aw dear what have i done

anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm just looking for some advice/tips. I'm a new grad who recently got a job on an observation unit. I'm having a huge struggle with EKGs, even throughout nursing school and still now. One of the older nurses when I was giving report "ripped me a new one" because I wasn't able to correctly identify a rhythm and basically made me feel really awful about it. I feel like I should really know this stuff but I just can't wrap my head around it and I just feel stupid for not understanding.

Dear Anon,

First of all, the older nurses shouldn’t be ripping you a new one. So, on their behalf, I’m sorry you experienced that. What they should have done was offer to help teach you. </soapbox>

OK, cardiac rhythms aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some people just get them and others take a little more time to pick up on them. I loved cardiac rhythms and was fortunate to be able to obtain my ACLS as part of a year-long residency program while in nursing school. I spent three days learning EKG rhythms. It was tedious, but well worth the investment. I’ll try to pass along some of that knowledge here.

The first thing you have to do is be very familiar with the elements of the normal EKG. If you know the baseline, you’ll be able to better recognized the arrhythmias. Learning heart rhythms takes time and practice. And rather than re-invent the wheel, I recommend a couple of YouTube videos, each about 10 minutes long, and a PowerPoint-style EKG course that is long, but breaks things down in very simple terms.

YouTube Series: Part 1 | Part 2 

Basic EKG Refresher PowerPoint

If you take the time to watch these videos and review the EKG refresher, I think you’ll be much better equipped to interpret rhythms going forward. It won’t happen overnight, but with regular practice, it’ll come.

Hang in there and good luck!

Mursenary Gary

Originally posted by resident-crayon-box

Fake Deathes // Clone mini imagines


Rex knew the moment General Skywalker entered the room, that something was wrong. He was too tense, and the younger togrutan Jedi trailing behind him had abandoned her usual carefree smile for an uncertain look of hesitation.

Everyone in the room noticed, Rex could feel the tension rising in his brothers. The chatter of happy conversations slowly died down as clone heads turned to watch the Jedi walked closer to them. As the talking decreased, nervous fidgeting increased. That’s when Rex realized you, the resident special agent, his amazing girlfriend, wasn’t to be seen. He knew full and well that the rest of your team had arrived last night. Rex had assumed you were among the crowd that were immediately shuffled into debriefing rooms.

“Men, I have some bad news for you.” Skywalker paused, making eye contact with each soldier, but the Captain could feel Ahsoka’s eyes linger on him. “Agent (Y/L/N), was declared missing in action on her team’s arrival last night. After very extensive debriefs, I’m saddened to announce that our special tasks agent, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), has been killed in action.”

Rex felt his heart shatter, but he couldn’t let his men see him come undone. He tensed every muscle in his, stood rigidly straight, jaw clenched, with his eyes staring straight at the General. For once, the General wasn’t so easy to read. He didn’t look sad. He looked troubled and so did his Padawan. Both Jedi glanced to Rex, feeling the despair in his force signature.

That was the first night Rex had gotten blackout drunk. So drunk, Fives and Echo had to drag his ass back to the barracks when the bartender cut him off. Rex was one of five people who had ever been completely cut off.

Back at the barracks, Fives and Echo had pleaded Cody to help convince Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka to leave Rex alone for night. They couldn’t let the generals and commander see their respected Captain like this. Angry drunk, yelling at and cursing everything, punching and kicking walls.

The next morning, Kix had to bandage up bloody knuckles and administer pain meds. It wasn’t a good morning for the 501st. Most clones knew of the Captain’s relationship with the agent, but no one knew how to console the Captain. He lost the one thing that kept him fighting.

After a week and a half of this behavior, Anakin had enough. Ahsoka could swear up and down he muttered, “Fuck the Jedi council, this is just cruel.”

Marching into the clone barracks, Anakin ignored every trooper as they scrambled to attention. Ahsoka jogged after him, spouting “Attease.”es and “as you were.”eS.

Finally, the Jedi burst into his quarters. The Captain didn’t jump to attention, didn’t even seem to notice their arrival from his position, sitting on the edge of his bed- head held in his hands. Ahsoka had never seen any clone look so disheveled. Rex hadn’t shaved in a while and was a few days past a five o clock shadow. Creating a scraggly barely there beard. His normally well kept bleached, buzzed hair was looking worse for wear too. His natural black roots were coming through and the normally buzzed look was growing a little shaggy. And the worst were his eyes when he finally looked up. The usually golden tinted brown eyes, seemed dull. Dark shadows under both made the Jedi wonder if he actually slept in the past few days. The bags accentuated the shadows and added several years-decades- to his appearance.

“Rex, I need you to come with us. That’s an order.” Anakin commanded, trying to keep the sympathy out of his voice. As much as Rex wanted to say no, he knew he was still a soldier and had to follow orders.

“Yes, sir.” Was mumbled as the captain began to click armor into place and placed his helmet under his arm.

A very awkward and silent walk later, the 501st trio were in a dark comms room. “What’s this about, sirs?”

“It’s about (y/n). Rex we know you were…. close.. with her. We also know about the slump you’ve been in.” Anakin answered gingerly. Rex was stunned to silence, no idea what to say.

“And while I’m not supposed to tell you this, (Y/N) is not dead. She’s is deep cover in separatist controlled space. Which is why it was imperative that news spread that she died. I heavily disagreed with the council on their decision to announce her death to the public like they did, but nevertheless. I’m sorry we put you through that pain.” Anakin explained, but ended lamely with Rex still looking as sad as before with a twinge of anger. Ahsoka quickly interjected.

“Which is why we set up a comms transmission so you could talk to her!” The commander added, covering her anxious tone with a forced happy one.

The comm’s machine beeped, Anakin pressed a few buttons before speaking, “That’ll be her now. We’ll leave you to it. C’mon, Snips.”

A moment later, a hologram sprung up showing you. He was speechless as he looked at the blue colored hologram. Regardless of the blue tones, he could see your disguise. Your hair was cut differently and definitely a different color, or maybe it was a wig, behind thick glasses you were wearing some kind of colored contacts, and you’re makeup was done differently.

But you were still you, and you were giving him a weird look, “Rex? What are you- how did- Rex, honey, you look awful.”

Rex swallowed thickly, watching as you periodically check over your shoulder, “I thought you were dead, no reason to look good anymore.”

“Rex, I’m sorry, the chancellor himself put me on the assignment and swore me to secrecy. I couldn’t disobey direct orders, you know that.” You explained softly.

“I would have done the same thing, but dear god, what I felt when I thought I lost you… I felt like I was dying- getting ripped apart.” He confessed. His fingers were twitching; he wanted to touch you, hold you, tangle his hands in your hair-anything to prove you were real.

“I’m so sorry, Rex. I really am. That’s not what I wanted.” You choked out, on the verge of tears. That’s the last thing Rex wanted. You were checking over your shoulder more often now and Rex knew it was risky for you to stay in communications that long.

“I know, just be careful. When can I see you again?” He asked hopefully. You gave a sympathetic smile.

“I check in every three weeks so you’ll have to talk to Anakin. I’m using throw away comms.” You explained. “I don’t want to, but I need to go.”

Rex didn’t want to see you go again. “I know. I don’t want to either. But please be careful, don’t do anything I wouldn’t let you do.”

“I wouldn’t get anything done, baby.” You laughed through the tears. “I love you. This will turn the tide, I promise.”

“Go be amazing. I’ll see you on the other side of the war.” He smiled, reaching a hand up to your hologram, as if he could touch his hand to yours.

“I’ll see you on the other side of the war.” You nodded, placing your hand up.

His hand slipped through yours like water; then you were gone.

He rewinded the transmission footage again.

“For the republic!” You cried. Wolffe cringed. He knew you wouldn’t say shit like that. Because as much as you supported the war effort you had told him many times about:

How you “despised this intergalactic pissing contest that really only boils down to money problems and hurt pride.”

Your words not his. Another reason is that whenever you did something overly stupid you always said, “Be careful, boys.”

Followed by a wink, smirk, and whatever stupid, reckless thing you were doing to give Wolffe a heart attack. But in the video, you’re movements were choppy, you weren’t smiling, and you weren’t sassing off as usual.

“Commander, I hate to give up, but there’s no way Agent (Y/L/N) could have survived that blast.” There was even something off about the way the General spoke to him. It was forced and it sounded like he didn’t actually believe what he was saying.

“General. (Y/N)… she’d never say something like that. And watch the way she moves, she’s choppy almost robotic in her movements. Sir, you know (Y/N) is too quick and graceful for that to catch her.” Wolffe analyzed, not once taking his eyes off the hologram video.

“Wolffe, I want her to be alive as much as you do, but she was already injured and then caught in an extremely violent explosion.” Plo responded, placing a hand of the clone in denial. Wolffe shook his head.

“We never found a body.” Wolffe tried again, holding on to any evidence you were alive. His hands gripped the table so hard his knuckles turned white.

“Wolffe, there wouldn’t be a body. The blast would have disintegrated everything.” The general told him. Wolffe hardened his jaw and stood up straight.

“You’re right sir. It’s still a shame.” He sighed, defeated. He desperately hoped the general couldn’t pick up the shattered pieces of his heart as he turned and exited the room.

Upon entering his private quarters, he unleashed all the emotions he hid from the general. He punched and kicked the wall all while letting out a sub primal yell. He was angry and sad. He wanted to blame someone. He wanted to do badly put blame on someone else so he could go out and hurt them for taking you. But the only person to blame was you, and it was rude to blame the dead. Besides, Wolffe never could stay mad at you.

Once the wall had taken its beating, he moved to his bed and wailed on his pillow. Between hits, he almost missed a small holo-transmitter. The incoming and outgoing call buttons were taped over, only leave the play-existing message button. He looked at the transmitter quizzically and then picked up his pillow. Lo and Behold, a note laid pristinely folded underneath. He unfolded it and read it, mumbling the contents as he did.

“Dear Wolffe,
I know you’re probably really angry right now. Just, press play.
Love, (Y/N)”

So he pressed play, a hologram of you popped up and began talking.

“Hey Wolffe, if your watching this, it’s because the chancellor has decided to send me into a deep cover mission. For that to happen, special agent: (y/n) (y/l/n,” she paused to glance up at the camera, “has to die. I have to die so…” another pause for her to squint at a datapad- probably a briefing file, “Anatovi Crastillia from Garen llV can become a separatist citizen. They’re gonna tell you I’m dead, but I can’t bear the guilt of lying to you and making you feel that pain. I feel silly even recording this, but you deserved to know. I don’t know how long this mission will take, but I’ll think of you every minute. Wolffe, I love you so much.”

You had to pause for another few minutes to breathe and get you composure. “Please don’t hate me, I didn’t want to trick you. Please be careful. Tell the boys I said to be careful.” With that she reached to turn off the camera, but hesitated.

“I love you. So, so, much.” With that, she turned off the recording. When the hologram fizzled out, the holo-transmitter popped up a stationary image. A photograph of the two of you. Wolffe was grimacing to the camera while you smiled broadly beside him. He was supporting most of your weight, your uniform ripped and had definitely seen better days. Your face was smudged with ash and a little bit of blood, but you couldn’t of looked happier. It was the day Wolffe told you he loved you after you almost got killed. The commander shook his head at the photograph but saved it to his own Holopad. He’d miss you, but that didn’t mean he’d stop fighting for you.

Unlike the above, you weren’t some special agent with an important mission to save the galaxy. You were an engineer with 108th legion who heard the wrong thing at the right time.

When you were with the 108th, you happened upon secrets that neither the republic or confederacy knew. You only told the Jedi council for them to decide what to do with it. They decided it was best to keep it within the council, but that didn’t stop the separatists from wanting the information at any cost.

So to keep you safe and still make use of your engineering skills, they relocated you to the Rishi moon outpost. You’d seen many troopers come and go, but you and the sergeant stayed constant. And then domino squad came along.

You made no pretenses from the beginning. You told them that you were only good at fixing things and the only reason you were important to the Republic was because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Fives liked that. It made him feel more secure that he didn’t have to worry about you running into battle and getting killed. It was easy for the two of you to fall in love on the Rishi moon. You were together all the time. Then the separatists caught wind of your location.

Conveniently located on a base they were already planning on invading. All the more reason to come. So they came, killed several troopers, and put you, the domino squadron, Rex, and Cody through hell.

But you had long standing orders, from the very first day you had the information. If you were found, fake your death and when it was safe, hightail it out of there.

So when the base exploded, you ‘accidentally’ separated yourself from the group and cried as you ran as far as possible from the republic outpost. You knew Fives and Echo thought you dead, and the guilt was crushing you. But nevertheless, you kept running to the only other form of civilization on the Rishi moon: a refueling depot.

From there, you stowed away on a ship and repeated the process from planet to planet. It took roughly two months to get to Coruscant with out blowing cover and without stumbling into a war zone.

Once on Coruscant, all you had to do was make it to the Jedi temple. Sadly, you efforts were hopeless.

As you rushed through the busy streets of the planet, you kept your head down- flinching anytime you saw any kind of droid. Finally you breezed by the clone barracks. Six more blocks. Then, it fell apart. You ran face first into a troopers chest.

You literally just bounced off of him, falling on your butt in the process, but he didn’t even stumble. You still tried to hide your face, “I’m really sorry, sir, just late for a meeting.”

He watched you as you stuttered out the excuse. You finally looked up to him and realized it was an arc trooper…. with a rather familiar handprint on the chest of his armor.

“Echo, what’s the hold- holy kriff is that who I think it is?” Another Arc trooper approached, your heart fluttered at the possibility that it was Fives. The brothers popped off their helmets.

It was him, no mistaking that tattoo on his temple.

“(y/n)?” Fives gasped. Kneeling down in front of you, he offered you his hand, “I thought you were dead… everyone thinks you’re dead. How… how are you here? We thought you died with Hevy.”

“I’m sorry. I had orders.” You answered lamely. The arc trooper armor had your focus. Then you realized you were doing more staring than answering, “I’m so, so sorry Fives. The day I got the god forsaken information, I was given orders to ‘appear dead’ if ever found.”

“I understand, but, god, I missed you so much.” He whispered pulling you up and into a warm embrace- well, warm and stiff, clone armor was never good for hugs.

“Can you take me too the Jedi temple? I’m like two months late. Also, I’d like to hear how you got these.” You said, motioning to the specific ARC armor pieces and then tugging on his kama.

He bent over slightly to whisper, “I’ll tell you. Then, I’ll show you just how fast we can get it off.”

“I should have come back sooner.” You gulped, blushing and giggling- it was as though you had never left. Echo had breezed off moments ago, shaking his head.

“Yeah, you should have.” Fives agreed, pressing a kiss to your temple.


Guess who is terrible at following prompts.

In the end~ Jeon Wonwoo

anon requested: “Alright I’m feeling some angst, can you do a scenario (if something like this has been done before disregard this) where you are Wonwoo’s girlfriend but you can’t take the pressure anymore so you leave? Thank you!❤️”

admin note: flashbacks / dreams are in italics, sorry if this was awful, hope you enjoy!


  • I think the worst fear I have is losing someone close to me
  • maybe a friend, because I never texted them often enough 
  • or a family member, because I didn’t take a call 
  • just anyone really, because of me 
  • you’d think, ‘Well, that’s a perfectly normal fear to have' 
  • and I suppose it is 
  • everyone would be scared of losing someone dear to them 
  • everyone is scared 
  • but what makes this fear worse at least for me 
  • is the idea that I’ll lose someone I love 
  • not because they walked away, having given up on me 
  • not because I think I don’t need them in my life anymore 
  • but because we both couldn’t handle it  
  • and because I drove them away 
  • because I wasn’t enough and will never be 
  • because somewhere deep inside my heart and maybe theirs too 
  • I couldn’t find enough love to spare 
  • couldn’t find enough of something to fight for this person 
  • that is where we are. 
  • I drove you away because I was scared 
  • and we both didn’t fight for what we loved 
  • and so today we both lose.
  • you can take from me a limitless amount because I owe you that much
  • however, I can only take so much from you before we both crumble 
  • and that’s how it would end up being 
  • a lone figure standing out in the night 
  • a silence deep enough to drown you 
  • a hole that can’t be filled 
  • I hope you understand

Several hours before 

  • probably a million words could have passed between you and Wonwoo at that moment 
  • the two of you facing each other 
  • standing under a singular lamppost on the street 
  • walking home after a quick dinner 
  • the world blurring at the edges of your vision 
  • "Hey are you ok?” Wonwoo took his hand out of his pocket to take yours 
  • you watched as he lightly took your hand in his, eyes lingering when he intertwined his fingers with yours 
  • pulling your cold hand into his pocket with him 
  • his dark eyes, generally a bit cold, gazing sadly into yours 
  • yet 
  • as warm as his hand should have been 
  • as warm as you should have felt 
  • your hand remained cold in his grasp 
  • maybe it was the wind 
  • “I’m just tired.” You attempt a smile 
  • not fooling Wonwoo of course 
  • but as was per status quo 
  • he didn’t press 
  • didn’t even demand an answer for your behavior 
  • didn’t show anything beyond the motions that came with him being your boyfriend 
  • didn’t show a single indication that he should be concerned 
  • his face remained passive as he pressed his lips together and started walking again, your hand still in his pocket 
  • as you both hugged yourselves closer to your coats against the cold evening 
  • you let your mind wonder 
  • a walk down memory lane as they say 
  • you let yourself think back to a day a long time ago 


  • “Y/n” you looked up from the book you were reading 
  • “Oh Wonwoo!” you bounded up to him from your seat 
  • he was standing by the door, a blazer slung over his shoulder, a tie pulled loosely around his neck 
  • “What are you doing here?" 
  • "Got the day off, wanna go somewhere?" 
  • "It’s like like 11:00pm, what do you mean day off?" 
  • "So it’s a yes?" 
  • his smile lit up his face as he scrunched his nose cutely at your response
  • "I’ll go if it’s an adventure, Jeon Wonwoo." 
  • "It will be.” His eyes sparkled, a promise he meant to keep 


  • you were jolted out of the memory of that night by Wonwoo’s quickening pace 
  • “It’s cold, let’s go home.” he said 
  • you pulled your hand away out of his pocket, causing Wonwoo to stop and turn to face you 
  • “It’s cold, come on.” he said once again 
  • “Hang on, you’re walking too quickly." 
  • a sort of silently communicated plea as your voice broke 
  • a look in your eyes as you looked into his 
  • searching for the warmth that you knew was in there 
  • that had been there for you 
  • it was hard to breathe 
  • your legs wanted to give way 
  • you wanted to close your eyes and sleep here in the middle of the street 
  • "Y/n…" 
  • the world blurred again 
  • the face in front of you 
  • Wonwoo 
  • he was fading 
  • and you felt the world tilt as your vision darkened and you fell sideways
  • everything was black 
  • what was that sound? 
  • sirens? 
  • the world was dark and you barely heard Wonwoo shouting your name  
  • as you fell into another dream 


  • "So…." 
  • Wonwoo began sliding closer to you while looking out over the railing 
  • "I’ve liked you for a while and…." 
  • you looked up from the sunset at the boy before you 
  • "Jeon Wonwoo, are you confessing right now?" 
  • "I…" 
  • "And here I thought I would beat you to it, after all I asked you to hang out today and watch the sun set with me." 
  • he stared at you eyes wide 
  • "Do you like me?" 
  • "As nonsensical as love and emotions are made out to be in novels, did you really not know, Romeo?” you teased 
  • “Hey, I read one line of Romeo and Juliet for you and I get teased forever." 
  • "What can I say, I like the concept of star-crossed lovers, it’s tragic but meant to be." 
  • "I suppose.” He chuckled 
  • “Doesn’t change the fact they fell in love with each other after like two days within meeting.” You sighed 
  • “Love takes a while to truly develop.” He nods 
  • “I guess my feelings for you must have developed over some time then.” you laughed facing him noticing the slight blush rising to his face 
  • “Maybe… I’m not Romeo though…" 
  • "What do you mean by that?" 
  • "I liked you for a long time too y/n, and I won’t leave you stupidly like Romeo did.” he smiled 
  • “I’m not worried you’ll leave, Juliet was stupid too.” you smiled back  
  • “They both were, because of 'love’" 
  • "Crazy in love I suppose you could say." 
  • "Possibly” he looked at you a bit seriously 
  • “Well I for one am quite a practical person, and since you confessed your feelings first, I’ll ask you on the first date." 
  • "Hey that’s not how it works." 
  • "It’s the 21st century, Wonwoo, and I like you so that restaurant by campus by six?" 
  • "It’s a date then." 
  • "I’ll wait, Romeo." 
  • "You won’t have to, Juliet" 
  • somewhere in your dream state you cried 
  • sobbed for that moment 
  • when all the stars had lined up 
  • when everything had hinted at this moment 
  • "I’ll wait, Romeo." 
  • "You won’t have to, Juliet." 
  • you cried for that moment when you had realized how much you liked Wonwoo 
  • because as soon as you had confirmed it 
  • fate had decided the two of you would be fated for tragedy 
  • and as the dream you continued to cry for your loss 
  • you felt yourself slowly waking up 
  • "I love you, y/n.” The first time he said it on your one year anniversary flashing through your dream state as you rose out of sleep 
  • “I won’t leave you like Romeo did." 
  • the way he had held onto you for all those dates 
  • the whispered love confessions over the phone at work 
  • all of it flashed before you before you opened your eyes 


  • "Dehydration and sleep deprivation, she must not have slept for a few nights in a row… the only explanation…. she’ll be fine to go right after this…. just needed sleep and some food" 
  • the calming voice of a doctor speaking as you stared up at the white ceiling 
  • a deep voice breaking the remnants of the dreamy floating feeling you had 
  • "Ok thank you doctor." 
  • you pushed yourself up 
  • and it finally hit you 
  • all these past few days 
  • of stressing too much about work and everything 
  • but worse 
  • anxiety over when Wonwoo would finally call you telling you he was ok 
  • that he was sleeping and eating well when you knew he wasn't 
  • and you repeating the same lies 
  • the prolonged periods of being separated 
  • you were so tired 
  • so exhausted 
  • the realization hit you harder then it did this past few weeks 
  • when you would sit hugging your knees in the shower 
  • the darkness seeping through the dark corners of the the house 
  • Wonwoo walked up next to you noticing you waking 
  • "Y/n! What the hell? I told you to rest! I’d be home later! I told you!" 
  • "That’s kind of harder said then done!” You wanted to scream back 
  • your voice faltering in the middle 
  • “I was worried out of my mind!" 
  • "But you didn’t call once all week! I was worried sick! I know work is hard and tiring!" 
  • "And you think I wasn’t!!! I called your sister to check up on you!" 
  • "But she doesn’t live anywhere close to us Wonwoo you know this!" 
  • tension filled the room 
  • "Forget this, just sleep? Please?” he looked at you pleading 
  • already you felt your eyes closing again 
  • “I love you, ok?” you didn’t hear his last whispered words to you as you fell asleep again 


  • “Wonwoo!” You ran up to him taking his arm 
  • “Why hello there lovely.” He placed a hand gently on your cheek and placed a warm, soft kiss onto your lips leaving you giggly 
  • “I got the job!" 
  • "YES two working people out in the world!" 
  • "The world ain’t going to mess with us!" 
  • "I’m so proud of you." 
  • "Don’t be, it’s about time." 
  • but regardless he lifted your chin again pressing another kiss to your lips
  • harder this time, longer and more desperate 
  • and he held you in his arms after 
  • "Time to celebrate." 
  • you both grabbed your favorite books from the shelf and you took the cake out of the fridge 
  • laying in his lap to read as you both had celebratory cake 
  • reading aloud random lines from your books to each other 
  • "In this moment, I have claimed, in this moment, I am untouchable. Forever with this moment be solidified by this thought, the thought that this moment is mine and mine alone." 
  • you both read contentedly before falling asleep together
  • arms entwined 
  • faces inches apart 
  • breathing evenly  
  • his presence enough to chase all the darkness away 
  • your comforting touch enough to keep the coldness away from him 
  • comfortable 
  • in love 


  • when you woke up again in the hospital room, Wonwoo was sleeping in a chair in the corner 
  • breathing similarly to your dream 
  • his figure slumped over itself 
  • and you dragged yourself up and took a blanket from your bed to wrap around him 
  • silent tears started falling when looking at his calm face 
  • peaceful and warm for once 
  • none of the cold intimidating sharpness that came with it nowadays 
  • you had always known it would be hard 
  • you had thought you could handle it 
  • he had thought he could handle it 
  • but from both your states 
  • you could tell the only thing he kept holding onto now was loyalty 
  • devotion 
  • the romantic wanderlust of love that had been held in his heart for you 
  • was it there anymore? 
  • the adventuring 
  • the light kisses showered over you when reading 
  • did it mean anything now? 
  • you shuffled out your room to make a call 
  • "Hey could you grab my stuff? I’m going to move back to mom’s old place… Yea I’m fine…. oh did Wonwoo call you?…. yea sis, I’m fine really….. the moving? Yea I wanna move out of the apartment…. Well Wonwoo and I….." 
  • you stopped dead 
  • what could you say? 
  • you had no plans for moving forward 
  • you didn’t know what to do 
  • decisive moments in life were supposed to be clear 
  • you pick one way and suffer 
  • you pick the other way and leave 
  • there wasn’t much to it 
  • your sister repeated your name again 
  • "Oh yea just move my stuff out of the apartment, I’ll talk later ok?" 
  • you hung up and slowly slid down the wall to the floor 
  • staring at your phone the time was two am 
  • you looked at the wallpaper of your phone 
  • a picture of Wonwoo and you under the projected stars in the observatory where he first said the words "I love you" 
  • you felt yourself choking up as you clenched your chest 
  • the tears breaking through again finally flooding out 
  • as your eyes blurred you pressed the photos app and picked a picture of you and your sister to set as your wallpaper 
  • and deleted the folder containing the pictures of you and Wonwoo 
  • come morning you knew you’d regret deleting memories 
  • but at this point you knew that the pain that came with them would not be as easily deleted  
  • and this had been the first step 
  • you had had enough 
  • you recalled the fighting that happened about the time spent apart 
  • his apparent lack of sleep 
  • your apparent lack of sleep 
  • the lies passed back and forth to keep things up 
  • you weren’t happy 
  • he wasn’t happy 
  • the both of you 
  • weren’t happy 
  • together 
  • the final realization 
  • that throughout your whole relationship 
  • it had always been adventurous  
  • always been ill fated to end tragically 
  • much like star crossed lovers were 
  • you had thought it would all work out 
  • but you were wrong 
  • you silently reentered the hospital room with Wonwoo sleeping still 
  • and took the notepad and pen and wrote 
  • the few words not meaning anything to anyone who wasn’t the two of you
  • "A lone figure standing out in the night" 
  • that was Romeo 
  • his death would be imminent the moment he left the outside world behind to find Juliet 
  • "Silence deep enough to drown you.” 
  • the silence of an empty house as the one person that meant the most to you was never there 
  • “A hole that can’t be filled" 
  • that would be Wonwoo of course, someone who you’d never forget for even a second in your life after you left 
  • "I hope you understand" 
  • ‘that the reason why I’m leaving is for him to be happy’
  • you set the note carefully down and gathered your things 
  • and walked out the front door of the hospital into the cold dark night 
  • the moon casting shadows 
  • and as the clouds in the night sky began to roll in 
  • they covered the moon plunging the world into darkness 
  • as you disappeared into the darkness 
  • and didn’t look back


~ admin jess

Adorable - Zach Werenski Imagine

hi dear! could you please write something about zach werenski that’s just all cute and stuff? sorry i’m awful with descriptions but thanks in advance(:

Originally posted by werenskiz

Hi! So I actually really loved writing this. I also hope you love reading it! So today starts my two posts a day so ½ for today lol. Send in requests if you have/want them because I’m gonna get them done lmao. Anyway, thanks for reading!!! -Accius

Your name: submit What is this?

Your eyes slowly opened as the sun peered into your shared room. The flood of smell met you like a tidal wave. The smell of pancakes and bacon hitting your nose which woke you up extremely. Pulling the covers off your body and making your way to the kitchen in your apartment which you shared with your boyfriend Zach. Entering the kitchen you saw your wonderful significant other in front of the stovetop flipping a pancake over.

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Just Thought I’d Check in on My Beloved - Pt 2

Benvolio glanced around the palace foyer, admittedly rather confused.  Either he was the first to arrive (the more likely considering he’d never been alone with their sovereign before), or he was in fact here to meet the Prince alone (the less ideal of the options, because a private meeting with the Prince did not strike him as something positive).  

“Signore Montague, thank you for coming so promptly.”

The man in question turned to see the prince enter, and bowed respectfully.  “Of course, Your Grace; ‘tis not often my sovereign requests an audience.”  Escalus gestured towards a large study, and Benvolio could not help a sense of unease as the doors were closed behind them.

“I regret that this is not a more pleasant meeting, but something has happened.”

Fear tightened every muscle in his body.  “Rosaline?”  The intensity of his concern surprised the young Montague, but he could not fathom another reason the prince would summon him without the Lord of his house.  

“No, I assure you this is not regarding her.”  His eyes flashed for a moment, with what looked strangely like jealousy, and again Benvolio found himself watching the prince with narrowed eyes.  “This is…about your cousin.”

All thoughts of his betrothed fled from his mind, confusion replacing them.  “Romeo?”

Escalus nodded, regret in his eyes.  “The evening of the feast of the Great Houses, an unknown criminal entered into Romeo’s crypt…and mutilated his corpse.”  He paused when Benvolio inhaled sharply, and the Montague could not hear the rest of the prince’s explanation over the roar of his blood rushing in his ears.  A gentle hand on his shoulder grounded Benvolio after a moment, but could do nothing to ease the nausea and grief threatening to overwhelm him.  “Forgive me for bearing such terrible news, Signore Montague…I could not risk inciting vengeance by telling the head of your House, but felt it important that you know.”

“I beg your pardon, You Grace…I…I must take my leave,” he choked.  Without waiting for a response, Benvolio gave a sloppy bow and stumbled out of the palace.  He was so consumed by his grief and rage that he did not notice his betrothed calling after him as he passed her.

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anonymous asked:

Hi, my friend thinks Y//o//I is positive representation, whereas I feel it's nothing more than fetishization. I've tried to drop the topic because I'd rather conserve our friendship, but she keeps telling me to provide evidence and won't back down. It's fine if you don't, but I've seen this blog backup their points with sources, and I'm wondering if you have a compilation of your more thorough analyses on why Y//o//I is fanservice. Thanks for all you do.

Hello, I am that one gay man who works here, love when girls decide what is good representation for me.  First off we have our obvious links to another gay man’s review.  Important things for you to have are uncensored kisses and censorship in Japan.  Regardless they’re gonna bring up these points, crush them.
Other Links;
It’s Up To Interpretation
An Adventure Into The Unknown
The Choreography of the Butt

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i can’t stop thinking about graves fondly wrapping his scarf around credence’s neck, making sure he’s all warm and cozy, and credence just staring down at him with unbridled awe and affection.

“are you comfortable?” graves asks. he starts to take a step back, but credence grabs onto the sleeve of his suit to stop him. graves opens his mouth to ask if credence still needs something, anything, but before he can speak, credence wraps his arms around graves and buries his face into graves’ neck.

“thank you,” credence whispers, voice muffled by graves’ coat.

“for what, my dear boy? i haven’t done anything.”

“for everything.”

Annlett Flower AU

For @narcissablaxk

Edmund was busy pulling peonies from the display fridge when he heard the front door jingle.

“Hello, welcome!” He chimed, wiping the dew onto his green apron.

Standing at the counter was a woman. Her brows furrowed in frustration, and her eyes dark and serious. She reached into her pocket and slammed a wrinkled $20 bill onto the cool counter.

“How do I passively aggressively say fuck you in flower?”

Edmund stared at the wild eyed woman, taken aback.

“D-did you want a bouquet with a note that says ‘fuck you’ or something a bit more…intricate”

“Intricate. Tear your ass apart aggressive”

Edmund motioned her over to his display case. “This way—uh—”


Edmund opened the case and took out his shears.

“Give me a few words to describe why this person needs to fuck off.”

Anna bit her lip, trying to narrow down the words. “Idiot, useless, insincere, I hate him, a big fucking let down”. She looked up at Edmund, her eyes much softer than the words she had chosen. “Can it be done?”

“Anything can be done, my dear. Let’s see what we have…. Ah-ha!” Edmund pulled a few stems of geraniums. “Stupidity.” He said tactfully, handing Anna the blossoms. His long fingers hovered above the containers, finally grasping a stem of purple hanging petals. “Foxgloves, stunning and insincere.” Reaching far back into the case, Edmund plucked a clustered odd looking flower. “Meadowsweet, for uselessness.” Anna looked on in awe as Edmund rifled through some carnations to pick out the yellow ones. “Yellow… Disappointment”
Finally, he chose a single large orange lily, placing it delicately in her hands. “Hatred”

Anna bunched the stems into a bouquet, admiring the rich colors. “This is stunning”.
Edmund chuckled, admiring her smile.

“Your choice of words is stunning. Here, let’s wrap it and leave a nice little note, shall we?”

Anna eagerly followed him back to the register, where the flowers were wrapped and tied neatly. Edmund took out a flower card, and a pen. “To…..”


“To Abraham,
Let these blossoms say the words I have too much grace to.


Edmund placed the card into the flowers and handed the bouquet to Anna. She smiled sweetly at him.

“Do I owe you more than the $20?”

Edmund slid the wrinkled bill back over the counter.

“This one is on me. It’s not very often I meet people who share my own brand of passive aggression. We must keep each other strong.”

Anna smiled, and slid a card over the counter.

“Then let me repay you at a later time. To share our similar interests.”

Edmund blushed, and pocketed the card with her number.

“Tear him apart, dear Anna”

I hate those people who, after all these years are still angry with Freddie for not going public with his AIDS to ‘help people and raise awareness’. 

Why should he? He was private…can you imagine it? Him coming out onto some balcony like the Queen of England to make an announcement? ‘Hello darlings come and look at what this hideous virus has done to my body? Wear condoms dears!’ NO.

Why can’t people get PRIVATE into their heads?! It was against his personality type to do that and I can’t believe people expected that of him, a man who didn’t talk to the press that often to just come out and open himself up to public attack, ridicule and shame like that. The stigma must have been awful. If you think he should have gone public, then you know nothing about him as a person.

Some people have never forgiven him. Give him a break! He wasn’t obliged to do that for anyone. And his death probably did a lot to raise awareness about AIDS/HIV. Well we know it did. A new charity grew out of it. He also anonymously donated to AIDS charities in the 80s. He did help, he just didn’t make a performance out of it.

anonymous asked:

why do u think ned was so loyal to robert? the man was a grade A asshole, all he cared about was being king,drinking and fucking,was relieved when they brought him the corpses of rhaegar's children,he physically abused cersei over and over,his love for lyanna wasn't love but a selfish illusion,he didn't oppose the execution of lady even tho he had all the power,never loved renly nor stannis and was a total dick to the latter for no reason....why someone as honorable as ned would stick w/ him

You have to remember that Ned and Robert were raised together, both fostered by Jon Arryn. Robert was like a brother to Ned, closer even than his real brothers. (Robert certainly loved Ned more than he loved his own brothers.) And you know what it’s like (or maybe you don’t), when you’re the quiet and shy one, and your best friend is boisterous and charismatic and good at everything, but never forgetting you or leaving you behind, and always telling you you’re his best friend and he wouldn’t know what to do without you… you give them a lot of slack. You give them the benefit of the doubt, “oh, it’s just Robert, you know what Robert is like”.

And Robert and Ned were blood brothers, from when both their heads were demanded by Aerys and later in battle… both motivated by the loss of Lyanna, who would have made them brothers in truth. It was only at the Sack of King’s Landing, when Ned saw for the first time how vengeful Robert really was, that even innocent children were just “dragonspawn” to him, that they first ever truly argued with each other. And Ned left Robert, first to relieve the Siege of Storm’s End, and later to finally find his sister at the Tower of Joy. Where again he had to force a break with Robert, to promise to keep his “dragonspawn” nephew’s secret.

So distance grew between them. Jon Arryn helped rebuild their friendship once more, and the stories we hear of the Greyjoy Rebellion show no problems between Ned and Robert… But it’s only when the court comes to King’s Landing after Jon Arryn’s death that Ned really sees how much Robert’s fallen. It still takes him a long time to admit it to himself — but really, everything about Ned and Robert in King’s Landing is just one disappointment after another, just being smacked with reality over and over again. From Robert’s spendthrift nature putting the crown millions of gold in debt, to his lackadaisical inability to rule, his dissolution and corruption (when Ned meets Barra’s mother and is afraid to ask her age, that’s so telling), and his still vengeful nature towards innocent Targaryen children… And seeing Robert hit Cersei was yet another nail in the coffin of their friendship (you see him ask Cersei about it, has he done this before, is this what my friend is really like, how could I have never realized)…

Well, when you love someone, you truly do, when you were once the very best of friends, it can take a long time and a lot of them being really awful before you give up entirely. And you know, Ned might hold his honor dear… but the bonds of family and friends were so much more important to him. And that was his great tragedy, in so many ways.

anonymous asked:

My ex and I are trying to be friends. We've set up some good boundaries but they are aware that I still have very strong feelings for them and that those feelings are not reciprocated. Recently, we went to a party where they slept with two of my friends. Is that okay? I don't own them. I shouldn't stop them. But they think I'm overreacting when I say that feels insensitive an unkind. What do you think?

Dear everyone trying to be friends with an ex or a person for whom they have strong feelings, to whom they have confessed these feelings, whose feelings are not reciprocated: Stop fucking trying to be friends. 

Stop believing this fallacy that it’s totally possible to be friends with an ex when you still have feelings for them. Hollywood has done an awful lot of damage, but in my opinion, this is one of the worst lies we’re told. You cannot be friends with someone for whom you have strong feelings. You will absolutely grow to hate them, and while that’s a lovely origin story and makes for a fantastic hateful arch-nemesis style relationship, the reality is that it will make you miserable.

You don’t feel it’s okay, clearly. You need distance from this person to put them, their behavior, and your feelings in perspective. You need space. You don’t need to be nice to them; you don’t need to consider their feelings, right now. You need to consider yours. The reality is that this person does not want you in the way that you want them, and if your options are to have them in your life and be stuck in constant torment, or to excise them cleanly for a little bit and allow yourself to heal, I think there is an obvious answer.

Stop talking to them. Cut them out for a little bit. Rip off the band-aid, and get on to the business of getting over them.

A Supervillain

anonymous asked:

i love rowaelin but i honestly have no time for your chaol hate nonsense. both chaol and rowan has done terrible things to celaena/aelin (remember rowan with the abuse? he's a 300 year old huge fae warrior and celaena is like 19 and more inexperienced compared to him) I understand why you dont like chaol but please stop making excuses for the things rowan did. its just unfair.

Oh anon. I’m about tired of getting these kinds of messages, because they truly will not change my mind no matter what you have to say.

“Nonsense” you say? What about this very message you sent me? I find this nonsense as well.

Now, to get the the point. I’ve never said I hate Chaol. I had a little bit of hard feelings towards him at the beginning of QoS because of how he treated Aelin, but he came back around by the end of the book. He even requested to see Aelin’s magic, which was a really touching scene all in itself.

Now, yes, “Rowan is 300 years old and what he did to Aelin, blah, blah, blah—” I’ve heard it all before.

Let me tell you something: it’s not the age or experience that makes an abuser.

Suddenly because Rowan is a large, hulking man who’s centuries old, and does maybe three truly horrible things to Aelin—who you must see as a delicate doll in need of protection—do you automatically dub him as abusive. Never mind the fact that people make mistakes and no one is perfect.

Aelin is no angel either. Do you forget that she was an assassin? She dismembered a man in an alleyway and brought his hirer his head. She gutted Arthur and dumped him in the sewer.

Aelin doesn’t need protection. She is her own woman, and Rowan knows that even if he’s a little overprotective. Plus, Aelin has people in her life that would protect her—if necessary—from Rowan of he was abusive. You really think Aedion would just stand by if he could see that Rowan didn’t make Aelin feel comfortable or safe? Aedion would die trying to protect her from something truly horrible.

I realize you like Rowaelin, anon, but if you call Rowan abusive I can’t help but feel you don’t really support it. I need to look at Chaolaena for a moment.

When Nehemia died, Celaena broke. She launched herself at Chaol, clawed his face, and very nearly stabbed him. If it wasn’t for Dorian and her being knocked out—she would have killed Chaol. Though I suppose that doesn’t make Aelin abusive, right?

I suppose you all compare Rowan to Arobynn, then? Because that, dear anon, is what abusive is. Arobynn—who made Celaena break her hand for training, who beat her unconscious after she freed slaves, and so much more—is abusive.

So, dear anon, and any other Rowaelin/Rowan haters who decide to waltz onto my blog because you think you have something to say, please save it. I frankly get tired of repeating myself, and none of you seem to listen when I say:

There is NOTHING you can say that will change my mind, unless you’ve got hard evidence as to what Rowan’s done that’s so god awful horrible—other than the things I’ve already been told—don’t bother messaging me.

I’m not backing up any abuse, because Rowan is not abusive.

don’t reblo-g please. you can quote me, but this is something very personal.
this is me retyping what I’m gonna link to when people ask me why I like kevin. here we go:
I like kevin because I know that he is awful– and let me finish. I know what he’s done. and I’m NOT here to make excuses and say why he wasn’t as bad as he could’ve been. he’s an asshole!! he’s like, really and truly vile. I know that. I fully acknowledge that. I always have.
but the reason I like him is that I want for him to be better.
I’ve been abused and emotionally manipulated amongst other things by people very dear to me, and it’s messed with my head to this day! it’s a big thing in my life that oftentimes makes me miserable and unsure of who I am and who I can trust! and my interest towards him literally stems from a place that just makes me want to root for him and be better than the people that hurt me in the first place. that’s why I post about him like I do. (disclaimer.. this isn’t stuff i ever want/expect to happen in canon like, ever. i think he’s a great villain and i love how he’s written as is)
I project onto him, especially mental-illness wise. I think about ways in which he could be better. I take a lot of comfort in it. he’s been my biggest comfort character since literally march of 2015. that’s a lot of time for me to have sat and thought on this. especially with little to no input from many other people until recently because let’s face it. pretty much everyone forgot about him till beach city drift. do you know how exciting it was for me to see him show up again? and do you know how much it hurts me when people tell me I’m a terrible person for clinging onto him? this is literally something I use to deal with my mental health and make me happy on a daily basis.
I don’t really remember when or how he became so important to me, but the fact is that he is now
I get people are uncomfortable with him. I totally get why. it’s justified. if you don’t like it, you can just unfollow me. it’s cool. but just know that this is something very important to me and has been for a long time. just leave me alone about it.

also, you don’t have to, but if you’d like this post if you read it i’d really appreciate it!! :^)

(again, please do-n’t reblog. thanks)


Okay I thought I wouldn’t do this but I started explaining what Taylor has done for me and I started crying and awe so I’m posting this anyways.

Dear Taylor,
Thank you.
You and your music was thrown at me at exactly the correct moment of my life. Without your art I would not have survived because it was like my life was a series of musical notes being played all at once in different keys and then you came along and changed it to a harmony. You were like a miracle that saved me when I was drowned in darkness. When I screamed so loud that no one heard a thing I heard you instead. When I found you it was like the clouds had parted and you were my blue sky. I was wonderstruck by you and you were a distraction but also the light at the end of my tunnel that I wasn’t able to find until I found you. I stayed up countless sleepless nights listening to you and reading your words and memorizing your astonishing lyrics while my heart hurt with love for you. That was probably the most important thing you did for me. When I was so obsessed with hating myslef and my life I found someone and something I could love and that just consumed every single piece of me. You are my what if. You are my try. You are my keeping going cause it’s sunny on the other side. You have brought me and Claire (heartbreakis-my-nationalanthem) together and now I have someone who I can trust and who I know will always be there for me no matter what. that’s because of you. I want you to know how incredible that is. There will never be a way to thank you enough or show how grateful I am. I am forever in debt to you. You saved my life. You saved me and I would do anything to save you. You are my hero and I hardly noticed that your the one who taught me so many things that are a huge part of who I am today. You are my role model. I couldn’t have become who I am today without you I can’t imagine where I would be without you and honestly I might not have even been here to tell you this but I am and again I am eternally thankful and grateful for what you’ve done. You made us proud Taylor and there’s no doubt in my mind you will continue to. Thank you.

Love, Ana.

My mom witnessing TSA America: Level Orange
i showed the clips to my mom and on the first one shes like

Mom: aw I know him he’s from Eureka! Misha knows the coolest folks
Me: the other girl is Danneel, that’s Jensen’s wife
Mom: she’s so cute look at her I just wanna pinch her cheeks
Mom: what is that
Me: it’s a monitor for the baby
Mom: oh dear *puts on gloves* oh Sarah I don’t want to watch this
Me: fisting is beginning, avert your eyes
Mom: *laughs at Colin’s speech*
Mom: I get it but ew could have done without

*the next one*

Mom: ooh okay, is this one going to be gross like the other one
Me: no just gay
Mom: Misha is so adorable
Me: yes he is please listen
Mom: *laughs nervously at dialogue about the pat down*
Mom: oh my god *at them going into another room*
Mom: *dimmed lights - poster pulled down drink poured* he’s not- 
Me: and on his knees he goes
Mom: *starts to get sexual* oh my god Sarah what is this
Me: *covering my mouth as I try not to bust out laughing*
Mom: I can’t hear what Misha is saying
Me: “You must be so proud. I’m going to touch your chest now. *bites lip to hold in laughter* I’m gonna put two fingers in your belt, I’m gonna move real slow”
Mom: *the other guy leans in and it looks like they’re going to kiss* NO NO NO NO OH MY GOD SARAH WHAT IS THIS
Mom: *cackles for a good minute*
Mom: I feel like I need a cigarette 
Mom: That was incredibly gay I’m sure you’re very happy about this
Me: *and I’m just on the other side of the receiver like*

“yeah it was good”


Mom: oh dear why are they taking off that nice mans shirt Misha stop that

Dear Agents of SHIELD tag,

Why? Why do I ever look in you? 

What should be a collection of material about my favorite show has become the Agents of Ward tag, where even the nice Skye gifsets are made by people with names that reference that one awful ship. 

You are a terrible place, Agents of SHIELD tag, and I want to burn you with fire.

You are full of people who want to slap Mack or be done with Mack or send Mack to hell, but who also love Grant Ward. We have seen Mack in both public and private moments, enough to know that the Mack we see is the genuine article and not some empty undercover persona, like Ward was. We know he cares for the team, has defended the team, and that he has done things because he likes these people, not because it was part of a mission. And when whatever the plan is comes out, the characters will react badly, but we the viewers (and by proxy, you the Agents of SHIELD tag) will know that Mack is better than Grant Ward, and I think that’s probably important.

To compare Mack to Grant Ward and come away finding Mack to be the worse betrayer – when we don’t even know his mission, yet – is just plain wrong. It hurts my heart that I share a fandom with people who could think these things, and I hate you, Agents of SHIELD tag, for collecting such incredibly stupid bullshit. 

You are somewhat less full of people who know that Ward is a villain but are still upset by Mack – people who at least have a leg to stand on – but why is the hate still so much more fervently directed at Mack than at Bobbi? Mack is not the first Agent of SHIELD to incapacitate a fellow agent for (hidden) reasons, and Bobbi is right there with him on this plan. If Mack is an evil bad man, then Bobbi ‘Mockingbird’ Morse is an evil bad woman, but that seems to go unacknowledged, with Mack taking the brunt of the hate.

I wish you at least showed me people being fair with the way they distribute their hate, so that if someone actually believes that AoS has brought on Mockingbird to be purposefully evil/sinister, they spread their hate equally between Bobbi and Mack. Same with the ‘making Skye feel bad’ hate. You know I love Skye more than any character on this show, but even I have to admit that it’s a rational response for her team – especially the three newer members of the team – to express such fear. And it seems truly unfair to show me so many posts of people shitting on Mack for making Skye feel bad without equally hating Bobbi, Hunter, and Simmons for doing the same. 

And why do I see people calling out Mack as “most problematic character” for making Skye feel like shit? Like, if someone wants to argue that Mack is a problematically drawn character who falls into some negative tropes of Black men in media, I’m here for that discussion, but I don’t see those discussions happening in you, Agents of SHIELD tag. Instead, you’re full of hate thrown solely because Mack expressed a fear that everyone else was expressing too. And you never showed me any outrage over a problematic character when Fitz defended Skye’s attacker to her face. No, when he made Skye feel like shit, you showed me posts of people actually wanting her to apologize for yelling at him. There’s some sort of double standard in play here about who is bad for making Skye feel like shit, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

And jfc, Agents of SHIELD tag, everything is not falling apart because “bby Grant Ward” is gone. Skye does not “need” him right now. Skye hates that douchebag and I don’t understand why you’re full of posts that posit some real relationship between them. This season, he has existed as her stalker, and any personal relationship between them ceased to be when he revealed that he had lied about every facet of his personality. What fucking show are you actually even about? Because it can’t be Agents of SHIELD

And I’d like to say I’m done with you, Agents of SHIELD tag, but I know I’m not. I’ll venture onto you any time I feel the need to take an actual pulse of awful stuff in this fandom. When I need to be sure that the outrage I see reflected on my own dash is justified. (It almost always is, in case you were wondering.) 

But that doesn’t mean I like you.

You’re full of shit.