my favourite thing ever in the history of this universe is the misogyny speech. i love it. i love it so much.
for those who don’t know what the misogyny speech is: australia’s PM julia gillard was our first female prime minister and was bullied relentlessly throughout her career by sexist politicians saying that as a woman she was unfit to lead. and then. then. one day, julia gillard snapped.
the resulting three-minute speech, known simply as the ‘misogyny speech’ in australia, was possibly the most epic smackdown seen in australian political history, surpassed only by “i wanna do you slowly”. it was incredible. students memorised it and marched through the streets yelling it. a national australian choir arranged it as a five-harmony piece. even hillary clinton went out of her way to meet julia gillard and tell her how fucking awesome the misogyny speech was.
i, personally, have the misogyny speech memorised. because i live in tony abbott’s electorate, and my dream of dreams is to see him at the shops one day and follow him while yelling it.
- we all refer to the prime minister by their first name. we know them well, and they know us. all of us.
- there’s a man on the street corner who never leaves. “just waiting for a mate,” he says. you realise he is on every corner, of every street.
- you are swooped by a magpie in the same place, at the same time, every single day. “it’s swooping season!” says your neighbour. it has always been swooping season.
- sometimes you hear a woman whispering late at night - or early in the morning. “rage” she hisses. “rage”.
- the prime minister never seems to last long and often disappears through no discernible democratic process. one of them eats a raw onion in an attempt to assimilate. he is gone by morning, replaced by another.
On indigenous land, Trump wants a pipeline and Turnbull wants a coal mine.
That is, Turnbull just announced he’s gonna change the Native Title Act
so it can’t be used to stop the Adani coal mine. This happens a lot.
Whenever the Native Title Act helps give Indigenous people power to stop
destructive government projects, the government just amends the Act to
disempower them again. It’s a weak law.
The world over, stopping climate change, stopping fossil fuels and empowering Indigenous people are deeply linked.
Now that Tony Abbott will soon return to his home planet after losing the Prime Ministership of Australia let’s take a moment to remember this touching moment where he ate a raw onion, skin and all, just like we humans do.
one of my fave things about australian politics is that it’s almost entirely made up of old white men who have no idea what they’re doing, no-one trusts them, they’re all racist fools who put us in debt, every single one of them has been thoroughly humiliated on tv at least once
and then there’s penny wong, a left-wing malaysian lesbian who is quite literally the only australian politician i know of never to have made a fool of herself. she’s never lost a debate. she is five feet of rage, climate change action, and whoop-ass. everyone i know wants her to be prime minister but she’s literally said she doesn’t think australia could handle it. i love her
President Obama offered to pay for Vice President Biden’s son’s cancer
treatment after finding out Biden was considering selling his house to
pay for it. That’s really kind but… holy shit. If the *Vice President*
has to *sell his house* to pay for healthcare, what chance do regular
Americans have? How is anyone still alive in that country?? Australia,
do not do anything to creep in the direction of America’s healthcare
system. Keep Medicare free. Including frikking pap smears.
i love australia because it has a really diverse population, strict gun control, near-perfect separation of church and state, a relative absence of political extremism, great memes, and beautiful natural wonders
i hate australia because the government refuses to legalise gay marriage, our political system is highly unstable and every time we replace our leader it causes mass confusion, a coal mine is currently being planned practically on top of the great barrier reef, and any refugees who attempt to come here by boat are locked up indefinitely in offshore concentration camps with a total media blackout in place so no-one knows the extent of the human rights violations that are happening there
Pauline Hanson has used the recent terror attack against London to start the hashtag #Pray4MuslimBan. There’s nothing satirical there. She’s a leach. She’s an opportunistic cruel racist. Her brand of politics is the equivalent of a personified vulture swooping down on the victims of a tragedy to caw out racist tirades. Here’s a suggestion: #Pray4PaulineToFuckOff