australian-comedy

8

aussie appreciation  tim minchin

“‘But evolution is only a theory!’ — Which is true. I mean, it is only a theory, it’s good that they say that. I think, it gives you hope, doesn’t it? That… that maybe they feel the same way about the theory of gravity, and they might just float the fuck away.”

Lano and Woodley’s The Island

Frank: Have you seen Lord of the Rings?
Colin: No.
Frank: That trilogy of films, that’s the most successful trilogy of films in all history and you know why?
Colin: Why?
Frank: It had a happy ending. It won 11 Oscars cause it had a happy ending. Cause Frodo gets the ring and he throws it into the volcano at the end, he destroys it. It’s a happy ending. He gets it back. Into the volcano with that big eye. I don’t know what that was all about. And he destroys it. It’s a happy ending. He goes through all those trials and tribulations but at the end he gets it back. He throws it in. It’s a happy ending. IT TOOK HIM NINE FUCKING HOURS! But he gets it back, he gets it in. It’s a happy ending. It’s happy. It’s a happy ending.

3

 Dad is a quiet man. He’s only ever given me two pieces of advice. The first piece he’s ever given me is, “Hannah, anyone who makes a broad generalisation should be shot.”

The second piece of advice is he gave me when I was leaving home. He wanted to give me something to that’d help me cope with the world. And he chose this. He said, “Hannah, always peel the fat end of the carrot first.”

Now I always took this as a metaphor on how to live life. You know, tackle the big jobs first, and then the tapered jobs? But as I got older and got to know Dad as a person, I realised. Nope. No metaphor. Nah he just didn’t want to see me struggle with carrots. 

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What’s this then, slut?