right or wrong

Summary: talking in the shadows and wishing in the dark. 

A/N: this is the second installment of Luke’s story, I also decided to give the girls names and Luke’s girl’s name is Anya, so say hello to Anya. also was inspired by a song. hehehe let me know if you figure it out.

Pairing: Luke x Reader

Warnings: none that I know of. 

Word count: 1,551 

It wasn’t the first time Luke and I had met but that wasn’t true for the rest of the people at this party. God knows what Luke Hemmings was doing at a house party in Malibu. I didn’t even know, but it wasn’t helping me or my oh so secret attraction to the aussie. 

This was actually the house of one of my band members, he liked to throw parties here so that when he went back to his apartment in Hollywood the only things to come home with him, would have been his girl of the night and a hangover for after. 

We were about two hours into the party when I decided to make some tea and find a quite place away from all the noise. Lucky me, I had a key to every room in this house and knew that the attic served as a second apartment. I one of my fellow band members that I was going upstairs, so they wouldn’t get worried and I made my way. 

You know they say that some of the best romances always have a little turmoil and pain, that isn’t how things were for Luke and I. My relationship with Luke actually started out as an affair and caused the turmoil and pain that would be brought on, and it was all my fault. 

I was sitting on the outdoor balcony that had been attached to the attic, when I heard the glass door slide open and close. There are only a few people who had a key to this part of the house so I was not worried about who was joining me, but never in a million years did I think it would have been Luke. 

“So this is where you go to avoid all the party maniacs, man I should have followed you up here sooner.” 

As soon as I heard that thick accent, I knew I was in trouble. Luke Robert Hemmings was the one man who no matter what he did, sent shivers down my spine and I couldn’t control it no matter what I did. 

I turned to him, stared for a good moment and turned back to look at the night beach in front of me. “I guess you could say that. How did you get up here anyway?” I asked, trying to sound annoyed. Though I did feel a rush of excitement run through me every time I heard him breathe. 

“Sweetheart, the door was unlocked, and I saw you walk up hear.” he responded with a smirk evident not only on his face but in his voice. I had no idea that this was all an act, but let me tell you he played it well.

“That doesn’t mean you have to follow me,” I said putting my cup to the side and running my hands through my hair. “Some one could have seen you, what were you thinking?” 

“What’s the problem, we aren’t doing anything wrong, we are just talking, and besides Mark isn’t even here? Where is he, Anya? Where? I don’t see him here with you, I never do?” Luke was shooting off the questions trying to break my resolve about us. I had told him nothing could happen, because I was with someone else, it also seemed that man was never around. If Mark and I weren’t spotted in the media so often or if I wasn’t engaged to the man, no one would even believe that our relationship existed.  

“Luke I’ve already told you, we can’t do anything more than talk. I love Mark, he loves me. Why can’t you see that? I am engaged to him, I am going to marry him.” I turned to Luke defending my current relationship. I mean, it’s not like the thought of Luke is always in the back of my mind, or that the sight of him makes me want to do sinful things. It felt like I was trying to convince my self and not the sex on a stick infront of me. I didn’t even know what he wanted from me.

“For once Anya tell me something truthful, not about who go home to at night but what you feel at night.” Luke requested. He was leaning against the side railing of this balcony with both his arms and legs crossed, staring me down. I knew that he wouldn’t loosen his gaze until I did as he asked. 

I mean it wasn’t like he was wrong. Mark and I still had sex, but it was never about me, or about us, just him. I was starting to believe that our spark was fading. Besides all Luke and I ever did was talk, and stare at each other from opposite walls of events never once to be seen together. So it wasn’t like we had done anything wrong. Always making circles around each other, trying to hide the connection we both desperately craved from each other, but were both to prideful to even admit. To the naked eye we were friends.

I wanted to tell Luke that he was always on my mind. I wanted to tell him to take me into the room and make me forget everything but him, and the way he would make me feel. I wanted him, all of him, forever, but it would only ever be a dream. I couldn’t tell him those things.

 I had a fiancé that wasn’t Luke. A fiancé that was never around when it didn’t concern him. A fiancé who didn’t seem to care about me or my future, but just the escape, or the pleasure I could give him after a long day. What was I doing with my life and why had I forgotten to make sure I was cared for. 

“Fine, you want to know something truthful Luke,” he looked at me with hopeful eyes. I walked inside to give us a little more privacy than that balcony could provide. He followed me in, and shut the door. It was so quite between us that I could hear the music, people, and alcohol taking over everything down stairs and I stopped. I turned around.  

“If he knew what I thought about you it would break his heart and I wish that I could but I can’t make the fantasy stop, the thought you makes me go crazy.” I didn’t even have to look at him to know this is what he wanted to hear, but I wasn’t done. “Every night I’m undressing with him and I’m thinking of you
and Yeah I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help but feel this way.” 

I hadn’t realized that I was pacing until He grabbed my shoulders and made me stop moving. I looked up at him and he gave me a weak smile. “Look, I know that we can’t do anything because you are with someone else. Just don’t say it’s unholy if I hold you for now, because baby, I will only tempt you if you want me too.” He said, leading me over to the couch and laying down pulling me on top of him.  

I didn’t really know what Luke’s plan was, one minute he was pushing me to admit how I felt about him and the next telling me that he just wanted to be there for me. I knew he didn’t like Mark, that was obvious. I was expecting for him to initiate something between us, not for him to just bring light to my life. Luke seemed to be that sunshine that breathed life into someone and make things easier. 

I also had no idea what I was doing, with my life, with mark, or even with Luke, but I knew my time was running out and I didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore. When I was with Mark things seemed right, but felt wrong, and when I was with Luke it seemed wrong but felt oh so right. I didn’t know what to do, so when Luke finally fell asleep on the couch, I got off of him, gathered my self, and kissed him on the forehead. I checked my phone realizing it was late, and made my way back down stairs to say goodbye to my friends and make my way home.

It was about 3:00am when I finally made it home. I kicked off my shoes plugged in my phone and saw that Luke had texted me. 

hey next time you might not want to leave lipstick on my forehead. ;)  

In that moment I truly wanted to punch him, but it still made me laugh a little. I deleted the text, shut off my phone and went to bed. 

Once I got under the covers I felt Marks arm wrap around my waste and waited just few moments to rush to the bath room and fake throwing up from the party. Man that one drink, six hours ago really messed me up. I rolled my eyes as if that was true. I flushed the toilet, turned out the light and made my way back to bed. I laid back down on my side of the bed, back facing him and drifted off only thinking of one man and he was no where around.

tenzen  asked:

"chucks a wobbly" what strange Australian language is this

Mate, make yourself a cuppa and I’ll explain it to you.

To ‘chuck a wobbly’ is a colloquial phrase used to imply that the individual doing the chucking of the wobby is being very angry in an undignified manner. Similar turns of phrase, with increasing severity and dramatics, include:

  • To have a tanty (tantrum)
  • To lose one’s banana (Alternatively, to flip one’s banana or ‘nana)
  • To chuck a wobbly
  • To pitch a major piss fit.

I hope that has helped!