aunty problems

Fandom Aunty Li on Fanfiction

I’m old as dirt and been around in fandoms longer than many of you have been alive. Here’s my advice on writing fanfiction to get me to read it:

1. Access points, aka, tag your shit.

I’m a cataloger (aka, super librarian), so access points are my jam. They are how people find the things they want in the huge pile of everything. People not tagging things makes me grumpy.  If it’s an AU, tag it as AU. If it’s a PWP, tag it as such!  Give me characters, relationships, genre, and so forth!   Give me some damn tags!  I want to be able to select or avoid things, let me do so!  Access points, people!

2. Summaries, aka, what this shit’s about.

Give me descriptions or an appropriate tease from the text. You don’t have to spell everything out, but this is your chance to convince me to read your story.

3. Formatting, aka, don’t make it look like unreadable shit.

If your fic is one big block of text I’m gonna NOPE. out of there so fast. Big blocks of text are hard enough on printed form, but most of us read our fics on a screen and our eyes just can’t handle big block of text on screen. There are too many fics out there for me to bother with yours if you make it hard for me to read.

Related to this, deal-breakers for other readers but not necessarily for me; grammar your shit. Keep your past/present consistent, check for typos and spelling errors, know when to break for a new paragraph and how to properly punctuate. If the plot/characterizations are good enough I’m willing to overlook bad grammar, but many will NOPE. out of a fic for poor grammar.

4. Those damn ‘this is shit’ author’s notes.

Other than big, unreadable blocks of text, the only other thing that makes me NOPE. out of a fic without reading is an author’s note with some sort of ‘this isn’t any good’ message. Because, my darlings, if YOU the author don’t think the fic is any good, than why should I bother reading it? I know that insecure author’s do it in a (sometimes subconscious, sometimes conscious) passive-aggressive way to get readers to reassure you that it’s isn’t crap, but really, it’s a passive-aggressive crap move. Don’t do it. Because as soon as you start a fic with a note telling me it’s crap, I’m hitting the Back button and moving on to the next fic.

Now following these steps aren’t going to guarantee you readers, but you’ll give readers a better chance at finding your fics and be less likely to chase readers away.  Aunty Li says!

Before you talk shit about another person, ask yourself these three things:

1) Is it true?
2) Is it positive?
3) Is it in anyway useful to the other person?

If you answered no to any of these questions, then shut the fuck up.

—  Girls, lets have each others backs.
I Don't Know You

I just got the phone handed to me by my father. I don’t know this woman, he didn’t even give me a name. It’s your auntie he said. WHICH AUNTY YOU KNOW I HAVE 1809284982398 OF THEM! Then the conversation goes just like this. Every. Time. Plus the connection is bad so half the time she can’t even hear what I’m saying. 

Auntie: How are you?

Me: Good how are you?

Auntie: That’s good.

Me: *laughs awkwardly*

Auntie: *chuckles*

Me: *breathes because I know if I hang up or give the phone back my dad will be pissed*

Auntie: So do you remember me?

Me: (because I’m feeling like a bad ass) Not really sorry Auntie

Auntie: Heh! You don’t remember me! I changed your diapers when you were not even 1 years old how do you not remember me! 

Me: *praises God internally that she can’t see me because I’m rolling my eyes so hard* Sorry Auntie. I guess it just slipped my mind. 

Auntie: That’s good.

Auntie: So when are you coming to visit me?

Me: (I don’t know where this woman lives) Man, I don’t know ask my dad. Haha haha.

Auntie: That’s good.

Auntie: How’s school?

Me: Good

Auntie: You betta study hard and get A’s so you can be doctor. Hehn Hehn

Me: yeah

Me: awkward silence

Auntie: awkward silence 

Me: So do you want to talk to my brother?

Auntie: That’s good.