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This is Comic Con in a nutshell.

This is the greatest video I ever watched…

anonymous asked:

“great. perfect. nice. fuck this.” spideypool!!

Peter was more exhausted than he had been in weeks. He had been so good about sleep lately–he had even made a schedule to keep himself from having another falling-asleep-during-an-acid-lab incident–but this week had decided to be a serious dick to him.

So he found it perfectly understandable to skip his last class of the day (which was advanced mechanical engineering, so it wasn’t like he couldn’t catch up later) in favor of going home and napping. Because he had almost used his phone as a coffee stirrer an hour ago, and that seemed to make it clear the coffee wouldn’t really cover only having six hours of sleep in the past two nights combined. 

Peter yawned for about the millionth time that day and scrubbed a hand over his face as he walked up to his apartment door. He started to lazily pat at his pockets for his keys with his other hand–and came up empty.

He frowned and patted himself down again. No jingle. No pointy key-ends. Frowning harder, he dropped his backpack and started to paw through it, even though he rarely kept his keys anywhere but his pockets (they’d been stolen from his backpack once and he still wasn’t over it). Unsurprisingly and unfortunately, he came up with nothing.

Peter briefly felt the urge to cry. All he wanted was a nap. He thought back through his day. He didn’t take them out when he was in the coffee shop–he didn’t even sit down. From what he could recall, he didn’t take them out in class either (because why would he?). Which left him with one, horribly stupid option–they were still sitting on his kitchen counter.

Inside his apartment. Because he was an idiot. 

Great. Perfect. Nice. Fuck this.” he snapped at the door.

Despite being a functional adult who could deal with this problem in a rational way, Peter was very tired. So he did a rather petty thing and kicked his door, hard. 

Crying was seeming like an increasingly appealing option. Peter’s landlord already didn’t like him. He didn’t need to give him another reason to think he was a bad tenant (which, to be fair, he was, because with his superhero agenda–and his superhero friends–his apartment had been through a lot) by saying he’d lost his keys…again.

Peter sighed and sat down, leaning against his door and throwing his backpack next to him. He honestly didn’t think he had the energy to suit up and climb up to his window. He wasn’t even sure he would be able to find his window.

But he still needed to get in his apartment. Maybe he could magically learn how to pick locks without any effort. Or he could see if any of his neighbors would pick his lock for him–

Wait. I know someone who can pick locks.

Peter was both suddenly grateful and suddenly dreading what he knew he had to do. He sighed very hard and pulled out his phone and for the first time EVER dialed a number he never thought he would need to.

After two rings, he got an answer.

“Deadpool speaking.” Wade’s voice growled at him.

“Wade? It’s–Spider-man.” Peter awkwardly finished, almost just saying ‘Peter’.

The change in Wade’s tone was instant. “Yo, Spidey!” he screeched.

Peter winced and immediately regretted his decision. “Hi, Wade. I need a favor.”

“…Is it a murder-y favor? Because I’ve been trying not to do that so much and–”

“It’s not a job, Wade. I’m locked out of my apartment and I need you to pick my lock.”

There was a pause, and Peter swears he heard a snicker. “Did you web your keys to the wall or something?” Wade joked, then started to poorly cover up a laugh.

“I’m hanging up.” Peter snapped, and started to.

“Wait, wait!” Wade shouted, and Peter didn’t hang up. “I’ll help you, Spidey. Can you text me the address?”

“Yeah. Please show up before I have to sleep in my hallway.” Peter requested, then hung up. He typed out his address and sent it to Wade, who responded with a thumbs-up emoji, a winking-tongue-face emoji that Peter never understood, and informed him he’d be there in fifteen minutes.

Peter sighed and pulled out his Spider-man mask from his backpack. He really didn’t want to put it on, but Wade didn’t know his identity and Peter didn’t really think trusting him with it was a good idea.

Then again, he had just given him his address. That was almost worse, in a way. Wade was unarguably the most unstable man he knew, and he was coming over to pick Peter’s lock for him. 

Peter briefly wondered if this was how he was destined to die. Not by some super-villain, but by letting a crazy person know his address. 

I’m literally letting an axe-murderer into my house. Oh my god, this is how I die.

Peter was still busy imaging scenarios of Wade brutally murdering him when Wade showed up and raised an eyebrow at Peter’s sad scene. He was wearing jeans and a hoodie, which was surprising, though he still had both his mask and gloves on.

“Spidey?” he asked, then it clicked why Wade was looking at him funny.

Peter had forgotten to ever put his mask on.

“Uh, yeah. Hi, Wade.”

Wade suddenly slapped a hand over his eyes. “You forgot your mask.”

Peter sighed. “I guess I did. But I also gave you my address, so I figured if you were gonna murder me I couldn’t stop you.”

“What?”

“Never mind. I’m tired. Please break into my apartment so I can sleep.” Peter said, gesturing at the door handle by his head.

Wade chuckled and walked over. He knelt down next to Peter and started to work on the lock with a bunch of tools that looked like torture devices. “So, not that I’m complaining, but why did you call me for this? You’ve never even used my number before.”

“Long story short, my landlord hates me already and everyone else would never let me live down leaving my keys in my apartment and not realizing it until now.”

That’s fair.” Wade shrugged, then the door made a click and Wade turned the handle, and to Peter’s sleepy amazement, it opened. “Ta-da. All better.”

Peter gaped at how fast Wade had done that. After a second of chuckling at him, Wade offered him a hand. Peter took it and was heaved to his feet. He grabbed his backpack and entered, expecting Wade to follow.

But he didn’t. Wade stayed in the doorway, rocking back and forth on his feet.

Peter turned back and looked at him. He looked like a lost puppy. Well, a lost puppy who was trying to see as much as he possibly could from a doorway. Peter sighed. “Just come in.”

Wade giggled and ran in, immediately going everywhere. “I’m in Spider-man’s apartment!”

Peter slowly followed him, eventually ended up in his bedroom, where Wade was fiddling with things on his desk. “Don’t break anything.” he ordered, then promptly collapsed onto his bed face-down.

After a moment, he felt a weight on the other side of the bed. “Aw, is Spidey sleepy?” Wade cooed.

“Fuck off.” Peter snapped, and Wade laughed.

“That’s fair. I like your apartment, by the way. Tasteful.”

Peter snorted. “Does it accurately show off my college student budget?”

“Impeccably.” Wade said, flopping down on the bed next to him. “Dude, how old is this mattress?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it witnessed JFK’s murder, to be honest.”

Wade laughed, then they fell into silence. Peter was honestly half-asleep before Wade broke the silence again, and even then he didn’t really wake up. “Should I go?”

“Hmm?” Peter asked, turning to look at him.

“Should I leave? You seem about two seconds away from hibernation.”

Peter shrugged. “Probably. I’m gonna sleep for about fifty hours now.”

Wade smiled at him and sat up. “That’s fair. See you on your next patrol?”

“Considering you know where I live, I don’t think I can stop you from showing up to all of them.”

“Probably not. Sleep well, Spidey.”

Peter just hummed an answer and snuggled deeper into his pillow, listening to Wade’s footsteps get fainter–then get louder again.

Wade poked his head back into Peter’s room. “For the record, I like your face.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Go home, Wade.”

“It’s a nice face. Excellent face. That hair is killer. Do you condition?”

Wade.”

Right, right. I’m going. Call me if you need a number for an actual locksmith, baby boy.” Wade chuckled, then left for real.

Peter threw his cover onto himself, rolled over into the spot Wade had made surprisingly warm in his short time there, and slept better than he had in what felt like years. 

|| backyard landings ||

{summary: what happens when a certain spider lands in your backyard?}

in celebration of my new username!!!

**please don’t repost/plagiarize this story**

——

“Siiiiis, I’m really bored! When can you start playing Mario Kart with me?” You hear your little brother complain as he rolled around on your bed, making you sigh deeply in response.

“For the millionth time, Justin, when I’m done studying! I’ve got about another hour to go, so can you please go back to your room and play until I’m done?”

Cue yet another whine from the eight year old boy.

“Fine!”

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spiderogers  asked:

Does Peter have any funny excuses for needing to leave to go be Spider-Man? And does he go get dinner (or breakfast, depending on how long he was out) from a restaurant in his Spider-Man costume after a long patrol?

Oh man, I hadn’t even thought about the excuses he must use!

  • Peter is a horrible liar. This is a fact of life. And in all honesty, I’m fairly sure Aunt May must know that he is Spiderman by now. 
  • But she would totally let him continue to make a fool of himself and get flustered and make horrible excuses on why he needs to leave. 
  • One time, May was watching the news while Peter looked through the fridge when he heard that the Vulture was on the loose, Peter abruptly slammed the fridge shut and yelled “PICKLES!” Causing May to give him a very confused look, “I need pickles! How could we not have pickles?!” And then he ran out and didn’t return for three hours.
  • When the teenager came back he did not have any pickles with him. When May asked, “What were you doing if you weren’t getting the pickles you so desperately needed?” Peter looked a bit panicked before saying “I-I ate them all!” May gave him a look, “You ate a whole jar of pickles?” She asked. Peter nodded quickly, “I was really craving pickles Aunt May.” He said before hiding in his room. 
  • Of course, Peter uses all the other excuses, “I gotta do homework, I’ll be at the library, I’m hanging out with MJ, I have a study group, I need to get some pictures for the Bugle, I’mma take a nap, ect.” 
  • But sometimes Peter gets flustered, and sometimes Peter’s mouth opens before he can think about what he is about to say. (he still doesn’t have that whole brain to mouth thing figured out)
  • There a few months back the Sinister Six had broken out of Rykers and then had split up and caused chaos around the city off and on for daysss, making it that everytime Peter so much as stepped foot in his house he would end up having to run back out again. 
  • So, unfortunately, for Peter, he ran out of his regular excuses pretty quickly. And that is when his big-old-stupid-mouth opened up. 
  • The first time it happened Peter and May had been watching a movie when suddenly he saw three police cars zoom by and he bolted upwards, and not knowing what to tell May he just said, “I need to use the bathroom.” And ran upstairs. 
  • The next time it happened was the day afterward. May was rolling out a pie crust talking to Peter about her day at work when suddenly he yelled, “Gotta go to the bathroom!”
  • This happened over and over on those few horrible days the Sinister Six were out to cause trouble for Peter. By the end of it, Peter had yelled that he needed to go to the bathroom about two dozen times in the middle of an activity with his Aunt, and on the last night when he finally put Doc Ock behind bars he flopped onto his bed to find a bottle of Pepto-Bismol waiting for him, placed there by his Aunt…

I’ve talked about the whole eating at a regular place a little bit here, but I’m always up to give out more Spidey head canons so-

  • Twenty-four-hour diners are Peter’s safe haven. They are a blessed thing, and Peter wants to kiss whoever thought that having a cheap diner open 24/7 was necessary. 
  • He doesn’t always have the money to go get himself food. But Spidey ends up really needing some sort of hot meal one night after a rough fight with the Green Goblin. He hadn’t eaten in at least 24 hours and Peter’s stomach was eating itself. 
  • So that is when the spider stumbled upon a little hole in the wall diner in the middle of Queens, with no more than seven dollars in his boot (yes he keeps stuff in his boots, don’t judge him) 
  • He had ordered the cheapest thing he could, the waitress gawking at him as she stared at his big bug like eye lenses. Then Spidey had let himself flop forward, he was probably getting slim and gross stuff on the booth, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care…
  • Then ten minutes later the girl came back with a huge burger a milkshake and fries, which Spidey told her he had not ordered because he didn’t have the money for this. 
  • And that is when she told him that he didn’t have to pay, no, that she would refuse to take his money, and that their food was always on the house for him. 
  • So that is how a random waitress no older than 25 ended up sitting down with Spiderman telling him that this was her father’s diner and that Spiderman had saved her mother’s life. Her name was Sabrina and she had curly black hair and bobbed her head and wide hips to the music as she waited on tables. 
  • After that night Spidey ended up going to the Diner once a week. Sabrina still refused his money and brought him too much food. But Peter would sneak her a tip by webbing it somewhere for her to find. (one night she found it and yelled at him to take it back)
  • Sabrina and Spidey have had a lot of late night talks, Peter waiting for his bleeding to stop as he sips on his soda and Sabrina looking at him with awe and admiration, telling Spidey about her dreams and talking about nothing and everything really, the chattering nice, light, and drowning out the silence of the night. 
  • Spidey ends up loving it there, and a few times he went during daylight hours. Meeting Sabrina’s mother, father, and siblings. Getting hugged so tight he thought he might break, and being stuffed with so much food he thought he might explode. 
  • Spidey tries to repay them however he can, years of free food isn’t cheap and he knows it. He helps the kids with their homework, and he helps Mr.  Marino with repairs and the remodeling/heavy lifting. 
  • After a while the diner isn’t just a place for Spidey to heal and eat, it’s a place to visit friends and to relax after a stressful day. It’s his secret hideout.

That got like way more in-depth than I meant for it too…

Mentor for Hire [Spideypool Fic]

ssree said: Spideypool: Spidey seeking Deadpool out to ask/hire him to be his mentor: teach him to fight and survive in this new dangerous world he finds himself in now that he has super powers. Also, welcome back~

Thank you! For the welcome and the prompt… I hope you don’t mind if I change it up a bit (hey sweetpeas, send me prompts again, after three long months I’m gonna write fanfics again)

Peter stopped on his heels, rolling back as his eye caught on the bright red poster stapled haphazardly to the telephone pole next to him. 

“SUPERHERO MENTOR FOR HIRE! DEADPOOL’S THE NAME KILLING BADDIES IS THE GAME” followed in small print with: “it’s actually not a game, it’s a job and a good thing to do” with even smaller print below: “not actually a superhero or a mentor, any accidents or injuries in the field are not the fault of Deadpool please don’t sue me.”

He reached out and tore down the poster, shoving it into his bag before carrying on down the street to the library where he was going to meet Gwen to study for their first ever college midterms.

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AN: This is my first time writing Spiderman, and it’s been forever since I’ve seen the movies. SO, this will still be the same version of Spiderman as put in the request, but it will be in the AVENGERS ‘verse. Okay? Okay. Thank you to the anon that sent this request in. *I do not own the gif, found on google. Please ignore any spelling errors. Enjoy!

Pairing: Spiderman (The Amazing Spiderman) X Reader

Prompt(s): 1.)Hey can you please do a Peter Parker spiderman Andrew Garfield one shot with lots of fluff and smut plz? thanks

2.) Peter Parker saving reader from Deadpool whos tryin to flirt wth her??

Warnings: Language

~*~

“Not Harassment”

This city was strange, you decided. Not because of the smells emitting from the sewers, the unique people that walk its streets, or anything else— no, rather it was the fact that this was the home of the Avengers.

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