author: william shakespeare

date someone who makes you laugh, who likes puns. date someone who is sensitive, artistic, talented, passionate, and great at what they do. date someone ambitious, who will pursue their dreams and realize them to the utmost, like a coat of arms or a career as a player. date someone who is private, discreet, and content to toe the anglican line and whose plays even the queen likes. date someone who will become known as the greatest english writer of all time. date william shakespeare.

Which Classics Author Should You Fight?
  • Charles Dickens: The Victorian equivalent of a white male tumblr meninist. Fight his past newspaper blogger ass, though the guy does write about his own "tragic experiences", so be warned that a caricature of you will probably be appearing in his next novel.
  • The Brontes: idk they're from Yorkshire I wouldn't risk it
  • Dante Aligheri: Yess he spends all his time in his room writing self-insert Bible fanfic and never goes outside, 10/10 would fight this nerd. You will win. Easily.
  • Mary Shelley: Why would you want to fight Mary Shelley???? She's nice and bad things happened to her and she invented scifi! Go reevaluate your life choices.
  • Victor Hugo: Don't. He will kill you otp viciously and then spend 38 pages describing someone's hat.
  • Jonathon Swift: It's 50/50 you'll win, but you might fall asleep from his long-winded prose before you land a punch.
  • William Shakespeare: Little is known about him, other than the fact that he had free access to bears and swords and a penchant for revenge and mass murder as plot devices. If you're gonna fight him, watch your back.
  • C.S. Lewis: Whiny and allergic to adjectives and allegorical and super racist. Fight Him. So long as your childhood can take it.
  • J.R.R Tolkien: Shakespeare's biggest fan, so a total dork. Also old and shell shocked. Your call.
  • William Thackeray: Him and his friends will get drunk and gang up on you. Not advisable.
  • Alexandre Dumas: He was once described as "the most generous, large-hearted being in the world" and had extensive military training. Just... don't.
  • Harper Lee: Still alive, so she's got a foot up on the rest of them.
  • George Orwell: Total fuckin' politics nerd. Will keep a diary of the fight.
  • Jane Austen: You'd feel too mean, it'd be like punching some harmless lana del-ray book club chic. Fight her if you want but be aware of the emotional consequences.
  • Mark Twain: Constantly angry looking. Just look at that mustache. You want to fight him already, don't you?
  • Oscar Wilde: The sassiest little shit ever. Be prepared for cane wielding sassmeister. You'll probably lose, but it'll be worth it.
Después de un tiempo

“Después de algún tiempo aprenderás la diferencia entre dar la mano y socorrer a un alma, aprenderás que amar no significa apoyarse, y que compañía no siempre significa seguridad.”

“Comenzarás a aprender que los besos no son contratos, ni regalos, ni promesas, comenzarás a aceptar tus derrotas con la cabeza erguida y la mirada al frente, con la gracia de un niño y no con la tristeza de un adulto.”

“Aprenderás a construir hoy todos tus caminos, porque el terreno de mañana es incierto para los proyectos y el futuro tiene la costumbre de caer en el vacío.”

“Después de un tiempo aprenderás que el sol quema si te expones demasiado, aceptarás incluso que las personas buenas podrían herirte alguna vez y necesitarás perdonarlas.”

“Aprenderás que hablar puede aliviar los dolores del alma, descubrirás que lleva años construir confianza y apenas unos segundos destruirla y que tú también podrás hacer cosas de las que te arrepentirás el resto de la vida.”

“Aprenderás que las nuevas amistades continúan creciendo a pesar de las distancias, y que no importa qué es lo que tienes, sino a quién tienes en la vida, y que los buenos amigos son la familia que nos permitimos elegir.”

“Aprenderás que no tenemos que cambiar de amigos, si estamos dispuestos a aceptar que los amigos cambian.”

“Te darás cuenta que puedes pasar buenos momentos con tu mejor amigo haciendo cualquier cosa o simplemente nada, sólo por el placer de disfrutar su compañía.”

“Descubrirás que muchas veces tomas a la ligera a las personas que más te importan y por eso siempre debemos decir a esas personas que las amamos, porque nunca estaremos seguros de cuando será la última vez que las veamos.”

“Aprenderás que las circunstancias y el ambiente que nos rodea tienen influencia sobre nosotros, pero nosotros somos los únicos responsables de lo que hacemos.”

“Comenzarás a aprender que no nos debemos comparar con los demás, salvo cuando queramos imitarlos para mejorar.”

“Descubrirás que se lleva mucho tiempo para llegar a ser la persona que quieres ser, y que el tiempo es corto.”

“Aprenderás que no importa a donde llegaste, sino a donde te diriges, y si no lo sabes, cualquier lugar sirve.”

“Aprenderás que si no controlas tus actos ellos te controlarán y que ser flexible no significa ser débil o no tener personalidad, porque no importa cuán delicada y frágil sea una situación: siempre existen dos lados.”

“Aprenderás que héroes son las personas que hicieron lo que era necesario, enfrentando las consecuencias.”

“Aprenderás que la paciencia requiere mucha práctica.”

“Descubrirás que algunas veces, la persona que esperas que te patee cuando te caes, tal vez sea una de las pocas que te ayuden a levantarte.”

“Madurar tiene que ver más con lo que has aprendido de las experiencias, que con los años vividos.”

“Aprenderás que hay mucho más de tus padres en ti de lo que imaginabas.”

“Aprenderás que nunca se debe decir a un niño que sus sueños son tonterías,  porque pocas cosas son tan humillantes y sería una tragedia si lo creyese porque le estarás quitando la esperanza.”

“Aprenderás que cuando sientes rabia, tienes derecho a tenerla, pero eso no te da el derecho de ser cruel.”

“Descubrirás que sólo porque alguien no te ama de la forma que quieres, no significa que no te ame con todo lo que puede, porque hay personas que nos aman, pero no saben cómo demostrarlo.”

“No siempre es suficiente ser perdonado por alguien, algunas veces tendrás que aprender a perdonarte a ti mismo.”

“Aprenderás que con la misma severidad con que juzgas, también serás juzgado y en algún momento condenado.”

“Aprenderás que no importa en cuantos pedazos tu corazón se haya partido, el mundo no se detiene para que lo arregles.”

“Aprenderás que el tiempo no es algo que pueda volver hacia atrás, por lo tanto, debes cultivar tu propio jardín y decorar tu alma, en vez de esperar que alguien te traiga flores.”

“Entonces y sólo entonces sabrás realmente lo que puedes soportar; que eres fuerte y que podrás ir mucho más lejos de lo que pensabas cuando creías que no se podía más.”

“¡Es que realmente la vida vale cuando tienes el valor de enfrentarla!”

William Shakespeare

Sir John Gielgud reads
Sonnet 97
by William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

How like a winter hath my absence been
From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year!
What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen!
What old December’s bareness everywhere!
And yet this time removed was summer’s time,
The teeming autumn, big with rich increase,
Bearing the wanton burden of the prime,
Like widowed wombs after their lords’ decease:
Yet this abundant issue seemed to me
But hope of orphans, and unfathered fruit,
For summer and his pleasures wait on thee,
And, thou away, the very birds are mute;
Or, if they sing, ‘tis with so dull a cheer,
That leaves look pale, dreading the winter’s near.


Florence Lawrence 1908

Maria Caserini 1908

Francesca Bertini 1912

Beverly Bayne 1916

Theda Bara 1916

Norma Sherer 1936

Susan Shentall 1954

Rosemary Dexter 1964

Olivia Hussey 1968

Claire Danes 1994

Actresses who have played William Shakespeare’s Juliet in Romeo and Juliet

The Renaissance stage gave extraordinary attention to independent, assertive or unruly women who transgressed conventional norms of femininity. One reason for the remarkable interest in gender in the early modern period was that traditional gender ideologies appear to have been under strain. Conventionally, women were supposed to be silent, gentle, passive, and submissive. But in the late sixteenth and early seventeenth centuries there was a consciousness of widening rifts between ideology and actual behaviour. Not least of the ideological contradictions of Shakespeare’s time was the presence on the English throne of a woman who projected an equivocal male-female identity, problematising traditional definitions of womanhood and ‘womanly’ roles. […] While a few extraordinary women were admired for their 'manly’ accomplishments, in the general society of England assertive, independent, loquacious, and insubordinate women were frequently regarded with disquiet, as threats to be contained.
The conflict of opposing gender ideologies in Much Ado would have held particular significance for contemporary audiences.
[…] Beatrice disrupts the conventional gender polarities of the period. As a woman she exhibits the assertiveness, intelligence, verbal dexterity, and strength of personality which had traditionally been associated with masculinity. The gender disruption was doubly acute on the Renaissance stage, where female roles were played by male actors. Yet Beatrice’s position as a woman is ambiguous. In a male-oriented world she is a formidable contender, urging Hero to defy her father if she dislikes his choice of a husband, and putting even Benedick on his mettle; yet she also recognises that in a male-dominated society there are powers a women cannot exercise: 'Oh God that I were a man!’ she cries as she burns to avenge Hero (4.1.294-5).
—  John F. Cox on gender issues in William Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing.