so i was thinking about another modern au where the greek gods have had to adapt to modern society and so they’ve picked up mortal jobs and hobbies and interests and i got really into it.
hermes is a late night comedian, since that’s the way that most information is transmitted nowadays, and he still gets to poke fun at his siblings.
poseidon is a high powered eco lawyer. he works on high profile cases along the lines of the bp oil spill. he has beach-side houses all over the world and enjoys thrill-seeking outdoor activities like cliff jumping and cave diving.
hades teaches high school english, along the lines of the dead poets society. he lives near his school and brings his dog to school every day. he loves teaching british literature like shakespeare and john donne. his wife comes to visit him and they eat lunch together every day in his office, which always has flowers in it.
apollo works as a librarian at a university, and he moonlights as a slam poet. he teaches archery at the local YMCA and stays in on weekends with a mug of tea and a good book or movie.
vesta makes ceramics professionally. she feels most at home among the wheels and glazes and kilns of her workshop. there are always candles lit in her apartment that don’t seem to go out. she loves hosting dinner parties for her friends, who are her true family.
dionysus works as a bartender. he owns a vineyard on the side but lets other people handle the corporate side of things. his favorite part of acting mortal is getting to know the people who come to his bar and connecting with them. he never forgets a face and he has a wall of pictures of his favorite customers behind the bar.
athena teaches middle school social studies/history because she’s discovered that she really enjoys working with children. at this age she can impart wisdom upon them and teach them logic and reason before they are too swayed by the opinions of the world.
zeus is a con artist and art thief. he never stays in a city for more than a week, but he has someone new in his bed every night. he frequents casinos and clubs and owns a villa out in California which is filled with more famous works of art than he ought to have.
hera is a very bitter and sarcastic wedding planer, like james marsden in 27 dresses minus the journalism bit. she is most famous among celebrity circles for having just the right “touch” when it comes to decor and menu planning and floral arrangements. she charges a ton but can work magic, from short-term planning to getting the bride’s wishes just right. she doesn’t believe in the sanctity of marriage but it has bought her summer homes in hawaii and costa rica so she’ll sell the idealized vision.
aphrodite runs several dating sites like eharmony and okcupid, but also some like ashley madison that facilitate affairs because she rules more over the sexual side of things than the love side, despite her image to the former. she loves rap and hip hop and takes kick-boxing classes and always looks like she has makeup on. she anonymously supports planned parenthood because she wants to support safe sex and allow people to find the information and resources they need.
artemis owns a climbing gym and leads outdoor climbing adventures for her clients and also her buddies. she has tons of tattoos and piercings and a secret love for pop punk music like fob and p!atd. on the weekends, she runs lgbtqia+ support groups for children and teens in her neighborhood, and always lets them climb for free in her gym.
hephaestus owns a tattoo parlor and has a reputation for the most lifelike tattoos that always seem to be exactly what someone had in mind, as if he magically could see their thoughts. he’s a total teddybear and has a penchant for classical music and teaches at-risk children in his city how to repair bikes and cars on the weekends.