australia christmas

Humans are weird: mistletoe

Okay please don’t ask me why i got this idea in mid july.
What if it were december and a human puts a mistletoe somewhere.
The aliens would see that everytime two of the humans stand under it, they would kiss.
Of course it would confuse them.
But what if one of the aliens gets the idea that the human body is reacting to the mistletoe making us kiss others when we get near it? What if it was like a disease?
Then one of the humans is kissing one of the aliens and it is freaking out because it got the disease and doesn’t wanna die.
Then there is human steve who just gives hershey kisses.
And don’t even get me started on “missile toes”

Humans are... giving

Ok! So hear me out! Even though it’s August, my mom told me that there was only 19 more weeks until Christmas, so I started thinking:
How would an alien react to their human crew celebrating their holidays?
Like they walk into the common room to find it covered in festive holiday stuff and finding out that humans celebrate many other holidays besides just christmas. Like that their humans are coming together to celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and everything else I’m forgetting, because there are so little of them on the ship. Then, they find out that there are some humans that are like the aliens, they don’t celebrate anything, but they are still there to swap stories with other humans, like funny stories of their childhood or embarrassing stories about the beginnings of their pubescent life.
(Idk my friends, I just find how people spend their holidays so cute)

IGES 2082: Chapter A.5

Commander Xanep was the first one to mention it.

“Dr. Kowalczyk has not been in the common areas for a week. All I have seen of her is in the greenery room. This is unusual behavior.”

Maria was one to keep to herself but this was different. She hadn’t even come out for meals.

“We received a shipment the other day. Do you think something happened on Earth to make her upset?” questioned Zalil.

Commander Xanep tapped her fingers on the table, thinking.

“It is possible. Zalil, Izzik go see what you can find about current events on Earth. I will go to Dr. Kowalczyk.”

They made their way about the ship quickly.

Commander Xanep made her way to the human’s door. She knocked gently with one hand.

“Dr. Kowalczyk? Are you alright?”

Sensing movement, the door opened. Commander Xanep peeked her head in. Dr. Kowalczyk was asleep in her bunk wearing what she called pea-jam-aahs. The room was tidy but her desk was littered with papers.

Dr. Kowalczyk had described photographs before but this was the first time Commander Xanep had seen them. Many of the humans in them looked similar to Dr. Kowalczyk but to Commander Xanep all humans looked quite similar. A few folded pieces of paper had been laid on top of the mess.  She picked one up.

This one had an image of a quadrupedal animal. It looked delicate and thin if you subtracted the horns coming out of it’s head. It was standing in some sort of white subtance. What had the doctor called it-snow! Commander Xanep opened the card.

Thin scrawling letters were scratched onto the paper. Xanep had trouble reading it. She knew English moderately well, but this writing was unusual. She could make out the name at the bottom. Helena.

“Commander,” A voice said softly from the hall. She turned and left the room.

“There was an ‘earthquake’ in a place called Chile, and today is Chris-t-mas Eva,” Izzik reported.

“Would that have any significance?”

“The second one sounds familiar. I will go check.”

Commander Xanep went to check her human guide with Zalil and Izzik in tow.

“Here it is! Christmas is a religious holiday. It is celebrated by many humans. During this time period, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are also celebrated. It is very possible that humans may feel home-sick around-”

“What does that mean?” Izzik questioned.

“Well. Home is a place of dwelling or shelter, and sick is a state of unwellness-” explained Zalil.

“Is it contagious?” Izzik asked.

“I’ll keep reading,” Commander Xanep answered.

“A good way to help a human crewmate during a state of homesickness is to comfort them, distract them, or remind them of home. Approaches vary from human to human.”

“So what do humans do for Christmas?”

Commander Xanep kept reading and after an hour or so they’d come up with a plan. They were going to help their human.

-A Few Hours Later-

Maria woke up with a start. Commander Xanep was hovering above her.

“You are needed in the greenery room,” She said, then left.

Maria quickly put a jumpsuit on and shoved her feet into her boots. Her fuzzy red and green socks peeked out the top. She fought back the painful tug in her heart. She missed her family. She missed her sister, Helena. She missed watching the Grinch and eating pierogi till her stomach hurt.

She hurried to the room. What if this day was about to get even worse? What is something had happened to her plants? She’d checked on them about six hours ago. It couldn’t be that bad. Could it?

She burst through the door and was confused. A large amount of glow sticks had been strung around a tomato plant. Faint Christmas music played from a data pad next to a plate of what looked to be- hard tack?

“Good Christmas, Maria,” Izzik said with a smile.

With tears in her eyes, Maria reached out, badly wrapping all three of them in a hug.

“Merry Christmas to you too.”


Some of the fun shots from my Overwatch Xmas cartoon,
 How the Reaper Stole Christmas!

Very grateful to Yoav / The Living Tombstone for doing the amazing audio and music for this piece. We got it finished and uploaded on Christmas Day, both in the US and Australia!

Christmas may be over now, but I hope people still enjoy it!

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year to ya!


A Peacock Spider Christmas

(Turn the sound on for this one!)

idk if y’all americans and that know this, but in Australia instead of snow at christmas we get these lil shiny bugs everywhere and they’re attracted to the christmas lights and we call them christmas beetles

and despite being australian they don’t bite or anything they just crawl around on your hand and it’s such a good and pure feeling and yeah


Merry Christmas everyone!