avengers pun

if you don’t think tony stark’s security systems aren’t programmed to announce that “winter is coming” every time bucky enters the building you’re dead wrong

Food Puns

Pairing: Peter Parker X Reader

Requested: No

A/N: Hi, it’s been a while! Thank you so much for sticking around with me, once again, I am sorry for the long wait! This is an idea I’ve had since I saw the movie and I am so glad that I was finally able to create something with it! I hope you enjoy!

*****

“Hey Peter, what’s that?” Ned asks, peering curiously over Peter’s shoulder to get a better look inside the locker.

“I’m not sure…” Peter’s face scrunches up in a frown as his hands come in contact with the warm object. “It’s a mug-”

“Pfft, way to state the obvious,” Michelle says dryly, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. Both Ned and Peter jump in shock, Peter almost spilling the contents inside the cup.

“Seriously, you have got stop doing that,” Ned mutters. Michelle didn’t answer. Peter presumed that she either didn’t take notice, or she just didn’t care.

Peter just shrugs and ignores the curious stares of students that were passing by, taking a closer look at the cup in his hands. It appeared to be filled with a type of coffee and the light layer of cream atop was something etched delicately in swirling typography.

I love you a latte

“Those are some mad latte art skills.” Ned admires the work of art in Peter’s hands. Both Peter and Michelle eye him strangely, eyebrows cocking up in surprise. 

“What?” Ned asks, blushing slightly. “I’ve seen a lot of videos on Instagram! They’re satisfying, okay?”

“I just never imagined that you-”

“Who’s it from?” Ned cuts him off, seeming keen to change the subject. He points at a small note, dangling from the mug’s curling handle.

Peter had an obvious hunch, but read the note attached to the handle nevertheless.

You’re on, Parker! xoxo 

Peter tilts his head back and lets out an amused chuckle. Michelle and Ned gap at him as if he were a madman. They were partially correct; he was mad. Mad in love.

*****

“Larb?” you repeat with a snicker, dramatically setting down your chopsticks. “Was that a food pun?”

“Yeah, May and I do that sometimes,” Peter admits with a small blush, grinning.

The two of you were on a nice dinner date at Peter and May’s favourite Thai food restaurant, and he had accidentally slipped that he ‘larbed’ the food.

“Well, did you larb it?” he asks with hopeful eyes, referring to your empty plate that you had scraped and licked clean.

You smile at his adorableness and pick up your chopsticks, reaching across the table to steal a bit of unfinished food from his plate.

“Yes, it was amazing. You know what else I larb?” you sport a cheeky grin, and Peter returns the look, feigning innocence.

“I don’t know. What?”

“Food puns,” you answer matter of factly, giggling when you see Peter’s smile fall from his face. “And you too of course, silly.”

You both laugh, enjoying merely being together. Peter could make you feel like the happiest person in the world, and you wished more than anything that he always felt that way too. And to your great relief, he did. 

You admire the small details of his face when a brilliant idea pops into your head.

“Oh, this will be fun.” you murmur under your breath. Peter shoots you a quizzical look. You sport your signature cheeky grin, straightening up in your seat and crossing your legs under the table.

“I challenge you to a food pun war.” you declare excitedly. Peter’s eyes widen in surprise, and he chokes on his drink, but soon his soft eyes reflect his amusement.

“A food pun war?”

“Yep! You nervous, Spider-Boy?”

“Ha! You wish! How will we declare the winner?”

You hadn’t thought of that. Peter clears his throat when he notices that you didn’t have an answer to his question.

“How about until the opponent can’t take it anymore? One of us is bound to give up after a while.”

“Sounds good to me! Just know that I won’t be going easy, Parker.”

“Likewise, (L/N). Oh and one more question; what will the winner get?”

“We’ll sort that out once I’ve beaten you.”

*****

“Peter! Ned! I haven’t seen you two all day! Did you like my little gift?” you exclaim playfully, false sweetness dripping from your words.

You seat yourself at the table, facing your boyfriend with a smirk on your face. 

“I larbed it,” he acknowledges, returning the smirk.

“I’d really like to see you s’more throughout the day, we make such a perfect pear!” 

You hear a clang, and you avert your eyes to Ned, he had just dropped a spoon (in complete and utter shock) on the floor. He bends down to pick it up, hitting his head on the way back up.

“Ned, are you all right? I’m sure you’ll feel butter soon.” you chimed, holding in the laughter that was building up painfully in your chest.

“(Y/N)? Why are you?… Oh, no please don’t tell me that you two are actually doing this.” he croaks, shaking his head playfully. His lips were curving slightly upward.

“Donut worry Ned, it will be over once I’ve won.” Peter proclaimed, patting Ned on the back and shooting you a satisfied smirk. You huff dramatically, and Ned sighs at his two weird friends.

“And what makes you sherbet that?” you reply, squinting your eyes at him.

He smirks, “Because I’m on a cinnamon roll!”

You are a cinnamon roll, you think, smiling stupidly. What had you done to deserve someone as amazing as him?

“This is so cringey,” Ned groans, resting his face in his hands. 

“But even though I want to beet you, I must admit that you look radishing as always (Y/N),” Peter commented, winking at your gaping face.

You rack your brain for a quick comeback. No matter how cute he was, you were not going to let him beat (or ‘beet’ as he had called it) you. 

“Aww, you’re soups cute! Why don’t you come here and gummy a kiss?” 

You grin in triumph as Peter stutters this time and you seize the opportunity to attack again.

“No answer, Peter? Don’t go bacon my heart!”

“I couldn’t if I fried,” he says so smoothly that you could’ve sworn that he had thought of it in advance, merely waiting for the perfect time to execute his line.

“I don’t know if I should laugh or gag,” Michelle mutters, startling all three of you. Ned almost drops his spoon again.

“Honestly, how do you keep doing that?” Ned exclaims, looking utterly confused.

“That’s nacho business.”

“YOU TOO?!”

*****

“Hey, (Y/N)?” a classmate whispers, desperately trying to get your attention. “What day is it today?”

“Oh god no-“ Ned starts, but you cut him off.

“IT’S FRY-DAY!” 

Your classmate recoils into their seat in surprise, blinking strangely at your over-enthusiastic outburst and replied with an awkward, “Er, thanks?…”

Peter is in hysterics at the other end of the classroom.

*****

“I’m bananas about you~” you sing, skipping down the steps of the school, Peter and Ned trailing behind you. Peter chuckles and Ned groans, these lovey-dovey food puns were starting to get on his nerves. Sure it was cute, but he hoped that one of you would lose soon…

“And I love you from my head to my tomatoes.” Peter sings back, catching up with you in a few long strides.

“Well, I have so mushroom in my heart for you.” you counter, faltering for a few seconds. Noticing this, Peter smirks in triumph. You realize with a pang that you had run out of puns…

“And you’ve got a pizza my heart. You’ve held it in your beautiful hands since the moment I laid eyes on you,” Peter murmured earnestly, taking your hands in his. The gears in your head are spinning in desperation, in search of something witty to say, but to no avail. You could feel yourself shutting down as Peter drew nearer, his warm and familiar breath fanning your face. You wanted nothing more at that moment than to lean in and connect your lips to his, closing the small space between you. “(Y/N), I larb you.”

“I love you too.”

“AHA! I win!” Peter cheers, placing a quick kiss on your lips before picking you up with his strong arms and twirling you around on the spot. You were laughing so hard at his giddiness that you didn’t even care that you had lost the battle.

He sets you down gently, and you giggle as your feet touch the ground.

“Aww, no fair! You wooed me with those damned beautiful eyes!”

“Dill with it.” he says cheekily, jumping up and down like a small child in their birthday. “So, what have I won?”

“How does a dinner date sound? It’s on me.”

“You’re amazing.”

“I know.”

“Are we done yet?” Ned interrupts, looking relieved. 

“Yes, thanks for pudding up with our behaviour all day.” you say, smiling sweetly. Ned looked horror-struck.

“I know it sounds cheesy, but we think you’re really grate.” Peter adds earnestly. 

Ned laughs, shaking his head.

“You two drive me nuts.”

“HAHA, WE GOT HIM TO CRACK!”

“Okay, that’s enough.”

The Drink Allergy - Steve Rogers x Reader

Originally posted by rogers-room

Warning: None. Fluff, romance and fruit puns with Captain Dorito.

Word Count: 1500 (give of take a few)

A/n: Here’s a little bit of Steve that I dusted off from my archives… x


The party was a little uncalled for but Steve enjoyed the company. All his fellow Avengers were having a lively time and relaxing. There was no gun fire and no danger save from the few dangerous conversations with people who idolised Captain America.

Steve was talking to Sam when a shoulder bumped into his own. A shoulder that was accompanied with fiery red hair.

“Hey,” Natasha said softly as she cut across Steve’s words.

“Nat.” Steve smiled and the woman leaned in slightly so that only he and Sam could hear her.

“Listen, I forgot that (Y/n)’s got a sensitive stomach to tequila and I think her drink got mixed up.” She said apologetically.

“What?” Steve frowned, his pleasant expression turning into one of worry.

“Where is she?” Sam asked, hoping to help out. Natasha turned to him and shook her head.

“I don’t know. I lost her in the crowd when Tony brought out the salsa dancers.” She confessed. “I’ve been on the lookout but I can’t do it alone.”

Sam gestured behind his friend with his head. “Why not get the Hawk-guy?”

Natasha sighed and sipped the drink in her hand as she rolled her eyes. “He’s too invested in his air guitar – oh crap,” she had turned to look over her shoulder just in time to Clint sculling his drink, “He’s going to pass out before the night is over. Excuse me, boys.”

She headed off in the direction of Clint which left Sam and Steve to take on this new mission.

Keep reading

  • Clint: Hey (Name) can I borrow your phone? I left mine at the-
  • (Name): That depends, are you planning on making a long-distance CAW?!
  • Clint: Damn it (Name)!!
  • -
  • *(Name) sees Clint half naked*
  • Clint: Oh shit! *puts a towel on*
  • (Name): Well this is HAWKWARD
  • Clint: Really?
  • -
  • (Name): Hey Clint!
  • Clint: Back off (Name)!
  • (Name): You're looking pretty good Clint,
  • Clint: Stop it right there (Name), I swear to god
  • (Name): Do you-
  • Clint: No!
  • (Name): EGGCERSIZE!
  • Clint: I hate you.
If you could have one inconsequential line or scene in Avengers: Infinity War, what would it be?

I have a few I want…. (if you add, make sure you tag it!)

1. At some point, any point, I need someone to say, “No sh!t, Sherlock.”  And then I need Tony Stark and Stephen Strange to look at each other, I don’t care if it’s discomfort or a tiny smile or like they have a secret, I JUST NEED THIS MOMENT, OKAY?!

2. I need Sam Wilson to go flying past Steve Rogers with his wings, and in this triumphant voice, scream out, “ON YOUR LEFT!”  And Steve just shakes his head and grins, because yeah, he had that coming.

3. Peter Parker calling Tony dad, either by accident or on purpose.  And then I need Tony to smile about it.

The Avengers Preference - His Reaction to You Getting Hurt

Bruce Banner:

Originally posted by phanitori

Bruce would be unnaturally calm. Everyone was fully aware that the only reason Bruce had agreed to stay with the Avengers in the first place was because of you – he loved and adored you more than words can describe – and so you getting hurt would crush him. But when you did get hurt during a mission, the team was surprised when they didn’t get any incoming calls saying that ‘the big guy’ had been unleashed at the Avengers facility. Instead, when they arrived back, he wouldn’t come rushing to the quinjet to see you but instead he’d be in the operating room. He’d have set up everything himself for you when you arrived and have gotten all the best and most trusted doctors and surgeons to be there to examine and operate on you. He knew what would be best for you and that was for him to step back and let a team of professionals work on you – no matter how much he wanted to cry and get angry at the team, he couldn’t. He had to stay calm for you – he had to be there when you woke up, smiling comfortingly and ready to look after you.  

Bucky Barnes:

Originally posted by unlucky--bucky

Bucky would panic. He’s never had a girl that he’s cared so deeply for so when he’d hear that you were hurt, he wouldn’t know what to do except begin saying “oh my god” over and over again. Eventually, it’d take the entire team to get him to calm down and reassure him that they’ve gotten medics to you – but as soon as he sees you he’d sprint to your side and start rambling and trying to ask you what he can do for you to help you. You’d have to be the calm one in these situations and tell him to just be there for your injuries are taken care of and he’d do just that – being at your side day and night, carrying you from place to place, running baths for you and doing all your errands. He’d treat you like the most fragile object but it’d be because he cares about you.

Clint Barton:

Originally posted by stormxpadme

Clint would be very assertive and agent-like about the situation. He’s been an agent of a long time so he knows the risks of dating someone who has the same career as him – that’s why he’d act more like an agent than a boyfriend when you get hurt. But it wouldn’t take an expert to see the fear in his eyes and the casual crack in his voice; he’d want to cry or even go out of his way to avenge you but he knew what his job was. But as soon as the two of you were left alone and there were no more doctors or other agents coming in to check on you, Clint would lose it and tear up while telling you over and over again how much he loves you and doesn’t want you to ever scare him like that again. 

Pietro Maximoff:

Originally posted by knightofthefandom

You getting hurt would stress out Pietro. He’d be constantly running a hand through his hair and he’d pace ever so slowly around the room, waiting until there was news about your condition. He’d blame himself for not being there to look out for you and then he’d begin blaming other team members for not protecting you better. Wanda would do her best to calm her brother down but she knew he wouldn’t be fully okay until he saw that you were safe himself. When he did finally see you, he’d smile and tell you that he knew all along that you were going to be fine and that he wasn’t at all stress – but you knew he was lying.  

Sam Wilson:

Originally posted by hogwartsnexttopmodel

Sam would act as if he was totally cool about the situation but his voice squeaked for an update on your condition. Everyone knew though that under his tough exterior, Sam was terrified – you were the first girl he ever got nervous around and he did just about anything you asked him to. He cared about you more than he showed and when Tony thought it’d be funny to test this theory, he told Sam he was worried that your condition may worsen and Sam broke the glass he was holding. When he finally did see you, Sam would crumble at your bed side and tell you how happy he was he you were doing okay and that he so scared that the worst had happened to you. He made you promise not to tell anyone about what his reaction to finally seeing you was though.

Steve Rogers:

Originally posted by thatplaidnerd

Steve wasn’t exactly calm when the news was broken to him that you’d been hurt during a mission. He’d go rushing through the Avengers facility, breaking down doors along his way, until he finally reached the landing space where you’d be arriving. He’d get a full mission report from the agents that arrived with you, wanting to know what had gone wrong and who there was to blame for this because there had to be someone to blame for this. He’d try not to get annoyed with you when, even in your state, you jokingly tease him and tell him to calm down because you’re fine. Steve would insist on staying by your bed side and doing whatever he could to make you as comfortable as possible – he’d even use his Captain tone of voice on you from time to time so you got that he was being very serious about the situation.

T’Challa:

Originally posted by yoncehaunted

T’Challa may overreact and have one too many surgeons and doctors on standby when you arrive back at the Avengers facility. He’d pace outside your door, not wanting to disturb the doctors as they examine you, mumbling to himself and ignoring anyone that wasn’t one of the doctors who tried to calm him down. He’s handled a lot in his life time but nothing has frightened him as much as finding out that you’ve been hurt – he’d even begun to come up with all the people he’ll ring in any case that it could turn out to be that could look after you. When T’Challa is told that he can see you and that you’ll be alright and just need a bit of bed rest, he’d begin to tell you a list of reasons as to why you should never go out on a mission again and that he can safely support you in whatever you do for the rest of your life.

Thor:

Originally posted by thorvalkyrie

The team would approach Thor carefully when it’s discovered that you’re hurt – they wouldn’t be too sure as to how he would react but like they originally thought, he does flip out. Thor would break many things on his way to get to you, demanding to know who hurt you and becoming determined to (no pun intended) avenge you. He also welcomes you to join him, if you like, to destroy whoever it was that hurt you but you’d assure him that there was no need to do that. He’d say ‘okay, fine’ and then he’d start telling you that you should come live in Asgard where you won’t ever be hurt again. He’d then tell you after this that he’ll still try to avenge you.

Tony Stark:

Originally posted by duckbuttt

Tony isn’t the best at expressing his emotions but it’s clearly written on his face how worried he is. It’s not a secret that he loves you more than anything in the world so he decides he’ll do everything for you to help you get better – he’ll even create your own Iron Man suit that’ll get you to and from the bathroom. Rhodey buys him a pink apron after you get better because Tony legitimately becomes your personal assistant; always making you coffee and tea himself, trying to make cakes for you (and then buying one after he fails but pretends he made it) and changing your bandages for you. He’s completely smitten with you and you having a near-depth experience has just made him adore you more.

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Whereas many families enjoyed trips to the park, as a weekly thing, you had taken your baby girl to the Movie Premier, after you and Chris both not wanting to leave her. 

Photographers: Chris! Y/N! Over here!

Chris: Look baby! They’re taking your photo. You gonna smile?

Daughter: *Hiding in Daddy’s Blazer*

Y/N: Baby look! Say cheese! 

Daughter: Looks at camera for a moment, then back to Chris

Chris: Where’s the smiley face? *He begins to pull the cutest faces ever, until eventually…*

Daughter: *Giggles*

Chris: Atta girl! Come on, we’re gonna talk to the lady over there, who’s almost as pretty as Mummy!

Daughter: Mummy! *Stretches out arms to you*


Of course, there was interviews, and holding a little one whilst both you and your husband were being talked to, was never an advantage. But, all clouds have a silver lining. Or in this case, something a little more flashy. Diamonds, maybe?

Interviewer: So, both of you are new parents, and how are we finding the young lady?

Chris: Well, she can be very demanding for attention, much like her daddy. But, she’s a mummy’s girl. I mean, look at her now!

Interviewer: Yes, she seems to be quite happy with you, Y/N.

Y/N: She’s pretending. A good actor like her father. 

Interviewer: And you both? Had a break from the little lady here-

RDJ: I found you! *Looks at daughter* Hey little one! You gonna come with uncle Robert for a bit?

Daughter: *Giggles*

Y/N: You wanna go with Robert for a bit? Do you promise to be good.

Daughter: *Nods*

Chris: Come here baby, *Kisses forehead,* Now, don’t let Robert do anything bad, okay?

RDJ: As if! Come on baby, let’s go scare everyone

Interviewer: Well, it look’s like you guys have a potential babysitter already!

Chris: *Pulling you closer* No, He’s being a little shit. Downey loves her really, of course, but he think’s he’s the superior parent. He’s got a long way to go before he beats Captain Ameri-Father.