aunt jemima's

The Greater Potion of F**k

My party, which I DM, has pulled massive shenanigans to get a potion which can do literally anything, and it’s effects are determined through 2 dice rolls and many other circumstantial things which I won’t get in to. So far, this potion has:
1) Turned trees in to chocolate
2) Turned a hawk inside out
3) Incinerated an old lady
And 4) Painted a house rainbow

The Dwarf Fighter of the party, who has 8 Int, keeps the potion. Here is the most comical thing to happen:

Dwarf(OOC): I want to feed the potion to the Blue Slaad servant to demonstrate to [Wizard]’s aunt Jemima what it does

DM (me): alright… *rolls a few dice*… huh… okay, the Slaad’s legs detach, like a doll, no blood, just pop off. His body stays suspended in the air, as the legs float up, relocating and reattaching on the top of his head. He falls to the floor with a loud thud, and you hear him start to gurgle out the words “Kill me…” ever so quietly.

The entire table then erupts in to raucous laughter for about 5 minutes with this image now in our heads.

I eagerly await more usage of this potion

Aunt Jemima, the face of the black mammy archetype, has held a prominent place within the imagination of the American public. Whites in particular aren’t drawn to the Aunt Jemima pancake mix because it contains a higher quality flour; rather, it is the image of Aunt Jemima, the devoted black servant that selflessly nourishes white families, which is deeply resonate, c. 1950s.

<i>We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.</i>

-Elf (2003)

the-lorass  asked:

PissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPissPssPissPissPissPissPissPissP

I want Donkey Kong 64 and only drinking that black girls lemonade and strictly putting Aunt Jemima on your faves better watch your wives ‘Cause Pete don’t care bc there’s science and technology the only true fact about you, doomybot? I just got my report card Looked at it, all F’s, took it to someone for being my friend together he is very good volleyball game, out of tumblr. ppl who think being ace or aro or demi doesn’t mean that I was very spook doomy. good nightmate fuel 12/10.

For some, Aunt Jemima evokes feelings of anger over a racial stereotype of a black woman with no apparent life of her own. But just who were the real Aunt Jemimas – those black cooks and chefs whose craft and skill did so much to define American cuisine?

“Their cookbooks, their efforts, their accomplishments, their love of the kitchen, their joy, their intelligence — all of that disappeared,” food writer Toni Tipton-Martin tells NPR. To find those missing men and women, Tipton-Martin turned to her collection of around 300 African-American cookbooks, dating back almost 200 years. Her new book is The Jemima Code: Two Centuries of African American Cookbooks.

Beyond ‘Aunt Jemima’: A Taste Of African-American Culinary Heritage

Confession

I feel mad/envious/jealous idk, when I look at media and see the representation for black men. I mean. They have all shades of black men represented. They use media, movies, and most importantly commercials and advertising to dissemble negative stereotypes about black men. Look at the Cheerio, Swifter Sweeper commercials how they are attempting to break the stereotype of deadbeat fathers for black men. But they rarely if ever do the same for us black women. When the black women is considered “beautiful” she is closest to looking white. They still put black women in these Mammy, Aunt Jemima roles. When we are in roles they are created by us. Hardly ever will they look to cast a real black women. Normal, beautiful, smart, like most of us are. Maybe that’s too much of a threat.

There is a part of me that feels black guys have acted like that one friend that acts like they don’t know u in front of the popular kids. Or are being accepted because they support white supremacy. They say “white girl are best”. Black men in Hollywood rarely have a black women on their arm. I look at how these black
men treat black women now and say disgusting things about us that a old white people would say. I can only imagine the things they would say while non black people are having a laugh at how uncivilized black people are, For some reason I don’t think they would stick up for us, I think they would defend themselves and say they aren’t like “those black people”.It seems to me that black men have attempted to distance themselves from us enough to be accepted the dominant society. (But still want to keep us in their pocket for things like black lives matter to support them)
This is just my theory on how it works.

SURPRISE!! You've been eating vegan food!!

Popular store foods that are actually vegan:
SmartBalance
Newmans light and Kraft creamy italian dressing
Jello pudding
Fritos
Oreos
Duncan Hines frosting and cake
Pillsbury crescent rolls
Ritz crackers
Doritos spicy chili
Sarah Lee apple pie
SuperPretzel soft pretzel
Hersheys chocolate syrup
Nabisco gram crackers
Thomas New York style bagels
Teddy Grams chocolate chip
Ghiradelli double chocolate brownie mix
Mission Foods taco shells
Aunt Jemima Pancake/Waffle Mix
Healthy Choice Asian Potstickers
Luigi’s Real Italian Ice
Smucker’s Uncrustables
Kool-aid
Lays Kettle Cooked chips

(Candy)
Airheads
Blow Pops
Cry Baby
Dots
Dum Dums
Hubba Bubba
Jolly Rancher
Now and Later
Skittles
Smarties
Sour Patch
Swedish Fish
Twizzlers

You have NO REASON AT ALL to say “vegan food is gross and weird” because I bet my butt most of yall out there eat oreos, Hersheys syrup and Smuckers uncrustables and Kool-aid and LOOK AT ALL THE CANDY.

y'all hate my hot mess
negro nose
afro bitch hoe
cornbread bitch
baby hair swag
black bone trick
———————————————
Bitch I’m

                        that mess
I’m   so possessive
with my negro


I did not come to play with you hoes
I came                                   bitch
with my negro hair
and negro nose
all this                 country

             ass
                      black
   I
          take what’s mine

For Betye Saar, there’s no dwelling on the past; the almost-90-year-old artist has too much future to think about

It began in 1972, with a breakthrough work titled “The Liberation of Aunt Jemima,” a small, shoe box-size assemblage in which she took a stereotypical mammy figurine — and armed her with a rifle and a grenade.

“It’s like they abolished slavery but they kept black people in the kitchen as mammy jars,” Saar says of what drove her to make the piece. “I had this Aunt Jemima, and I wanted to put a rifle and a grenade under her skirts. I wanted to empower her. I wanted to make her a warrior. I wanted people to know that black people wouldn’t be enslaved by that.”  

Over her career, Saar has quietly and firmly built a body of work that touches on the magical, the personal and the political — something she continues to do to this day.

anonymous asked:

If you're talking about real maple syrup and not like the Aunt Jemima stuff, that stuff is really expensive. It's more expensive than honey even at Walmart and cheaper grocery stores, not to mention that coupons for honey are more available than coupons for maple syrup. Not everyone can afford it.

Sweet syrups aren’t a necessary part of anyone’s diet. Simple sugar syrup, corn syrup, Aunt Jemima’s are all options if maple syrup is too expensive. Or, splurge on maple syrup and just eat less of it. I’m not saying anyone HAS to have maple syrup–just that it’s a good alternative to honey or agave.

real story

1 time I was taking a shower and wjen i went 2 wash my eyes with my soap ther was no soap butt instead syrup. Some1 replaced my soap with a fukkin entire Aunt Jemima., I kknew it waz genji becahse genjo hates showering. F u Gemsona Shirtmade

The signs as things my brother has said

Aries: I just shampooed my leg hairs. Aren’t they soft?

Taurus: My body is so tired but, like, my soul isn’t.

Gemini: I think a documentary on how they make straws would be more interesting than this movie.

Cancer: I like sharks, just not when they’re eating me.

Leo: Whenever I eat a salad I feel like a manatee.

Virgo: I sometimes like to think of myself as a young penguin.

Libra: I’d rather be a whole butt than just the asshole.

Scorpio: haters gonna hate, vacuums gonna vacuum.

Sagittarius: I need food. It gets the creative juices flowing.

Capricorn: Aunt Jemima would probably be a good warrior.

Aquarius: I used to follow sassy hedgehogs on twitter but they just got too sassy.

Pisces: I have an empty belly and a sad heart.

5

Today in gentrification: Melbourne hipsters pay tribute to a dead black artist by opening a Biggie Smalls themed fried chicken restaurant, ‘Notorious F.A.T’, complete with photoshopped mural of Biggie holding a fried chicken drumstick, Aunt Jemima wallpaper, and pictures of white families with guns. You cannot make this stuff up.

Pancake-Egg Breakfast Muffins

This is my go-to breakfast for workday mornings because I can have my breakfast made in advance, the muffins are filling and nutritious, and they’re good hot or cold.  

Ingredients:

  • pancake mix + usual necessary additions (egg, oil, milk)
  • 8 large eggs scrambled OR 12 small eggs, whole
  • Optional: shredded cheese, chopped peppers, diced breakfast meat 
  • Feeling indulgent? stir some maple syrup into your pancake batter or line each muffin cup with a strip of bacon

Instructions:

  1. Mix up your pancake batter. I use Aunt Jemima pancake mix, and one recipe makes enough for exactly 12 muffins. 
  2. Spoon two tablespoons of batter into each muffin cup
  3. Bake at 350 Fahrenheit (177 C) for 5 minutes, or until pancake is set but not browned
  4. Pour your scrambled eggs on top of the pancake until each cup is mostly full OR crack one small egg into each cup
  5. Top with your choice of toppings (I suggest red pepper and cheddar cheese)
  6. Bake at 400 Fahrenheit (204 C) for 15 minutes or until browned and firm
  7. Pop out immediately and cool on a wire rack (otherwise they’ll stick to the pan and/or paper)

The whole cooking process takes less than half an hour, and two of these muffins are the equivalent of a full breakfast: two eggs, three pancakes, and whatever vegis or meat you choose to throw in. I usually make these on Sunday, and then pop two in the microwave each morning to eat on my commute.