spice up those coffee shop AUs
  • sure, i used to be a regular, but i literally haven’t been to this coffee shop in two years. how do you still remember my order??
  • you wrote my name down wrong the first time i came here and i didn’t correct you, but you’re really sweet and now i don’t know how to tell you you’ve been calling me by the wrong name for the past month.
  • i’m the manager and one of the other employees keeps drawing amazing art on the chalkboards, but i can’t figure out who it is?? i’ve been keeping a meticulous schedule to figure out whose shift it appears during
  • i work opening shift, but whenever i get there at 5:30 somehow you’re always already there, looking flawlessly put together. you haven’t even had your coffee yet. tell me your secrets.
  • we’re coworkers but we work different shifts and communicate exclusively through post-it notes. maybe i should just give you my phone number already so you can tell me more about the lady who ordered a latte for her ten year old.
  • you and your friend always sit at the table a couple down from mine and gossip in [insert language here], which happens to be a language i’m currently learning. i’ve been eavesdropping to try and improve my listening comprehension and oh my god are you actually talking about how hot i am??? 
  • i love hot chocolate So Much but it’s embarrassing to be the adult ordering hot chocolate at a coffee shop, so do you think you could announce that it’s a different drink when you’re giving it to me??
  • at the local coffee shop, there’s a chess set set up in one corner of the shop and every morning i move one piece. later in the day, someone else always moves a piece too. i’m dying to know who i’m playing against.
  • i’m a new hire and you’re trying to show me how to use the espresso machine. i actually already know how to use it, but i’m pretending to be incompetent so that you’ll keep talking to me. please don’t fire me.
Surprise!

Muse A attempts to do something nice and surprise their friend, Muse B, when they get home from work. Muse B lives alone. Muse A manages to sneak in and hides just out of sight, not knowing that Muse B strips completely naked right after getting in, and proceeds to continue about their evening just like that.

Alternate Idea: Muse A isn’t a friend, but a thief / kidnapper / murderer / criminal.

Alternate Idea 2: It’s a surprise party with a ton of hidden guests.

             REIGN OF HEARTS: AN AU ROLEPLAY PROJECT

                                         CURRENT STORY PREMISE | ASK AWAY! 

Hi ho hi ho! Helios here! You know how I love to make AUs by the dozens all the time, right? Well, this is an AU I’d like EVERYONE to be a part of! This AU was once an AU for the Dragon Ball Z series that I had when I was 16, but now I’ve adapted it to fit any and all – hell, OCs are more than welcome!

I. GENERAL STORY PREMISE

The story revolves around a universal thing known as the Final Weapon – it appears anywhere (where civilization is present), at any time, to anyone (regardless of whether or not they’re good or bad). It rarely appears to one single civilization more than once; even if it does, or if it chooses to stay for a little longer, it has little significance (but it does allow people to understand the Weapon a little better – documentation about it has been very scarce). Only one person knows what it is, and its nature – but that is a thing I’m keeping to myself until later.

II. CURRENT STORY PREMISE & RULES

I’m currently looking for anyone interested to join this premise! You can read the premise at the link above, and if you need any info, just ask me! Here’s the criteria:

1. You need to be rping a Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts character, or are rping an OC (fandomless or within the FF/KH fandom). 

2. Only one character per person! Bear in mind this is going to be on a first come, first serve basis. Reserves are welcome. 

3. You don’t need to make a brand new blog; just add this AU into your verses list and you’re good to go!

4. I am currently looking for the following muses:

  • Terra (super important, he’s central to the current premise!)
  • Aqua
  • Marluxia
  • Ansem (Xehanort) – you’re…basically going to be dad to Xemnas and Terra
  • Eraqus
  • Ansem the Wise

III. MISC INFO

Q: “Can I use this AU in my RP?” 

Sure! Just please credit me as the original creator (it is a pet project of mine that I’m planning to make into a comic or something soon)! Either way, do feel free to use the general premise to start your own thing like this! 

Q: “Why allow others to use it when it’s your idea?”

I LOVE sharing ideas. An idea doesn’t really go anywhere unless someone makes something out of it. All I’m sharing is its general framework; there’s really no limit as to what you can do with that framework.

Q: “This thing sucks.”

k

IV. Please do feel free to ask me for more info!! And would love to hear from you soon!

Job AUs

Part 1 | Part 2

General

  • ‘Hey bastard this store is already closed oh wait you’re hot never mind please do come in’ AU
  • 'I’m on the verge of tears because of a rude customer and you step in and stand up for me’ AU
  • ‘I can feel you silently judging me as you ring up my purchases I swear I’m not using these for their intended purpose’ au
  • ‘Why does this cost TEN DOLLARS THIS IS AN OUTRAGE’ AU

Hairdresser AU

  • ‘You’re my regular customer and I’m in love with the feel of your hair’ AU
  • “Rumor has it that you’re a hairdresser with magic fingers and you can fix any bad hair day so that’s why I’m here’ AU

Gift store AU

  • 'Why the fuck are you choosing that for a gift to your crush’ AU
  • ‘You walk in and offer to pay me to wrap your gifts’ AU


Florist AU

  • ‘I work as a florist and every day you walk in, buy one flower and give it to me’ AU
  • ‘I work part-time in a flower shop and you keep asking me about what this flower means in flower language and I honestly don’t know so you end up giving me a lesson’ AU


Jewellery shop AU

  • 'You walk in and ask for the most expensive piece are you loaded to the gills what the fuck man’ AU
  • ‘I’m the employee and this is the first time ever I’ve met you but you buy me a necklace saying the gem compliments my eyes’ AU

Coffee Shop AU

  • I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’ AU
  • 'You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly horrible ways’ AU
  • 'You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something’ AU
  • 'Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking in’ AU


Bakery AU

  • 'Your love of strawberry shortcake really doesn’t match your appearance but i still think that’s really cute’ AU
  • 'Every morning you walk in and inhale deeply then walk back out seriously just buy something already’ AU 


Drug Store/Chemist AU

  • 'You embarrassedly place your items into the counter so I call a price check just to make you feel more awkward, but it turns out one of your items were actually overpriced’ AU


Bartender AU

  • 'You’re the bartender and you catch someone slipping something into my drink’ AU
  • ‘I ask you to concoct something from all the ingredients on the list i gave you and it ends up tasting so horrible and wrong that i can’t stop laughing’ AU


Teacher AU

  • We’re both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from students and you’ve won for the past three years’ AU
  • 'Romeo and Juliet of the math and english dept. in school’ AU

Writer AU

  • I’m a writer and when it gets close to my deadlines I neglect taking care of myself so you’ll pop in my house every so often to make sure I’m doing okay’ AU


Fast food Chain AU

  • ‘You just ordered a smile and I look at you like you’re batshit insane before bursting out into laughter’ AU
  • ‘You’re an employee and I have a crush on you so when you hand me the soft serve I accidentally grab it by the ice cream instead of the cone’ AU
  • ‘We have a free refill policy for soft drink and you’ve prepared several empty bottles what the fuck’ AU

Corner Shop AU

  • ‘I see you come in here every day to buy the same drink and one day I leave a message on the bottle’ AU
  • ‘You run in looking really panicked and you ask for 6 gallons of milk why’ AU

 

Restaurant AU

  • ‘You’re a famous critique and I’m a server and I get so nervous that I trip and spill the dish all over you’ AU
  • ‘You’ve always been a good cook so I encouraged your start your own restaurant and seven years down the track you own one of the most successful businesses’ AU

Idol/Manger AU

  • ‘I’m your manager and holy shit you have crazy fans’ AU
  • ‘You’re an idol and you got the lead role in a romance drama and you practice at my expense’ AU
  • ‘Can you please act appropriately do you know just how many of your fuck ups I’ve had to cover up last week’ AU 


Firefighter AU

  • ‘You’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ AU
  • No that’s impossible how the fuck did you manage to get it to catch fire?!” AU

Sex Line Operator AU

  • ‘I called you because I was curious and wow you have a very soothing voice can you please sing me to sleep’ AU
  • ‘I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour’s’ AU

And Finally:

  • You’re a drug lord and I think I’ve just walked into your drug den’ AU

sorry not sorry

AUs

Here are some aus, divided in different themes.

College themed

  1. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  2. My roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  3. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  4. You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay
  5. My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  6. It’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
  7. I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
  8. Accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  9. Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider
  10. Somehow, we always end up sitting next to each other during the weekly gatherings to watch [Game of Thrones, SVU, Rupaul’s Drag Race, pick a show] in our dorm’s really good TV room 
  11. I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly

Awkward first meeting themed

  1. “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry!”
  2. “I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
  3. “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”
  4. Trapped in a bank during a robbery 
  5. “I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night”
  6. “Last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us”
  7. “You found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life”
  8. ‘you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you’re really hot so i just went with it and now we’re heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you’
  9. ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’
  10. ‘i’ve had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i’m so sorry’
  11. “I ordered pizza but the pizzeria got my order wrong so now I’m screaming at my really cute pizza delivery boy because I’m angry and very hungry”

Nobility themed

  1. “your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it”
  2. “we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice”
  3. “i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways”

Opposites attract themed

  1. a hopeless romantic and a single-but-proud meet at a store on valentine’s day. the latter is buying valentine cards ironically, the former buying them sincerely in hopes of getting a date
  2. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park
  3. rebellious teenager who’s failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor
  4. really distinguished food critic and fast food chef
  5. a hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date

High school themed

  1. “We’re the only ones in detention”
  2. “I desperately need my books but my locker is blocked and you’re the only one in the hall”
  3. “Someone wrote I’m cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting”
  4. “I twisted my ankle and you’re the only one here strong enough to carry me to the nurse’s office but we’re both really awkward”
  5. “We were both left out when everyone was picking partners and now we always choose each other when we have classes together”
  6. “I lent you my cool pencil months ago and you still use it”
  7. “I accidentally took your notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting and cute doodles”
  8. “You started sitting by me at lunch because I’m alone at my table but we never talk to each other”
  9. “I was really hungry but had no money and you bought me lunch even though I don’t know you”
  10. “I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are”
  11. “I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn’t complain and made breakfast for the both of us”
  12. sharing a textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners
  13. found their phone number in a library book
  14. dancing partners
  15. younger siblings are best friends
  16. playing romantic interests in a play
  17. “yes i understand that it’s may and this classroom is stuffy but why are you taking your shirt off and why aren’t you in trouble (not that i mind)”
  18. “i can’t believe you dropped the frog we’re dissecting on tHE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK”
  19. “i’m fightin this person and they shoved me into u im sooo sorry- oh hey you’re cute- oH MY GOD UR KICKIN ASS MARRY ME!!! PLEASE!!!!”
  20. “you asked me to prom by filling my locker with ping pong balls that say “prom?” on them but i tripped on one and smacked my head on a locker but thanks for taking me to the nurse!!! i still want to go with you!!”

Ridicously sentence themed

  1. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 
  2. "Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
  3. “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”
  4. “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
  5. “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 
  6. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
  7. “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
  8. “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
  9. “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Height difference themed

  1. “I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”
  2. “You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”
  3. “We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”
  4. “You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”
  5. I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”
  6. “We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 
  7. “You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

Reincarnation themed

  1. I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friend’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life
  2. We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

Mythical creatures themed

  1. “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn”
  2. “i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO”
  3. “i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class”

Funny meeting at a party themed

  1. “i was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me”
  2. “spilled my drink down your shirt and then tried to drink it off you”
  3. “we had an impromptu rap duet in the middle of the party”
  4. “you kept asking everyone to play the cha cha slide then proceeded to pass out when the song started”
  5. “you keep shouting “THIS IS MY JAM” at every song that comes on i have a headache the size of nebraska you’re lucky you’re cute”
  6. “whenever you saw me you’d shout ‘WHOOOOOOOOO’ really loudly and then do finger guns at me before walking off to god knows where”
  7. “you thought I was your friend and pulled me up on the table to dance with you now you’re shirtless and grinding on me”
  8. “you got up to the mic and started singing and holy shit you’re really good???”
  9. “you’re really bad at beer pong but you do this really cute dance before you throw the ball so I’m letting you stay on my team”
  10. “our mutual friend dared the two of us to chug a whole pint of beer and I’m not going to let you beat me”
  11. “we both grabbed for the last bottle of the good beer and i’m not saying we’re going to fight for it but we are”

Competitive themed

  1. we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
  2. I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
  3. a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
  4. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
  5. we’re always making stupid bets like 'bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
  6. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

“We’re bad at dating” themed

  1. I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  2. I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  3. We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  4. We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  5. We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  6. You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
some more aus
  • “okay buddy you’ve been serenading the wrong window for about five minutes now, time to let you know my neighbor is out of town” au
  • “you hired me to be the surprise stripper for your friend at this bachelor/bachelorette party and they did not take it well and threw both of us out in the freezing cold this is all your fault” au
  • “i’m the superhero’s sidekick and you’re the super villian but i don’t know that and we both met on an online dating website and you look really familiar?” au
  • “you’re a stress baker and i stay up too late working and i’m writing a thank you note to the ethereal being responsible for the food magically appearing in the common room” au
  • “it’s autumn and we’re both picking pumpkins upstate but you picked one that’s bigger than you are and it looks like you’re struggling oh god do you need help???” au
  • “you were trying to make a snow angel but the snow is too deep and you can’t get back up and i’m trying to decide whether to keep laughing at you or help you” au
  • “i’m a figure skater who’s trying to practice and you took your baby cousins out to the rink but none of you can skate do you need help??” au
  • “you’re supposed to be on a blind date with someone but you sat down at the wrong table and i haven’t been able to get a word in edgewise to tell you that and it’s been thirty minutes” au 

alright but why does no one write colorblind character AUs??? 

(note: i am not colorblind, a friend of mine who is was just telling me about some of the shit that’s happened to him)

  • you accidentally took my bag instead of yours and i don’t know your name so i yelled “YOU IN THE YELLOW SHIRT” but you didn’t respond so i yelled “HEY ASSHOLE” when i finally caught up with you… and apparently your shirt is red??
  • we’re doing a lab in chemistry with the “flame test” where you set an element on fire and we’re supposed to record what color the flame is, but i have no fucking clue what color it’s supposed to be so i’m copying your answers and now you think i’m trying to cheat
  • i thought this tomato was ripe but it’s actually green and you saw me take a bite out of it and whispered “hardcore”
  • if you ask me “what color is this” one more time i’m going to punch you out don’t think i won’t
  • did you know i can’t be a police officer in certain states??? like what the fuck i will fight the system and become a police officer goddamn it, my partner can record that the perp’s shirt was fucking purple
  • you’re too polite to tell me that the colors of my outfit clash horribly but the jokes on you because i actually know what colors they’re supposed to be (because there’s an app for that!) and i just like making your eyes bleed
random aus & prompts to consider
  • we pulled an all nighter trying to play monopoly and i think i may have confessed some weird shit
  • i got so emotional during that movie that i didn’t notice i was gripping your hand i’m so sorry
  • your the lead in the play and im just the person painting the backdrops but role is hilarious and i have to stop myself from watching and laughing at you
  • this is some fifteen hour flight to goddamn australia and there is a very cute flight attendant on this plane
  • we’re in an orchestra and you’re a strings whilst i play brass and i think we both take our rivalries too seriously
  • we’re the leading actors in a play/movie/show and during my performance i accidentally punched you in the face and i really hope i didnt wreck that gorgeous face of yours
  • we’re in a class and i sit behind and all you ever do during the lessons is watch cat videos and youtube and it’s extremely distracting
more au ideas no one asked for
  • “you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die” au
  • “i’m a biker and one day i was biking in your neighborhood while you just happened to be outside watering the plants and since you’re so goddamn cute i accidentally steered into a pole and now you’re giving me first aid (holy shit you’re even cuter up close)” au
    • “you’re biking through my neighborhood and you ran into a pole so now i’m really concerned and patching you up, oh my gosh you’re really hot even though you have a bloody nose” au
  • “i’m at a karaoke bar and i’m sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh shit” au
  • “you fell asleep on my shoulder on the plane ride and i would ask you to move but you look so comfy and adorable when you sleep. also you smell really good and the feeling of your breath on my skin is somewhat relaxing, maybe we can go out to lunch in this shitty airport when you wake up?” au
  • “you’re so perfect and i’m in love with you but i’ve never actually met you and you keep avoiding meeting up, so i called nev and max to help me figure out whether or not you’re catfishing me” au
    • “whoa it turns out you were actually just super shy and you’re even cuter in person pls kiss me in front of all these cameras” au to followup with that
  • “i’m a quiktrip worker and whenever I work a night shift, you always arrive and buy like 3 cans of redbull and you look exhausted, do you need some help? are you okay?” au
  • “you invited me to your brother’s/sister’s wedding as a plus one bc we’re hella best friends but we end up making out at the afterparty and now everyone thinks we’re fucking so uh,, u wanna go out for a drink sometime? try this whole couple thing out?” au
  • “my sister tried to set me up with her friend but little does she know that i am hella gay and i end up falling in love with her smoking hot brother, and whenever i hang at her place we always tell my sister that it’s for a date when really she’s now just trying to set me up with her brother” au
    • (this can be tweaked in any way to fit your otp :p)
  • “i’m one of those talk show stars that walks up to random people on the streets and asks them really obscure questions, and you’re really cute and camera shy and i’m sorry but it’s adorable how you stutter when you’re nervous, uh, perhaps when there aren’t so many cameras surrounding me i can buy you a drink?” au
    • “you just came up to me on the street and asked where the weirdest place i had sex was and i’m assuming it’s for one of those talk show things, but i’m really nervous because you’re really really hot in that suit holy shit” au
  • “will you stop flirting with me you just got seriously injured and i’m the EMT trying to tend to your wounds in the ambulance, i don’t give a fuck that i look cute when i’m concerned, you’re lucky you’re not dead you dipshit” au
  • “my mom/sister/dad/brother/best friend doesn’t know we’re dating but one day he/she/they walked in on us making out and started cheering oh my god this is so embarrassing i’m so sorry” au
  • “you have fire powers and i have ice powers and one day you save my ass and even though we’re supposed to be rivals, you’re actually really really cute and warm can i just stay in your arms forever bc i am perpetually cold” au
    • “you have ice powers and i have fire powers and i save your sorry ass from getting hurt/killed, okay i know we’re supposed to be rivals according to every legend ever but you’re adorable and wow you’re really cold, would you like me to warm you up?” au
  • “i’m so sorry i’ve been stowing away on your ship but i’m lonely and tired and starving with nowhere to go so please take pity on my poor soul bc you’re the sweetest pirate i have ever met and since we’re in the middle of the ocean now there’s no way you’re taking me back to land anytime soon” au
    • “i would be furious at you for stowing away on my ship if it weren’t for the fact that you look really sick and sad can i help you” au
  • “dude why did that siren take on my image to try and seduce you, is there something you wanna tell me” au
  • “I’m an elf with really bad aim so while hunting i accidentally shot you in the shoulder with an arrow i’m so sorry can i make it up to you in any way? oh shit you’re a wizard, please don’t turn me into a frog i’ll do anything you want me to” au
  • “we’re coworkers and all the other employees ship us so just for fun we all go out clubbing/to a bar but little do we know its actually a plot they set up to get us to realize our supposed love for each other. wait you’re actually a really good dancer and your laugh is so endearing and, holy shit, maybe our colleagues were right” au
  • “i catch you at the bus terminal shivering your ass off because it’s 30 degrees and for some godforsaken reason you’re wearing a short sleeve t shirt, so out of pity i lend you my hoodie and you look so surprised it’s the cutest thing i’ve ever seen, setting aside the fact that you’re a goddamn idiot, do you want to get sick?” au
    • (cont.) “you look so sad and cold that i just tell you to keep my hoodie b/c you obviously need it more than i do. a week later i see you at a coffee shop/book store/etc. and you’re wearing my hoodie which you look so fucking tiny and cute in, and you just saw me and you look super embarrassed; you offer me it back but i tell you it suits you more and we end up talking and i buy you a drink” au
  • “we’re partners in cupcake wars and i never realized how cute you look with frosting on your face until now but no distractions, we have to fucking pummel these other teams because we are the best goddamn cupcake company in the universe WE CAN DO THIS” au
  • “i’m swimming laps in a lake alone at night and i thought no one else was here but i just swam right into you and uh?? you’re not wearing a shirt and you’re hot as hell pl ease take me right here” au
  • “i took you to my family’s lakehouse and we went jetskiing which you were so adorably excited about b/c you’ve never been, and when we drove around on the water at ungodly speeds u held onto me b/c there was nothing else to hold onto” au
  • “my friends dared me to buy 20 condoms but i didn’t realize that the cute cashier would be working tonight so i avoided eye contact as i piled them onto the counter and please stop laughing so hard, oh my god it’s for a dare okay i’ve never had sex in my life and once you stopped laughing, i swear i fell in love with that sparkle in your eye as you grinned wildly at me and asked me out for a drink” au
  • “i accidentally called the wrong skype number and it turns out the person i called was you and you’re in a different time zone, so it’s 3am where you are and you just woke up and look fucking pissed but you’re cute so… let’s do this again when you’re not asleep. i’m more than willing to stay up into the dead of night to talk to you” au
  • “i’m a radio host who indirectly mentions you and flirts with you on my show but you’re so goddamn clueless, please just notice me i’m so desperate for you it’s kind of sad (see: welcome to night vale)” au
soulmate AU prompts

- the voice you hear your thoughts in is your soulmate’s but you don’t know who they are until you hear them speak for the first time

- your soulmate’s initials are imprinted in your skin of your hand at birth and the letters burn more intensely as the day you meet them grows closer

- you’ve only ever seen your soulmate in your dreams but you can never remember what they look like, the imaginary life you have with them picks up wherever it leaves off when you fall asleep again. but the dreams stop after you meet them, but you have no way of know who they are because you still can’t remember their face

- your soulmate’s hair color is the color of your eyes. the color of your eyes also changes to match the color of their hair if they dye it

- you think you have a sleepwalking problem but it’s really just the universe trying to bring you to your soulmate when your mind is disengaged

- you’ve been sketching your soulmate’s face since you were old enough to pick up a pencil, the drawings become more realistic through the years as the day you meet comes near

- you’re born with a band of your soulmate’s skin color tattooed in your skin

- all of your dreams are your soulmate’s most significant memories from that given day

ok so instead of the convenient marriage trope how about an inconvenient annulment/divorce trope

as in dean and cas going to vegas on a hunt and waking up accidentally married to each other and sam calms dean down over the phone by telling him they can annul the marriage no sweat as long as they do it within a certain time period

except then dean and cas keep putting it off using the job as an excuse and when sam reminds them about it dean just waves him off and says, “yeah yeah we’ll get around to it”

and it’s actually sam that brings it up again months later that they’re long past the deadline

and dean’s like “huh well too late now i guess”

and cas just nods indifferently like “divorces are costly”

“and we don’t have a pre-nup so you know it’ll get messy”

“and being married has proven useful in a few of our investigations”

“everybody always assumes we’re married the way we argue anyway no use arguing with them too”

“it really is easier this way”

“guess that settles it”

“i suppose it does”

“s'pose it also means we’ll have to consummate the marriage”

“if we’re to keep up appearances yes”

“they do say marriage is all about sacrifice”

“and we are nothing if not selfless”

“sometimes you gotta take one for the team”

“a true friend would do no less”

“and you’re my buddy… *buddy*”

and sam watches in amazement as they literally no-homo their way into a marriage all the way to the bedroom

List of Au’s I Need
  • You always watch our soccer/football game but you’re always alone and I wanted to talk to our number one fan 
  • You suck at gym class and coach assigned me to be your partner, seriously dude, you can’t even kick a ball
  • You’re the cute nerd that keeps getting pushed around but you just punched your bully and I gotta save you
  • I’m a monster/guardian that the local village give sacrifices too and you’re the new sacrifice but don’t worry I won’t eat you, I’m kinda lonely
  • You’re my mate but you won’t except it, c’mon, it took me forever to find you can I at least get a hug or something
  • I just captured the ship you’re on and about to kill everyone on it, but you’re cute, I’ll keep you
  • You’re a princess that wants to escape castle life and I happen to be just traveling the world, totally not running away from bad people or nothin’
  • You’re the neighbor that keeps their curtains open, even when changing, and I can’t talk to you without blushing 
  • You just snuck into my apartment and wait is that blood
  • we’ve been roomates for a few months now and I never see you at night except this time when I caught you dragging a body into the kitchen
  • I needed to kidnap you for a mission but don’t worry I won’t kill you, you’ll be staying with my family for a while
  • You just threw your prosthetic arm at me for being an asshole but seriously dude I’m sorry, do you need a hand?
  • I’m that dork that makes stupid puns and you’re the nerd that actually finds them funny
writing prompts to consider
  • for the past nights you’ve constantly been in my dreams doing really weird shit and now i can’t look at you properly anymore
  • i don’t know why they thought it was a good idea making the debating and drama students improv together because now everyone’s screaming at each other in elizabethan speech
  • i’m painting all the sets for the school play and you’re helping me but you’re terrible at this stick to acting honestly
  • i asked you to be my model for photography and since when the fuck were you so photogenic holy shit
  • you climbed your first tree but now you can’t get down so i’m going to sit here with you up in this tree until someone arrives with a ladder
  • we were camping in the woods but now there’s a thunderstorm and i think we’re going to die 
au ideas
  • “you’re my roommate and the only one on campus who isn’t planning on going home for christmas bc you have family troubles but my mom wouldn’t mind if u stayed with us for christmas so u won’t be alone” au
  • “i only realized i was in love with u after u died and like 3 yrs later u come back as a fuckin angel or some shit and oh god you’re even cuter than i remember and i missed you like hell pls marry me” au
  • “i’m paranoid as hell and i think my house is haunted so i called over a paranormal investigator and oh no you’re really hot?? also it looks like my house really is haunted and its serious so i guess we’re gonna have to spend more time together until we figure out how to deal with this” au
  • “we live together and you have to film something for a project and the subject ur assigned is horror so u drag me to a haunted forest bc you want ur film to be THE BEST but it turns out there really is something lurking in the forest and we’re both terrified as hell and can’t find our way out” au
  • “i woke up in our dorm room in the dead of the night and u weren’t there and when u didn’t come back i got super worried so i wandered around campus until i found u shivering in the bleachers, and u looked really upset so i gave u my jacket and stayed out there with u for an hour until u finally told me what was wrong” au
  • “i have an awful fear of fireworks so on the fourth of july we stay in our dorm room while u strum ur guitar and try everything u can to calm me down” au
  • “you’re having a nightmare and i feel bad because you’re trembling and crying so i crawl into bed with u and hold u so u feel safe, but in the morning u wake up with my arms wrapped around u you’re really confused and embarrassed” au
  • “i’m a siren and you’re a pirate but i decide not to kill u because you’re actually really really REALLY cute oh shit” au
  • “you’re blind and at the airport and you’re really stressed out, hey it turns out we have the same flight, how about u just hold my hand and i can be your eyes, mostly because i feel bad but also because you’re super cute” au
  • “u walked in on me while i was playing a horror game and i screamed out of sheer terror bc i thought u were a monster coming to steal my soul and now ur laughing and i would be mad but your laugh is really, really cute” au
  • “you kissed me in an attempt to steal my wallet but i know all the tricks haha sucks for u, let’s get coffee sometime and i can teach you some goddamn manners” au
  • “i have to kiss u for spin the bottle/truth or dare and it turns out you’re an amazing kisser and now i’m hella attracted to u, wanna get dinner sometime? maybe make out a bit?” au
  • “you’re a lesser-known artist and i’m hanging out at a small art studio in the city and you catch me staring in awe at your work” au
  • “you’re my patient and i’m trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you but it’s hard to do that when you’re flirting with me, seriously dude i’m not gonna be able to diagnose you as easily when you’re telling me how my labcoat complements my eyes jfc” au
  • “you caught some guy trying to drug my drink at the bar so u punched him and now we’re at my place where i’m cleaning the blood off your face and endlessly thanking you” au
  • “we’re stuck in a convenience store because there’s a huge-ass storm and you’re freaking the fuck out because you’re terrified so i guess since i’m your best friend i’ll just sit with you in this aisle and sing to you to try and calm you down” au
  • “i literally took a bullet for you and now you owe me big time” au
  • “we’re at a mutual friend’s wedding on a ferry so after the initial wedding we’re stuck at the afterparty until we get back to shore, and since we both despise huge crowds we just sorta hang around each other and one thing leads to another and we wake up in the same bed” au
AU IDEAS

Best Friend AU’s

-okay I know we’ve been best friends since forever but no we can’t take showers to- GET OUT OF MY SHOWER OKAY IM GETTING TURNED ON.

-seriously if one more FUckIN person comes to me to ask for permission to ask you out I’ll-I’ll- KISS YOU IN FRONT OF THEM.

-were neighbors with adjacent windows and I stg if you don’t CLOSE YOUR FUCKING BLINDS when you jerk off I’ll smash your face in.

-you go away for like a year and now your back but you grew 2 ft and now have muscles on your muscles. I was the one that was supposed to fuck you against the wall but now- sigh. Looks like we’ll have to flip a coin.

-“look, you’re like a chihuahua man. Your fucking small, but think your a Doberman. It’s gotta stop cuz I can’t beat up everyone.”

-ive known you my entire life but I’m just now realizing I can’t sleep over anymore because- you have this mole alright? Look it shouldn’t be a big deal. But it is. It’s all that moles fault- no you don’t have to remove it, it’s just I gotta take a step back alright? No-DONT cry-fuck.

SPY AUs
  • “Your agency and my agency are constantly competing and why do you keep taking over my missions.” AU
  • “I’m an agent and you’re an evil mastermind and I was assigned to kill you but now you have me hostage and oh god you’re hot.” AU
  • “I was assigned to assassinate a mass murderer but it looks like you- their soon to be victim- has it under control. I’m recruiting you.” AU
  • “We’re both prestigious spies who are constantly trying to be better than the other and now we’ve been paired up just shoot me instead.” AU
  • “You’re some newbie and I’m going to be teaching you all about espionage. Quick, let’s have hand to hand combat which has close contact.” AU
  • “We have to pretend to be a newlywed couple at a gala our enemy is hosting quick kiss me to make this believable.” AU
  • “I just walked in on you kicking some serious ass and oh my god did a laser just come out of your watch are you James Bond?” AU
  • “We’re roommates and you are super secretive all the time and are going out every night only to come back at ungodly hours I guess I’m following you next time.” AU
  • “Apparently my grandmother’s locket I wore tonight to this fancy dinner is being sought after by thieves and you’ve been assigned to keep it safe at all costs- HEY LET GO OF ME I’M NOT GOING TO YOUR ‘HEADQUARTERS’ ASSHOLE.” AU
  • “I’m obsessed with spies and when my friend set us up on a blind date you happened to be on a mission oh my god you have a self destructive pen I’m going to wet my pants in excitement.” AU