auda

Au fost lucruri pe care dorea sa le auda si oameni pe care voia sa-i intalneasca, locuri pe care voia sa le viziteze si persoane pe care incerca sa nu le dezamageasca. Isi dorea atat de mult sa traiasca dar in acelasi timp sa moara, asta a facut-o sa devina instabila emotional. Uneori, ambitia ei de a supravietui era atat de puternica..avea ‘destinatii’ la care trebuia sa ajunga si lucruri pe care isi propusese sa le obtina. Isi dorea sa schimbe lumea, sa o salveze dar nu se putea salva nici macar pe ea. Ducea o lupta crancena in fiecare zi pentru fericirea ei incercand sa nu-si mai inece amarul in alcool si droguri. Incerca 'sa nu mai fie suparata’, asa cum ii spuneau toti..dar nu ea a ales sa fie asa. Ar fi dat orice sa schimbe asta. Isi pierduse stralucirea, energia si pofta de viata. Era criticata si ranita de cei din jurul ei aproape la fel de mult pe cat se ranea singura. Inima ei se sfarama incet dar sigur, moralul ii era la pamant iar puterea ei se diminua rapid. Mergea la tratament dar nu era indeajuns, deja erau adunate prea multe lucruri ce nu o lasau sa puna capul pe perna seara. Era doar ea contra gandurilor ei iar cineva tot trebuie sa castige in final. Nu i a ramas altceva decat sa lupte..si o va face pana la final in speranta ca va razbate.
Cine ar fi crezut ca lupta cu tine insuti este cea mai grea dintre toate? “Ea” sunt de fapt, EU.
—  Deny Drogzz

anonymous asked:

Ce sa fac daca m-a blocat pe toate retelele si nu vrea sa auda de mine? Intr-o cearta stupida, i-am zis ca nu mi-a pasat de el si s-a suparat si a zis ca s-a terminat intre noi si m-a blocat. I-am trimis si mesaje pe telefon si nu raspunde.. A trecut o saptamana deja..

Felicitări, ai pierdut o persoană definitiv. Cum să fii surprinsă că ești tratată așa dacă pe tine te-a durut unde nu ajunge lumina?
Unii din voi ziceți niște lucruri halucinante la nervi numai ca să ieșiți în câștig pe acea ceartă, așa ca să nu aveți orgoliul rănit.
Plimbați-vă, faceți altceva când sunteți nervoși, căci având o mândrie d-asta dincolo de limita penibilului vă va face să pierdeți persoane dragi și să atrageți persoane false. Și când dați de persoane false, după vă întrebați unde sunt persoanele alea bune de dinainte…

#LT

Case File #288.

File Date: September 16, 1870

There are few within the ranks of the Watchers who do not, by now, know the name Carmilla.

Born Mircalla Karnstein in the Styria region of Austria, as the daughter of a count Carmilla lived a charmed life, given everything and wanting nothing. And yet, her status could not save her from the wiles of an unknown vampire, who killed and sired Mircalla at the age of eighteen. Now calling herself Carmilla, the newly-risen vampire joined a nest, whereupon she rose through their ranks as a favoured, cunning and cultured sister.

In the winter of 1698, the nest went too far in their predations in Styria, drawing the attention of the Slayer of the day, Auda Vordenburg, from Germany. Vordenburg, like Carmilla, descended from nobility, and like her prey she too had been called to a life of violence against her will. Yet such are the forces at work in this world, inexorably drawing Auda and Carmilla together. In the end, the nest was annihilated, with Auda dying in the last grand battle in the village of Karnstein, destroying much of the town in the process. It was assumed by Auda’s Watcher that Carmilla had died as well, writing it as satisfying fact in the last entry of his diary. He was wrong.

In 1761, Carmilla was spotted in Brittany, but she eluded demon hunters in the region, including the much-feared Daniel Holtz. She faded from sight once more, disappearing for nearly a century and once again assumed to be no more than dust. Again, we were wrong.

Carmilla reappeared in her long-ago home of Styria in the summer of 1860. Some of the details are of a sort too sordid to parse here in our hallowed archives, but suffice to say that Carmilla had her way with the maiden daughter of a retired Englishman, called here LH and SH to protect the family’s honor.

It was rumored that LH had precognitive visions of the following events, though some Watchers have supposed this to be a fanciful accounting by second-hand witnesses, possibly inspired by tales of the famed vampire Drusilla (conflating assailant and victim). Regardless, LH was clearly chosen as a new favourite by Carmilla. Befouling LH’s mind, and later, body, Carmilla befriended the girl under the most false of pretenses, even managing to fool SH into taking her into their household as a temporary ward.

Carmilla’s deranged merriment came to an end by way of a certain Austrian general, Spielsdorf. The General was supposed to bring his niece, Bertha Rheinfeldt, to visit SH some time earlier, but was delayed when Bertha fell ill from blood loss. Spielsdorf discovered a friend of Bertha’s, named Millarca, in her bedchamber.

Suspecting the worst, the General chased “Millarca” from his home with his sword, but Bertha died moments later. Soon, SH and the General endevoured to make an investigation of their own, but accomplished little until an acquaintance of SH’s contacted our Council.

The Slayer at the time, Malika Khayyam, was dispatched along with her Watcher, the preeminent Dr. Hesselius. General Spielsdorf foolishly insisted on accompanying the pair, following them to the village of Karnstein, where Carmilla had battled another Slayer so many years earlier. At the entrance to the ruined town, they were surprised by Baron Achille Vordenburg, the descendant of the Slayer, Auda, and keeper of his ancestor’s secrets. The quartet confronted Carmilla together, certain in their number of victory.

They found the vampire alone inside an old chapel, bereft at the loss of LH, who’d been spirited far away to Italy by her father. Despondent though she was, Carmilla resisted mightily, hacking off Spielsdorf’s head with his own axe and mortally wounding Vordenburg as well. Through their combined efforts, however, Carmilla was staked through the back, then felled by a sword to the throat, all but severing her head. In the chaos, the chapel was set ablaze, and Dr. Hesselius and Malika left the vampire to burn.

Somehow, Hesselius’s diary was taken from our archives and fell into the hands of a ridiculous author named Sheridan Le Fanu. With some effort, we have returned the diary to our care, yet not soon enough to prevent Le Fanu from exploiting what he believed to be fanciful writings for his own gain. In what amounts to little more than a heftier penny dreadful, Le Fanu exposed for all and sundry the sordid tale of Carmilla. Thankfully, through Le Fanu’s presumptive deviations from the tale and the fact that Carmilla is finally dead, we can at last lay this matter to rest.

Addendum, fd.1999: It would seem that our own presumptions got the best of our number yet again. Myriad reports in the last year have placed Carmilla in, implausibly, Styria yet again, and perhaps more believably, Canada. Time will tell if this beast will truly rear her ugly head once more, but we should not count Carmilla among the dead just yet.

E in regula,mi-a spus…
E in regula daca esti atat de ocupat incat nu ai opt ore disponibile,ca sa te poti odihni ca tot omul.
E in regula daca te dor picioarele de la atatea alergaturi dintr-un capat in celalat al orasului.
E in regula daca nu iti ajunge timpul pentru invatat.
E in regula daca nu iti mai simti ochii de somn.
E in regula sa vrei sa te arunci intr-un pat si sa nu te mai ridici de acolo pana luna viitoare.
E in regula daca te pierzi,daca uiti lucruri pe care le stii.
E in regula daca gresesti cateodata,mai mereu.
E in regula sa fii trist,descurajat si plictisit.
E in regula sa te certi cu parintii,sa le spui lucruri urate,pe care ei nu merita sa le auda.
E in regula sa simti cum iti pulseaza sangele in vene cand cineva te enerveaza.
E in regula sa protestezi,atunci cand nu esti de acord cu ceva anume.
E in regula daca esti tupeist si spui ceea ce gandesti,chiar daca deranjeaza pe altii.
E in regula daca nu simti nimic,daca nu ai pe nimeni care sa te iubeasca.
E in regula daca nu stii ce vrei.
E in regula daca pierzi oameni,
E in regula…totul e in regula.
Mi-a spus totul dintr-o suflare si m-a ridicat din noroi.Mi-a spus totul,dar nu stiu daca a crezut ceea ce spune.
—  19augustanonimat
Toti imi cunosc partea optimista, toti imi cunosc zambetul, toti imi cunosc rasul… dar cine stie cum suna lacrimile mele, cine stie cum se aud gandurile in mintea mea, cine stie cum ma simt in interior… Nimeni, nu am lasat pe nimeni sa auda toate astea, nu am lasat pe nimeni chiar atat de aproape, nici macar pe tine (nici tu nu ai habar cand plang, de ce plang, nici tu nu sti cum gandesc, nici tu nu ma cunosti). Ei ma stiu drept cea care vede partea buna, care cauta mereu motive pentru care merita sa fii fericit, cea care incearca sa ii faca pe toti sa renunte la ganduri si obiceiuri daunatoare, dar ei ma cred mai buna decat sunt, ei nu au habar de cate ori m-am chinuit sa caut un motiv sa nu fac ceva prostesc, ei nu stiu in cate lacrimi se scalda zambetul meu, ei nu ma cunosc, nu au facut-o si nimeni nu mi-a aratat ca ar fi interesat…

Toata viata mi-au spus
Cat de departe nu pot ajunge
Dar in interior bestia tot creste
Asteptand, mestecand funiile

Cine esti tu sa schimbi lumea?
Copil prostut!
Nimeni nu vrea sa te auda.
Las-o balta.

Nu vi sa ma mananci?
Ia tot ceea ce sunt.
Arde-l de tot.
Poti veni sa ma schimbi?
Ia tot ceea ce sunt.
Tot ceea ce sunt.

Am sa ma ascund
Voi fi ce vrei sa fiu
Dar in interior nu renunt
Pana cand nu voi arde necontrolat.

Fa-ma sa cad. Fa-ma sa sangerez
Hai incearca sa ma schimbi!
Ia tot ceea ce sunt.
Tot ceea ce sunt.

Niciodata indeajuns
(Cine sunt nu e de ajuns)
Niciodata indeajuns
(Cine sunt)

fiend--club  asked:

recién supe la existencia de su tumblr y déjeme decirle que dibuja hermosos<3

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

¡A-ay!, gracias, hago lo mejor que puedo para no ser tan fail</3; ay mi amor que ternura eres por darte el tiempo para decir esto<33; un encanto darte la bienvenida a este tumblr y espero verte mas seguido por mis asks, si quiere dibujito me avisa no mas, corazon (*´▽`*)