avoiding something

mogai is such a mess bc so many of the sexualities there……..,,, are not sexualities?

like they’re ways someone wishes to express/not express sexual acts eg placiosexuality, lithosexuality etc

and a sexuality…. is not that. they’re about sexual attraction. in defining myself as bisexual i tell you nothing about my sex life, and honestly the idea of a group of people encouraging other people - mostly teenagers, lbr - to identify themselves by the way they wish to have sex? is super dodgy????

like if someone asks you how you identify, and you say placiosexual, most people don’t know what that is, so you have to explain how you prefer to have sex. not who you are attracted to, just. how you have sex. and something about that makes me very uncomfortable

10

The jacket origin story that no one asked for

Rage

Draco feels a tremor tear through him. His fists are clenched, his jaw muscles tense, his chest tight, his knees wobbly. He’s breathing heavily as his stomach twists viciously, the hot feeling inside it beginning to spread, infecting the rest of his body. Like venom. He stares down the empty corridor, lit by torches. His vision blurs, little spots appearing in front of him. He feels dizzy. He wants to scream. He wants this feeling inside of him to take physical form, so he can punch it, destroy it.

He wants the rage to leave his body.

Well, what Draco really wants is the cause of his rage to go away. How many letters from his father is he supposed to receive calmly, while Lucius keeps going on and on about how disappointed he is in his son, not sure if he can be even called his son any longer.

Draco feels sick. His stomach gives another twist, but Draco refuses to show weakness. He will not be sick. No. He hears, rather than feels, his jaw cracking as he tenses his muscles further. His arms are shaking now. Unthinkingly, he turns to the wall and punches it. Hard. He feels no pain, but there’s another cracking sound.

Draco feels his eyes sting, which only makes him angrier. This will not make him cry. He will not spill a single tear over this. And yet, he can’t seem to stop the hot tears from running down his cheeks.

He startles when he hears footsteps echoing off the walls. He hastily wipes the tears away with his sleeve and looks up. Of course. Of course it has to be Potter!

“Malfoy.” He sounds puzzled. “What are you doing here?”

Draco doesn’t answer and averts his eyes, in fear of Potter noticing he just had a moment of weakness.

“Malfoy,” Potter repeats. Draco feels a new surge of anger course through him. He wants to hit Potter. Hexing him wouldn’t be gratifying enough. He wants to physically injure him with his hands, his whole body.

Before Potter knows what’s happening, Draco lunges at him. His fist connects with his jaw and Potter stumbles backward. He blinks a few times, obviously flabbergasted and blinks at Draco stupidly. After a moment, he frowns.

“What the hell, Malfoy?”

Draco lunges at him again, trying to land a punch. His vision blurs once more, making it difficult to see where to hit Potter. But it doesn’t matter. Draco doesn’t care which part of Potter he will injure, as long as it hurts. He wants Potter to hurt as much as he does.

But Potter is fighting back. He hits Draco in the stomach, making him flinch. He welcomes the sharp pain. It numbs the other sensations in his body. It doesn’t last long, though. Once again, he feels detached from his body.

Draco’s not sure, but he thinks he got Potter on his shoulder and punched his chest, knocking the breath out of him. When Draco starts whirling around again, striking out in an uncontrolled manner, he suddenly feels arms encircling him, clutching him.

“Damn it, Malfoy, stop,” Potter shouts. He tightens his grip, trying to get Draco to stop moving. Draco fights against the restraint, tries to break free, but Potter is apparently stronger than him.

“Bloody hell, I heard you’ve been starting fights lately for no apparent reason,” Potter squeezes out while Draco still tries to get him off him. “What is the matter with you?”

Draco just grunts and tries to shove his elbow into Potter’s side. He fails. When all his attempts fail, he finally slumps down. Potter, surprised by the sudden extra weight, tumbles and they both go down.

Draco needs a moment to realise he’s half sitting in Potter’s lap, his body still somewhat encircled by Potter’s arms. It’s too much. Draco can’t take this. The hot tears he spilled earlier are nothing compared to what’s happening right now. He’s choking on his own sobs, every inhale torture to his lungs.

He can’t even win a fight against Potter, Draco thinks bitterly. Is his father right? Is Draco really a disappointment? Draco is faintly aware that he’s heaving and puffing, his chest aching.

“Malfoy,” Potter says quietly, uncertainty clear in his voice. He hasn’t moved his arms and Draco wants to slap them away, because the warmth that’s seeping through his robes is too bittersweet for him to bear. It’s not Potter’s intention to comfort him with this proximity.

“Your hand,” Potter suddenly mutters. Draco looks down at it. His hand his bruised and swollen, the skin on his knuckles cracked. He still doesn’t feel any pain. He’s just numb, like most days lately, not in control of his own body.

He hates that he can’t get up and just leave. He’s still sitting in Potter’s lap, sobbing like a child. Draco feels a tentative finger under his chin and tries to jerk his head away, but Potter’s grip is firm. He forces Draco to look at him and Draco can do nothing against it. He stares at Potter as several emotions pass over his face. His eyes are wide and his mouth opens to release a warm puff of breath. Draco feels it on his face and it’s like Potter has struck him.

The aching in his chest worsens and Draco breaks down completely. He lets his head fall down, not caring where it lands. The fingers under his chin disappear, as Draco’s head hits something solid. Potter’s shoulder, he realises, when something soft tickles his ear. Potter’s hair.

Draco knows this is wrong. He knows Potter is getting a glimpse of something, Draco has been trying to hide from everyone. He can’t show weakness. He just can’t.

He isn’t sure, at first, if he’s imagining something pressing into his back and the warmth on his cheek, until he tries to turn his head and finds that he can’t. Because Potter’s cheek is pressing into his, his arms are around Draco once more. He’s drawing circles on Draco’s back with his palms rather awkwardly.

Draco really does know this is wrong and he has no idea what possessed Potter to actually try and comfort him, but when Draco feels a warm hand move over his head and begins stroking his hair, Draco closes his eyes and decides that, just for tonight, he will forget about everything that is wrong.

I’ve wanted to talk for So Long about the portrayal of anxiety in YOI but I’ve been having so much trouble putting together what I want to say in the most effective manner. I kept trying to come at this in a more analytical fashion, but considering that this is such a personally important topic to me, I’m going to try a more emotional approach. Something I don’t normally do.

So really, to start off, I wanna say that I’m so damn thankful for the way Yuuri is written. Really, seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever had the ability to relate more to character; Yuuri is close to a mirror of my own experiences with anxiety and it’s so fantastic to have a model of development and growth for me and people like me. I found the portrayal to be frighteningly accurate, from types of thoughts, behaviors, mannerisms… I think the episode that stood out to me the most in terms of Yuuri’s anxiety was ep7, aka Yuuri’s on-screen panic attack episode. 

The first thing I noticed was this: 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself in that exact position. I bounce my legs when I panic, just like Yuuri is doing here. Head in his hands, breathing heavily, bouncing and jostling limbs. This isn’t the Mary-Sue cutesy portrayal of anxiety–this is a real anxiety disorder. It’s not pretty. It’s not easy. It can’t be fixed with a single word or a touch or a person. Quite frankly, it’s ugly and you lose control of your body. 

Keep reading

10

Pride Month Celebration:

For a long time, I was afraid to be who I am because I was taught by my parents that there’s something wrong with someone like me. Something offensive, something you would avoid, maybe even pity. Something that you could never love. My mom, she’s a fan of St. Thomas Aquinas. She calls pride a sin. And of all the venal and mortal sins, St. Thomas saw pride as the queen of the seven deadlies. He saw it as the ultimate gateway sin that would turn you quickly into a sinaholic. But hating isn’t a sin on that list. Neither is shame. I was afraid of this parade because I wanted so badly … to be a part of it. So today, I’m marching for that part of me that was once too afraid to march. And for all the people who can’t march, the people living lives like I did. Today, I march to remember that I’m not just a me. I’m also a we. And we march with pride.  

-Nomi Marks, Sense8 

Boost your Spanish with more complex synonyms for words you already know

Here you have some words/expressions (in bold) that you can use to show off while speaking Spanish. A native will know them, but if you use these you will impress them. Also, in your writings these words will look quite good.
NOTE: Some of them are quite formal and not used in conversations.

  • similar - semejante, afín, cercano, aproximado, símil, parecido (adj.) (similar)
  • parecerse - asemejarse, semejar, darse un aire, recordar a (to resemble)
  • divertido - ameno, entretenido (adj.) (fun)
  • difícil - peliagudo, arduo, espinoso (adj.) (difficult)
  • fácil - sencillo, factible (adj.) (easy)
  • empezar - emprender (to begin)
  • terminar - concluir, ultimar, finiquitar (to finish)
  • la misión -  la empresa, el cometido, la tarea, la labor, el quehacer  (mission, duty)
  • caro - costoso, prohibitivo (adj.) (expensive)
  • barato - asequible, económico (adj.) (cheap)
  • distraer, desentender, simular - hacerse el sueco (expression, lit.
  • to do the Swedish. To avoid doing something that you must do)
  • enfermo - aquejado, indispuesto, alicaído (adj.) (sick, ill)
  • la historia - el cuento, la leyenda, la fábula (story, tale)
  • el cotilleo - chisme, chismorreo, enredo (gossip)
  • aprender - cultivarse, formarse, educarse, empollar (to learn)
  • gustar - cautivar, embelesar (to like)
  • saber - estar al corriente, estar al tanto (to know about something)
  • siempre - perpetuamente, constantemente, continuamente (always)
  • malo - diabólico, maléfico, maldito, ruin, infame, sinvergüenza, insolente, maligno, malicioso, depravado, inmoral, pérfido (adj.) (bad, as in “a bad person”)
  • malo - nocivo, dañino, perjudicial, nefasto (adj.) (bad)
  • comprar - adquirir, obtener (to buy)
  • la tienda -el comercio, el establecimiento, el negocio, la botica (shop)
  • continuar -prorrogar, prolongar, preservar, aguantar, proseguir (to continue)
  • buscar - indagar, rebuscar, escudriñar, revolver (to search)
  • contestar - objetar, contradecir, rebatir, refutar, rechazar, disputar, discutir, argüir (to reply, as in refute)
  • abandonar - marcharse, desaparecer, largarse, ausentarse (to abandon, as in “to leave a place”)
  • feliz - radiante, contento, risueño, campante (adj.) (happy)
  • triste - afligido, apenado, desconsolado, abatido, entristecido, apesumbrado, desolado, deshecho, desamparado, mustio, taciturno, tristón (adj.) - sad
  • antipático - desagradable, enojoso, aguafiestas, pesado (adj.) (obnoxious)
  • la ciudad - la urbe, la localidad, el municipio, la población
  •  (city)
  • el país - la nación, la patria, el pueblo, el estado (country)
  • la familia - la estirpe, el linaje (family)
  • los padres - los progenitores, los ascendientes, los antecesores (parents)
  • la casa - el domicilio, la vivienda, la residencia, la morada, el inmueble, la edificación (house)
170728 EXO-L Japan Magazine Q&A: Kyungsoo

Q1. Your ideal bedroom interior design?

A. I don’t like having a lot of stuff lying around, so if it were possible I’d like to have a modern and simple design. With a darker monochrome scheme.

Q2. A rule in the dorm?

A. Because we’ve been living together for so long, we understand each other. It seems we don’t have anything fixed. A rule to not be a nuisance is enough.

Q3. Tell us about another member’s habit!

A. Baekhyun has the room next to mine, but I think he gets sleep paralysis. He’ll groan “ah…” and stuff. I go to sleep hearing that all the time (laughs).

Q4. A habit or something you always do at home?

A. Nothing in particular. Watching Youtube videos or movies on my phone before going to sleep, if that counts. It might be good to stretch both sides of my back, but I don’t like stretching much (laughs).

Q5. Your phone’s lock screen?

A. It’s of the movie La La Land. It’s a project by a director I like, and it left an impression because I’d never seen a musical-type film.

Q6. Picture you took recently with your phone?

A. Trees, city lights from an airplane. And… it seems to be full of pictures of food (laughs).

Q7. A recent dream you had?

A. I don’t dream that vividly. It usually feels like it gets dark, and then I wake up.

Q8. Something you’re concerned with in your casual outfits?

A. Because clothes aren’t exciting to me and I don’t like looking too flashy, I avoid such wear.

Q9. Something recent that made you smile a lot?

A. When I ate this delicious tempura! It was from this Michelin-star tempura shop in Japan that I like. I like Japanese food in general.

Q10. The saddest thing that happened to you recently?

A. Although almost nothing happened personally [to make me sad], if I want to feel sad I’ll watch a movie that forces me to be. It’s not a recent release, but the Korean movie The Last Blossom made me cry awfully.

jpn to kor: @Nicht_allein | kor to eng: fydk

anonymous asked:

Hello! These blogs are so super helpful, and yours is here just in time for me to begin writing my story! So thank you so much for your help in advance. I'm writing a story about a soldier that was captured during war. Part of the story is him struggling to trust his therapist enough to open up about what happened. During this time where he refuses to talk to anyone, how would PTSD affect his everyday actions, his thoughts, etc.? Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Have a great weekend!!!

Hooboy. I’m going to just list several symptoms of PTSD and explain how they would each drain his energy and limit his ability to do things and how to include these in your writing. 

1. Hyper-Arousal

  • Hyper-vigilance: Every little sound and shadow is going to make his brain go into overdrive. It is going to kick his fight-or-flight mode on high and its almost never going to calm down. This is EXTREMELY draining. His brain and body is going to be a coiled spring, ready for danger, at all times. This is physically exhausting and drains spoons incredibly quickly. 
    • Some ways this will change his daily life - he won’t be able to spend as much time in crowds or even just outside his house because there is too much stimulation for him to handle for to long. He probably won’t sleep well because again, all those little noises houses make at night is going to make him panic and lose more spoons - he could combat this by getting a white noise machine. 
  • Emotional Outbursts: Many individuals with PTSD may experience unstable emotional states. 
    • It wouldn’t be odd for him to suddenly feel very angry or irritable with no recognizable reason or target. He may also swing the other way and start crying without any warning. These episodes are extremely draining and there frequency may prevent your character from getting things done. 
  • Lack of Concentration: High levels of distraction, the hyper-vigilance, the adrenaline constantly running through his body is going to make if difficult for your character to concentration for an extended period of time.
    • This lack of concentration may make it difficult for your character to work, attend school, do homework or fill out things like medical forms for doctors appointments. This could lead to him pushing such appointments back because he is unable to prepare for them.

2. Avoidance 

  • Situational Avoidance: Your character is going to try to avoid any situation that might remind him of his trauma.
    • If he was in a tank that was bombed, he may go out of his way to avoid driving. If something happened in a wooded area, he may take a longer route to avoid a similar area because it reminds him of his trauma. This could make your character miss deadlines, appointment times, or cause a significant amount of time to be dedicated to this avoidance which means other things will not get done. 
  • Social Isolation: Another type of avoidance is social avoidance - this means your character may avoid his family and friends, either because he doesn’t have the energy to be social or being around other people cause him to panic. Being forced into these situations would drain his energy very quickly.
    • This may cause him to avoid things like birthday celebrations, holiday parties, any type of gathering. These events are going to be extremely exhausting as your character is already tired and the amount of people and noise are going to exhaust him. 
    • Something else that might influence his social isolation is his PTSD influencing his view of other people - he may begin to mistrust others and feel as if the world is a dangerous place. This mindset is extraordinarily draining and would significantly impact his energy levels. 
  • Triggers: Triggers are sights, sounds, smells, situations, items; pretty much anything that reminds your character of his trauma. 
    • Before he is aware of his triggers, he will most likely stumble upon many of them and suffer from flashbacks or anxiety attacks, which is extremely exhausting.
    • When he knows his triggers, he is going to try his best to avoid them, which may mean changing his routine, getting up earlier to go shopping when it is quieter, not going to fun events like fairs or the movies because he doesn’t want to fun into a trigger. 
    • Triggers are often unavoidable or unexpected, prompting exhausting anxiety attacks or flashbacks multiple times a day, eating up time to get things done and exhausting your character.
      • Consider what his trauma consists of - does it involve guns? If so, it might not be just real guns that can trigger an anxiety attack or flashback. Plastic guns, guns in movies or TV shows, sounds that are similar like a car backfiring or fireworks, the smell of gunpowder, even just something that shoots something, like a Nerf Gun. Think through his potential triggers and then think about all the situations those could be found in - he is going to have to schedule his entire day around avoiding these triggers, especially when he is not actively working with his therapist on his trauma at this point.

3. Flashbacks/Remembering the Trauma

  • Nightmares: When he does fall asleep, he is most likely going to have nightmares. 
    • He may or may not remember the specifics of the nightmare, but he will most likely wake up in a panic, shaking, sweating. It’s going to take him a long time to fall back to sleep, if he even does. If he does fall back to sleep, it may be a very tense sleep, waking up frequently and not allowing his body to relax - this means he is going to wake up in the morning already exhausted, anxious, and running on panic. 
  • Flashbacks: Flashbacks are often one of the stereotypical symptoms of PTSD, however they are extremely common. Flashbacks may happen multiple times a day, at varying severity each time. 
    • One type of flashback is an emotional flashback - these flashbacks only affect the individuals emotional state, not their senses. So if your character is triggered and reminded of his trauma, his emotional state may quickly move to match the emotional state during the trauma - so intense fear, adrenaline, anger, sadness. These intense episodes that may come at anytime, last up to an hour, and are extremely exhausting. 
    • The common type of flashbacks you see in media are sometimes called ‘full flashbacks’ or ‘psychological flashbacks’. This is when the brain believes that it is back during the traumatic event, and the individuals senses - sight, hearing, smell, taste - are going to be taken back to the moment of the trauma. Your character will not be fully in reality at the time and any attempts to touch or otherwise break the individual out of the flashback could result in a negative or fearful reaction. These flashbacks can also last a significant amount of time and be draining. 

Now, you said that this was before your character began working with his therapist, but these symptoms won’t go away suddenly. As your character begins to work through his trauma and develop coping skills, these symptoms may decrease in severity or disappear all together eventually. However, some PTSD sufferers will always have some of these symptoms and have to cope with them. 

I hope this helps!

- Mod Riley

10

Happy birthday Ianto Jones!! (19.08.1983)

I’m away from home (and my DVDs) so I apologize for the quality, but I wanted to do something ;)

I saw Rebecca’s latest sketch and instantly knew what I had to do

This is what happens if you let me listen to “Shut up and dance” on repeat for at least 4 hours straight