Caption: “Realizes that ‘pat yourself on the back’ is just an expression/Doesn’t care, continues to pat shoulder as a reward for good behavior”

I don’t get touched very often because it can be stressful and even physically painful at times. I find that associating physical touch with good things is very helpful, even if it’s just me patting my own limbs.

– Rahel

It really is. I’m willing to bet that all autistics/aspies have something that they would rather have an understanding of than being able to understand people. Maybe it’s medicine or post-modern artists or classic movies or anime series or the taxonomy of every lifeform or something else entirely.

ALSO, considering making my own aspie quiz. It will be about 100 questions, but it will be self-scoring. No auto-scorers. I’ll work on that.

So since it’s awful person story time hour I’d like to share a guy with you who wins all those awards.

A couple years ago I was taking the bus home from a job interview. As I was about to sit down the bus lurched forward, I lost my balance and fell into the seat. As I was settling in a guy suddenly appears behind me, and he surprised me. He starts talking loudly on the phone to someone else, which was annoying in itself but I didn’t say anything. Then he started to punch my seat, really hard. I tried to ignore it for a while but then it got unbearable so I tapped him and said, “Excuse me, could you stop hitting my seat?”. He looked at me and said, “No, I won’t. These aren’t your seats and if you don’t like it you can move somewhere else.”. The bus was packed at this point and there wasn’t anywhere for me to move. He continued to punch my seat and glare at me, so I asked, “Why are you being so rude? I asked you nicely to not hit my seat and you just continue to do it. There’s no reason for you to be this rude.” He said, “You were rude to me when you woke me up by sitting hard on your seat.” I was floored by this, up until then I had no idea he even existed! The seats he was sleeping across are vertical, so they’re obscured by the seats I was occupying, so I didn’t even see him or know he was even there until he popped up behind me. When I explained this he said, “HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE ME!?”. As if somehow I disrespected him by being completely unaware he was even there in the first place. Nevermind it was after 4 PM and the bus was crowded, but whatever. When I told him it wasn’t my problem he said, “Well it’s not mine either.” and kept on punching my seat. Glaring at me.

So something snapped inside of me one day. I’m as passive as possible and try to keep to myself, but when people are deliberately rude to me I lose any empathy for them whatsoever. Since he wouldn’t stop hitting my seat, and there was literally nowhere else I could sit or reasonably stand, I decided to move his arm. (He was punching the very top part of my seat, where my shoulders and back were) When I did, he grabbed my arm and screamed, “BITCH IF YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN I’LL KNOCK YOUR ASS OUT.”. He sat back down and proceeded to do the same thing again. So I moved his arm again, and I wasn’t going to let him intimidate me. I just wasn’t going to let this jerk win. I refused. After being picked on and abused and bullied I wasn’t going to let this jackass get his way. I don’t know why, I guess because I tried being nice to him. I tried being polite and social and all that crap and he responded by figuratively spitting in my face. For no other reason than because I didn’t realise there was a guy sleeping behind me at 4:30 in the afternoon.

I moved his arm off my seat every time he went back to punching it until he started punching me in the face, which shocked everyone on the bus. A guy came up and said, “HEY! YOU CAN’T HIT A WOMAN!” and started to fight with the guy who was hitting me, busted his lip and tossed his ass off. A woman called 911, I got into it with another guy who accused me of hitting him first, (I did no such thing, I didn’t want to fight, and when it came to that he swung so fast that I could barely get him off me. Not to mention I was essentially cornered against the window) he threatened me and called me names, the bus driver kicked me off for “causing trouble”, I had to talk to the cops and on the way the guy still kept running his mouth and I got so mad I spit on him, he chased me off, the driver kicked everyone off, drove 10 feet away and made everyone reboard the bus as the next one didn’t come for another 45 minutes, the other guy who harrassed me came back with his sister, he spit on me and they spent the rest of the ride trying to stare me down and talking about how rude I was spitting on people, even though the spittee was more than twice my age and trying to start shit with someone who’s already on the edge of a meltdown, someone who just wanted to go the fuck home in peace and couldn’t even fucking do that because some jerkoff decided to exact petty revenge towards somebody who wasn’t trying to wrong them in the first place. The last stop before mine the other guy and his sister got off and both told me they would be there if I wanted to fight them. Because that is totally what I wanted to do all along, follow a pair of crazy middle aged drunk people to their hovel so they can gang up on me and shank me.

The worst part of that entire debacle was my ex friend telling me I essentially deserved what happened to me because I should have “moved” to another part of the bus, even after I told her there was nowhere else to sit or stand.