au meme mine

alien emoji rating

I really like aliens so I’ll go ahead and rate my little boys

Apple:

He looks cute and kind of nice, this shows that aliens do come in piece, the gradient effect gives a 3 D  S P A C E  P I N B A L L feel which is a nice touch. 4/5. He’s really nice, someone give him live stock for his planet.

Goolge:

I’m not sure Google is aware of the popular conception of aliens, but maybe they know something we don’t???? The colors are flat, something that in most cases is not bad, but this time it is, he seeks intelligent life yet he looks as he has no life at all. 1/5.

Microsoft:

He’s conventionally attractive and happy for some reaon, I’d let him make patterns in my crops, the T H I C C lines are not the best idea but the glow in his eyes are perfect. Not the best desing choices but I can deal with it. 3/5.

Samsung:

Isn’t this the most visually pleasing gradient ever made by human kind? But not for this guy, he looks like he’s dying cuz can’t breath our oxygen, poor fellow, also his face looks strange, he might as well be Mr. Burns. 3/5. Looks really smug and I bet this kid thinks he’s the smartest guy in the class.

LG:

Straight out of the uncanny valley, the face you’d expect to see from a badly written creepypasta edited over an old photo that’s supposed to possess you, looks scary, creepy and offsetting but not in the nice way aliens are supposed to look. Please deport him to his planet. 0/5. Save your children from LG cellphones.

HTC:

Look at this guy, like LOOK at This gUY!! His cute smile, this lime boy looks so mischievous, probably on space Santa’s naughty children list. The lines, the colors and the E D G E S are so pleasing to the eyes. 5/5. I’d let this guy invade my planet any day and eradicate all sentient matter without hesitation.

Facebook:

He’s scary, creepy and offsetting in the nice way aliens are supposed to be, the soulless eyes and the grey color blend so nice together making him intimidating and also hypnotizing. 5/5. Please take me away with you and use me as a guinea pig for your nefastus plots. 

Messenger:

The colors looks like he’s from a flash animation and his face of utter disgust makes him unpleasant, I’ll take him with my leader because I don’t wanna deal with him. 3/5. You might be ugly, but you’re the designated emoji for most of my chats.

Twitter:

He’s minimalistic and cute, this grey buddy is my friend, please hug him and treat him nicely, he just want diplomatic relations with our planet, give him love and natural resources, he deserves them. 4/5.

Mozilla:

This guy is not an alien, he’s a light outlet. He’s nice and is probably that one cousin they sit with you on family gatherings, not because you get along, but because they want you to keep him from doing something stupid like breaking a bowl or causing a nuclear holocaust. 2/5. Sorry Kyle, I’m not your baby sister.

After Party | NSFW

Summary: After Tom’s win at the award show, you decide to surprise him with some fun in the hotel room.

Characters: Reader x Tom Holland

Warnings: Smut, cursing, NSFW

Word Count: 1,544

A/N: NSFW! Only read if you’re 18+! This is my first time writing something like this, so be nice. I’m also not experienced at all, so please no hard critics or anything. I am terrified to post this in the first place. Just no negative words, please.


You were excited for your boyfriend, Tom, who just won the BAFTA Rising Star award. You recalled the long days of just sitting at a computer for a few hours to vote for him over and over. He wanted this award so badly. You couldn’t help but smile as he accepted his award on stage. You looked over to your right and saw his mom beaming with joy as she admired her son from afar.

You knew that at the end of the night there was going to be a lot of press interviews and the after party. However, after parties weren’t your thing and you knew that Tom’s mom and Harrison would be there to watch out for him as he would drink the night away. When Tom was done with the press interviews, he returned to his seat next to you with his award. You immediately kissed him on his lips and congratulated him on his win. He passed the award to you and you looked at it with his name freshly engraved at the bottom.

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Undone | NSFW

*READ A/N BEFORE READING*

Summary: He had rules. You never questioned them, until he disobeyed his own rules. This is the time where you both undid each other.

Characters: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, sug*r da*dy/s*gar b*by relationship, smut, light bondage

Word Count: 1,605

A/N: Okay, first, only read if you’re 18+! This is NSFW! Secondly, yes this lightly describes a sug*r da*dy/s*gar b*by relationship (I’m censoring this to keep it out of those tags). I just got inspired. This does not reflect Tom in any way possible. It’s fiction. Lastly, I decided to never mention Tom’s name in the story because I thought it would add a mysterious tone. Other than that, enjoy.


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Favourite outfits on Calum: Grey long sleeve

Bonus: