average worker

it’s really weird that we’re supposed to praise multi billion dollar corporations for paying employees like. barely a living wage.

the fact that some ceos make 800x what their average worker makes is so normalized despite its ridiculousness.

yknow, in the 50s a ceo might make like 20x what their average worker makes. that means while profits have climbed immensely, wages stagnated.

no one can deny that fact. the only excuse is ‘it could be worse’, implying it can’t be better, and, uh, actually functional.

bee related things to set on fire, rated

The Hive: How would you like it if someone went up to your appartment building full of your family and babies and set it on fire? Very rude, 0/10

The Smoker: This is a good and pure suggestion. Calm the bees, they have been working hard and are very tired. Let them rest. 10/10

The Bees’ Knees: How could you even suggest this? How could you even accomplish this? You have some sort of high powered laser and you’re going to waste it on setting bees knees on fire? Shameful. -2/10

The Honeycomb:: Similar to the bee hive, this is full of babies. You are burning bee babies, you sicko. 0/10

The Bees’ Combs: Bees have lots of hair and it’s very hard to keep it all neat, okay? They need those. 3/10

The Beekeeper: I mean, technically the bees don’t need the beekeeper to survive but it is a symbiotic relationship and the beekeeper definitely helps with parasites and stuff. Also it’s probably illegal? 5/10

The Bees’ Needs: I suppose the bees wouldn’t need their needs if you set them on fire. They would become gods, needing nothing. Their lives would soon loose all meaning and all time would merge into a single eternal present, but without needing new experiences or stimulation they wouldn’t care. they would be the only survivors in a increasingly empty universe. they witness heat-death impassively and attempt to pollinate whatever comes next. 8i/10

The Queen: ¡Viva la revolución! 11/10


The DOM3-9000 was first manufactured by Promethean Robotics to be a child’s companion, much like a nanny and playmate all rolled into one. Equipped with a super positronic brain, it was more intelligent than the average factory worker robots, and had quite a child-like cheeky demeanor.

anonymous asked:

Can you post some zookeeper must have items? Like work boots and khaki pants? Rain gear?

Alright, let’s turn this into a mini How to Zookeep because man do I need to continue that series… anyways…

Here’s some of the most helpful things a zookeeper can have…

Rain Gear

Originally posted by biscuitsarenice

What kind of rain gear you get depends on climate and your level of comfort, but in general you’ll at least want a good rain coat. You can either go for a lightweight shell that layers on top of other coats (I have a Patagonia torrentshell) or a heavy duty coat like a large PVC one. Either way, you want something that is strong and not going to rip apart - cheapo ponchos are not a good option here. As for rain pants, that just depends on your level of dedication to not getting wet… If you’re alright looking like a bit of a dork (what keeper isn’t?) and your legs won’t turn into an oven, go for it.


Originally posted by angelicaprocrastinates

Even if you think “I don’t care if my shoes get wet!” or “I just don’t have a use for them!” …the day will come… when you NEED boots… Yes, you will care when your shoes get wet and you get trench foot. You’ll have a use for them. It will happen. If you think you don’t need boots, get the $10 Wal-Mart ones and store them somewhere and forget about them till the day you decide oh-lord-i-need-friggin-boots. And if you DO think you need boots, go ahead and splurge on some comfy, flexible ones like Muck Boots.


Originally posted by astrorhea

The verdict is still out on shoes - do you splurge or save? The thing is, in our line of work, shoes wear out fast. You’ll always here the anecdotal tale of some mythical zookeeper who bought Red Wing boots at a thrift store for $5 and they lasted for 10 years and he was put in his grave wearing them but… Shoes, even the $200 ones, rarely last longer than a year. Most have about a six month lifespan. Many keepers, ‘cause you know, we’re poor, buy the cheapo shoes and let them get worn down to shreds. Some keepers are able to get the nicer fancy shoes (waterproof, good tread, hiking boots, etc.) and they last a while, but still, usually not longer than a year. So if the cheapo shoes are comfy and last you at least 3 months, I say go for it.

Also, invest a few bucks in this:

This stuff is seriously amazing. It’s not a cure-all, but it has extended the life of my many different pairs of boots and shoes by at least a few weeks to months. I’ve used shoe goo to fix everything from a straight up giant hole in the sole of a steel-toed boot (used them for another two months) to minor stuff like small tears in fabric. They also have a plumbing version (called “Plumbing Goo”) that is super waterproof and strong, which I have used in a pinch to patch everything from my rain boots to my car bumper (3 years going strong!)

Pants and Shorts (probably khaki)

Originally posted by huffingtonpost

You’ll need some most-likely-khaki pants and shorts for your day. Unless your work is extra fancy and provides pants as well as shirts. Seeing as our profession is mostly women, we run into the problem of most clothing manufacturers thinking that women’s pants should all be paper-thin, skin-tight, lacking pockets, and generally enforcing the patriarchy.

So shopping in the men’s area (and writing a strongly worded letter demanding POCKETS) is probably your best best. Honestly, I’ve found some of my best pants (including flannel lined khakis) at the thrift store. Time to pop some tags.

Originally posted by dontspeakbitchjustdie

Other places to check out include sporting goods stores, Old Navy, and outdoors stores. You’ll want lightweight pants/shorts for the summer and heavy duty in the winter. Also either buy some liquid stitch or learn how to sew because you’re gonna get some holes in them.


Originally posted by sachinteng

Multi-tools are incredibly handy for zookeepers. You’ll probably want the fold-out kind with pliers like a standard Leatherman. Gerber multi-tools are also pretty good if you want a more affordable option. It’s easiest to get a carrying case that attaches to your belt loop. If you don’t want or need the bulk of a multi-tool, a small utility knife or swiss army knife can still be very useful.


Originally posted by aetna

Y’all. Most of us are outside all the time. Or at least outside more than the average office worker. We need to wear sunscreen. If you’re outside a lot in direct sunlight, please wear sunscreen. I started getting into the habit of it last year and it’s annoying to remember and sometimes I forget but it’s good to at least try. 

Originally posted by giphy

I recommend keeping a couple of sunscreen sticks around at work as a start. Try to put some on before you leave the house. Obviously if it’ll be downpouring or you work in a basement, you might not need it as much. But still. Protect yourselves.

anonymous asked:

Hey! Just wanted to ask what exactly the problem is with these genetic testing laws. Like I know it's definitely related to eugenics somehow and that's horrible but what are the concrete implications??

I mean… there’s a reason why we have laws in place to keep this kind of testing from being allowed. It will be taking away protections under The Americans with Disabilities Act and the Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act. These protections mean that employers can’t use genetic information to hire, fire, or promote an employee, they can’t even require genetic testing, and health insurers can’t require genetic tests either or use results of genetic tests to deny coverage.

This is an opportunity to expose employees privacy that could easily result in outright discrimination. It will result in discrimination. Here’s a response from the American Society of Human Genetics: 

“A key component of ADA and GINA is that they prevent workers and their families from being coerced into sharing sensitive medical or genetic information with their employer. For GINA, genetic information encompasses not only employees’ genetic test results but also their family medical histories. H.R.1313 would effectively repeal these protections by allowing employers to ask employees invasive questions about their and their families’ health, including genetic tests they, their spouses, and their children may have undergone. GINA’s requirement that employees’ genetic information collected through a workplace wellness program only be shared with health care professionals would no longer apply.” 

To make this all worse, employers will be able to demand that their employees undergo genetic testing and health screenings and then severely punish them if they refuse. Declining could lead to health insurance payments to be raised by 30 percent - which would be thousand of dollars for your average worker. And if your employer has a wellness program but doesn’t sponsor health insurance, they would be allowed to dock the paychecks of workers who don’t participate. This is outright coercion and completely vile. 

I guess I’d suggest reading the links I provided in the initial article to get a better understanding, or even the bill itself - it’s relatively short. 

February 20, 1917 - Food Riot in Brooklyn

Pictured - A policeman confronts rioting women.

Sudden jumps in food prices over several weeks in New York triggered riots by up to 3,000 women, many of them Eastern European immigrants, on February 20, 1917. With babies on their hips, women made their way to New York’s city hall that morning, protesting in English and Yiddish at the dramatic rise in food prices that made it impossible to feed their families. The rioters pushed over peddler’s carts, drenching their produce in kerosene and setting it alight, and chasing off merchants by throwing stones.

A mayor’s representaive peered down at the crowd and promised to allow three of them to meet with the mayor if the rest dispersed, which they did. The housewife complained that the cost of feeding a family was at least $22 a month, when the average worker would be fortunate to make $40 in that time. Prices had at least doubled in a few weeks. The city responded in March by securing several thousands pounds of produce and forcing wholesalers to lower prices.


Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you our terrfying-and-totally-not-tryng-to-bolt-it antagonist Kira Yoshikage

Some of you may remember about a month ago when a customer handed me a bag of dog shit.  If that grossed you out, then I would scroll past. What happened today was… worse. 

A customer flagged down one of our managers and I was around the corner. “Excuse me! Who is the manager on duty?”

“That would be either me or (name redacted).”

“I am REALLY sorry about this but I am about to ruin your day. Someone left a mess in the men’s bathroom. Its… really bad. Like… I would lock the bathroom door until this is taken care of.”

So me and the MoD take a look and we can smell it before we even open the door. She gags, I try not to. We don’t WANT to take a closer look, but we do anyway. There are two stalls in the men’s room, one with a urinal and one without. The offending stall is the one without and its the furthest from the door. Before we even see the whole thing, we can see some of the mess on the floor. 

We open the door and-

There was more human feces in that stall that can fit in the average human stomach. I want to say at least five pounds. Maybe a third of it made it into the bowl and the rest was everywhere else. I was pulling some CSI tricks on this pile of literal shit to figure out what happened- it looked like he started at an angle and realized too late that he was hitting the wall and the shit started hitting the back of the toilet and when he tried to adjust he lost control. Just guessin’, just guessin’. 

You can see that he tried to clean it up, but enigmatically decided to use his shirt and gave up almost immediately because the shirt was just draped over the side of the toilet seat and getting baptized in tainted toilet water. 

Now, my very first job when I was 18 was at Camp Millhouse, which is kind of a summer camp for mentally or physically disabled kids and adults, many of which were incontinent. So while I don’t LIKE encountering an excess of human feces, it doesn’t affect me nearly as much as it does your average retail worker who rarely encounters human feces that didn’t come out of their own asses and I know how to take care of it efficiently. Also it doesn’t smell as bad if you’re chewing gum. 

So they leave me to my work so that I can clean it up enough so that other people can stomach it. Basically I get the task of making shit more appealing. Go me. 

I am attacking this from all sides, spraying it with our sanitzer, mopping it into the toilet, scrubbing the place down with the brush. This is in the middle of a shift change- one girl just coming in, the other is coming back from lunch, they pop their head into the men’s room and they’re like..

“What are…” and then the smell hits them and they recoil. 

“You don’t want to know.” But they stand there, looking at the brown mess of human waste in complete disbelief. They can only see the floor of it.  “Keep walking.”

After about a half hour cleaning, the assistant manager comes in to help. “Oh my god- its chunky.”

“Yeah, someone might wanna tell the Golden Corral across the street that they’re out of pulled pork and bell peppers.”

“Is that… is that an entire clove of garlic?”

“Nah. That’s a shallot.”

“Who eats an entire shallot without chewing?!”

“Well, I don’t know, but he’s missing his shirt.”

So the moral of the story is respect your retailers, always have a stick of  gum on you, and chew your food thoroughly before swallowing. 

I’m going to go burn these shoes. 

A True Friend Of Breakfast.

When describing honey, I could use a lot of buzzz words or (honey) comb through my list of catchy turns-of-phrase. Sure, that would bee sweet. But when it comes to having honey in the morning, no descriptive tricks bee necessary. Honey is a true friend of breakfast.

An average worker bee lives for only six weeks and in that time it creates only a slight 1/12 teaspoon of honey. It takes approximately twenty-four bees to create the smooth, clear topping for a single pancake. Two teaspoons of honey can be a terrific change of pace from the same old maple syrup topping.

To create a single pound of honey, an army of bees must gather the nectar from over two million flowerzzzzzzz. A quick breakfast of toast with butter and honey suddenly seems poetic when you consider that it’s spread with the nectar of thousands of flowerzzzzzzz.

Whether as a topping or an ingredient in recipes, honey can bee a welcome and healthy change from sugar and syrup. A 60 calorie tablespoon of honey contains zzzzzzzzero fat and cholesterol and you always know what you’re getting. Honey is just what it says it is… pure honey… nothing else.

Honey can replace refined sugar in nearly all recipes. Simply swap it in cup for cup. Since honey contains its own sweet liquid, you may want to reduce other liquids in the recipe by a quarter cup per cup of honey. Some honey enthusiasts also suggest reducing the cooking temperature by 25 degreezzzzzzzzz (so as to not brown the honey) and increasing the leavening agent (baking soda/powder) a half teaspoon per cup of honey.

There are many health benefits to honey. It contains antioxidants It’s a great source for vitamin Bee 6, thiamin, niacin and riboflavin. A single teaspoon can sooth a sore throat. When mixed with whiskey and lemon, it becomes an effective cough syrup. There are those from the old school, who say honey even helps to cure a hangover.

And after you eat honey, why not brush some in your hair. Our versatile friend has been used as beauty treatment for hair and skin since the time of Cleopatra.

Certainly, one could drone on for hours about nature’s perfect sweetener, but, to quote Friedrich Engels, “An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory”.

So bee it at the table, in the kitchen or even in the shower, give honey a try and see what all the buzz buzzzz buzzzzz bee about.

Now. I am hungry.

article from. mrbreakfast.com

anonymous asked:

Hi idk if you've decided on all your occupations for WMB but I'd like to make a suggestion if that's ok? My partner is a telecommunications tech so he fixes phone signals/wifi/cables in homes, plenty of handy work. If you can't do anything with it that's totz ok but I just thought since i have insight to the job it could be useful and tbh I'm just in love with the concept of WMB, giving the average worker the chance to be a sex god is so cute and I love that you're doing this xx

Suggestions are 100% okay as long as everyone understands that there are only seven members and therefore seven jobs (although last night I considered giving JK a second one…still considering that). Maybe this becomes a larger series that I can add to when I need a break from multi-chapter writing. I guess it depends on feedback and whether I stay interested, but I’ll consider it. Thanks!

I raise to your consideration: the DMLE’s Christmas Party.

Believed to be non-existant or at least tremendously boring by the average, ill informed MACUSA worker, it is actually the insiders’ tip for a wild time - or, at least, one of the best options if you want to get really drunk and have fun doing it. Many people would think Graves controls the alcohol stock to prevent exactly that - truth is that he just wants to make sure he gets his fair share of it. He has a secret weakness for eggnog, not that he’d tell anyone (anyone can tell that, anyway; he’s not as subtle about it as he thinks).

The Secret Santa gifts are handed out - every other year the gifts are deliberately useless and stupid, which can lead to general amusement. The year Graves is recued, he gets a little Secret Santa gift from every auror as an apology for not noticing that something fishy was going on with him.

Usually, there are no additional guests allowed, because in honesty they enjoy having this awesome party all to themselves, but Tina insisted on bringing a plus one and she got the short end of the stick so many times recently, that “fine, Goldstein, bring your damn outsider along“ and that is how Newt Scamander ends up on the office party, much to everyone’s delight. Delgado has an insane amount of fun trying to get Graves and Newt to stumble across one another under a mistletoe. He may or may not end up with a lot of additional paperwork next year because of that.

It is also Delgado who makes everyone sing traditional Christmas songs from time to time, not that anyone is sober enough to object, at that point of time.

The Christmas tree in the office is large and beautifully decorated. Something in Newt’s pocket seems to try to get out to snitch the twinkling golden star from the very top…
All in all, everyone has a great time and the highlight of the evening is definitely when someone makes it snow inside of the rooms for duelling practice for a bit so they can all have a big snowball fight, first in teams and later on all against all.

(Tagging @am-graves and @classicalcassiopeia for obvious reasons, I think. I hope you have fun reading this.)

Who’s Your Daddy?

A/N: The finale has arrived! Chapter 2.0, 2/2, 4/4, whatever you so please to refer it as! All credit for the au idea goes to @shadowfear-art, you are awesome btw. And to all reading, thank you and enjoy!

Fandom: Borderlands | Prompt: Angel is roughly 2-4, and since Jack’s a workaholic, she doesn’t really get the amount attention she wants. So naturally, Angel finds someone who will pay attention to her. | Pairing: Rhack | Baby!Angel AU

As Jack made his way down to the Central Hub. He’d given that Frits person the task of scanning the man with his daughter. What came back was a small, but decent, sized document on a Hyperion employee named Rhys Somerset, working in middle management. Nothing very serious came up other then the few expected infractions from any average Hyperion worker.

“What are you up to, Angel?” Jack mused as the lift came to elegant stop before it’s doors slid en to reveal the bright, spacious Hub of Heroism. Which had surprisingly been named that before Jack’s hostile take over of both the space station and the entire company itself. But that wasn’t really important, now was it?

To his delight, the Hub was practically barren of life. Not that it mattered per-say. Without his usual two body guards and an always-different-from-the-last PA, he didn’t nearly have as much of a presence, and was rarely ever noticed. Not that people ever really paid much attention to anything that wasn’t five centimeters from their noses. What was actually delightful about it was he wouldn’t have to murder his way through a crowd. Not that he was ever opposed to doing so. It was kind of a fifty/fifty way to pass the time usually.

Jack walked briskly to where he’d marked off a small green park, usually only there for aesthetic purposes as it was filled with nothing real, only synthetic crap to help distract people from the fact that they were actually floating around in fucking space. But, to be fair, weren’t planets just technically floating around in space too? Although, there was a more minuscule chance of an entire planet exploding he supposed. Whatever, wasn’t important.

He walked slowly and carefully along the pathway until he caught sight of the two at the very centre of the area where there were less trees and more room to fool around. He stood up against a fake tree nearest to where they were. It could almost have been described as awkward, the feeling that gripped him as he watched his daughter goof around with the lanky brunette, seemingly having the time of her life.

“I’ve got you now!” The guy, Rhys, said as he picked her up and swung her around carefully, making her scream in glee.

“No! No-ooooo…” She tried to say between fits of laughter.

Rhys was smiling himself as he slowly spun her back down to the ground, standing back upright and stumbling in place a bit. “Thank you for flying Air-Rhys.”

“Rice! Rice!” Angel chanted in reply.

“Fine, fine. Thank you, little lady, for flying Air-Rice.” He smirked, tousling her hair and then tweaking her nose. Putting his hands on his hips he straightened out again, now surveying the area- his gaze just nearly catching Jack before he ducked behind the tree. When he peeked back out from the behind the tree, the brunette had returned his gaze to Angel, with one brow raised. “Now, aren’t we supposed to be looking for someone?”

“No!” She squealed, jumping up and throwing herself into him, knocking him flat on his ass.

Rhys clenched his teeth, but still offered her a smile. “Come on, Angel. We can’t stay here forever.” He pointed out, poking her on the nose as she sat between his legs which were extended out lazily.

She didn’t say anything, only crossed her arms and blew a raspberry. It honestly shocked Jack. He’d never seen her act so animate around anyone really, aside from himself. She always seemed to treat everyone with the same bored expression, making them lucky if see even gave them a passing gaze. Who is this guy? Jack subconsciously moved around the tree to see his daughter more clearly, his leg scrapping against the synthetic bark and drawing Angel’s attention to him, and by extension the brunette’s.

Angel’s face blanked first as she watched him step out away from the tree’s cover, then a light clicked on in her eyes. “Daddy!”

Jack continued walking forward to meet her as she got up and ran toward him, flinging her tiny arms around his neck as he kneeled down to embrace her back. “What have you been up to, kiddo? It was very naughty of you to disappear like that, Angel.” He told her, holding her back at arms length so she could read how serious his expression was. Then his eyes darted to the younger man who’d gotten up and followed Angel over, carefully edging his way closer. “And who exactly might you be?” His tone dropped, become low and dangerous as he stood up to his full height. This close, dude was definitely tall, but just a touch shorter then Jack himself.

The younger man stared at him with recognition once he got a little closer. The smallest hint of fear present in his brown eye, the blue one remaining dull and expressionless, as did all EchoEyes. “So I take it you’re daddy.” Jack could pinpoint the exact moment regret had crossed his face after the words had left his mouth. “Her daddy, I mean- wait, no, father, her father, ha ha… ha ha ha…”

Jack watched with sick amusement as he tripped over himself, running a surprisingly shaky hand through his bronze hair. Jack hadn’t known nervousness could affect the performance of equipment like that. An interesting tidbit. “You can just call me Jack, sweetheart.” He interrupted, holding out a hand.

Rhys stared at the hand like it was a foreign concept he’d never been faced with before. It wasn’t until Angel lightly took hold of his fleshy hand and laid it in Jack’s that the handshake could commence. “Like dis, Rice.” She whispered loudly, patting their two hands in hers.

“Ah-hm. I see.” The lightest hue of pinks dazzled his paled cheeks as he cleared his throat. “I- uh, you can call me Rice- no, wait, I mean Rhys. I’m Rhys.”

Normally Jack despised the whole star-struck idiot routine, but this guy seemed to have the perfect mix of fear, respect, and confusion to actually be kinda adorable. Jack passed a quick look down at Angel who was giving him a look that caused him to give her a double take. Cheeky little… Finally taking back his hand, Jack stood with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, pinning Rhys with a malicious stare. “So how is it that you crossed paths with my daughter, exactly?”

Rhys blinked as a primary response, looking down at Angel for some sort of a clue as to how he should respond. She merely smiled expectantly at him. Looking back up at he stoic wall before him, his mind drew a blank, the only answer surfacing was a mimic of something Angel had said early. “I'uhno.”

With e slight crease of Handsome Jack’s brow, Rhys watched his life flash before his eyes. Man, had it been a dull kaleidoscope of blah. What way was he going to end it off though? He didn’t exactly fancy being pummeled to death by the man’s large hands, but being slammed out an air-lock didn’t sound very desirable either. It was the sound of genuine laughter that brought Rhys back to the situation at hand.

“Oh, Angel, you sure pick the funny one’s, don’t you?” Handsome Jack shook his head, his two toned eyes alight with humour. His eyes… was that what Angel had meant? “Okay now, seriously, answer the question or I might lose my patience with you.”

Rhys’ heart lifted from the second wind, setting his mind in better order. “Ah, well… I don’t know how she did it, but… She just sort of, appeared?” God, he had to sound crazy.

Jack only nodded, his previous stone-faced countenance returning. “Where? Was it just one second nothing, then boom, you had a baby?”

“Sort of… See, I was at my desk when I was basically electrocuted in the leg. When I looked, boom, baby.” Rhys made hand gestures to imply an explosion, which was a little far from an accurate depiction. He smiled awkwardly.

Jack continued to nod, shifting his gaze to Angel, who slowly bowed her head, looking down at her feet as she clasped her hands behind her back. “Angel, look at me.” She did so, but very slowly, looking up at her father with huge blue eyes through dark fringe. “What have I told you?”

“You love me?”

“Yes, what else?” Jack continued, but Rhys noticed the softening in his tone.

She sighed, swinging her arms and looking down. “I don’t do the scary thing.”

“Mhmm. And what did you do?”

“… the scary thing …”

Rhys had been rather engrossed in their little dispute, but was starting to feel that he was coming close to missing his opportunity to escape. He had shifted barely half a step when Jack’s gaze snapped back to him. He quickly retook his original spot, hands held tightly at ease as he stared back innocently. Jack squinted at him before returning his attention back to his daughter.

“Now what do you need to say, Angel?”

“Thank you?”

“No, the other other thing.”

“Dahl sucks?” She said with incredibly good pronunciation,chick could only have come from saying it a lot.

“No, no, the other other thing.”

Angel gave him a pitiful look of misunderstanding.

‘I’m sorry’, Angel.”

“Why you sorry, daddy?” She replied almost immediately. Jack sputtered for a moment until catching the tiny smile that crossed the child’s lips. “I’m sorry, daddy. And, Rice.” She added, turning and giving Rhys a sincere smile.

Rhys nodded, reaching out to ruffle up her hair, without considering how Jack might feel about him being so casual towards her. “No harm, no foul, little one.”

“Oh yes, now to deal with you, Ricey.” Jack finally acknowledged him again, but his attention was still on his daughter as he lifted her up, holding her against his side. “What do you think we should with ‘em, cupcake?” Angel made a seriously thoughtful look before leaning in and whispering into her father’s ear whatever her thoughts were. “Is that so? You sure, Angel?” She gave a definite nod. “Alright. Say, kiddo, you do work for Hyperion, right?” Here he finally rested his eyes on Rhys.

Although it didn’t seem the best idea, he spoke his mind. “Yup. Middle management. Which, ha ha, I should probably get back too. Work and stuff.” He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder to signify his desire to jump ship.

“Nah, don’t bother.” Was the only reply.

“D- don’t bother?” Rhys asked, unsure if he actually wanted an answer.

“Yeah, you’re fired.” Jack shifted his daughter’s weight, still staring at Rhys with an unreadable expression. Both of them seemed to be staring at him like he was a bug under glass.

He was floored. He was fired? Just like that? But as far as his knowledge was concerned, there was only one way that someone lost a job on Helios. Especially when it was the CEO of the company who was firing you- in person no less. “Oh.” He nodded, drowning in his inner monologue of how impossible this was, but he projected an air of neutral stability.

Jack mimed his nodding, moving to walk around him, but paused dead in front of him instead. “You’ll start your new job as my PA asap. Your main detail will be keeping a careful eye on this little one here.”

Rhys was certain that the amount of times his heart had stopped in this short span of time was terrible for his health. “Your PA? Me? A- are you sure I’m qualified?”

Jack slapped a heavy hand on Rhys’ shoulder, his smile none to kind. “For your sake, you’d better hope so. I’d hate to loose two PA’s in one day.”

Rhys looked from the man that stood just a touch too close, then to the girl in his arms, who immediately stuck a thumbs up in his face. “Me, daddy, and Rice!”

Rhys gave an ever so obviously forced smile. “Yay…” He added quietly as Jack’s hand left his shoulder and finally tuned to actually leave the small green park. He spoke openly to his daughter, asking what they should do with the rest of the day. Rhys, who was still trying to process the direction his life had just taken, watched dumbly as they walked away.

It was just before the pair would have left the area that Handsome Jack paused, looking around as if he’d lost something, until his eyes fell on blank faced Rhys. “Oh, I’m sorry, what part of 'you start asap’ wasn’t clear enough for you, kitten?” He called back in a mock apologetic tone.

Rhys’ brows rose in unison before his mouth made a perfect 'o’ shape. He then jolted forward, his face flustered as he quickly caught up. “Sorry, sorry…” He giggled unintentionally as he fell half a step behind Jack’s even stride- as he assumed a PA would.

“Off to a poor start there, Rhysie.” Jack said, and although his tone invoked caution, he’d also ended it with a wink. Rhys just assumed being in such close proximity to Angel must put the otherwise terrifying man in a more tolerant mood.

“Sorry… Sir. Do you think I should invest in a clipboard, or notebook so I can remind myself of the dos and don'ts of the job?”

“Nah, I’m sure my old PA’s should be somewhere, feel free to use that. After all-” Here he put a hand over one of Angel’s ears, holding her head against him before continuing, “I really don’t think they’ll have much of a use for it anymore.”

Despite the seriousness of the implication, Rhys found his lips quirking into a smile. “Neat.”

A/N: Well, that’s the end of that! Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

anonymous asked:

This is a silly question but, why do you like salarians so much? any reason in particular?

Lmao. I feel like I’m guilty of something. Welp, here’s what I was able to come up with, friend: 

  • I think the fact that there’s an entire race of beings that sound vaguely like Steve Buscemi is pretty entertaining.
  • “Please don’t touch that.”
  • I personally find their lack of a typical sex drive to be both very interesting and quite refreshing.
  • My favorite ME3MP character is the Salarian Infiltrator, so that helps.
  • “Again, I would ask you to refrain from touching that.” 
  • That one salarian during Thane’s loyalty mission that says the only thing he knows about humans is that he likes their food is the best thing.
  • Mordin, Padok, Kirrahe, and Jondum are all just great characters.
  • The fact that they have sadly short lifespans is also interesting to me as well as the fact that they only need maybe like an hour or two of sleep a day.
  • “Once more, the Salarian Union formally requests that you not touch that.”
  • Their homeworld, Sur’Kesh, is my personal favorite of the alien homeworlds because it’s so green and beautiful, and I love the organic nature of their architecture.
  • I really appreciated the how they flavored the world in such varied ways. BioWare made them surprisingly diverse. They had different skin tones, different markings, different personalities. Some of them were bitter and callous (Administrator Anoleis from Port Hanshan on Noveria), some were cheerful as if they’d woke up on the best possible side of the bed (Marab the store clerk from Saronis Applications in the Zakera Ward on the Citadel), and some were just super chill (that smoking salarian in the fish freezer on the Citadel). Some are powerful members of the galactic society (Dalatrass Linron, Citadel Councilors Valern/Esheel) while some are just average workers trying to get by (the construction workers at the Dantius Towers in Nos Astra on Illium). Some are good (Kirrahe, Solik Vass who just wanted to put together some footage of nice things happening to help raise people’s morale during the war with the reapers), some are bad (Dr. Saleon the scientist who illicitly sold organs, Jaroth the Eclipse merc from Omega), and some are far more complex than that (Maelon, Mordin). So, with all those characteristics, they make up a real, living, breathing society. They feel real, so ultimately, I really loved them for that.
  • “Fine. If you are so enamored of that object, then I suggest you get your own feces analyzer.”

Basically, I just love them for so many reasons.


NEWSHOUR: Farmers markets are everywhere. But do laborers see benefits?

Local and organic food movements have boomed in the past decade because consumers are increasingly more concerned about the quality of their produce. Though this awareness can benefit the environment and public health, it has eclipsed the working conditions of the people picking the fruits and vegetables in the fields.

Organic sales from farms increased by 82 percent since 2007 to $3.1 billion in 2012, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s most recent statistics. And the number of farmers markets have more than quadrupled to more than 8,600 since the mid ‘90s.

But farm workers and their families who stay with them have sparse protections against cruel conditions. On top of living off meager wages, they work at the bottom of one of the most hazardous industries in the country. In 2011, 570 of them died, which is seven times the rate of the national average among workers in private industries. And on average, about 113 of them are under 20 years old. If they are female, it is more likely they will be sexually harassed or assaulted.

Read more