AU where the Justice League forms like usual, except Batman maintained his “totally a myth” status and has in fact been active for years before the JL forms. He’s very cautious about trusting them, but still joins, and the others sort of accepts that as long as they trust that Batman has a really hard time with trust, it will all work out in its own weird way

Then, one day, in the middle of a JL mission, the League gets in a tight spot. Out of nowhere, this blue and black blur swoops in and saves everyone’s ass. Maybe breaking some shackles that were proving very difficult, maybe disarm a bomb that the League was just a hair’s breadth too slow to reach without help, but whatever happens, the shadowy figure pauses just long enough to say, “Hey, Batman, you know you there are these things called cellphones now and you can just call sometimes, it doesn’t have to be this dramatic?” and bounds away after shouting ‘let’s do brunch! Bring your new friends!’

Batman is mortified.

No one lets it go.

The entire rest of the mission, the whole League is asking so many questions. Who was that? Do you know him? How do you know him? What’s going on? I didn’t know there was a vigilante in this area?? They don’t let up until he talks.

“That was Nightwing.” Batman is mumbling. The JL forces him to bring them to the Brunch. Brunch happens to be in a run-down apartment on the edge of a bad neighborhood, at five in the morning, in costume. Nightwing introduces himself as Batman’s lovechild with justice.

“I did not realize Batman had a child,” Martian Manhunter says, calmly enough that no one’s sure if he’s accidentally plucking a really loud thought out of the air or if he’s trying to make a joke.

Nightwing stares for a moment falling over laughing. He doesn’t get up. Batman starts trying to apply anti-Joker venom but Nightwing just kicks him and laughs until he cries. He keeps trying to wipe his eyes and his mask keeps getting in the way, so he asks everyone to leave so he can please get a hold of himself

He is still laughing when they leave. Everyone is confused. Batman is furious.  Nightwing manages to breathe long enough to say, “We’re just so glad you’re socializing now, Batman.”

Superman turns to look at Batman very slowly. “…’we’?”

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spice up those coffee shop AUs
  • sure, i used to be a regular, but i literally haven’t been to this coffee shop in two years. how do you still remember my order??
  • you wrote my name down wrong the first time i came here and i didn’t correct you, but you’re really sweet and now i don’t know how to tell you you’ve been calling me by the wrong name for the past month.
  • i’m the manager and one of the other employees keeps drawing amazing art on the chalkboards, but i can’t figure out who it is?? i’ve been keeping a meticulous schedule to figure out whose shift it appears during
  • i work opening shift, but whenever i get there at 5:30 somehow you’re always already there, looking flawlessly put together. you haven’t even had your coffee yet. tell me your secrets.
  • we’re coworkers but we work different shifts and communicate exclusively through post-it notes. maybe i should just give you my phone number already so you can tell me more about the lady who ordered a latte for her ten year old.
  • you and your friend always sit at the table a couple down from mine and gossip in [insert language here], which happens to be a language i’m currently learning. i’ve been eavesdropping to try and improve my listening comprehension and oh my god are you actually talking about how hot i am??? 
  • i love hot chocolate So Much but it’s embarrassing to be the adult ordering hot chocolate at a coffee shop, so do you think you could announce that it’s a different drink when you’re giving it to me??
  • at the local coffee shop, there’s a chess set set up in one corner of the shop and every morning i move one piece. later in the day, someone else always moves a piece too. i’m dying to know who i’m playing against.
  • i’m a new hire and you’re trying to show me how to use the espresso machine. i actually already know how to use it, but i’m pretending to be incompetent so that you’ll keep talking to me. please don’t fire me.
one cannot have enough of cute and random aus so here have some more
  • “You’re the cute and quiet customer that frequents the coffee shop where I’m a barista and also where my rival barista works and we’re both fighting for your attention in increasingly creative and inconspicuous ways (making foam art, writing cheesy pick-up lines on your napkin etc. etc.)” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU.
  • “You’re an Art student and I’m an English major and you keep stealing the papers for my assignment to doodle and I would kill you but you’re really cute and hey that’s actually a really nice sketch” AU.
  • “You’re the perpetual frowner in class and one day as I’m answering the teacher I intentionally make a very cheesy pun and I can hear crickets but you’re laughing out loud and that makes me feel very much accomplished” AU.
  • “The manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but I swear to God we’re not flirting???” AU.
  • “I ditch prom to attend a local poetry slam and you’re also there and I never really noticed what a cute smile you have and hey do you maybe want to bond over our mutual love for ‘Howl’???” AU.
  • “You’re new in town and you seem very intimidating but as it turns out you have an awful sense of direction even with a map and you’re actually adorkable so here let me help you” AU.
  • “It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single and you want to cheer me up but you can’t cook nor bake to save your life so you make me hot chocolate instead and it is delicious and I think I love you???” AU.
  • “It’s gym class and we’re playing volleyball and you spike really well and you manage to hit the ball square in my face and I think I’m bleeding and you’re apologizing profusely and it’s okay but you’re really cute so I guess I’ll take you up on that offer for coffee” AU.
  • “You’re the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and drawing phallic pictures on your coffee” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us to go shopping with them and it’s kind of awkward and now you’re pushing them around the mall in a shopping cart and you’re both screaming like excited children and I’m paying the cashier and pretending I don’t know either of you” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us for Thanksgiving dinner with their other friends and now there’s a full-fledged food fight going on with potatoes and turkey flying everywhere and we’re both seeking refuge under the table whilst sharing a bag of chips that you brought (just in case)” AU.
  • “You and I are both baristas at a coffee shop and one day I step out of the café to take a break and walk in on you gleefully drawing phallic pictures on the chalkboard outside that no one pays attention to so what are you doing?” AU.
  • “You and I go out to a sushi bar and the sushi chef yells at you for being allergic to a particular kind of fish and now you’re crying and I’m trying to comfort you” AU.
  • “You and I are at a sushi restaurant and you’re continuously snagging sushi off the belt that I have to pay for and you don’t seem to be going to stop anytime soon but you look so cute when you’re eating with that smile on your face what the hell man” AU.
  • “The mailman constantly mixes up your home address and mine together and keeps on sending me your letters and packages and I’m sorry I look through them but your life seems very interesting as well as those books on black magic in one of your packages so wanna talk about it over a cup of coffee?” AU.
  • “We’re both strangers sitting in the same booth at an eatery because all the other booths are full and you’re drawing smiley faces on your plate with ketchup and wow your concentrated frown is cute” AU.
  • “It’s our mutual friend’s wedding and they keep shoving us into each other because we’re the only ones at the ceremony who are single” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate and it’s way past midnight and you’re talking about how Charles Dickens inspired prison reform and how the moon must feel insignificant because it borrows light from the sun and this is all very interesting but will you please shut up and go to sleep” AU.
  • “You’re actually a really friendly and chill vampire and at night you float around outside of my bedroom window to talk with me about the universe and stuff” AU.
  • “You’re going through my sketchbook and giving questioning looks and I swear to God I’m just a deranged artist and not a serial killer” AU.
  • “We live next door to each other and I can see you through the window while you’re dancing to your iPod in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and God you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I’ve been standing in line at the coffee shop for hours and you casually cut through for your drink but also buy me my favorite blend and now I’m not so sure what to make of you” AU.
  • “I’m sick so you make me chicken soup and I’m really grateful but I’ve also seen you read books on magical spells and potion-making so I’m not sure if I should drink your soup in case it turns me into a toad” AU.
  • “There’s a scrawny black cat in our neighborhood that hates everyone and everything but follows you around for some reason and I see you pet it and feed it fish fries are you a witch” AU
  • “I’m a perpetual frowner and most certainly not a morning person and I work part-time at a breakfast bar and your disheveled hair and content smile as you eat my waffles and scrambled eggs is the only thing that can get me to smile” AU.
  • “You’re the one in class who has tattoos all over their arms and piercings and everybody’s scared of you and one day I catch you watching cat videos and doodling in the middle of a lecture and wow you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I work part-time as a cashier at the local corner store and you come here regularly to shop and bond with me over the microwavable chicken bites so how about I take you out on a proper date instead?” AU.
  • “I’m the owner of a magic shop and you discover my magics one day when you walk in on my cat flying around inside the shop on a broom and now I have to take you in as my apprentice or turn you into a toad” AU.
  • “You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU.
  • “You’re a tea-lover yet you come to the coffee shop where I work at just to see my foam art and you give me hefty tips regularly so I’ve taken it upon myself to master the art of tea-making just for you” AU.
  • “I’m a fashion major and I’m working on my illustrations and maybe I’ve had too much coffee but I swear I just saw one of the mannequins move so here I am calling you in the middle of the night please help I’m scared” AU.
  • “You work at a fast food restaurant and as you hand me my food you lecture me for ruining my health what is this hypocrisy” AU.
  • “I’m egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk about it?” AU.
Being forced to share a bed au's

(OTP that’s not yet together/haven’t acknowledged their feelings for each other)

- building a wall of pillows between them
- they still wake up tangled in each other anyway
- person A calms person B down when they wake up gasping
- person A soothing them by stroking their hair and forehead till they fall asleep in their arms
- person A keeps snoring and person B kicks them every time
- person A hogs all the covers and person B’s solution is to spoon them
- the two of them smelling of each other when they wake up
- the pair acting like the intimacy they shared at night never happened the next day

AUs no one asked for
  •  I’m sleeping over at my friend’s flat from university after study group and just got woken up in the middle of the night by their roommate, who is sitting in the kitchen, listening very loudly to the dirty dancing soundtrack and crying. Like wtf, I didn’t even know they had a roommate and normally I would yell at you but damn you are cute. You really need to stop tho dude, its 4am, some people in this house want to sleep AU
  • I am a barista and you are a customer who comes in every day and orders the same thing and today my friend brought you with them, I didn’t even know we had mutual friends and WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY YOUR NAME HAVE I REALLY BEEN WRITING A NAME THAT IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO YOURS ON YOUR CUPS FOR OVER HALF A YEAR WHY HAVE YOU NEVER CORRECTED ME AU
  • The house party me and my friends threw kinda escalated and after throwing out everyone I found this half naked person passed out in my bed but I can’t be bothered to wake them up now so I’m just gonna go to sleep and deal with it in the morning, they are kind of cute anyway AU
  • (or alternatively) I just woke up in a stranger’s bed and I’m half naked, I cant remember anything about yesterday besides that the party was great and that I got absolutely wasted AND OH MY GOD THERE IS A HOT PERSON NEXT TO ME IN BED AND THEY ARE NOT WEARING MUCH WHAT DID WE DO YESTERDAY AU
  • You are my new coworker and I’m pretty sure I’ve never met you SO WHY ARE YOU LOOKING SO FAMILIAR FUCK I THINK YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE ANGSTY EMO KIDS I USED TO STALK BACK IN THE MYSPACE DAYS I CANT BELIEVE THIS AU
  • We work out at the same gym and you are my declared rival because we have the same workout routine and you are always better than me and on my way to the locker room I passed you in the shower where you were singing the opening of hannah montana and I can still hear you and you switched to the lion king now and even though I hate you I think I am kind of in love with you AU
  • I’m hiding in the bathroom of a restaurant from a spectacularly awful tinder date and you are in a similar situation because a guy at the bar just won’t stop hitting on you and now we are planning an epic escape together even though we only met ten minutes ago AU
AU Idea

Okay but courtesy of this song all I can think of now is an AU where over the course of the clean-up operation in the aftermath of the Battle For Mewni, some of goop!Toffee’s remains are salvaged from the rubble and sold on the sly to very interested parties who are like ‘holy shit, this is a one-of-a-kind substance with all sorts of potentially cool properties, it could give us insight into the nature of corrupted magic as well as Septarian regeneration, it might even hold the key to immortality’

And experiments are run on the goop, but the results are pretty disappointing for the most part except for the fact that anything magical (magic-charged instruments used to examine the goop, potions, etc) are drained of magic the moment they come into contact with it - the goop essentially corrupts and nullifies all magic they expose to it

Which is still pretty cool, but, yunno, not what they were hoping to find, and actually kind of creepy (where does the magic _go_?) so after messing around with it for a while they decide to shelf it, store it in a jar

Only all the messing around has woken Toffee from his dormant goop state and he cracks the jar, oozes out like some kind of eldritch slug creature and disappears into the air vents

Consequently everyone in the lab suffers from a string of very unfortunate accidents, as a result of this malevolent shadow puddle that can temporarily shape itself into solid forms for murdery purposes (or just engulf someone’s face and suffocate them)

Long story short word spreads that there’s been a containment breach at this facility, the authorities get involved and find nothing but a few dead bodies, the place gets sealed off and labelled as hella haunted

And Toffee is just slowly growing stronger by corrupting and draining every magic-infused source within the facility - he’s in the very walls of this place, he can be anywhere and go anywhere, he just can’t leave

Until one day some curious soul breaks the perimeter seal…

Bonus points of it’s Star and Co just wanting a harmless night of exploring a haunted building, or Moon and the revived High Commission seeking answers as to why magic in the immediate surrounding area seems to have stopped working


AUs

Here are some aus, divided in different themes.

College themed

  1. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  2. My roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  3. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  4. You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay
  5. My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  6. It’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
  7. I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
  8. Accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  9. Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider
  10. Somehow, we always end up sitting next to each other during the weekly gatherings to watch [Game of Thrones, SVU, Rupaul’s Drag Race, pick a show] in our dorm’s really good TV room 
  11. I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly

Awkward first meeting themed

  1. “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry!”
  2. “I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
  3. “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”
  4. Trapped in a bank during a robbery 
  5. “I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night”
  6. “Last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us”
  7. “You found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life”
  8. ‘you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you’re really hot so i just went with it and now we’re heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you’
  9. ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’
  10. ‘i’ve had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i’m so sorry’
  11. “I ordered pizza but the pizzeria got my order wrong so now I’m screaming at my really cute pizza delivery boy because I’m angry and very hungry”

Nobility themed

  1. “your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it”
  2. “we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice”
  3. “i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways”

Opposites attract themed

  1. a hopeless romantic and a single-but-proud meet at a store on valentine’s day. the latter is buying valentine cards ironically, the former buying them sincerely in hopes of getting a date
  2. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park
  3. rebellious teenager who’s failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor
  4. really distinguished food critic and fast food chef
  5. a hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date

High school themed

  1. “We’re the only ones in detention”
  2. “I desperately need my books but my locker is blocked and you’re the only one in the hall”
  3. “Someone wrote I’m cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting”
  4. “I twisted my ankle and you’re the only one here strong enough to carry me to the nurse’s office but we’re both really awkward”
  5. “We were both left out when everyone was picking partners and now we always choose each other when we have classes together”
  6. “I lent you my cool pencil months ago and you still use it”
  7. “I accidentally took your notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting and cute doodles”
  8. “You started sitting by me at lunch because I’m alone at my table but we never talk to each other”
  9. “I was really hungry but had no money and you bought me lunch even though I don’t know you”
  10. “I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are”
  11. “I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn’t complain and made breakfast for the both of us”
  12. sharing a textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners
  13. found their phone number in a library book
  14. dancing partners
  15. younger siblings are best friends
  16. playing romantic interests in a play
  17. “yes i understand that it’s may and this classroom is stuffy but why are you taking your shirt off and why aren’t you in trouble (not that i mind)”
  18. “i can’t believe you dropped the frog we’re dissecting on tHE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK”
  19. “i’m fightin this person and they shoved me into u im sooo sorry- oh hey you’re cute- oH MY GOD UR KICKIN ASS MARRY ME!!! PLEASE!!!!”
  20. “you asked me to prom by filling my locker with ping pong balls that say “prom?” on them but i tripped on one and smacked my head on a locker but thanks for taking me to the nurse!!! i still want to go with you!!”

Ridicously sentence themed

  1. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 
  2. "Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
  3. “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”
  4. “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
  5. “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 
  6. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
  7. “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
  8. “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
  9. “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Height difference themed

  1. “I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”
  2. “You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”
  3. “We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”
  4. “You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”
  5. I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”
  6. “We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 
  7. “You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

Reincarnation themed

  1. I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friend’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life
  2. We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

Mythical creatures themed

  1. “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn”
  2. “i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO”
  3. “i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class”

Funny meeting at a party themed

  1. “i was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me”
  2. “spilled my drink down your shirt and then tried to drink it off you”
  3. “we had an impromptu rap duet in the middle of the party”
  4. “you kept asking everyone to play the cha cha slide then proceeded to pass out when the song started”
  5. “you keep shouting “THIS IS MY JAM” at every song that comes on i have a headache the size of nebraska you’re lucky you’re cute”
  6. “whenever you saw me you’d shout ‘WHOOOOOOOOO’ really loudly and then do finger guns at me before walking off to god knows where”
  7. “you thought I was your friend and pulled me up on the table to dance with you now you’re shirtless and grinding on me”
  8. “you got up to the mic and started singing and holy shit you’re really good???”
  9. “you’re really bad at beer pong but you do this really cute dance before you throw the ball so I’m letting you stay on my team”
  10. “our mutual friend dared the two of us to chug a whole pint of beer and I’m not going to let you beat me”
  11. “we both grabbed for the last bottle of the good beer and i’m not saying we’re going to fight for it but we are”

Competitive themed

  1. we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
  2. I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
  3. a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
  4. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
  5. we’re always making stupid bets like 'bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
  6. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

“We’re bad at dating” themed

  1. I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  2. I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  3. We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  4. We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  5. We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  6. You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
soulmate AU prompts

- the voice you hear your thoughts in is your soulmate’s but you don’t know who they are until you hear them speak for the first time

- your soulmate’s initials are imprinted in your skin of your hand at birth and the letters burn more intensely as the day you meet them grows closer

- you’ve only ever seen your soulmate in your dreams but you can never remember what they look like, the imaginary life you have with them picks up wherever it leaves off when you fall asleep again. but the dreams stop after you meet them, but you have no way of know who they are because you still can’t remember their face

- your soulmate’s hair color is the color of your eyes. the color of your eyes also changes to match the color of their hair if they dye it

- you think you have a sleepwalking problem but it’s really just the universe trying to bring you to your soulmate when your mind is disengaged

- you’ve been sketching your soulmate’s face since you were old enough to pick up a pencil, the drawings become more realistic through the years as the day you meet comes near

- you’re born with a band of your soulmate’s skin color tattooed in your skin

- all of your dreams are your soulmate’s most significant memories from that given day

Job AUs

Part 1 | Part 2

General

  • ‘Hey bastard this store is already closed oh wait you’re hot never mind please do come in’ AU
  • 'I’m on the verge of tears because of a rude customer and you step in and stand up for me’ AU
  • ‘I can feel you silently judging me as you ring up my purchases I swear I’m not using these for their intended purpose’ au
  • ‘Why does this cost TEN DOLLARS THIS IS AN OUTRAGE’ AU

Hairdresser AU

  • ‘You’re my regular customer and I’m in love with the feel of your hair’ AU
  • “Rumor has it that you’re a hairdresser with magic fingers and you can fix any bad hair day so that’s why I’m here’ AU

Gift store AU

  • 'Why the fuck are you choosing that for a gift to your crush’ AU
  • ‘You walk in and offer to pay me to wrap your gifts’ AU


Florist AU

  • ‘I work as a florist and every day you walk in, buy one flower and give it to me’ AU
  • ‘I work part-time in a flower shop and you keep asking me about what this flower means in flower language and I honestly don’t know so you end up giving me a lesson’ AU


Jewellery shop AU

  • 'You walk in and ask for the most expensive piece are you loaded to the gills what the fuck man’ AU
  • ‘I’m the employee and this is the first time ever I’ve met you but you buy me a necklace saying the gem compliments my eyes’ AU

Coffee Shop AU

  • I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’ AU
  • 'You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly horrible ways’ AU
  • 'You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something’ AU
  • 'Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking in’ AU


Bakery AU

  • 'Your love of strawberry shortcake really doesn’t match your appearance but i still think that’s really cute’ AU
  • 'Every morning you walk in and inhale deeply then walk back out seriously just buy something already’ AU 


Drug Store/Chemist AU

  • 'You embarrassedly place your items into the counter so I call a price check just to make you feel more awkward, but it turns out one of your items were actually overpriced’ AU


Bartender AU

  • 'You’re the bartender and you catch someone slipping something into my drink’ AU
  • ‘I ask you to concoct something from all the ingredients on the list i gave you and it ends up tasting so horrible and wrong that i can’t stop laughing’ AU


Teacher AU

  • We’re both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from students and you’ve won for the past three years’ AU
  • 'Romeo and Juliet of the math and english dept. in school’ AU

Writer AU

  • I’m a writer and when it gets close to my deadlines I neglect taking care of myself so you’ll pop in my house every so often to make sure I’m doing okay’ AU


Fast food Chain AU

  • ‘You just ordered a smile and I look at you like you’re batshit insane before bursting out into laughter’ AU
  • ‘You’re an employee and I have a crush on you so when you hand me the soft serve I accidentally grab it by the ice cream instead of the cone’ AU
  • ‘We have a free refill policy for soft drink and you’ve prepared several empty bottles what the fuck’ AU

Corner Shop AU

  • ‘I see you come in here every day to buy the same drink and one day I leave a message on the bottle’ AU
  • ‘You run in looking really panicked and you ask for 6 gallons of milk why’ AU

 

Restaurant AU

  • ‘You’re a famous critique and I’m a server and I get so nervous that I trip and spill the dish all over you’ AU
  • ‘You’ve always been a good cook so I encouraged your start your own restaurant and seven years down the track you own one of the most successful businesses’ AU

Idol/Manger AU

  • ‘I’m your manager and holy shit you have crazy fans’ AU
  • ‘You’re an idol and you got the lead role in a romance drama and you practice at my expense’ AU
  • ‘Can you please act appropriately do you know just how many of your fuck ups I’ve had to cover up last week’ AU 


Firefighter AU

  • ‘You’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ AU
  • No that’s impossible how the fuck did you manage to get it to catch fire?!” AU

Sex Line Operator AU

  • ‘I called you because I was curious and wow you have a very soothing voice can you please sing me to sleep’ AU
  • ‘I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour’s’ AU

And Finally:

  • You’re a drug lord and I think I’ve just walked into your drug den’ AU

sorry not sorry

MORE AU IDEAS

• “My stupid friends roped me into a mall scavenger hunt and you’re on the list” AU
• “We both wanted to rent a bike for an hour but the only one they have is a tandem bike” AU
• “You’re adopting the cat that I’ve been trying to adopt for a week now” AU
• “You just moved into the house next to my mom’s and she has you doing her yardwork” AU
• “I’m on a terrible date and you’re my waitor please help me” AU
• “My brother/sister asked me to break up with you for them i’m so sorry” AU
• “I’ve been receiving all your freaking mail since you moved out and you keep getting weird gifts from your brother make it stop” AU
• “Our dick landlord just evicted us both” AU
• “We both just moved in with our siblings and they’re neighbors” AU
• “I’m your neighbor and I can hear you fucking someone who shares my name” AU
• “Your cat got my cat pregnant and now I have all these kittens please take them” AU
• “I’m your ex, you are a cop, and I just got arrested for being drunk and disorderly” AU
• “Remember that one time in college when we were at that party and you asked a random stranger to pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah well that was me and we’re adults now” AU
• “You’re sort of famous and we vaguely know each other through bumping into each other all the time but the media thinks we’re dating” AU
• “You’re a cop, I’m a firefighter, we always work the same shifts” AU
• “You always ask me for help but I have weird health conditions that prevent me from doing so” AU
• “Your roommate cheated on me and I just threw your laptop out the window thinking it was his” AU
• “My kid just shot a bottle rocket into your window” AU
• “We’re both in the vegetable isle and I just burst into tears while staring at the cabbages” AU
• “That’s my fucking fish that you just caught give it back” AU
• “I’ve had a crush on you since the 11th grade but you’ve hated me ever since that one time” AU
• “The advertisement did not do you justice” AU
• “You jipped me of those concert tickets so I came to your house asshole” AU
• “You think I’m nervous because you’re interviewing me for this high end job but actually it’s because you’re stupidly hot” AU
• “Oh shit this isn’t my car” AU
• “You fell off the map 6 years ago and you think you can just waltz back into my life. Literally. You’re the dance instructor for my best friend’s wedding and we have history” AU
• “It’s 2am on the night of my 21st birthday and we gotta fix this fucking mess by morning or else we’re fucked ” AU
• “My dad’s a cancer patient and you’re his nurse” AU
• “Did I mention that I had a dream about you last night? Oh right we’ve never talked about before” AU
• “Lol this was a terrible idea” AU
• “juSt a game? jUST A GaMe????? FUCK YOU I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN” or the “so competitive it’s almost sexual” AU
• “Aren’t you the person from marti gras last year?” AU
• “We’re both on the same multiple stop flight schedules to go to the same destination so we might as well stick together. Also your shoulder is a very comfortable pillow.” AU
• “Fuck you and your bee farm I’ve had enough” AU
• “We’re in an exam study group and I just send you my nudes by accident oops” AU
• “Somehow my gallery sculpture piece looks exactly like you how weird” AU
• “That tattoo on your chest is the exact same as mine” AU
• “I was actually awake when you did that thing” AU
• “Why do we keep running into each other when we live on opposite sides of the country?” AU
• “We need to be really quiet but you have the hiccups” AU
• “Why do you always walk your dog at exactly 12am every night? Do you not enjoy sleep?” AU
• “For the love of God, what is making that noise?” AU
• “Somehow you manage to scare me everytime we run into each other and i already get frightened very easily let me live” AU

Angel and Demon Prompts

Angel/Human

  • I’m a guardian angel but really shitty at my -oh my gosh don’t walk into the street!
  • I’m the angel in charge of giving you a tour of heaven. 
  • Please stop kicking at the gates of heaven you’re dead and that’s that.
  • I don’t care how fluffy my wings are you can’t use them as a pillow!
  • You’re a new angel and I’m the one training you 
  • I’m just wandering around doing random good deeds and you look like you need the lords help but I can try.

Demon/Human

  • I’m trying to harass you but you’re immune to my antics because you have a demon friend.
  • You summoned me to make a deal but I’m not sure even hell’s power can help you.
  • I dragged you into hell by accident but you actually like it here so it’s cool.
  • Found a human who likes causing trouble as much as I do.
  • You summoned me by accident and now I’m staying with you till you make a deal with me cause it’s difficult traveling to hell and back and I’m not leaving till we make a deal

Angel/Demon

  • We are supposed to be enemies but you just saved my life???
  • I’m just a humble demon trying to cause havoc and you’re the pesky angel who won’t leave me alone. What do you want from me?
  • You’re trying to save this human, I want to corrupt them, and they think we are both hot. 
  • Harassing this angel on duty turned into flirting??
  • Date planing is hard when you’re an angel dating a demon
Au idea where

Person A is known school wide for being a player/manwhore/ insert-label-here-that-means-dates-five-people-in-one-month. They decide to ask person B out, who promptly rejects them. Person B tells person A that they know how A is like, so sorry but no thanks. They can be friends though?

And so begins the start of a beautiful friendship. Person a encourages person b, often too much so, and wingmans for them. Person b calls person a out on their bullshit. They get to be surprisingly close friends.

And then one day person b wakes up and realizes:

Oh shit.

I like my player/manwhore/insert-label-here-that-means-dates-five-people-in-one-month best friend.

Cue glorious pining

(Of course, person A has slowly fallen in love with person b too over the course of their friendship. Except they’ve been rejected before by person a, and they do realize their own reputation of being a player, even if they actually want something more with person b. So they’ve been quiet on their end, but were they too obvious? Because person a has been acting kinda strange lately; maybe they figured out person a likes them? dID THEY SCREW UP EvERyT hI n G??!?!?!?)

random aus i havent seen
  • ‘you are sitting next to me at the doctors watching me freak out. oh, i just am deathly afraid of needles and need to get a shot’ AU

  • ‘i’m a librarian and i see you have a bunch of books about depression and suicide in your hand, hey buddy, want to talk to someone? i’m here if you need me’ AU

  • ‘you are talking to yourself in a silent library about how much you hate studying and how you are going to fail. need help there? i just so happen to major in that subject. oh shit, you’re really cute’ AU

  • ‘you play guitar every day during our lunch hour and no one knows what song it is but I do and i love that band, lets talk about how amazing they are.’ AU

  • ‘i have a garage sale every year at the same time and you always show up but never buy anything and just flirt with me but i have never seen you any other place’ AU

  • ‘i’m in a band and i jumped into the crowd but no one caught me and i accidentally crushed you oh my god im so sorry here come backstage to rest. wow, you’re actually really cute’ AU

  • ‘you’ve been in Bed, Bath and Body Works for hours everyday and all you do is smell everything’ AU

  • ‘i met you on social media but we both don’t speak well in each others languages, wow i really like you and need to figure this out’ AU

  • ‘i’m a guest on your talk show and you’re flirting with me, do you do this with everyone? oh your audience is swooning over us, sure, i’ll come back on your show soon’ AU

  • ‘i collect snowglobes and i just need one more from your country, you own an antique store, wanna help me find it? oh shit i forgot you don’t really speak my language’ AU

  • ‘i’m the principal of this school and you’re an administrator and you catch all the kids trying to sneak off and send them to me. i’m impressed and you’re also really hot in that vest.’ AU

  • ‘you write amazing fanfiction on tumblr and i send you anon messages everyday. oh shit, that wasn’t on anon, my cover’s blown. well, may as well message you and talk about how much i love [insert ship here]’ AU
So I was reading some things about the Soulmate AUs

and I found this AU were everyone wake up on their 21nd or 22nd birthday in the body of their soulmate. literally it can be anyone from all around the world and you have to try to figure out who you are to find each other and regain your own body. And then I thought, what if you wake up and

  • you’re in prison/asylum
  • you’re in a mermaid body but you don’t know how to swim
  • you’re trapped in a coffin bc your soulmate is dead
  • you’re completely naked in a bed with a stranger who is also naked
  • you’re in another country, on a scene with a band and a micro in your hands but you don’t know how to sing (bonus if they can’t speak the language of the country they’re now in)
  • you’re in the body of the most popular/powerful/rich person in the world
  • you’re in a car with someone talking to you but you have absolutely no idea who they are or what they’re talking about (bonus if they’re in traffic and/or if there’s children in the backseat)
  • you’re in the body of a pregnant women (bonus if they’re in hospital and about to give birth)
  • you’re in a bedroom with tons of posters of rock bands but you’re religious and/or you absolutely hate punk kids
  • you’re falling. like literally all you can see is the ground hanging over dangerously fast
  • you’re in the workshop of an artist but you were blind and it’s the first time you finally get to know what colours looks like
  • you’re in the body of the person you hate the most in the entire world (bonus if they take this opportunity to do mean pranks to the other, like humiliate them in public or break up with their bf/gf)
  • you’re in the body of someone who was in the middle of a public speech OR a teacher who was explaining something to their students, but you were mute and have no idea how to speak and everyone. is looking. right at you.
  • you’re tied and/or shut in somewhere and the body of your soulmate is very thin and small while you were super strong and athletic
  • you’re in the body of the person you had a crush on for years. you’re super happy to know that they’re your soulmate until you learn that they already have a fiancé, and they think that you’re only platonic soulmates
  • the day after your wedding, you wake up in the body of someone who is definitely not your partner
  • you’re in the body of a criminal (bonus if they were in the middle of committing a crime when you swapped bodies)
  • you were in prison and woke up in the body of the cop who arrested you
  • you’re vegetarian in the body of a hunter/cannibal/vampire
  • you wake up in a glade in the middle of an unknown forest bc your soulmate is a werewolf but you don’t know that and think they’re a criminal or something
  • you wake up in a bedroom with 4 other people, and apparently they’re the friends of your soulmate but you don’t know who they are and they don’t know that you’re not their friend
  • EDIT: ( my friend didn’t want me to add that one for personal reasons but now she doesn’t care so here we go; ) your soulmate was about to kill themselves when you swapped bodies, so you wake up and there’s a chair on the ground and a rope around your neck and you cannot breathe

(also if you write a story based on one of these please contact me, I’ll want to read it)

I want baby plots;

  • I want a woman who’s wanted to have a child for so long and she’s yet to find the right man and she has herself artificially inseminated
  • I want friends who are desperate to have children that they decide to have one together
  •  I want a couple who have been together for years and are now beginning to want children and can have them
  •  I want couples who have been together for years and can’t have children
  • I want one night stands ending in pregnancy
  •  I want people starting their lives and careers only to find out their pregnant
  •  I want exes finding out they’re having children together
  • I want parents raising their children at all ages
  • I want same sex couples wanting children and finding surrogates and looking after them
  •  I want adoptions and surrogacy and everything you could imagine.

 I want baby plots!!!!!

In a complicated fiasco last year with my friend’s very conservative and anti-gay parents, I was forbidden from ever seeing her again purely based on the assumption that all girls with short hair are gay or trans and looking to sleep with her daughter. Anyways, I figured I’d just convince her mother that I was, in fact, straight, she’d let me see my friend. And what’s straighter than having a boyfriend? So I asked my guy friend to pose as my boyfriend in some pictures—which was just as awkward as you would assume. Naturally, our overbearing friends stepped in to help, telling us to move closer and whatnot. It was still awkward. And what’s the best thing to do in an incredibly awkward situation? Embrace it. We started calling each other fake-boyfriend/girlfriend, shouting cliches in the hallways, or texting heart emojis (ironically, of course). Anyways, that joke kinda fades out within the next few months but it’s still brought up occasionally. At one point, I told my cousin about it and of course she questions whether or not it’s actually fake saying, “I did that in high school and I ended up marrying him.” (Queue the “yeah right we’re just friends.”) Well it turns out she was on to something. A year later, I’m dating him and I had to explain to my cousin that yes, my current boyfriend is the same as my fake boyfriend. So she got to say ‘I told you so.’

In summary, if you think the whole “fake boyfriend” plot is unrealistic, think again.

ok but give me a plot where muse a is a big bad mob leader or gang leader or drug dealer or smthn like that and muse b is their significant other who wouldn’t even know how to hurt a fly

and muse b is also the only person who can calm muse a down when they’re in a rage

also muse a has to teach muse b how to defend themselves in case something were to ever happen to them

BONUS:
what if
muse a takes muse b out to dinner or smthn one night and someone tries to hurt muse b in order to hurt muse a
and muse a ends up shooting someone
and it’s the first time that muse b has seen that happen

★*.✧ some random plot ideas for adult things ★*.✧

       'okay we used to be best friends and we promised we were gonna get married when we got older but we drifted apart after high school and now i got an invitation to your wedding and wait that’s not how it was supposed to go’ au

      ‘we promised we were going to write a tv show one day but we never did it because we grew apart but wait – didn’t i just hear these kids on the bus talking about a tv show that sounds a lot like our idea? wait, you are the one writing it? you do realize that story was half mine, right? i wANT MY MONEY’ au

       ‘you and i used to date but we broke up and it was really ugly and we stopped talking and now we bumped into each other after ten years and wow that kid sure does look a lot like – wait, how old is your kid? ten? oh. OH’ au

       ‘you are my new boss and fuck i feel like i know you from somewhere. wait, did you just say you are from said city? oh shit, you are the person i used to stalk when i was in high school. fuck please tell me you don’t remember me. oh damn you just used my high school nickname – i am fucked, aren’t i?’ au

       ‘we bumped into each other on the supermarket after several years and we were both dressed fancy so we assumed we were both wealthy so we agreed to go on a date but i am not rich, i actually work as a living mannequin on a store and i was on my break but i don’t want you to think that i am a loser so shit how do i pretend to be wealthy when i don’t even have money to – wait, you are not wealthy either?’ au 

        or the same au above except ‘wait, you are actually a multimillionaire and you are terrified about people using you for your money so you are happy to have met someone who gets it? shit now i can’t tell you the truth’ au

      and just – yOUNG ADULTS / ADULTS THINGS.