Periods Aren’t That Bad. They’re Actually A Whole Lot Worse: A Lesson For Non-Period-Havers
Disclaimer 1: This will probably get a little NSFW.
Disclaimer 2: Symptoms of periods vary from period-haver to period-haver. It pretty much sucks for everyone, though.
Disclaimer 3: I have a high pain tolerance. Really high. If I say something is really painful, it is really fucking painful.
And now for the reasons why having periods suck and it’s worse for us to have it than for you to hear about it:
- There is blood coming from our vaginas. This is a very unpleasant feeling. We cannot “hold it.” Some people get a light trickling. Some, like me, get a Goddamn crime scene.
- The ways to keep from bleeding all over everything include a pad, which basically feels like a diaper, and a tampon, which is basically shoving a cotton pipe up there, is not as much fun as it sounds, and can be very uncomfortable if done wrong. And doing it right is fairly hard. Thanks to good old Catholic sex ed, it took me about five years to figure out.
- Cramps. I am lucky in that my cramps tend not to be THAT bad (thank you, high pain tolerance), but some get cramps so bad that the pain is comparable to appendicitis.
- Headaches. What I lack in cramps, I often make up for in headaches. And not just any headaches. Agonizing headaches. They can start up to a week before the bleeding starts, they last a few days into it, and they don’t go away. No matter how much aspirin you take. Seriously, when I get menstrual headaches, I could down an entire fucking bottle of Advil and I’d probably die but my ghost would still have the headache.
- Acne. I’m talking looking like Deadpool under the mask.
- Indigestion. It isn’t fun.
- Sometimes my actual vaginal region hurts. A lot. Enough to have me doubled over on the floor.
- For some reason my anxiety gets worse sometimes around my period. Which is extra fun. There’s nothing like nearly calling the morgue because your dad was late from a basketball game, only to find out he was at Applebee’s.
- Fatigue. Because I’m doing everything I normally do while my body is staging a mutiny.
- Just generally feeling disgusting.
- This goes on for a week.
- This happens every Goddamn month.
- This generally starts around age twelve or so and lasts until maybe age 45.