australians in space

What about creatures?

So I’ve been thinking, based off This post, how would aliens react to our superstitions (real or otherwise) about this? 

They’d probably think we’re fucking crazy, but hey. 
“No, Roark, you’re not supposed to go into that part of the woods at night.” 
“Why not?” 
“Well, it’s home to something. Could be coyotes. Could be elves. Could be something else.” 
“I thought elves didn’t exist though? That’s what the textbook said.” 
“Well, we don’t think so, but we’re never really sure.” 

Roark doesn’t go by those woods again, just in case like Steve said. 


Or, they do have an encounter like with the field lights or something
“Hey, there are lights in your field. Also the cows sound a little distressed?” 
“Don’t worry about it.”
“…Another one of your… superstitions, is the word?” 
“Well, how supersitious is it if you can see the lights?”
“Fair point.”

ANU poised to play a key role in a national space agency

The Australian National University (ANU) is poised to play a key role in a new Australian space agency, currently being considered by the federal government, and to help drive Australia’s future space industries.

As the International Astronautical Congress gets underway in Adelaide, ANU Vice-Chancellor Professor Brian Schmidt AC said the national university was central to Australia’s space industries through its strengths in space engineering and technology, and through the University’s national leadership in space research.

ANU is home to the Mount Stromlo Observatory and the world-leading ANU Research School of Astronomy and Astrophysics (RSAA), where Professor Schmidt conducted his Nobel-Prize winning research into the expanding Universe.

“ANU is a national resource with leading facilities which drive Australia’s research, as well as space industry and technology,” Professor Schmidt said.

“ANU global research and industry collaborations are helping to make space safer for space travel and satellites, and driving new technologies to develop the communications, instruments and space plasma thrusters for future space missions.”

ANU is also home to the Advanced Instrumental Technology Centre (AITC) at Mount Stromlo, which is a national centre which helps design, build and test satellites and space sensor systems.

The AITC is led by Professor Anna Moore who brings a wealth of knowledge from her time at Caltech (California Institute of Technology).

The AITC also builds world leading instruments for telescopes including the Skymapper Telescope at Siding Spring Observatory which is exploring and mapping the entire southern sky.

ANU is a partner in the Giant Magellan Telescope project and has collaboration agreements with the European Southern Observatory, as well as close associations with leading research institutions and space agencies around the world.

ANU is also home to a $20 million Cooperative Research Centre which is tracking and cleaning up hundreds of thousands of pieces of space debris which orbit Earth and pose serious risks of collision with satellites, space stations and other space craft.

Project partners include the Mount Stromlo-based EOS Space System, Lockheed Martin, NASA Ames Research Centre, Japan’s National Institute of Information and Communications, Optus and RMIT.

ANU Professor Christine Charles has led long-running research into plasma propulsion for space craft, while ANU physicists and engineers are contributing to the laser range-finding instruments for a space mission led by NASA and the German Space Agency DLR.

ANU scientists from the Research School of Earth Sciences have also worked on rocks from the Moon and with data from the Mars Curiosity Rover.

Another humans are weird space orcs idea because I really like thinking about it. What if aliens have no idea how to hide their emotions? Like, they suck at poker because they can never keep a straight face or anything. or, on a darker note, their ship is hijacked and they can’t keep the fear out of their faces, but all the humans look cold and emotionless to them. Other aliens hating having to bargain with humans becase we can bluff and keep our emotions in check so well, but when they get frustrated it’s all over. Pirates threaten the space ship and they send the human to do negotiations, and the pirate talking is super confused because no matter what threat he makes, the human just doesn’t seem to be fazed one bit.


Someone please, feel free to add to this, I love to see what else people come up with!

@space-australians

Aliens are so used to humans wanting to pet the most deadliest creatures they find because PUPPER that they have prepared on every ship with a human crewmate. They have human sitting duties and at least 2 chaperones when going planet-side, just in case they get any ideas.

Then a crew gets a human for the first time and it’s everything like what the Human Care Manual says. The human is loud, but pleasant, always joke around with the crew and was tremendous during that Flokkut Raid on Sector 6. The human even brought a camera with it to take pictures on the ship (it’s bigger than most, downright obnoxious in shape to some of the crew, but the human is happy with it, and a happy human is a bonded human)

So then they go down to a planet, letting the human explore with his chaperones. After walking for a while the group stumbles on a herd of Dwetts, elks with fish eyes and flippers. The aliens sigh cause it was bound to see creatures sooner or later, and turn to give Acceptable Reason #6 from the manual, when the human disappeared! They freak out because how did the human leave??? Does it have invisibility??? That wasn’t part of the manual!! But they hear their human saying “guys, stop moving! You’re going to upset them!”

They look down to see the human lying on his stomach looking through his camera, taking pictures. They were shocked, but did as they were told and sat down. For hours they watched the human taking photos, being as quiet as still as possible. This couldn’t be the same human??

When the human was done, it got up, stretched, and headed back for the ship. The chaperones followed suit. When they got back the captain was surprised that they returned without a creature (even with 2 chaperones, he suspected that the human would win anyway) but was astonished to hear what had happened.

“You didn’t want to take one as these ‘pets’ for the ship??”

“No???? Why would I? They aren’t domesticated, they need space to live which the ship wouldn’t supply.”

“But aren’t they cute in human terms?”

“I mean, I would say more interesting than cute. But seriously, how would we take care of it? How to feed it, groom it, keep away from all the sensitive equipment? It would be dangerous for us and it if we take one from the wild. You really want one that badly?”

“Wha- No! It’s just…you seemed to like them?”

“I mean yeah, it’s a new animal species, and I did take pictures, but not as long as I hoped for. Honestly you have to look at the ecosystem here before getting any animals on board.”

The captain immediately notified the Human Care Committee that their section on animal bonding does not apply to human subclass professional wildlife photographer

Can we talk about the concept of humans adopting other sentient aliens as equal members of their families?

Like, in the posts I’ve seen so far, there’s mostly talks of humans adopting dangerous alien critters as pets but what about humans adopting sentient aliens?

“Human-George, just leave that be, they’re just a runt.” - “… No.” - “Human-George, you can’t - put them down! What are you doing?” - “Krlunk, I’m not leaving a child behind on this forsaken moon to die.” - “But they’re just a runt, not worth raising. The broodbirther and the feeders must have left it behind when they migrated 5 sols ago.” - “Are they going to come back?” - “No, Human-George, Twargs migrate for long periods of time, and we can’t spare the time to go after them.” - “Then I’ll take them with me.” “- “What?” - “I’ll take this little champion here with me and I will raise them as my own.” - “You- you can’t just do that! You can’t just spill your pack-bonding instincts- Human George!!! Get back here!” - “Don’t listen to Krlunk, kid, I won’t leave you here alone. Doesn’t matter how many appendages you have. You hungry? Thought so, let’s go get you some grub.” - (in the distance) “Human-George! The extra rations are coming out of your pay!!!” - “See if I care, Krlunk. Go eat paperwork or so.”

Imagine human patchwork families with little aliens raised and loved alonside their own, imagine some human trying to explain to crewmates how they have a Twarg sibling and a Sh’ilean sister even though their parents look very much human, imagine humans parents trying their very best to provide their alien child with the best possible care.

Also imagine it the other way around. Humans getting adopted by aliens and bonding with them just as much as they would with their own kind, either through deeds or just love. Humans building their own families in a wild mix of colours and number of appendages or eyes.

“So this is my human side of the family, see, these are my human parents.” - “Is that your larval form in their arms, Hooman-Cassandra?” - “Sort of, yeah, and this is my Gran’hroo mother and all of her children.” - “How can you have a Gran’hoo relative? I thought your kind could only come from a bonded pair of hoomans?” - “Oh, I used to live on the same mining colony as her when I was a child and I’d play with her children, spent most of my days in their house and one day I called her ‘Acraï’ - ‘mother’ in Gran’hoo language - by accident. It kind of stuck. She took me in when my parents temporarily left for another space station and I wanted to finish my education where I’d started it. When I left for my first space journey, she gave a clan insignia and called me her daughter so yeah… this is my Mom, my Dad, and my Acraï and they’re all my parents.”

So a lot of ‘Humans are weird/space orcs’ posts always say that humans are 'apex predators’, but really we’re not.

We’re a 2.2 on the food chain (highest is 5). To put that into perspective about a pig or an anchovy. Yeah.

So imagine aliens thinking that well obviously humans must be the apex predators of Earth, after all they’re so advanced, use pursuit as a form of attack and have high pain tolerance etc etc.

But they find out that we aren’t. We literally just said “fuck you food chain” and rose above our standing. Imagine how aliens would react to that.

Interstellar Cultural Exchange

A problem that we might have is the importance of food. There are certain things that I’m quite certain will be constant from culture to culture, and, barring the possibility of aliens taking control of  their evolution in such a way that they no longer need to eat, I think food would be one of them.

People would be careful in the beginning, but eventually some people would break more and more quarantine and contraband laws, resulting in unusual fusion which we might not be able to predict.


“What’s this apple-looking thing I’m eating?” 

“It’s actually an animal that sucks sap out of trees. Think of it as a vegetarian tick.”


“What is that?”

“It’s called chocolate, want some?”

***Two Hours Later***

“I see colors!”

“Chocolate is space cocaine. Got it.”


“Human, I have made gumbo using ingredients from my planet. Would you like some?”

“Isn’t your biome arsenic-based?”

“Your point?”


“Want some chips?”

“Are you insane human!? That has SALT in it! Are you trying to kill me!?”

You know, most animals that sing just do so in order to defend territory or attract a mate. Humans and a few other animals do it just for fun but a lot don’t.

What if, following the humans are weird thing, most intelligent species in the universe either don’t sing or just sing to flirt or start arguments so when they encounter humans they’re really confused.

Like? They just sing randomly? They actually plan out their singing and there are humans that train for it and make careers out of it? The humans use singing for teaching and expressing emotions other than lust or aggression?

And humans sing in order to remember things easily, lull other humans to sleep, calm themselves down, express every emotion they might have, and even more. And all of this is so confusing to the aliens.

Go for the Head

so, I was thinking about how human bodies can survive a great deal of damage, right? 

probably all the guides on humans say things like “if you really need to kill one, go for the head. that’s the surest way to kill a human.” 

but do you realize that even that might just not be enough?

please, allow me to introduce Mr. Phineas Gage. 

Mr. Gage was a foreman working in the construction of railroads. He is most famous because he survived an hideous accident where a 3.2 cm thick, 1 meter long iron rod was driven into his brain by an explosion. 

Let me repeat: an iron pole rocketing through the organ that controls the whole body was not enough to kill him

Just in case you need another picture to get the idea of just how serious was the injury. 

of course such a severe injury could not leave him unscarred: his personality changed completely, and he had moments of delirium. 

but he survived. not only that, but he went on having a relatively normal life. his speech, movement and intelligence WERE NOT IMPAIRED BY THE INJURY. 

aliens have all the more reason to be scared shitless of us. 

Humanity is so beautiful

So I learned two cool things about humans: 
Humans have stripes!
Human skin is overlaid with what dermatologists call Blaschko’s Lines, a pattern of stripes covering the body from head to toe. The stripes run up and down your arms and legs and hug your torso. You cannot see them without special equipment as the difference between the stripe cells and the non-stripes are too subtle for human eyes to pick up. You will also notice them at if something irritates the skin, as rashes and moles can form along these invisible lines.

Humans are bio-luminescent!
We glow in the dark. Natural chemical reactions in our cells let out some energy in the form of visible light. Unfortunately this light is very weak, about 1000 times weaker than the eye can see. Scientists still don’t know if there are animals capable of seeing this light in humans. 

So, it gave me an idea, and I will be writing something on it, but I’m also eager to see where others would go with the idea: what if humans met a race that could see our stripes, or our glow, or both! 
My take on the idea will involve the aliens adoring these glowing stripy creatures. Humans, meanwhile, are really confused about why these aliens find us so much more attractive than the more colourful creatures out there. Their compliments would confuse us. We literally cannot see what makes us beautiful to them. 

Anyone who wants to write this, feel free to go other places; love, hate, disgust, confusion. Any reaction from the humans, or aliens, can make a good story. 

Presumably, if adult humans are weird, then human kids must be weird as well. But of course, since aliens probably wouldn’t interact with human children too much, there might not be much about them in the human guide.

Imagine a human leaving her kid with an alien friend because her SO is sick and none of her human crewmates are able to act as babysitter and she’s got an important meeting. So she goes to the meeting and the alien takes her kid to one of the rooms in the ship that acts as a sort of play area.

Then, when the human comes out of the meeting, she picks her phone up and sees that she has some missed calls…

1st call: “Hey, Katie, it’s me, Grit. I know you’re probably in the meeting by now and can’t answer your phone, but I was just wondering… Jackie’s been chasing the other kids a lot, is she hunting them? Is that part of the whole predatory instincts thing? They all seem to be having fun— at least I think so, they’re all making that weird noise you guys make— but I just thought I’d let you know. And, um, listen… she’s not going to try and eat the ones she catches, is she?”

2nd call: “Hi, Katie, Grit again— look, I know that you guys are descended from tree climbing mammals and so your offspring need climbing equipment to satisfy those instincts— but there’s no way she’s supposed to be that high, right? None of the other parents are doing anything and I can’t go up and get her down because my hooves can’t get a grip on the frame. She’s right on top and— NO!<incomprehensible noises that sound like a cross between the moo of a cow and the bray of a donkey>— okay, so she’s swinging from the bars. One of the other humans just explained that that’s normal. He’s offered me some coffee, but I said no because I’m pretty sure that stuff’s toxic. I’ll try not to call again unless there is an emergency.”

3rd call: “I’m so sorry, Jackie’s been injured. She tripped over and seems to have lost a layer of skin from her knee. She’s making these noises and there’s liquid coming from her eye sockets and I don’t know what to do! Please pick up! There’s blood and the coffee offering human keeps saying she should suck the blood out or something. Is that a thing? Does your species’ saliva have healing properties? Shoud I call a medic?! Please pick up!”

4th call: “Sorry for that last message. Jackie seems to be doing fine now. I don’t know how— she should be laid out for weeks after an injury like that! Please, for my sanity, can you get a human babysitter next time?”

Humans are weird

Just imagine an alien’s reactions to getting a tattoo. I’m picturing the conversation going something like:

“Wow human-Sandy, that is a lovely painting on your arm. How long will it last?

“Oh, it’s permanent. It’s a tattoo.”

“What’s a tattoo?”

“Well it’s kind of like painting on your skin, but we actually inject the ink into us with needles so it’s more permanent.”

“Oh. That’s… nice.” And as he walks away he’s just muttering about how humans drink poison that ruins their liver, and inject ink into themselves “for fun” and none of his crewmates believe him because no species could be THAT self destructive, not even humans! 

Of course later, Sandy tells them all about it, and once again they are left completely confused by the entirety of human existence.

What if we are both the Space Orcs and the Space Hippies of the Galaxy?

I absolutely love the idea that humanity will turn out to be the Space Orcs of the universe with our innate violence and toughness but what if we turn out to be the space hippies as well?

Like every other species that has reached Space fairing status has slaughtered every predator, every dangerous insect, every poisonous plant ….even viruses  and bacteria have been exterminated. Basically everything that can be a threat to them on their planet has been removed and it’s functions in the cycle of the planet have been replicated through scientific means. Sanitizing your Homeworld  like this is considered a mark of progress and civilization. Only barbaric species have natural dangers on their world. In advanced societies only lifeforms which are useful are allowed on your planet

And then we appear on the scene and although we are intimidating and and violent the other species welcome us. And then on our first meeting the alien ambassador notices a beautiful painting of a jellyfish on the Captain’s wall

“What an intriguing creature. Is it native to your planet? What is it function?” asked X’thio of the Kril

“Oh this? Yeah. The Box Jellyfish. Nasty piece of work. It’s poison targets your pain center and you literally spend weeks in excruciating pain. You can die very easily if you don’t get help quickly. My third cousin got stung by one. She said it was so painful it made child birth look like a fun day at the park“

“These things still exist on your world!? How horrifying. We would gladly help you exterminate them if you don’t have the capability”

“Exterminate them!? Mate we are trying to save them. They are severely endangering due all the pollution in the ocean!”

“What!? Why?”

“Well we used to throw out a lot of garbage  in the ocean and….”

“I understand how pollution works. Why would you want to save such a horrid creature?”

“Well  isn’t it obvious? It’s because it’s endangered. Besides they barely killed any people. Now snakes..let me tell you about snakes. There this snake that climbed through toilet and bit my uncle right in the…….”

And that’s when the Ambassador knew that they wouldn’t be leaving their Embassy on Earth

here’s another one i thought of


what if humans are the only ones capable of being offended?

like, an alien says, casually “i don’t like you” and the human… reacts?

the alien is all “am… i not using that word correctly? like is to indicate a preference for? and I have no particular preference for you human we just met?”

and the human is like “first of all, how dare you“

and the alien doesn’t understand why the human is angry? there was nothing about the value of human in the statement, so why did the alien’s statement distress them so?? the feeling of liking (or absence thereof) was completely dependent upon the [internal thinking mechanism process] of the alien???

and like 30 minutes of language analysis later, they come to the conclusion that, because the human is new, there is no reason for their presence to cause a pleasant feeling (which is liking? the alien guesses), that the alien wasn’t trying to cause offense (OF COURSE NOT, THEY DON’T HAVE A DEATH WISH), so the human is just like “oh, ok, i guess i’ll just have to grow on ya!” *failwink*

and then there’s the lightbulb moment for the alien, like

OH. This is why humans are aggressively social. pets/hugs/touches everything. forms pack bonds so quickly and fiercely. They like things. and they want to be liked in return.

Humans Are Space Orcs: Braces

I have been reading a lot of these so here it is,

Just imagine an alien when they find out about braces.

“Do you mean to tell me that you strap metal to your young and slowly move their bones, without pain killers, over long periods of time? The bones that they use to eat? Then make them wear more metal in their mouths for the rest of their life, all for a standard of beauty?”

Nah dude, some do it for medical reasons. I knew someone who had three teeth stuck in the roof of their mouth so they put braces on them and fixed that right up”

“I don’t think I understand”

“They had to do it, because they had already pulled out their baby teeth so they would have had gaps or out of order teeth. Or get infected.

“But how did braces on the outside of their teeth affect the teeth that were *stuck*”

They first had to cut through the bone to get to them and then they stuck brackets on them. But after that, they just dragged the teeth into place.”

“Through the bone?”

“Yup”

"And it worked?”

"Yup”

*horrified aliens* “I thought you said you care about your young”

"We do”

*even more Horrified aliens*

*off to the side* “didn’t the human say they cared about us”

Humans are weird...

I love all these humans are weird posts so I’m trying my hand at one. I’ve been thinking, humans are like, ridiculous specialists. Our brains is so big we’re born prematurely so as not to tear our mothers apart. And we’re born crazy weak and we have super long childhoods to compensate. We pack bond and bond with bigger creatures to deal with this (this is why we think babies of all species are cute, it’s basically a drive to take care of this weak little thing because our own children are so weak). So what if alien species evolved so there was one, super weak but really brilliant species, has fine motor skills, huge language skills etc, and one that evolved as a symbiote that was basically huge protective dog/ox type to do the heavy lifting. And it’s really bizarre that we don’t have this symbiosis. Like the fact that humans are a stand alone species is weird. We seem huge and bulky to the tiny intelligent species (in my head it’s basically an otter/raven hybrid) and small and delicate to the other. And they don’t get how we function alone, until they see us spilling our pack bonding instincts all over everything, hostile predators, teddy bears, roombas, even cups with little chips in them. And then it’s like, oh I see, you don’t bond really strongly to one thing you bond just a little bit to everything and wait to see what sticks.

jumping on the “humans are space orcs” bandwagon, I’m just imagining what our food must look like to an outsider

like imagine trying to explain that we eat spoiled food. like, sometimes it grows bacteria on accident and we dislike it, but sometimes we deliberately expose it to bacteria so the exact same reaction can happen but for some reason this time we’re okay with it and call it stuff like “wine” and “cheese” and “yogurt”

we eat capsaicin, a natural pesticide and fungicide. and we think adverse reactions to it are so funny that we make videos that are just people eating extremely hot things.

we eat halite, a literal fucking rock, with such frequency that a dish is not considered properly seasoned without it.

turducken exists

Now just imagine an alien’s reaction to a woman on the ship getting her period. The aliens can smell blood, and they’ve just had a fight with some space pirates. Sel’then’ek is making sure everyone is okay when he gets to Rachel and smells blood.

Sel’then’ek: “HumanRachel are you okay?”

Rachel: “What? Um yeah I’m fine, I’m just going to the bathrooms real quick.”

Sel’then’ek: “Rachel do not lie to me! I can smell your blood! Where are you injured? Let me help!”

Rachel: *backing away slowly* “Really Sel, I’m fine! It’s nothing!”

Sel’then’ek: “HumanRachel! Why won’t you tell me where you are hurt! Why are you running! Come back! WHY ARE YOU TAKING YOUR SATCHEL WITH YOU???!!!”


Feel free to add to this! I love to hear what people come up with!

@space-australians

More Humans Are Weird

Okay, but this: we’ve established that humans have an odd perception of injuries. But what about how many are afraid of doctors? 

Alien: Human Alana, that is a lot of blood. Are you okay?

Human, with cut foot: It’s just a cut. Hardly feel anything. *looks closer* Oh, cool. Hey, is that my tendon?

Alien: By my knowledge, if you are able to see the bones or tendons, you need stitches. Should we not get you to the medical bay immediately?

Human *uncomfortable*: Or… what would happen if I just, you know… didn’t? I mean, I’m fine with a bigger scar. Scars are cool.

Alien: But does your species not get infected wounds??

Human: We do… but I really don’t want to get stitches.

Alien: Human Alana, I believe I must insist! It is for your well-being!

Human: *starts to panic*

Alien: *Freaks the fuck out because they don’t know what to do*

My contribution for the humans are weird: Deja Vu eddition

The concept of deja vu. Like it doesn’t happen that often to humans so it’s pretty normal if aliens didn’t know that can happen to a human. Maybe it only happens to humans and aliens misunderstand the entire concept.


One time on an away mission we encountered it first. It was with human-Chloe, our pilot. I and a few others were with her sent to explore an unknown asteroid belt. It was fairly dangerous but we had learned that human instinct, their so called ‘gut feeling’ was quite handy at times. So the captain assigned her with us. I still don’t know how the human gut is involved in their logical thinking, something that to known knowledge happens in their brains, but who knows with that species. 

We had mapped the outer rings and were busy with the inner parts of the belt, all went well. Human-Chloe cut some close edges, she calls it efficient manoeuvring, I call it nausiating, but we finished mapping the belt and were ready to fly back. I was watching human-Chloe closely, trying to brace myself for her ‘efficient manoeuvring’ when I noticed her shift uncomfertable in her chair. ‘Is everything okay human-Chloe?’ I asked. She turned around and brushed it off. ‘Oh, just deja vu.’ ‘What is that? Are you alright?’ I asked. Humans are know to be able to brush of major pain when they are busy. I looked outside anxiously. We were flying through a dense astroid field, human-Chloe needed to be in top condition for this and her frowning didn’t reasure me at all.

‘I just feel like I’ve experienced this before.’ Human-Chloe explained. She made a sharp turn, way to sharp if you ask me. ‘It’s nothing to worry about.’ I didn’t dare question her any further, instead held on for dear life as she nearly crashed into some astroids. I never knew humans were sensitive to the fourth dimension. But it would explain why human-Chloe wasn’t worried at all when cutting close edges. If she knew what was going to happend then that would explain why she was such a good pilot. This was great news, fourth dimentional sensitives on our crew! I knew there was more to that ‘gut-feeling’ of theirs.

When we got back I immediately went to update the system on our human knowledge. Weird they never mentioned it before, maybe humans think everyone has that. I can’t wait to ask human-Chloe how their 4D sensitivity works in detail!!