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is it just me or am i dying and crying for help
@demineedsmooresleep here ya go

Hardship (2)

Well, I’ve decided that I liked it enough and could fight through the heaviness of the whole fic plot to at least write a second part. As I stated previously, it’s reminiscent of Life As We Know It, so even if it ends up quite a bit different, it’s still somewhat of a cross-over. 

Anyway, I’m tagging this for potential smut and stuff. (I srsly feel so cringey that ya’ll are subjected to this!!) You know the deal, be an adult to read this. Also, warning - mentions death.

This is 4500 words guys, so you better enjoy it xx 

(I know everyone might be waiting on Plus One, but it’ll be posted eventually.)

@towongfu2 @celestev31 @milymargot @jackiewalsh2013 @annemarieted @kneekeyta @kingbeeyonce @fuck-sewing-machine @irish-girl-84 @mmfdfanfic @mykuhkors @i-dream-of-emus @rhi3915 @lovinglifeandlivinglove @mirandasmadeofstone @nutinanutshell @voodoomarie @tinakegg @rockinthebeastmode @protectfinnnelson @hey1tskat1e @eveerez @workinggirl101 @likeashootingstarfades @raeonashadowcaster @arathewallflower @lilaviolet @bitchy-broken @bitchesbecrazy89 @thatfunnygirllauren @emmatationsforall @lurkernolonger @lily-pop-2 @mallyallyandra @l88cym

Avery throws his bowl on the floor in front of his highchair, startling Rae and Finn who are both sat at the table in front of him.

Finn chuckles lowly as he scoops the bowl up and places it out of Avery’s reach. “Avery,” he scolds, the tip of his index finger stroking Avery’s cheek.

“Do you really think you’re up for this?” Rae asks, getting up from her seat to get a towel to clean the floor of mashed carrots. She scoops the carrots into a pile, doing her best not to smear them further as she waits for Finn’s answer.

Finn is clearly annoyed by her question, his smile falling and his posture straightening in his chair. “Me? Why are you doubting me? ”

Rae shrugs in reply, throwing the mashed carrots into the bin. “Well, you don’t really have a normal job with normal hours, do you?”

“I’m a DJ, Rae, I’ve got a regular slot. It’s no less normal than yours.”

“I have a coffee shop, Finn. It’s obviously not the same thing,” she scoffs, waving him off as he tries to hand Avery to her.

“Rae, we’ve already decided that Rick’s sister weren’t right for Avery. We haven’t got much choice here.” Finn dips forward at the waist, trying to get Avery to grab onto Rae.

Her arms cross just below her chest, closed off from taking Avery from him. “I’m not changing his wet nappy every time he’s got one.”

Finn hikes Avery higher up on his side, his shirt trailing along with it and exposing a bit of his stomach.

Rae is distracted for a moment by the flash of skin, unknowingly staring. Her arms drop to her sides, giving Finn an in.

Finn must notice the direction of her gaze as he steps closer to her, a little swivel in his hips. “Tell you wha’, you change this one and I’ll get the next,” he drawls, his free hand lightly touching her forearm.

Her eyes drop to his hand on her forearm and she yanks her arm back as if scalded. “Don’t.”

“Rae, come on, I were only touching your arm.”

“Who knows where that hand has been,” she says, wiping her arm against her jeans in a show of revulsion.

“Just a couple o’ pairs of knickers,” he jokes, his voice shaking with mirth.

“You’re horrible,” she tells him, peeling Avery from his side and taking him to his bedroom.

“Rae,” Finn groans from where she’s left him, “I were only joking.”

“It’s not worth the fight,” she chants quietly to herself as she walks. What a twat.

Finn joins her in Avery’s bedroom as she’s putting a clean nappy on, the wet nappy still sitting on the chest of drawers. “Are you nearly finished?” he asks, moving to her side.

She imagines she looks a bit like that possessed girl from The Exorcist with how fast her head spins in his direction. “Think you can move any faster?” she challenges. She moves to the side and out of Finn’s way, her hand pointing at Avery as she says, “be my guest.”

“Do you really think we can manage this, raising a child?” Rae asks from behind Finn as he gets to work. “We can barely stand each other.”

She won’t look at him as he contemplates his answer, she doesn’t want to see the change in his stance, the very poorly hidden fear. She’s already fearful enough for the both of them.

The doorbell rings before he can answer, sending Rae after it to see who’s stopped by. They aren’t expecting anyone. Everyone that had come up for the funeral had already left yesterday.

She’s halfway down the stairs when she hears Finn yelling from Avery’s bedroom, “he’s just weed all over me shirt!”

She’s nearly bent all the way forward from laughing as she answers the door. She’s met with a number of unfamiliar faces all looking in at her like she might be going mad. She straightens herself out, holding onto the doorframe to pull herself up. “Sorry sorry, just had a bit of a changing mishap.”

The crowd standing outside all smile knowingly as she explains.

“Who are you lot?” Finn inquires from behind Rae as he comes down the stairs with Avery.

Rae is quite sure she hears a drawn out collective sigh from the group when they spot him. She wants to roll her eyes but she refrains.

The small red-headed woman at the front of the group titters. “Oh how rude of us.” She points to each person with her, introducing them to Rae and Finn.

“Izzy, Chop, Chloe, Todd, Archie, Barney,” Rae repeats to herself under her breath, trying to ensure she’ll remember their names. “I’m Rae, and this is Finn,” she introduces.

“Come in.” Rae ushers them all into the house. “Sorry it’s such a mess.”

The group piles into the dining room, all taking seats around the table. Finn gives Rae a look over their heads as he makes his way around the table to take a seat at her side. He doesn’t understand why these people are here either.

Izzy pushes a casserole dish towards Rae. “I’ve brought you dinner. Chloe and Archie have done the same.” She points to the two additional dishes in front of Chloe and Archie respectively. “Thought maybe you could use it.” Her gaze moves to Avery who is currently attached to Finn and unwilling to look at any of the visitors.

“We were so sorry to hear about Elle and Rick,” Izzy explains, her hand reaching out to cover Rae’s. “We were wonderin’ who might be looking after little Avery.”

“Izzy and Archie saw Finn running this morning, so we figured maybe Elle or Rick’s brother might be here taking care of Avery,” Chloe tells them, her eyes darting to Finn and then back to Rae.

“No wonder they’ve been squawking about coming over and paying yous a visit,” Chop pipes up from behind Izzy. He hasn’t taken a seat like the rest of them, instead he’s pacing from one end of the table to the other. He finally stops across the table from Finn, breaking out into a grin. “You sure are a handsome bastard, aren’t ya?”

Izzy looks up at Chop, her cheeks are aflame and her eyes are wide. “Chop!”

Chop makes his way back to Izzy and bends down to place a kiss against her cheek, whispering a fraction too loud, “it’s alright babygirl, you know a good lookin’ fella when ya see one.”

Rae turns from their interaction to look at Finn. Finn is smiling in the direction of the couple, clearly happy with his new status of neighborhood hottie.

She can’t help the groan that slips out, it’s loud and a bit over the top and causes everyone to turn to her. “It’s just…you’re giving him a bigger head than he’s already got.” She moves her hands to either side of her head, inching them further from her head and outward to demonstrate just how big Finn Nelson’s head is.

Barney and Todd laugh into their hands as they watch her, Barney stopping to ask, “are you two not together?”

Finn’s laugh is a little too boisterous for Rae’s liking. “No way, no way in hell,” Finn answers.

Rae turns in her seat to glare at him. “Well don’t say it like that, Finn. Like you’re too good for me!”

It’s Archie who speaks up across the table next, “there has to be a story here, right? Two people don’t just despise each other like this for no reason, especially not when they’re raising a baby together.”

“Oh there’s a story alright.”

Rae grasps the door in front of her and pulls it open. The pub is dimly lit, the smell of cigarette smoke lingers in the air and the sound of some awful indie band assaults her ears as she walks in.

She spots her date before he notices her and she’s glad that she does. She thinks about not going through with it, Elle can’t be mad at her for bailing on Rick’s mate - not when he’s this fit.

Dear Lord he is handsome, with his leather jacket and perfectly coiffed locks, a cigarette dangling from his lips - he bloody looks like he stepped off the cover of Q magazine.

She takes a deep breath and forces herself forward and further into the pub. She pulls at her dress as she walks towards him, hoping that it’s sitting right against her body. She wills him not to look her way as she’s too afraid that she’ll lose her confidence and run once their eyes meet.

When he finally looks up she’s nearly to his table. He catches her gaze and gives her an approving nod, his eyes roaming over her figure. She doesn’t know why, but she stops to let him look.

A lazy grin pulls at the corner of his lips when she pulls up the seat across from him.

“Hiya,” she squeaks, pulling at the hem of the dress as she sits.

“Rae?” he inquires, his eyes focused on her thighs as her dress inches higher and she has to yank it back down.

She leans forward and tilts her head to catch his attention again, bring it back to somewhere above the waist. “That’s me. I imagine you’re Finn?”

He nods. “So, Rae, you want a drink?” he offers, getting up from his seat.

“I’d love a snakebite.”

She watches him at the bar, his back facing her as he waits for her drink. She lets her eyes wander over him, stopping on his perfect arse.

She counts at least three other women eyeing him up while he waits, but he seems completely oblivious. She can’t tell if he’s unaware of just how fit he is or whether he’s so used to the attention that he pays them no mind.

He shoots her a smile over his shoulder when he notices her watching, turning back to grab her drink and pay the bartender before coming back to their table. She appreciates the fact that he doesn’t talk to any of the women that so clearly want his attention as he comes back to her.

She quickly sips at her snakebite to hide her smile.

“Good?” he questions before taking a sip from his own glass.

“Great, thanks.”

“So, Rae,” he speaks softly, leaning forward on his elbows on the table, “why do ya think Rick and Elle were so keen on us meetin’?

“I reckon they just want someone to go on double dates with,” she jokes, shrugging her shoulders.

“Reckon you might be right.” Finn takes another drink from his pint, watching Rae over the rim. “What do you think of this song playing, Rae?” he asks. Undoubtedly this is a test.

Her mouth pulls to the side as she thinks through her answer. She thinks she saw him bobbing his head to the song when he had first sat down, but she can’t lie - not about music anyway. “I think it’s crap.”

The grin he gives her tells her that it’s the right answer, but an answer he wasn’t expecting. “You don’t like this mainstream crap?”

She shakes her head vehemently. “Hate it. Elle made me listen to Backstreet Boys all throughout College and I’m pretty sure my hearing still isn’t right.”

He laughs at that, the grin still plastered on.

She leans in a bit closer to him, trying to speak loudly enough to be heard over the music. “What do you do for a living, Finn?”

“I dj at a club nearby called Venom. Ever heard of it?”

She’s heard of it alright, she and Elle had gone there a few times in the past. It was a really popular nightclub downtown. “I’ve been there before. I wonder if you were djing any of those nights?”

“Doubt it,” he tells her, looking her over again, “woulda remembered you.”

The pink hue that has undoubtedly spread across her cheeks is embarrassing and she quickly moves her hands to cover her face.“Leave it to a DJ to be that smooth,” she teases, pressing her fingers against her cheekbones.

His left eyebrow quirks up just a little bit higher than his right as he scoots his seat a bit closer, a challenging smile on his mouth. “I’m positive I woulda remembered ya.”

She’s quick to change the subject, give herself a break from blushing for five minutes. “What about you? What kind of music do you like?”

She watches his hand sweep through his hair as she takes a sip of her snakebite, waiting for him. She can’t help the smile that tugs at her lips when she spots the tuft of hair standing up at the side of his head.

“I’m a bit stuck in the 90s if I’m honest. There’s nothin’ like listening to Morrissey after a long night at the club playing all that top 40s bullshit.”

She’s intrigued by his answer, especially since she’s quite a fan of 90s rock herself. “Favorite Primal Scream song?”

He’s quick to answer, “

Kowalski, hands down.” He slams his hand down on the table in front of them, making Rae jump and the glasses wobble on the table.

“Jesus, someone is a BIG fan of Primal Scream,” she jokes, grabbing her drink to steady it.

Finn reaches across the table, his thumb sweeping across Rae’s inner wrist. “Sorry ‘bout tha’. I get really into me music,” he apologizes, chuckling.

The warmth from his skin on hers sends a jolt straight to her nether regions and she flinches away from his touch. He looks shocked by her reaction and she finds herself apologizing for her response, her hand reaching forward to squeeze his.

From there their conversation flows nicely, no awkward silences, no stilted dialogue - just a regular chat with a fit bloke who knows even more about music than she does. They discuss new albums they both want, their friendships with Rick and Elle, they even touch on their current relationship status. She’s starting to understand why Rick and Elle might have matched them up.

“Somehow…some way…the worst women always find me,” he tells her, his head falling forward into his palms. He shakes his head in his hands, groaning.

“When was your last relationship?” she asks and Finn’s head shoots up.

“I uh…” he trails off, rubbing at the back of his neck, “it were over a couple of months ago.”

“Was it serious?” She wants to know. Maybe he isn’t ready to start something new and she’d just wasting her time trying it on with him.

He shrugs. “I thought so.”

They sit in silence for a moment before he asks her, “what about you, Rae? Why are you single?”

“Don’t know really. I guess….well, I guess I don’t pick the best out of the bunch,” she explains, her fingers flexing against the tabletop.

“No?” he questions, eyes trained on hers as she speaks.

She shakes her head. “God no. Just ask Elle, she’ll tell ya.”

Finn doesn’t push the topic any further, satisfied that she’s told him enough for today.  

The alcohol coursing through her bloodstream tells her that more alcohol is the answer to be sure to avoid this topic further.

“That’s it, I’m getting us another shot.” She’s out of her seat before he can protest.

He greets her with a smile when she returns with four shots in hand, placing them on the table between them. Throughout the course of the night her chair has inched closer and closer to his and right now their legs are nearly touching they’re so close.

He tilts his body towards her, his mouth close to her ear when he whispers, “truth or dare?”

She’s mortified by the high-pitched giggle that comes tumbling out at his suggestion, her hand going to cover her mouth. When he doesn’t say anything further she turns to look at him, curious about his silence. “You’re joking.”

His mischievous grin tells her he isn’t. He repeats himself, “truth or dare?”

She swallows back a comment about them being adults and answers, “truth.”

“Why do you really think we’ve been set up?”

She shrugs.

“Rae.”

“We’re similar, aren’t we? But I think it’s because you’re very kind, you know your music, and….you’re stupidly fit,” she tells him, taking a shot from the middle of the table and throwing it back. “I figure Elle thought I’d end up fancyin’ you. She’s probably right.”

He smirks. Her answer seems to have pleased him. His elbow bumps against hers on the table, prompting her to ask him next.

“Truth or dare?” she asks, her elbow bumping back against his.

“Truth.”

“What about you, why do you think we’ve been set up?”

“I reckon you’re right about them thinking we’re quite similar. I’ve never met a girl that’s into music like you.”

“Well I -”

He cuts her off, “I’ve not finished, Rae.” His hand moves to cover hers on the table. “You’re very sexy, Rae.” He’s not deterred by her scoff, continuing, “really beautiful. I imagine Rick thought I might end up fancyin’ ya.”

She’s mesmerized by the way his throat contracts as he swallows his shot after he’s spoken.

His fingers flex against her palm as he tugs her hand closer to him on the tabletop. “Truth or dare?”

She hopes she doesn’t live to regret this. “Dare,” she whispers, eyes meeting his.

His stare moves from her eyes, flickering to her lips for a moment before looking down at their joined hands. “I’d - I’d dare ya to kiss me, but I don’t want ya to kiss me only ‘cause of a dare.”

Her hand squeezes his, her eyes glued to the top of his head as he continues to look at their hands. “Finn.”

“Yeah, Rae?” he asks, his head lifting for a moment.

She only needs that small moment to move the few inches it takes to touch her lips to his. The kiss is tender and quick and leaves her head feeling buzzy (it could be the shot, but it’s doubtful).

Finn watches her as she pulls back, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. “Do you mind if we try that again?” he asks, inching closer until their legs are now touching.

“Maybe we should–” n’t, she wants to say, but he kisses her before she can answer fully, his tongue touching hers while one hand cups her jaw and the other latches onto her waist.

He’s phenomenal with his mouth and her hands soon find their way into his hair, weaving her fingers though the locks at the back of his head.

Their mouths only separate long enough for him to demand, “come back to mine.”

She’s quick to acquiesce, grabbing onto his hand as he pulls her from the pub behind him.

The air outside is significantly cooler than earlier and she’s shivering as soon as they step out the door. Finn immediately pulls her to his side, tucking her under his arm and securing her against his warmth.

They don’t get far before he’s pressing her up against the brick of a storefront and kissing at her neck, telling her how much he wants her. She believes him. She can feel his growing desire for her pressed up against her stomach as his leg slips between hers.

A catcall coming from across the road has the pair pulling apart. They share a bashful smile before continuing their journey to Finn’s flat. The air feels thick around them, heavy with their need for each other.

Their shoes are off as soon as they’re inside the flat and his hands are back on her soon after.

She doesn’t have a chance to look around though, Finn covering her mouth with his as he shuts the door behind them, his hand roving down the front of her dress and slipping under the hem.

His hand pauses on her inner thigh. “Tell me you want this, Rae,” he requests, voice low against her throat before he tastes her skin.

She whimpers low in her throat, “I want you,” she tells him. She pushes the straps of her dress down her arms and then does the same with her bra to drive the statement home.

She can feel his lips lift into a smile against her neck before he descends to her nipples, mouth wet against her, causing her to arch her back against him.

With his mouth latched to her he eases her backwards through a door which she assumes is his bedroom. When the back of her legs hit the edge of his bed she falls onto the mattress and he detaches himself to look at her.

Rae moves her hands to cover herself, suddenly squeamish with the thought of him seeing all of her, all the pale skin only covered by a flimsy pair of knickers and her dress bunched up just below her breasts.

He pulls her hands from her body, consuming her with his eyes as he does. “So sexy,” he reassures her, his thumb circling her nipple.

Rae’s arms fall to her sides, opening herself up to him. His words don’t transform her, no, but they do give her the confidence she needs to enjoy this.

He soon replaces his thumb with his mouth, tasting her again before continuing his journey down to her navel, nipping at her curves as he goes. Finn makes quick work of her knickers, pulling them down her long legs.

Rae can’t help but question the brilliance of letting their desire and the influence of the alcohol the pair have consumed potentially damage what could be a good match.

She contemplates addressing this fear out loud, but upon the sight of Finn nestling himself between her thighs she pushes the thoughts from her mind. Why can’t they enjoy this now and still be perfectly suited for each other?

He pushes at her inner thighs with his elbows until she’s spread out before him and he dips his head to devour her. Every coherent thought she’d had goes out the window with each touch of his skillful tongue.

“Oh lord, oh lord jesus christ, oh…” Rae twists the sheets in her fist until her fingers are turning white. “Finn, I’m–” Her cry pierces the air, but Finn doesn’t stop until she’s pulling at his hair.

She’s still trembling from her orgasm when he kisses his way back up her body until he reaches her mouth, pushing his tongue in while he frees himself from his trousers. She laughs when he nearly teeters off the bed, grabbing onto his shoulder to prevent his fall.

“S'not funny,” he grumbles before he takes her mouth again, cutting off her retort. He manages to rid himself of his remaining clothing, having to only separate once to toss his shirt to the floor.

“Itwashilarious,” she mumbles, biting at his lower lip while she positions herself underneath him.

He stills for a moment above her, looking down at her like he’s got something to say.

When he doesn’t speak, she inquires, “what is–” and then he’s inside of her and she can’t speak. She tries, managing a couple “FinAHs,” until he picks up the pace of his thrusts and she’s a whimpering mess.

“Feel good?” He smiles down at her as he pulls her hips up a little higher.

She somehow manages to meet his fervor, pushing as he does. “It’s alright…”

“Oh I’ll bloody show you alright,” he growls, sitting up to kneel between her legs and grabbing at her thighs as he buries himself deeper.

It’s not long before she can’t take it anymore, granting him the release he’s been chasing from her, spasming against him.

By the look on his face, Finn is surprised to find his own release so soon after, riding out his orgasm with long strokes that leave the pair entirely sated.

Rae is happy to discover that he doesn’t ask her to leave, nor does he turn his back to her and fall asleep. Instead, he pulls her to him, kisses the tip of her nose and they drift off to sleep wrapped in each other’s embrace.

She sleeps a dreamless sleep, only stirring due to an exorbitant amount of noise coming from the front of Finn’s flat. She wakes to find the bed empty, but the place where Finn had been is still warm, so he must not have gotten up much before her.

It’s the shouting that comes from the other room that rouses her further. She hurriedly gets up to get dressed, clasping her bra and pulling her dress over her head. She tucks her underwear in her purse and does a quick check in the mirror to make sure she doesn’t look too terrible.

She wipes the eyeliner that’s run underneath her eye, somehow managing to smear it further. However, she doesn’t get a chance to address it further, as an unfamiliar voice shouts from the other room, pulling her attention from the task at hand.

Rae sneaks to the doorway of Finn’s bedroom and peers out into his lounge. She finds a slightly disheveled Finn with his hair askew. He’s only in his boxers with his back facing her, his front facing a rather pretty girl with long blonde hair.

She squeaks when the girl’s eyes land on her, backing into the room and out of sight.

“I’ve seen you already, slag!” the girl shouts.

“Don’t call her that, Rebecca!” Finn yells back.

She doesn’t have much choice in the matter, so she puts a brave face on and steps out into the lounge to face this completely awkward situation.“Hiya.” Rae waves at the girl.

In an unexpected turn, the girl, Rebecca, starts laughing. “Are you serious, Finn? You’ve gone from me to this complete minger?”

“Rebecca,” Finn growls, putting himself between the two women.“You’ve got no right to be here and you’ve got no right to talk to Rae like tha’.”

Rebecca waves him off, stepping to the side of him to get a good look at Rae.

Rae’s arms immediately encircle her body, attempting to hide herself from Rebecca’s perusal of her appearance.

“Come on, Finn. It’s only been a couple of days. Why stoop to bedding that when you can have this?” Rebecca asks, her hands running over her own body.

“A couple of days?” Rae whispers, not realizing she’s asked out loud.

Rebecca holds out two fingers in front of her. “Two to be exact,” she confirms.

Finn turns to Rae then, hands reaching out to her. “Rae, it’s not like tha’, it’s been over–”

She stops him, her hand held out to keep him out of arm’s reach. “No, no it’s fine, Finn. Had a bit of fun, didn’t we?” She makes her way across the room, unable to look at either of the other two people in the room. “Reckon it’s time for me to go. See ya later,” she calls, pulling on her shoes.

“Rae, wait,” Finn calls after her as she passes through the door, taking his stairs two at a time until she’s out to the street. 

**** I realized that I may have a problem when it comes to story lines around meeting at a bar and then gettin’ it on. This is how people get it on A LOT these days, so it’s p. accurate. 

DONT JUDGE ME 😬

bigender-offender-deactivated20  asked:

can you not call yourself or anyone a "transsexual"? that's a porn/fetish term and it's listed as at least offensive, outdated and rude in most places. we are transgender.

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re just ignorant, not being actively hostile.

“Transsexual” was the medical term for this condition from the time medical treatment started, until trans activism started in the early 1990′s, so 45 years give or take. And the reason people have moved away from “transsexual” and adopted “transgender” is that the majority of trans women have no interest in genital surgery, so they wanted a more “inclusive” term that intentionally left their genitals ambiguous. Why did they want that? Because since the beginning of transsexual medical treatment, genital reconstruction surgery was the cornerstone of the so-called “sex change”. In contrast, the transgender agenda is pushing the idea that legal sex change should be based on personal identification, ie the idea that penis is actually a female organ. Meanwhile, as you point out, porn films continued to use the terms “transsexual” and shemale to refer to pre-op trans women.

I refer to myself as a transsexual because I got a so-called sex change. That was the terminology that was used when I was a teen/20-something, and I think I have a right to it. I also refer to myself as transsexual rather than transgendered because I disagree with a lot of transgender ideology: I don’t support legal change of sex designation on demand, I don’t think penis is female, I don’t believe in brain sex, and I don’t believe in male supremacy. All of those ideas are very deeply encoded in trans activism! So in this day and age, by calling myself a transsexual I hope to differentiate my politics.

Furthermore, I think it makes sense to reserve the term transsexual for people who experience sex dysphoria. Maybe it’s just a line in the sand? There are certainly plenty of non-op trans women (no intention to get genital surgery) who I have total respect for - like Kat Blaque. But then, there are the fucking rape-minded assholes like Avery Edison and Jetta Rae. I have ZERO in common with them.

So yeah, that’s why I use the words I use. Hope that makes sense. :)