You’re not responsible for how other people interpret you. You’re only responsible for what you mean.

When people accuse you of bad things, and don’t ask, that’s their projections. They could’ve asked. They could’ve said “hey, did you mean X?”. They didn’t. They assumed, because there’s a norm regarding social interaction. They assumed, because they assume that all people are the same and mean the same things, because they assume everyone is able. They assume you should be able to read their minds.

This is incorrect. If they think something is rude, they should ask if that’s what you meant. Chances are they’re misinterpreting it, and being an ableist jerk contributing to the high levels of anxiety autistic and borderline people can get when interacting with others.

There used to be like. a lot of discourse abt this but I want to put my input in abt this right now

autistic people are not supported by the mentally ill community. autistic people have rarely been included in the same “bubble” of activism that disorders like depression, bipolar disorder, BPD/DPD/etc., anything on the psychotic spectrum, and anxiety disorders.
autistic people are not accepted by a majority of the mentally ill community. this is why so many autistic people have be so adamant against being labeled “mentally ill.”

Because we are not that. For the longest time, autistic people have been considered “different” from mentally ill people. People accept depression more than they accept autism. That’s how things are, and that’s exactly how things will be for a while.

You can’t try to group autism and related conditions under the “mental illness umbrella.” u just can’t.

Autism does not have a cure. Mental disorders do. Not only does lumping autism and autistic people under the “mental illness umbrella” completely ignore the unique oppression we have to endure, it’s also ableist, because you’re repeating the same eugenic retorts that anti-autism organizations like Autism Speaks do.

Stop ignoring the fact that autism and the mentally ill community are two fundamentally different things. Stop trying to be “progressive” by claiming this. You’re just throwing autistic people under the bus.

“Among the many questions taking shape in [the parents’ minds], I can imagine the one looming largest: Could their child ever be like other children?”

And here we have the crux of the problem. The focus is on whether the kids are ever going to conform rather than whether they’ll ever be happy. The only emotions this article pays attention to are the feelings of the parents.

Nothing about how their child is probably feeling like a disappointment to their parents, never mind the incredible anxiety they must be going through to try and be the child their parents wanted.

Your child will not ever be like other children.

And your child’s disability is not about you.

“The researchers found that some individuals that had been diagnosed as children no longer had symptoms - such as difficulty interacting and communicating with others, rigid adherence to rituals and routines, and repetitive movement of their bodies and objects - when they were older”.

But the conclusion we should draw from that isn’t that these people aren’t autistic anymore. They’re developing and learning things as people. Either that or they’ve been abused to the point where they’re afraid of showing their autistic traits or are ashamed of who they are. That doesn’t mean anyone was cured.

Oh look, ABA promotion. Why am I not surprised?

Sometimes we autistics learn how to fake eye contact or keep our hands still even though we feel like our fingers are burning. We can create elaborate social scripts to make it seem like we understand people like everyone else does.

“Their eye contact, gestures, the way they talk about their friends were indistinguishable from the behavior of typical adults”

I don’t know where this idea that autistic people don’t have friends or have no desire to have friends came from. But I hate it.

Autism isn’t a tragedy that parents suffer through. Autism is a reality for autistic people. And making them appear “cured” isn’t going to make them happy or successful.

[photo // post]

[[ Image Description: A photo featuring a portrait of a snow leopard lying down, facing the viewer, with a post on it by user @autisticsolus.

The post reads: “Things not to say to or about autistic people;

-“suffers from autism”
-high/low functioning
-any variation of the r slur
-mildly/severely autistic (or any other descriptor of “how” autistic someone is
-“I know better than you because I have an autistic relative/ I work with autistic people”” ]]

Things you aren’t:
  • Difficult - just because you have different needs, different emotions or different ways of living does not mean you’re difficult. People who say this are judging you based on their incorrect interpretations of you, and they’re wrong. This is a judgement, based on assumptions, based on ableist standards regarding needs. Different does not mean bad.
  • Clingy - having a bigger need than the norm for validation, social interaction or emotional closeness does not mean bad. Your feelings are valid. Your needs are valid. “Clingy” is a judgement, based on assumptions, based on ableist standards regarding emotional and physical needs. Different does not mean bad.
  • Weird - liking things more intensely, having body language that’s different than allistic/nonbpd people does not mean you are weird. This is a judgement, based on assumptions, based on ableist standards regarding social interaction. Different does not mean bad.
  • Abusive/manipulative - telling people about how you feel, telling them you want to die, or you’d die without them is not abusive. You’re not abusive. You’re not manipulative. You’re simply explaining how you feel, when you’re fighting for your life. This is a judgement, based on assumptions, based on ableist standards regarding communication. Different does not mean bad.
  • Mean - you’re not mean when you’re literal. You’re not mean when you explain how you feel. You’re not mean for asking for help. This is a judgement, based on assumptions, based on ableist standards regarding communication. Different does not mean bad.
  • Rude - you’re not rude when you refuse to hug people. You’re not rude when you leave a conversation without saying. You’re not rude when you’re being literal. You’re not rude when you ask things. This is a judgement, based on assumptions, based on ableist standards regarding communication. Different does not mean bad.

When people say mean things, it means they did not take the time to ask you what you meant.
It means that nonbpd/allistic people who do the things you do, usually mean bad things.
It means that they assume that because “everyone else” means bad things, you must mean bad things too.
It means that they assume that everyone is alike, regarding these things.
It means they assume everyone is able, and have the same reasons.
It means they do not take into account that you’re disabled.
It means they’re ableist, not that you’re bad.

The anxious travelers guide

Hello, I’ve been following this blog for a while now and it has been very helpful. I’ve learned a great deal and I would like to do something of my own that might benefit people.

I’m launching my own project, titled ‘The anxious travelers guide’

A tumblr blog (at least to begin with) which will be dedicated to compiling resources to assist anxious and autistic travelers.

I want to focus on the elements that are not usually found in travel guides. Giving people much more detail about what they might experience on their travels, whether they are on holiday or traveling for work or school.

I want to create picture stories of how to get a bus in Poland. Be able to show people what it will be like to travel by train to France. Where you will find a quiet place to calm down in Norway.

As well all of this, I want to provide tips and tricks for dealing with sensory overload. Ways to reduce stress. Anything that might make traveling just a little bit easier for people who are autistic or dealing with anxiety.

This is a huge project, and I know I cannot do it on my own. So if it is possible, I would really appreciate if you could share this with your followers, perhaps some of them would be able to participate in creating these resources.

To begin with, I think I’ll start with train stations. If any of your followers are able to help. I’d love to have pictures or explanations of what it’s like getting the train in their home town.

The tumblr is:  anxioustravelersguide.tumblr.com

I’m only just getting started, I’m excited and hopeful. Any and all help would be appreciated . 

Thank you for all that you do.

L

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This is a great idea.

We have some posts about travel here, in case you or anyone else would find the information helpful: http://askanautistic.co.uk/tagged/travel