awake at 4 am

summer depression things
  • sleeping in way too late
  • “oh no it’s 4 am and i’m still awake”
  • mindlessly refreshing the same apps over and over
  • picking up a book only to put it down because the words aren’t processing in your brain
  • listening to the same three albums repeatedly
  • either eating every snack you own within an hour or forgetting to eat for like half the day
  • “if i don’t do my summer homework it doesn’t exist”
  • wearing the same sundress three days in a row
  • watching your friends hang out with each other as you stay at home and stare at the wall
  • consistently forgetting to respond to people who text you
  • reminiscing over past summers and how much fun you had then
  • wanting the school year to start but also feeling Crushing Anxiety when you think of how soon it is
  • drinking like a gallon of water every hour or not having any water all day and dehydrating
  • unbrushed hair
  • lying down on the floor
  • “what day is it today”
  • mosquitoes make you feel downright murderous
  • watching movies only to get distracted
  • even sitting around at home makes you tired
  • this is not fun
The Signs As Times
  • aries: 4 AM // when you're the only one still awake
  • taurus: 12 PM // when the sun shines in exactly the right place
  • gemini: 2 AM // sweaty bodies molding together on the dance floor
  • cancer: 1 AM // when you're visiting memory lane and going through photo albums
  • leo: 10 PM // the feeling when you're take the long way driving home just to sit peacefully and listen to music
  • virgo: 2 PM // when you get to relax for the first time with a good book as rain showers on the roof
  • libra: 5 AM // the sun and moon rising and setting as everyone else is asleep with empty streets
  • scorpio: 3 AM // laying awake in bed with your partner as you laugh, talk, kiss, all night long
  • sagittarius: 7 AM // first waking up in the morning and opening the blinds to the sun shining and wind slightly moving
  • capricorn: 9 PM // slowly falling asleep after a long day while watching an '80s rom-com
  • aquarius: 8 PM // the feeling of sinking down in the bath and closing your eyes as the hot water with bubbles soak into your skin
  • pisces: 6 PM // finally getting home and being able to just flop on your bed/couch
How fascinating it is that there are millions of people all over the world who are wide awake at 4 am missing someone. And there are millions of people sound asleep at 4 am, with no idea that they’re being missed.
—  please come back
i. I’m trying to let you go, but every day it feels like an old record on repeat; a beautiful start with the same ending 
ii. I’m trying to do things I wouldn’t usually do, like write songs instead of poems and paint instead of drawing but every curve of my pencil still ends up spelling your name 
iii. I’m trying to sleep earlier and read more often but no matter how hard I try I still lie awake at 4 am missing you and wishing you were missing me too
iv. I’m trying to open my eyes to new perspectives, see the world differently and find peace in everything but no matter what I do I can’t help but see the colour of your eyes and the shape of your smile in every fucking piece of nature 
v. I’m trying to open up more, come to terms with what happened and realise it’s permanent but I can’t help but get a jolt in my stomach every time my phone vibrates hoping it’ll be you, coming back 
vi. And I’m trying. God I am fucking trying. But this pain seems endless and the thought of you is starting to make me feel sick. I miss you more each day and I don’t know how much more of can take of this but god 
vii. I’m trying
—  dissociatingx, try a little harder

plaid as a fabric has such a weird Rich history like this is such a .strange thing to be thinking about butits 4 in the morning and i know a lot about this so yes i just think its cool i mean it went from being the way the gaelic scots displayed their fealty to their clan to a staple of catholic school uniforms to the shirt of the classic lumberjack to the Notable everyday-wear of lesbians thats some dynamic fabric right there god i love plaid

Guys we all know who is truly piloting Blue while Lance is in Red

It’s Kaltenecker I mean Blue would only let someone so dear to her son pilot her in his absence 

3

(ノ `・∀・)ノ゙