if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments"
1) Coffee shop AU
Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee
I’m worried about your coffee dependency
you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over
me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E
you give me a different fake name every time you
come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here
I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino
Flower shop AU
You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m
concerned as to why
I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower
shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that
(this is also a good way to incorporate flower
meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)
You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m
tracking u the fuck down
I work in the library and I’m a little concerned
for your health bc you never stop studying
The library’s pretty empty save for you and me
and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere
Awful first time meeting
I accidentally punched you in the face when I
was too overexcited about something
I thought you were my friend who’s just done
something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes
pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you
and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole
You get the gist to this one
Oooh when you told me your name I thought you
were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things
got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)
Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general
We live in the same block of flats but haven’t
ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to
stand in the lift together
“okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a
weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going
to die aren’t I?”
A personal favourite of mine – first day at a
new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last
We keep accidentally running into each other I’m
not a stalker I swear
You live across from me in our apartments and we
smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re
the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable
“My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight
could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”
Friends to romance – pining and all that
You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for
advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you
I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex
You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious
about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really
miss it and fuck I think I like you too?
Somewhere along the way of getting into bar
fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship
things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING
Friends with benefits oh wait I like you
FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS
It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date
so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me
My homophobic parents are coming to visit will
you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?
There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will
you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?
I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d
stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in
too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP
The first words your true love(s) will say to
you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really
ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick
what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god
jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like the opening lines of uptown funk or a high
school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you
saw me asshole?
You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when
you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an
overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my
mind of a fucking unicorn
The more ridiculous the better actually
Something like whenever your soulmate sings a
duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band
but I can’t sing for shit
Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze
at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just
sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w
character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s
Alternate universes for real
Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand
why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but
what the fuck is happening
We live in a world where the greek gods are real
and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to
sort this shit out why do I love you again?
Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible
or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they
die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s
fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)
Literally any movie or book universe you like
tbh just go for it
Other aus that I like
I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has
to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck
at the top? Fuck
We work in the same office and you have a
goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW
IT ANNOYS ME
Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and
I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this
It started to snow and I’m the only one of our
friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others
would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who
don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my
back and declared snow war
It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still
November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the
tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the
grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in
love with them actually that works for established relationship too)
Current partner got a new job in America (or
other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s
not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)
You want us both to get in shape and I hate
working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do
for my friends and their nice asses
on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a
subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???
You’re an actor/other famous person that I
really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or
not to say hi you came up to me and
started flirting what do I do??
You were waving at your friend behind me but I
got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you
think it’s cute
I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking
but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think
it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh
I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk
guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t
dance with you omg let me find you some water
best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each
other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about
how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”
pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention
and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait
you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no
Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of
auing already I have too many ideas christ
i don’t trust anyone who says that the mcelroys (or any internet celebrity/famous person) is a “good x that can do no wrong” because you know they wont give a shit if they do something wrong and will fervently defend and baby them whenever they can
me: (is feeling depressed)
tumblr post: drink some tea!! get a plant!!! luv u!! uwu
me: (though that post didnt help me. im not going to trash & mock it. because everyones self care is different and those cute positivity posts actually help alot of other people)
Warnings: time-travel. Don’t try to make sense of it, it’s just fluff.
Sometimes, your soulmate came back in time to give you a pep-talk. Not that you remembered who they were and what they said, but the feelings remained.
This story is set during Bitty’s first year.
Eric was about to quit hockey. He would quit hockey, then quit Samwell altogether, and go back to Georgia his tail between his legs and prove right every single person that said he wasn’t strong enough for such a manly sport.
Jack had chewed him out again- in front of everyone.
Neil stopped counting. “You know, I get it,” Neil said. “Being raised as a superstar must be
really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human
being, not a single person in your family thinking you’re worth a damn
off the court—yeah, sounds rough.Kevin and I talk about your intricate
and endless daddy issues all the time.” “Neil,” Kevin said, low and frantic. Neil ignored him. “I know it’s not entirely your fault that you are
mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur,and I
know you’re physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with
anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don’t think any of
us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only
gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults
ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone.”
Jaws dropped up and down the line; Raven symmetry shattered as they
stared at Neil in stupefied disbelief. Riko’s expression could have
frozen hell, but Neil was too upset to be afraid.He’d have a nervous
breakdown later. Right now he leaned forward and looked down the table
at Dan, who sat with her face buried in her hands.“Dan, I said please. I tried to be nice.”
if i see fans getting mad at pcy for “working too hard” im flipping my shit baby boy does not work this hard and get injured for y’all to say “im so mad he overworks himself” he loves his job bitch tf do u want him to do i mean just say gws and shut up damn
Isak and Even hair drabble | what even is this tho?
I miss Isak, I miss Even…I wonder what they are doing right now…
I imagine that they are being goofy as always, showing their affection by arguing about something silly like
OMG like Isak deciding that he wants to get a flipping haircut! And Even is just like NO !!!!! FUCKING !!! WAY !!!! BOI. He is literally so offended and I mean this actually turns super serious. Isak kinda just said it one day like “Ugh my hair is getting so long, and it’s so curly and so annoying and I just want to chop it all off” and Even’s all like “lol don’t do that baby, you would not pull of bald. You’d look like a cute baby egg” and then he just kisses his golden curls and Isak playfully slaps him away while grinning “Shut up! I would not, I’d look like a fucking king”
Even just laughs and is like “sure baby”
but then of course eventually it gets serious??? like Isak brings it up again one day, like Even mentions a film he wants to go see and Isak is like “Oh let me know the time it’s on because I was thinking of getting my hair cut on Sunday” and Even just like freezes and is all “EXCUSE ME? wot da fuq” and Isak looks up at him and is like “yeah i mean i’m just gonna get it cut a little shorter so it’s not as curly and annoying.” Even’s hand (which was stroking all of Isak’s ‘annoying’ curls) has just stopped in his hair and he is just Not. Chill. At. All. he looks at Isak with his mouth all open and pouty “You are not cutting your hair.” he declares meeting Isaks eyes.
Isak laughs “what??” he shouts amused and surprised at the passion inside his boys voice over his damn hair. Even just tilts his face down and gives Isak his “I am not kidding babe your not going there, fight me boo” look.
and Isak just laughs before shouting “oh my gosh your being ridiculous! It’s just hair It doesn’t even matter EVEEEEEN!”
so then Even just thinks oh you want to fucking start this before smiling and nodding. Isak nods with pride thinking he’s won this fight befooooore Even says
“You know what? You’re right, summer is coming up and it just gets so hot, I think i’ll go and get my hair cut with you.”
OH DEAR LORD
Isak looks back up at him in horror “NEI!” he practically screams before he could rethink it.
Even’s eyebrows shoot up smugly “what? no? But baby it’s just hair right?”
Isak rolls his eyes and crosses his arms in defeat “Fine…fine no fucking hair cut. I hate you.”
Even rolls over and pulls grumpy Isak closer to him, holding him against his chest. “You love me…” He runs his hand through Isak’s prince hair and kisses it before whispering in his ear “and I love your hair.”
Isak smiles to himself and blushes. He would never tell Even but after hearing those words from the man of his life, Isak has never looked after his precious curls more.
Request: Would you be able to write modern “our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now” with Philip? Maybe with Theodosia x Richard?
A/N: Another one! So uh…I can’t seem to write. Either I get writer’s block or I just can’t find the time. So please be patient with me. I’m writing as quick as I can. Anyway, here was this request. I don’t think it’s too terribly old. Either way, I hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 3,884 ~~ You shut your locker at the end of the school day. Philip walked up and leaned up against the wall of lockers with a sigh. “We waiting for Theo and Richard today?” You asked.
“They did give us a ride to school today.” Philip said. His eyes were closed, resting after a day of classes. His curls were hanging down, brushing his shoulders and his cheeks had freckles all over them.
“We could always walk home.” You told him.
“Its a long walk.” He shot back as he opened his eyes to look at you.
“But you know how Theo and Richard are.” You whined. “They’re all couple-y and gross and I don’t want to deal with that.”
“You think I do?” He asked. He sighed. “How did our best friends end up together?” Theodosia had been your friend for all years of elementary and middle school. Richard and Philip had been friends since they were small. You and Philip had been friends your whole lives due to the fact that you were neighbors. All four of you were going to the same high school. Before that, your two friends had never met.
“No clue.” You answered. After that you heard Theo’s giggle, one that always meant she was with Richard. They rounded the corner, Richard had his arm draped over Theo’s shoulders. He had a smile on his face as he looked at her. You knew he had just whispered some flirty line in her ear. You gave Philip a slightly over-dramatic, suffering look. He merely smirked back at you.
bakugou: holy shit my stomach is ripping itself apart [smacks his own abdomen] EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU USELESS FUCK kirishima: aw man do you need The Talk bakugou: i dont need any stupid fucking pep talk its just some fucking cramps kirishima: i think you need the talk bakugou: ugh. fine. whatever. kirishima: YOU are the manliest man to have ever fucking manned in his life time. your body is literally just deciding that it has too much GRIT and BLOOD in it and just throwing it out for the fun of it. like “i couldve made a baby if i wanted to and heres the guts for proof” and youre just SUCKING UP THAT PAIN WITHOUT FLINCHING LIKE A REAL MAN HOT DAMN. bakugou: yes the fuck i am kirishima: do you even know what youre doing? bakugou: what the fuck am i doing kirishima: [with tears in his eyes] bakugou you masculine bastard your uterus is FLEXING. like a bear in a gym. just showing off its muscles. do you know how STRONG its going to be by the end of the week bakugou: HOW FUCKING STRONG kirishima: STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL A MAN bakugou: FUCK YEAH!!! kirishima: YEAH!!!!!!!!
I know it sounds weird at first but the fact that EVEN while wearing swastikas people DENY someone is a nazi is something I low-key blame on the constant hyper-exageration media has on nazism.
Don’t get me wrong, they’re fucking demons, but I mean how they portray it always as this 100% chaotic evil 24/7 guys that always go around directly murdering people in front of everyone and doing awful shit in public so EVERYONE knows how bad they are, talking like villains, expressing like such, going to the extreme point and while some are like that, ton of them are not.
Someone who is a nazi can look and act like a nice dude, they can be kind to white people, they can be kind to animals, they may look like a good person, they may even hide their ideologies pretty well in front of minorities, but they are still fucking nazis.
The trouble is that when people say “Nazi” the first thing a lot of people think is the example I said, someone who acts and looks obviously evil all the time, and not someone who is bad for their believes and their actions even if they are not directly hurting someone physically.
Nazis are all bad, no matter how good they look or how well they treat someone they’re not against to.