: .@jensenackles and I
waited over an hour for @Favor for 6 combined kids. No phone call or text to
let us know it got cancelled. #NeverAgain.
Jensen had to reread it four times before it completely sunk
in. He stood there speechless; maybe to a casual observer it didn’t seem
conspicuous, but Jared had just publicly stated that he and Jensen were
together with all their kids—and no wives—on Easter.
The tweet was already racking up likes and replies and retweets
or whatever, so Jensen quickly scrolled through the comments. As predicted,
some were rude or downright cruel; most were supportive; and a handful were
people freaking out over the exact thing that Jensen was kind of freaking out
Jared had soft-outed them.
That’s what Jensen had taken to calling moments like these,
when one (or both) of them said or did something that just seemed to make their
relationship so blatantly obvious to anyone who was willing to see. There had
been many of them over the years, but over the last two or three—probably since
Jensen had moved to Austin—it was like they were rapid-fire shooting them.
Little rocks and pebbles hurled at the constricting and
reviled glass closet they’d been forced into so many years ago. And boy, did
Jensen love the look of those cracks.
“Jay!” he called loud enough to be heard over the whines and
laughs and shrieks of six little ones. Jared looked up at him from where he was
wrestling on the ground with JJ. Jensen pulled up the camera on his phone and
took a quick video, wanting to remember everything about this moment. “I liked
your tweet!” he said, knowing that his comment could be heard in the recording.
“Hey babe, I was just making a statement about poor customer
service,” he said casually, tickling their daughter into a fit of laughter.
“Yeah, well…” Jensen trailed off as he walked over to them,
bending forward and drawing his arm back at the same time so that he could be
seen by the camera now too. He dropped onto the floor and leaned over JJ to
give Jared a kiss.
“Eww!” Shep squealed right before jumping onto Jensen’s
“Daddy and Jensen sittin’ in a tree,” Tom sang loudly and
off-key, “K-I-S-do-bo-me,” continued, changing the lyrics halfway through
because he didn’t know how to spell the word ‘kissing’ quite yet.
“Where’d he learn that?” Jared asked, mock-scandalized. He
looked into the camera. “Oh, right…I taught him.” He winked as Jensen cracked
up and planted another kiss on Jared, his mouth still open and laughing.
“So that’s how you
spend your time in Austin without me?”
“Well, I try to do all the important things while I’m
there,” Jared replied. Tom tumbled over Jared’s legs and joined the group on
the ground. Jensen stopped the recording and stuck his phone back in his pocket
before it got stepped on by tiny but surprisingly damage-inflicting feet. The
three babies were sitting in their little baby seat-things, not able to join in
with the roughhousing but providing a very substantial background track. The
commotion grew when the doorbell buzzed, probably the delivery guy with their
Jared hauled himself up, Shep clinging to one shin and JJ
the other, and shuffled over to the intercom to buzz the guy in. Minutes later,
there was knocking on the door and Jared opened it immediately. Jensen appeared
with his wallet and Tom hanging onto him in a piggyback ride.
“Looks like you’re having a fun evening,” the guy commented
as he handed the pizzas to Jared and took cash from Jensen. Jensen had seen him
enough over the last few years of him and Jared ordering pizza to know the
guy’s name—Chris—and to have spent a few minutes here and there chatting.
Jared said as he tried to balance the pizzas while walking towards the kitchen,
dragging the two kids who were still on his legs.
“Have a good night,” Jensen grinned at Chris, who chuckled
and waved before turning and heading back down the hall to the elevators.
“Okay, guys,” Jensen spoke loudly to get their children’s
attention, “if you keep hanging on to us you won’t get to eat pizza—“
“PIZZA!” JJ shrieked and immediately released her grip on
Jared, thumping down onto the floor. The others followed and Jared grabbed
paper plates and napkins while Jensen poured drinks and heated up milk for the
“You know,” Jared muttered to Jensen, “I’m kinda glad that
stupid app screwed up our order.”
“Yeah? And why’s that, Padalecki?”
“Because, Ackles, now I have a good excuse when my manager
calls me tomorrow to yell at me about saying I was with you and not Gen.”
“That won’t shut him up,” Jensen pointed out, internally
wincing at the thought of yet another of Spilo’s red-faced meltdowns.
“True,” Jared agreed, then slipped his hand inside Jensen’s
pocket and whipped out his phone. “Actually,” he said thoughtfully as he looked
through something on the phone, “if I’m gonna get yelled at anyways, why don’t
I just go ahead and post that video you just took?”
“Jay!” Jensen said in alarm, but there was no heat to it.
Frankly, he didn’t give a shit if they accidentally (or not-so-accidentally)
got outed, right here right now. However, he’d imagined the moment to be a bit
more romantic and, well, epic.
“Yeah, babe, I know. I’m just kidding,” Jared sighed before
handing the phone back. Jensen smiled sadly and ran his hand through Jared’s
hair a few times.
“Soon,” he promised.
Later that night, Jared snored softly beside him as Jensen
lay wide-awake in their bed; he’d been unable to fall asleep for hours now. He
plucked his phone off the nightstand and flicked through it. His fingers shook
as he composed a simple but sweet tweet and attached a video to it. He stared wistfully
at the screen, his thumb hovering over the ‘tweet’ button for several minutes.
He finally let out a long and slightly-pained sighed as he hit ‘X’ instead,
deleting his declaration of love before anyone got the chance to see it.
Was the 3×11 stydia kiss romanticizing mental illness/panic attacks?
I get this question a lot. A lot a lot.
And to be honest I can understand why people think that or see it that way.
But for me, personally, anxiety is a very individualistic thing. Everyone suffers differently, everyone has different triggers and everyone has different methods of coping. For me, I can understand how Lydias kiss calmed Stiles down because when I have a panic or anxiety attack, I have certain “safe people” I trust who if they are around me, instantly bring me a sense of calm and safety. If I’m in a relationship with someone I trust and my boyfriend is around and kisses me telling me it’s going to be alright, and he is someone I can talk about my anxiety with and not have to hide it from, I legitimately will calm down shortly after he gets by my side. That’s just the way my mind works. Stiles trusts Lydia almost more than anyone else, and having her there, whether it was the kiss or not, makes him feel safe and therefore protected and calm. He has another panic attack with Scott when he can’t figure out if he’s awake or dreaming later in the season and Scott calms him down as well. This leads me to believe Stiles attacks are similar to mine, or at least his coping mechanisms are. He has to get away from crowds and find a safe person to help him breathe and calm down. It can be extremely effective. Plus sometimes just admitting to a safe person you are having an attack helps you calm down.
Also, I don’t know about the “not breathing” thing Lydia says, that might be true, but getting my mind off of my attack helps me calm down. If something happens and I can legitimately forget about freaking out, even for a few seconds, it snaps my world back into focus. Being kissed by someone I’ve loved for years might do the trick for me as well.
Again., I understand how people can think that it’s romanticizing panic attacks because many people don’t want to be touched or around anyone else when they’re triggered, but the fact is that’s NOT how it is for absolutely everyone. How you cope is directly connected to how your mind functions.