auto doc


So in the new update, Caliborn goes on about how Dirk banished his soul into Lil Cal, and how ARquiusprite showed up out of nowhere and ended up getting pulled along for the ride.  And if you notice, HALF OF GAMZEE TOO.

This explains so much.

Why the game read Scratch’s sudden death as an opportunity to revive him into Lord English. (Caliborn)
Why Lord English is so muscular. (Equius)
Why Doc Scratch is so shrouded in mystery. (Equius)
Why Doc Scratch and Lord English are so vastly intelligent, unlike Caliborn. (AR, a splinter of Dirk’s soul)
Why Lord English is so mirthful and angry. (Gamzee)
Why Lord English can destroy souls. (AR, a splinter of Dirk’s soul)

Lord English even stole his name from Jake English, who in turn got his name from his Grandma Jade English, who in turn stole it from Lord English.  Paradox.

It all makes sense now.

that did not take as long as i thought it would

but jesus christ, looking at scratch’s logs now is like reading one of hal’s logs in white. i cannot believe the original theory didn’t take off more. doc scratch is ar with less bro puns and more omniscience. the repetition and insistence on their good qualities, the over explanations of mundane things, the arrogance and self-assurance, the obvious delight in psychologically messing with people, the whole ‘i’m doing this for everyone’s sake, i’m not evil’, FUCK

it’s hard to pick out specific things, the above are all just general comparisons of their personalities and manner of speaking. did find a couple things in his conversation with rose though

almost had an arquius/equius moment

the sentence structure is referencing something rose said earlier, but that particular insult came out of absolutely nowhere and is incredibly ‘strider’

and of course

All my recent dental work has made me extra glad Fabian is a healer because I know Anne Marie would just not be able to physically stay still and tolerate people poking in her mouth and hurting her or the weird sensations/tastes involved. No need for that with Fabian. (Also I have headcanoned for awhile she needs to bring a friend to the ob/gyn to hold her legs down so she doesn’t auto-kick the doc when they scrape her, SHE’S VERY REFLEXIVE SHE LITERALLY HAS ENHANCED REFLEXES OK)

  • If anyone out there is a doctor or training to be a doctor or dentist you could be the one. You could be the one to free our descendants from having to pay exorbitant ransom for their lives like we do every time we need medical treatment. Pay attention to everything you do at your job and what references you use and actions and how they could be automated to allow people to treat themselves with an auto doc. Destroy your "profession" for the freedom of and strength and continuation of humanity. So that we may all be doctors again as we were evolved to be. Think about it, no one dying on the way to the hospital, nonone contracting diseases at hospital, no doctors being fatigued and jaded, if grandma is sick you use the auto doc's instruments to read her conditions, and intelligent animated instructions that can tell you if you are about to make a mistake. The same goes with all other specialized professions. Absolute rubbish! We can do anything with a database of knowledge and instructions. Specialization is slavery! You may be bored with life and will always be because of specialization. We need to grow our intellect, learn many more things and have to know nothing, our destiny is to become time lords.