australia women's

Now just imagine an alien’s reaction to a woman on the ship getting her period. The aliens can smell blood, and they’ve just had a fight with some space pirates. Sel’then’ek is making sure everyone is okay when he gets to Rachel and smells blood.

Sel’then’ek: “HumanRachel are you okay?”

Rachel: “What? Um yeah I’m fine, I’m just going to the bathrooms real quick.”

Sel’then’ek: “Rachel do not lie to me! I can smell your blood! Where are you injured? Let me help!”

Rachel: *backing away slowly* “Really Sel, I’m fine! It’s nothing!”

Sel’then’ek: “HumanRachel! Why won’t you tell me where you are hurt! Why are you running! Come back! WHY ARE YOU TAKING YOUR SATCHEL WITH YOU???!!!”

Feel free to add to this! I love to hear what people come up with!


Humans Are Weird: Women Edition Part II

Continuation of my Humans Are Weird: Women Edition that no one asked for! What aspect of women in society will this entail? I do not know. Vallion will be telling the story, so let’s see what they have to tell.

Part I >> Part III


Several Earthen moon cycles had passed since the porn incident and Vallion sensed their crew had settled into a dormant state. They did not like the feeling. It had been proven time and time again by the humans that, when things became quiet and calm, it was only a precursor for chaos and mayhem. They shared their thoughts with Lt. Gen. Noriko Murakami and Brig. Gen. Lillian Balogh during their refreshment break, termed “coffee break”, in the mess hall (though coffee could kill a H’hish within an hour if medical action was not taken, humans had no problem consuming the beverage. A H’hish could only consume it if the coffee was decaffeinated). Needless to say, the human women were far from helpful. Instead of easing their doubts and worries, the two multiplied it ten-fold.

The three of them were reclined in their chairs when Vallion brought up the subject. “I feel that something…ominous will happen soon; and I do not believe it is because of that awful movie I and the other H’hish were made to watch by your fellow humans.” Vallion was firm in their belief and gave the two women, one their superior officer and the other their subordinate, a stern, pointed look he often saw other humans direct toward each other in such situations.

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Humans Are Weird: Women Edition Part III

We last left off with Vallion and Fatima working their way to the engine room after the ship’s main lights went out. The mystery behind this is still to be discovered, so let’s dive into the story, shall we?

Part I >> Part II >> Part IV


“Okay, we’re almost to the engine room,” Fatima announced as she flicked off her map of the ship.

Vallion sighed, relieved. “Thank Saolo the Great.” Fatima gave them a sideways look. Vallion put their arms up in surrender. “I just mean we’ll solve this mystery soon.”

She did not appear impressed. “The ship’s rocked three times within the last five minutes, Vallion. Something’s up.”

“Maybe it’s space pirates.”

“What?” She stopped at stared at them, slack jawed.

Vallion shrugged. “Murakami and Balogh were making up stories of space pirates earlier. I thought that might humor you.”

Now Fatima smiled. “Now that makes sense.” Again, Vallion felt their chest tighten. They needed to see the H’hishian doctor soon. “But I doubt it’s pirates. They wouldn’t be so stupid as to attack an A.F. vessel.”

“I know,” said Vallion. “They were only fancying the idea to frighten me.”

“Did it work?” asked Fatima.

Vallion shuttered. “Too well. Humans are weird.” Fatima started to laugh before the ship rocked again. “We better hurry,” they said.

She nodded, and they sprinted down the last stretch of the way.

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These women are calling out Google for its sexist definitions

Google’s internal dictionary can be a lovely resource. But a pair of women in Australia recently discovered a not-so-lovely quality lurking in some of the example sentences. Certain words play up damaging and dangerous stereotypes about women, some sounding “straight out of the 1950s.” The example sentence for the word “ugly” is particularly offensive.