Mass Effect characters sorted into Hogwarts Houses
Since I’m re-reading Harry Potter (and also am really bored) I tried my hand at sorting some of the companion characters from Mass Effect into their Hogwarts houses! I did skip Samara & Javik since they both have a rigid set of codes that influence their personality (the code & avatar of vengeance).
I’d love to hear your thoughts on my picks! I chose houses based on what each character values the most, not necessarily their personality.
Shepard - I mean…yeah.
Garrus - Garrus is a great example of a Gryffindor pushed to their extreme. Gryffindors generally align with the law but when they see innocents suffering, they’ll work outside the law to do what they feel needs to be done.
Grunt - Grunt is a very stereotypical Gryffindor - itching for action, headstrong and brave.
Jacob - Jacob is definitely a Gryffindor because of his ideals and values - he wants to fight, but he fights to protect others.
Vega - Another obvious one! I don’t think I even need to explain, Vega is so obviously Gryffindor it hurts.
EDI - Gryffindor…but a Ravenclaw first. I think EDI in ME2 definitely leans Ravenclaw, but after her shackles are released and she begins to come into her own she’s a true Gryffindor - fighting to protect the innocent and those she loves.
Ashley - Ashley leans heavily into Gryffindor, but at the end of the day I think she’s a Slytherin because her ultimate goal is to advance her career and to prove herself. She’s also quite shrewd and unapologetic in her viewpoints, especially when it comes to potential enemies.
Jack - Jack is a very obvious Slytherin - self-sufficient and cunning, but ruthlessly loyal to those who have earned her trust.
Miranda - Miranda is also an obvious pick for Slytherin. She appears cunning and cold on the surface, but it’s her fierce love and protection of Oriana that makes her a Slytherin to the core.
Zaeed - I feel like most mercenary characters bend Slytherin because of the nature of their chosen profession, and Zaeed definitely fits the bill as a lone wolf Slytherin.
Joker - Joker was a tricky one for me, I really went back-and-forth between Gryffindor, Slytherin and Ravenclaw. But in the end, I think Joker is a Ravenclaw because of his love and obsession with flying.
Liara - I know Liara leans Slytherin in ME2 and ME3 (and she’s definitely ambitious) but her motivations are generally acquiring knowledge to learn and to study, so for that reason she’s a Ravenclaw.
Tali - Tali is an obvious one for me, her obsession with tinkering and machinery is very Ravenclaw.
Kasumi - Thieves are usually Slytherin, but Kasumi’s motivations aren’t to be rich or independent, but for the thrill of planning pulling off a heist.
Mordin - Mordin is another obvious one! What else would the scientist salarian be?
Samantha - Oh yes, Sam is another textbook Ravenclaw!
Chakwas - Healer characters do lean Hufflepuff, and Chakwas’ dedication and concern for the crew puts her in Hufflepuff.
Kaidan - Kaidan was one of the hardest characters for me to place, but I feel comfortable labeling him a Hufflepuff (albeit one that is introverted). Kaidan’s Hufflepuff-ness is most clear in ME3 with his team, but this can also be seen in his conversations with Shepard and the crew. Plus, Kaidan is a hard worker who pushes himself for the sake of the group.
Legion - Robot characters are tricky, but since Legion’s goal from day 1 has been unifying the Geth and securing their future, I feel like he belongs in Hufflepuff.
Wrex - Ok, I know what you’re thinking but hear me out! Look at the main traits of Hufflepuff: “hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, and fair play rather than a particular aptitude in its members.” Wrex’s work with uniting the Krogan is all of those. Wrex is a fucking Hufflepuff, deal with it.
Kelly - Possibly the most obvious Hufflepuff ever! Kelly is a textbook ‘puff.
Thane - Thane is tricky because so much of his motivations are clouded by his profession and what he’s been shaped into. But when you strip him down to his core, Thane wants nothing more than to be at peace with those around him.