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Fare i genitori è difficile.

L’interazione con i genitori è uno dei pilastri per la formazione della personalità dei figli e le conseguenze, positive o negative, avranno effetto per tutta la vita.

Esistono genitori che tendono a svalutare i propri figli. 
Cosa vuol dire essere genitori svalutanti? Criticare i propri figli, non riconoscere i loro meriti e il loro impegno e non considerarli abbastanza.
Spesso questo accade in modo non intenzionale: come quando si torna a casa con un buon voto, ma si dice che avrebbe potuto fare di più, oppure quando un figlio segue una passione, come la cucina, ma il genitore al primo sbaglio lo critica, ma soprattutto, una delle svalutazioni più comuni sono i paragoni, quelli con cugini, fratelli e/o figli di amici.

Questo porta a far crescere i propri figli con poca autostima; una persona le cui capacità vengono continuamente ipercriticate inizierà a pensare che questa sia la verità. Questo crea un meccanismo che porta ad auto-screditarsi e a sabotare i propri progetti perché si credono incapaci.

Ma perché lo fanno? Perché è stato fatto lo stesso con loro, e i figli lo faranno con i propri, portano avanti un meccanismo per generazioni che si fermerà nel momenti in cui una delle generazioni non farà un lavoro su sé stessi, sulla consapevolezza delle proprie capacità.

La perfezione non esiste. Non esistono genitori perfetti e non esistono figli perfetti. Se un figlio sente che il genitore non è mai soddisfatto rischierà di vivere sotto una costante pressione psicologica o alla continua ricerca di approvazione da parte dei genitori, con grandi sofferenze e insicurezze.

La vita è fatta di sbagli, ma questo non vuol dire che siamo persone sbagliate. Vuole semplicemente dire che abbiamo sbagliato.

Quiet little headcanon #14

[Fake AH Crew Origins edition ]

Like most of them, Jeremy never actually wanted to be a criminal… not really. He loved the lifestyle, the pace, the carefree ease that it all seemed to come with, the thrill of adventure. The weapons, cash and fast cars were all just added bonuses. What he wanted more than anything was the crew.

The Fake AH Crew had come from nothing, built themselves from scratch, but they had each other. They were different, everyone could see that; inseparable, fiercely loyal and most of all fun.

That’s what he wanted.

He worked hard. He got very good at what he did, and he did it all. He honed his skills with a sniper rifle and started to take on big jobs… except nobody had given him an order, he did it all for the attention. To fund his exploits, he necessarily became a thief; stealing weapons, ammunition, body armour and eventually graduating to grand theft auto, further adding to his rapidly expanding skill set, and causing him to amass an impressive collection of vehicles. Unfortunately he had nowhere to keep them and would find himself casually dumping them when he was done with a job. Leaving a trail of ridiculously expensive and ludicrously bright-coloured supercars in his wake.

By this stage the Fake AH Crew were all over the media, everyone knew them and Jeremy knew: these guys were the real deal. They became his heroes, his role models… he knew they shouldn’t be, but he couldn’t help it. There were others who felt the same, who’d approach them and ask for a job, all of them rebuffed with a smirk and a wave.

But Jeremy was determined. Unlike the other small-time crooks, he had what it took. It was just a matter of getting noticed. And that was when he met Matt.

The stunts they pulled became exponentially more ridiculous when they were together. They weren’t particularly destructive or violent; but they were more like parodies of heists.

One time, they broke into a zoo and put the lions in the tiger enclosure, the tigers in the bear enclosure and the bear in the lion enclosure and in big green letters simply sprayed “Oh My!” in the gateway to the opening.

The crew thought it was hilarious.

Several, equally hilarious heists later, the pair broke into the Weazel News building and surreptitiously embedded their own made-up news stories about themselves and the Fake AH Crew into the daily paper. It essentially served as their resume. They then stole one of the delivery trucks full of the papers before anyone noticed and delivered a single paper by hand to Geoff’s front door. Later that day, after Weazel had issued all the appropriate apologies and recalls, and Matt and Jeremy were certain the crew had seen their “credentials”, they drove the stolen truck into the driveway below Geoff’s penthouse window and waited.  

Sprayed on the top of the truck, in the same big green lettering from the zoo were the words: “You hiring?”

They didn’t have to wait long. A body landed with a sickening crunch next to the truck. Jeremy recognized the man as a small-time drug dealer, but more importantly, there was a knife in his back, holding a piece of paper to the body like a morbid bulletin board.

“You’re hired.”

Ugh, I keep leaving Pantsuit Nation on facebook and I keep getting added back in. Is there a way to stop people from auto adding you into groups I’m not seeing on mobile?