avengers pun

  • Clint: Hey (Name) can I borrow your phone? I left mine at the-
  • (Name): That depends, are you planning on making a long-distance CAW?!
  • Clint: Damn it (Name)!!
  • -
  • *(Name) sees Clint half naked*
  • Clint: Oh shit! *puts a towel on*
  • (Name): Well this is HAWKWARD
  • Clint: Really?
  • -
  • (Name): Hey Clint!
  • Clint: Back off (Name)!
  • (Name): You're looking pretty good Clint,
  • Clint: Stop it right there (Name), I swear to god
  • (Name): Do you-
  • Clint: No!
  • (Name): EGGCERSIZE!
  • Clint: I hate you.
The Avengers Preference - His Reaction to You Getting Hurt

Bruce Banner:

Originally posted by phanitori

Bruce would be unnaturally calm. Everyone was fully aware that the only reason Bruce had agreed to stay with the Avengers in the first place was because of you – he loved and adored you more than words can describe – and so you getting hurt would crush him. But when you did get hurt during a mission, the team was surprised when they didn’t get any incoming calls saying that ‘the big guy’ had been unleashed at the Avengers facility. Instead, when they arrived back, he wouldn’t come rushing to the quinjet to see you but instead he’d be in the operating room. He’d have set up everything himself for you when you arrived and have gotten all the best and most trusted doctors and surgeons to be there to examine and operate on you. He knew what would be best for you and that was for him to step back and let a team of professionals work on you – no matter how much he wanted to cry and get angry at the team, he couldn’t. He had to stay calm for you – he had to be there when you woke up, smiling comfortingly and ready to look after you.  

Bucky Barnes:

Originally posted by unlucky--bucky

Bucky would panic. He’s never had a girl that he’s cared so deeply for so when he’d hear that you were hurt, he wouldn’t know what to do except begin saying “oh my god” over and over again. Eventually, it’d take the entire team to get him to calm down and reassure him that they’ve gotten medics to you – but as soon as he sees you he’d sprint to your side and start rambling and trying to ask you what he can do for you to help you. You’d have to be the calm one in these situations and tell him to just be there for your injuries are taken care of and he’d do just that – being at your side day and night, carrying you from place to place, running baths for you and doing all your errands. He’d treat you like the most fragile object but it’d be because he cares about you.

Clint Barton:

Originally posted by stormxpadme

Clint would be very assertive and agent-like about the situation. He’s been an agent of a long time so he knows the risks of dating someone who has the same career as him – that’s why he’d act more like an agent than a boyfriend when you get hurt. But it wouldn’t take an expert to see the fear in his eyes and the casual crack in his voice; he’d want to cry or even go out of his way to avenge you but he knew what his job was. But as soon as the two of you were left alone and there were no more doctors or other agents coming in to check on you, Clint would lose it and tear up while telling you over and over again how much he loves you and doesn’t want you to ever scare him like that again. 

Pietro Maximoff:

Originally posted by knightofthefandom

You getting hurt would stress out Pietro. He’d be constantly running a hand through his hair and he’d pace ever so slowly around the room, waiting until there was news about your condition. He’d blame himself for not being there to look out for you and then he’d begin blaming other team members for not protecting you better. Wanda would do her best to calm her brother down but she knew he wouldn’t be fully okay until he saw that you were safe himself. When he did finally see you, he’d smile and tell you that he knew all along that you were going to be fine and that he wasn’t at all stress – but you knew he was lying.  

Sam Wilson:

Originally posted by hogwartsnexttopmodel

Sam would act as if he was totally cool about the situation but his voice squeaked for an update on your condition. Everyone knew though that under his tough exterior, Sam was terrified – you were the first girl he ever got nervous around and he did just about anything you asked him to. He cared about you more than he showed and when Tony thought it’d be funny to test this theory, he told Sam he was worried that your condition may worsen and Sam broke the glass he was holding. When he finally did see you, Sam would crumble at your bed side and tell you how happy he was he you were doing okay and that he so scared that the worst had happened to you. He made you promise not to tell anyone about what his reaction to finally seeing you was though.

Steve Rogers:

Originally posted by thatplaidnerd

Steve wasn’t exactly calm when the news was broken to him that you’d been hurt during a mission. He’d go rushing through the Avengers facility, breaking down doors along his way, until he finally reached the landing space where you’d be arriving. He’d get a full mission report from the agents that arrived with you, wanting to know what had gone wrong and who there was to blame for this because there had to be someone to blame for this. He’d try not to get annoyed with you when, even in your state, you jokingly tease him and tell him to calm down because you’re fine. Steve would insist on staying by your bed side and doing whatever he could to make you as comfortable as possible – he’d even use his Captain tone of voice on you from time to time so you got that he was being very serious about the situation.

T’Challa:

Originally posted by yoncehaunted

T’Challa may overreact and have one too many surgeons and doctors on standby when you arrive back at the Avengers facility. He’d pace outside your door, not wanting to disturb the doctors as they examine you, mumbling to himself and ignoring anyone that wasn’t one of the doctors who tried to calm him down. He’s handled a lot in his life time but nothing has frightened him as much as finding out that you’ve been hurt – he’d even begun to come up with all the people he’ll ring in any case that it could turn out to be that could look after you. When T’Challa is told that he can see you and that you’ll be alright and just need a bit of bed rest, he’d begin to tell you a list of reasons as to why you should never go out on a mission again and that he can safely support you in whatever you do for the rest of your life.

Thor:

Originally posted by thorvalkyrie

The team would approach Thor carefully when it’s discovered that you’re hurt – they wouldn’t be too sure as to how he would react but like they originally thought, he does flip out. Thor would break many things on his way to get to you, demanding to know who hurt you and becoming determined to (no pun intended) avenge you. He also welcomes you to join him, if you like, to destroy whoever it was that hurt you but you’d assure him that there was no need to do that. He’d say ‘okay, fine’ and then he’d start telling you that you should come live in Asgard where you won’t ever be hurt again. He’d then tell you after this that he’ll still try to avenge you.

Tony Stark:

Originally posted by duckbuttt

Tony isn’t the best at expressing his emotions but it’s clearly written on his face how worried he is. It’s not a secret that he loves you more than anything in the world so he decides he’ll do everything for you to help you get better – he’ll even create your own Iron Man suit that’ll get you to and from the bathroom. Rhodey buys him a pink apron after you get better because Tony legitimately becomes your personal assistant; always making you coffee and tea himself, trying to make cakes for you (and then buying one after he fails but pretends he made it) and changing your bandages for you. He’s completely smitten with you and you having a near-depth experience has just made him adore you more.

4

Whereas many families enjoyed trips to the park, as a weekly thing, you had taken your baby girl to the Movie Premier, after you and Chris both not wanting to leave her. 

Photographers: Chris! Y/N! Over here!

Chris: Look baby! They’re taking your photo. You gonna smile?

Daughter: *Hiding in Daddy’s Blazer*

Y/N: Baby look! Say cheese! 

Daughter: Looks at camera for a moment, then back to Chris

Chris: Where’s the smiley face? *He begins to pull the cutest faces ever, until eventually…*

Daughter: *Giggles*

Chris: Atta girl! Come on, we’re gonna talk to the lady over there, who’s almost as pretty as Mummy!

Daughter: Mummy! *Stretches out arms to you*


Of course, there was interviews, and holding a little one whilst both you and your husband were being talked to, was never an advantage. But, all clouds have a silver lining. Or in this case, something a little more flashy. Diamonds, maybe?

Interviewer: So, both of you are new parents, and how are we finding the young lady?

Chris: Well, she can be very demanding for attention, much like her daddy. But, she’s a mummy’s girl. I mean, look at her now!

Interviewer: Yes, she seems to be quite happy with you, Y/N.

Y/N: She’s pretending. A good actor like her father. 

Interviewer: And you both? Had a break from the little lady here-

RDJ: I found you! *Looks at daughter* Hey little one! You gonna come with uncle Robert for a bit?

Daughter: *Giggles*

Y/N: You wanna go with Robert for a bit? Do you promise to be good.

Daughter: *Nods*

Chris: Come here baby, *Kisses forehead,* Now, don’t let Robert do anything bad, okay?

RDJ: As if! Come on baby, let’s go scare everyone

Interviewer: Well, it look’s like you guys have a potential babysitter already!

Chris: *Pulling you closer* No, He’s being a little shit. Downey loves her really, of course, but he think’s he’s the superior parent. He’s got a long way to go before he beats Captain Ameri-Father.

Ace-vengers

Fandom: Avengers, MCU

Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanof, Bruce Banner, Sam Wilson

Notes: Requested by anon.

To be fair, the news conference was supposed to be about the Sokovia Accords. News outlets really liked to derail them. When the reporter asked about who he was currently dating, Steve didn’t expect to snap “I’m demisexual”. The crowd fell silent, and Steve grit his teeth. Snapping wasn’t going to help the cause.

“If anyone has a problem with my teammate being demisexual, I would like to remind you all that I am panromantic and quoisexual,” Tony smiled at the reporters. “And that I control your press passes.” Tony leaned back and nodded to Steve as a show of solidarity.

“As an asexual and aromantic myself,  I also support Captain Rogers,” Natasha said, sending the reporters into a writing frenzy.

Bruce ducked his head, not wanting to draw attention to himself, but eventually said, “As someone else on the asexual spectrum, specifically lithsexual, I would like to offer my support and congratulations to Steve.” He pulled away from his microphone as if he couldn’t believe what he just said. Finally, Sam stepped forward.

“Abrosexual. I guess if anyone has a problem, they can call the Ace-vengers.” Steve wasn’t sure of the press or the team groaned louder.   

Imagine your OTP as music majors
  • Person A: *gives B a folded snippet*
  • Person B: *reads* You're Cmajor key to my heart.
  • Person A: ...
  • Person B: ....
  • Person A: ...
  • Person B: YOU'RE SUCH A NERD OMG